While there is no “ninja” technique on how to make her cum, there are steps that you can follow to discover your girl’s orgasmic triggers. Learn all that here!
Before we start…
I want to respect your time by coming clean about what this isn’t and giving you the ”bad news” first.
What I’m about to share is NOT easy.
It’s not about the “secret ninja” fingering technique or finding the best lesbian sex toys that will magically make her cum uncontrollably in a few minutes.
Yes, some girls will cum DESPITE you because they are naturally orgasmic.
But in 95% of the cases, you’ll need to establish trust, learn her unique arousal mechanism, and it will take trial & error (read: time).
That’s the bad news out of the way.
Now here’s how you make her cum without fail through trial & error…
It’s not fast or easy, BUT if you persist one of these steps WILL work.
Oh… and just so you know in this guide we START the conversation…
…then if you’re really committed (i don’t want just anyone joining) you’ll continue the education by joining the special email course I’ve designed for you to become master in giving her unlimited pleasure.
That journey will start with female erogenous zone map…
But I’m jumping ahead… more on that later.
You know…I’ve been there.
Not being able to make her cum. Being terrible in bed.
In fact, out of frustration came my relentless learning to crack the code.
I experienced it all in my dating days (more than 30 girls, in committed relationships now):
- #1 — of her not being able to cum no matter what I do (eat her, finger her…none of my ninja techniques were working suddenly)
- #2 — her being able to cum only by herself
- #3 — and me apologizing again and again for not being able to satisfy her…
Till I learned the orgasming secrets I’m about to share with you.
If you apply the steps you will ALWAYS be able to make her cum — maybe not for the first time, but at 3–4–5th attempt. Yes.
Here’s what we’re gonna cover in this guide:
- The Most Common Female Orgasm Myths Debunked
- Pussy Secrets: Learn The Secrets of Her Most Erogenous Spots
- The Key To Making Her Orgasm Hard & Achieve Spontaneous Orgasms
- 7 Ninja Tricks & Techniques To Make Her Come Harder
- The Best Sex Positions To Make Her Orgasm
- 6 Sexperts Give Their Advice on The Best Way To Make Her Come
You can jump around if you know the basics (like you’ve read a few sex books, know Nina Hartley, She Comes First, Sex God Method, OmgYes training …etc.).
If you’re new to sexual pleasure, I recommend you to read the guide as it was intended step by step.
Table of Contents
#1 — The Most Common Female Orgasm Myths Debunked
This is where it all starts…
Note: If the introductory part sounds too basic, just skim through.
It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly where your issue is so I need to run through the most common obstacles. From most basic to advanced.
It’s an important part because most men at least unconsciously think that women are similar to them.
They assume that at least.
#1.1. Guys Think That Women Can Cum Just From The Intercourse
Guys come from intercourse only, but the surveys from women report again and again that only 20% of women climax from intercourse!
Let me say that again:
80% of women don’t orgasm if you are just stimulating her vaginally with your penis!
For guys it’s super pleasurable, for women it’s nice too, but the real pleasure for her is hidden in her clit area, whole pussy area…
Women MUST have clitoral stimulation to orgasm!
#1.2. Guys Think That Woman’s Arousal Is The Same As Theirs
Again this is subconscious.
You as a guy probably get hard with just a sight of a naked girl’s body — seeing her breasts, pussy, butt…
For women… well, they are a lot more complicated!
Their biggest erogenous zone is their BRAIN.
So I know this is cliche, but they do need foreplay that’s longer than for guys.
But I don’t mean it in the classical sense — since arousal happens in her brain, you can trick her brain into arousal if you think a little ahead of the time.
For example, if you want to have sex with her in the evening — send her some dirty texts, have some sexy talks in the evening, get her thinking about it…
Just most guys go straight for the gold and end up being rejected wondering what the hell happened…!
Has that happened to you?
#1.3. Guys are trained to be visually stimulated, where sex is mostly touch based — sensual
If you’re in your 30’s and younger chances are porn has had a huge impact on you.
Well, for example, I myself was trained to be visually aroused from porn since I was 16.
It was all good and dandy till I got older…
Then at 30 I suddenly couldn’t get hard and excited on my girl!
The slow, sensual sex or foreplay that she sometimes craved just wasn’t arousing enough for me!
Yep, and it murdered her arousal and our sex adventures for quite a while.
Until I went on porn detox, in fact now I don’t watch any porn at all, or even don’t jerk off by myself ever.
And guess what?
My touch senses have sharpened again and now I am a master of foreplay, master of arousal and giving her spontaneous orgasms all the time!
What if it could be that simple, you wonder?
Yeah, simply stopping bad porn habits and then being present with your girl in the bedroom will do wonders for your connection, arousal… and then she’ll come so much faster — it will be even too easy!
#2 — Pussy Secrets: Learn The Secrets of Her Most Erogenous Spots
Okay, let’s get to the juicy stuff…
You already know that her most erogenous spot is her brain!
If you can arouse her brain, then that’s the only foreplay you need!
How can you do the foreplay for her brain?
- Send her dirty texts — “I’ve been thinking of that sexy butt of yours…” , “You know, I dreamt about us having such a dirty sex tonight…”
- Talk about your past sexual experiences or fantasies — this will get her mind on sex topic and will get her naturally aroused! You can also just go to Reddit (here’s tons of sex subreddits) or any other forum and read to her the sex stories from random people. Works like magic..!
- Intentional seductive touch — ideally do it in the public place… dinner, whatever. Just flirt with her. Have that mischievous look in your eyes, do it right and when you come home she’ll be burning for your body.
A Quick Anatomy Lesson On Other Sexy Spots
Okay, now you got her brain aroused…
Next is to get her body hot and pussy wet.
Now guys have just one big erogenous zone — their cock!
Women… have tons of them everywhere!!!
When kissing her, caress her body with a soft, explorative, curious touch.
Especially good spots:
…her neck, the back of her head, earlobes, look in her eyes with dirty, passionate look…
… joints, inner thighs, playful touch on her breasts…
Just don’t attack her breasts and vagina straight away!
She’s not an anime sex doll that you can just do whatever you want with.
Build it up to there!
If you’re a real champ, you’ll give her an erotic, sexy massage…
…and if she’s begging you to fuck her — that’s when you know you’re doing it right.
You want to tease her… drive her crazy and take charge.
Almost every woman loves that!
Now when you go to her vagina…
Explore it all around there!
Ignore her clitoris at first!! (marked in red in the picture).
It’s cool that you know where the clitoris is, but the whole area — inner thighs, inner lips, outer lips… the skin around her clitoris — it’s all super sensitive!
You can either finger her while kissing her or go down on her and eat, lick and suck her pussy!
If you do want to go down on her though, make sure you have a sexy shower first — it will set both of you at ease and remove any worries about cleanliness.
Here are few cool pussy eating techniques you can try:
- lick it or rub it horizontally across her clit (yep, not vertically as everyone does) —my girl loves this move!
- jerk of her clitoris — think of her clit like a small penis and use the hood of her clit to jerk that little thing off up and down! She’ll be blown away 🙂
- suck on her clit — make an O with your lips and put them around her clit — then suck on it while letting her pussy slowly out from your mouth.
You can make her cum hard just from this foreplay stuff…
And it’s actually a cool idea to make her orgasm even before the intercourse…
This will just set you at ease… but up to you…
You can also learn how to make a girl squirt and take it to the next level.
#3 — The Key To Making Her Orgasm Hard & Achieve Spontaneous Orgasms
Actually, the key was already covered in the previous point.
It’s to get her aroused and horny before you get to the sex part itself!
Okay, but there are still more tweaks.
One thing that really can help you sense things that she likes WITHOUT asking is by practicing full presence… and activating all your five senses.
Don’t focus on your penis, her pussy and how hard she makes you.
Focus on her breath, the noises she makes, how her body reacts to your touch..etc…
She will notice your presence and will be able to relax more!
The #1 arousal killer is her brain!
Yes, it goes both ways.
If you do anything to make her think, worry, be insecure… She will never orgasm.
So set her at ease by:
- tell her how sexy she is in your eyes — the more specific body parts you compliment the better. This will help to relax her insecurities
- make noises, show how much you’re enjoying it — if you’re silent as a rock (as most men are) then she will start to worry “Is he enjoying it? Is it me? I don’t know… Am I not sexy to him?”
- full presence — be there with her, look at her with sparkling, fiery eyes, don’t really on fucking techniques — play with her body, play with your touch!
#4 — ️Ninja Tricks & Techniques To Make Her Come Harder
Yeah, yeah… I just told you it’s not about techniques, but you still need to know some to get you going huh?
The Rhythm Technique
Okay, either you are having intercourse or just giving her oral sex, you can utilize this technique!
The thing is that for guys to orgasm they need faster stimulation at the end…!
What they don’t realize is that for women it’s not the same…!
So let’s say you experiment with different positions, movements, intensity… and then you find something that she really likes.
Her body suddenly tenses up, she starts moaning, screaming… saying — Oh baby, I’m so close!
What do you do?
Naturally, you will become excited and fuck her harder, rub her faster and more intensely than before…
And then what happens?
She says… Oh, I’m so close, but the orgasm just kinda went away…
This is one trick that got me giving her 1–2 climaxes every time we had sex to her having 4–5 spontaneous orgasms!
The way you do it is simple!
Once you find something that works — KEEP THE FUCKING RHYTHM!
Keep the same strength, speed, movement.
And just stay on it for as long as it takes!
She’ll come so hard and scream so hard, and you’ll be thinking to yourself — This is too easy!!!
Note: If you want to really become an expert lover in bed, check out RevSex by Alex Allman. From this course I learned 90% that I learned from reading all the others books, programs, online.
Later he became my friend and he’s super knowledgable. I am giving you a quick cheat sheet here, but every woman is different and having proper foundation is invaluable.
If you buy the program, I will earn a commission at no cost to you which helps me create kick-ass guides like this for free. Anyhoo, that’s my ramble.
Edging Orgasm Control
Now, what’s edging?
Edging is when you bring her close to the climax and then slow down or stop the stimulation at all.
The more times you do it, it’s kinda like charging the battery.
Every next time you bring her close to the edge, but don’t make her cum, she’ll get more and more aroused.
When you do decide to cross the edge the final time — she’ll scream, come hard and have a long soul-shaking orgasm!
It’s that simple!
For best results however you would tell her before what you’re up to and ask her to tell you when she’s close.
Ideally, you would sense it yourself without her telling, but cooperation will always bring better results.
Ask Her To Touch Herself
Well, every woman is different.
In general lines, most sex techniques and tricks work with every woman, but the devil is in the details…
Every woman likes a bit different things, in a bit different way.
- #1 — you could go at it the long way… just have sex tons of times, talk a lot and observe what get her to powerful orgasms…
- or #2 — Ask her to touch herself! 🙂
And when she does, pay attention to HOW SHE DOES IT!
What movements she uses, how strong, how fast? She knows her body the best… so pay attention.
Next time you can use her tricks to send her over the edge and believe me when someone else does the movements she likes — it’s far more powerful!!!
Use Help Of The Sex Toys To Make Her Orgasm Guaranteed
Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. I review each product thoroughly and recommend only the very best.
Some girls who have never orgasmed before may have trouble cumming NO MATTER what you do.
I’ve learned that these girls simply need more stimulation that no natural way can easily provide.
Womanizer Starlet clit sucker is awesome.
(Lovehoney has 30-day return policy & 1 year product warranty. Important for toys like this).
Simply apply it on the clit, go through the modes till you find the right one.
I was blown away how quickly my gf came with it.
I shit you not — it was in 15–30sec, no more.
I didn’t know it was possible for a woman to orgasm so fast. Incredible.
Here’s a great video explaining how Starlet looks like and works:
Toys in general are so much fun.
They are the easiest way to add extra kink and spice in the bedroom overnight!
If you’re curious where you can learn more about vibrators with dildos… vibrators with remote control (for public play), check out a fake cum dildo for those who are into realistic play, or if you fancy some fantasy play – there’s also a dog cock dildo.
Oh…and if you’re worried that she might eventually like sex toys better than you do…
Because she already knows that vibrators and dildos will make her orgasm 2x faster…!
But the same way as you can watch porn, get yourself off, buy a blowjob toy… somehow you still return to the real pussy, don’t you?
There are so many chemical reactions that happen in our bodies during real sex, that no sex toys by themselves can EVER replace.
So get over it — get some sex toys and experience even harder and faster orgasms for her!!!
Even squirting is possible with a good G-spot wand or the best vibrator for squirting.
The Best Sex Positions To Make Her Orgasm During Sex
Okay, so we focused on pussy eating, fingering…and different tricks to make her orgasm…
And yes, even during sex you’ll still need to stimulate her clitoris if you want her to cum.
That’s why easy cheating hacks are having a nice vibrator, clit sucker…or even a penis ring (to get harder and girthier dick), that outsources the hard work to the sex toy 🙂
But there is one SUPERB sex position, that lets you have nice intercourse AND stimulates her pussy at the same time!
It’s called the Coital Alignment Technique
This is how it works.
You’re in missionary position with you (man on the top).
Usually, you would just go up/down in and out from her.
But it’s a very sexually stimulating position for you so it’s hard to do it for long and not ejaculate.
However, if get your pubic bone to rest against hers…and thrust up and down it will magically rub her pussy (clitoris) and give her nice vaginal stimulation at the same time!
And best of all — it’s not too stimulating for you!
You can thrust like that for hours.
Because the pressure is not on your penis head, it lets you last long.
Just make sure you make her pussy super wet — that grinding only works if it’s nice and glidy down there.
If you need, don’t be shy to use a rich amount of lube ( a water lube is the safest).
Just find the pace she likes.
Keep on it till she cums powerfully all over your penis!
Doggy Style Position To Stimulate Her G-Spot
Women love this position because of the G-spot stimulation it gives.
If you angle yourself like in the picture and thrust shallowly (few inches in) you’ll stimulate her G!
And additionally, when you are
Now you or she can stimulate her clitoris from there.
In this position, you can fuck her nicely — go in and out and this is great if you wanna have some more primal fucking.
She can also be on all her fours… just adjust as you both like. It’s a matter of experimentation.
Bonus tip: If you have mirrors in bedroom, make sure you used them! You both will love seeing yourselves in the mirror and get super hard!
Finally, just keep experimenting — check the whole Kamasutra positions!
Look at great sex as an investment.
You do invest in your relationships, right? But somehow most people never think of investing in their sexual life.
If you commit to yourself to reading something sex-related and educational (like Foundertips) you’ll naturally have ideas to try and it will bring variety in your bedroom!
#2 tip is to simply change things up — don’t have the sex always in the same place, same time (hint: before going to sleep).
Take shower together, have sex in the sofa, fuck her while she’s cooking… if you arouse her brain first…
…she’ll be open to having sex everywhere (even on a sex sling) and will orgasm quickly!!
6 Sexperts Give Their Advice on The Best Way To Make Her Come
Okay, I know this is only one guy’s perspective on sexual pleasure… and even if I’ve been with over thirty girls ( now 2 years in happy relationships)…
I wanted to add perspective by asking other women and men for their best tips!
Here we go:
#1 — Advice: Guys, BE VOCAL. Just do it.
“So, as a 34-year-old male with a decent, but not massive, amount of sexual experience, I am telling you guys this one little addition to your bedroom repertoire can put you in a league above most other men.
Judging by the comments of a lot of women both here, other sex subs on Reddit, and in real-world conversations, it would even appear that most women would pick a man who can only fuck for 10 minutes, but who is vocal, over a guy who can fuck for 45 minutes, but is completely silent, given that everything else is equal.
I’m not trying to speak for all women. I’m just saying that this has been my observation. But if you observe 100 frogs, and you see 95 of them jump, it’s a fair assumption that….frogs jump.
Speaking from my personal experience, learning to just let go and be vocal was a game-changer for me back in my early 20’s. It’s a major part of the “animalistic” aspect of sex that most PEOPLE, not just women, love.
Before I learned to just let go and use my voice during sex, I never had sex with anyone more than once.
No one ever came back for more.
The FIRST TIME I decided to just let go, moan, growl, grunt, and talk a little dirty, I started getting “repeat customers and referrals,” meaning I had women both coming back for more AND giving me rave reviews to their friends, which resulted in referral sex.
I did not do a thing to adjust my technique.
I did not suddenly start lasting longer.
All I did was allow myself to finally let out the natural sounds that I had been suppressing my whole life. It blew my mind how much “being natural” improved my performance.
Is it a fair assumption that MOST men would be vocal in bed if they weren’t self-conscious about it?
The number one reason I hear/read about why men are quiet is that they “feel weird” about it. That’s either because they’ve suppressed it their whole lives or because they think that “being vocal” means being corny and disingenuous, spouting off ridiculous lines they saw in some porn video.
“Oh yeah, that’s right you dirty little slut… you love that big fucking dick stretching you out, don’t you? Yeah, that’s right because you’re my dirty little whore. Take that dick.”
Yeah….that sounds fucking stupid when it isn’t genuine. Now, if something like that really does come naturally to you and truly is what you’re feeling and you just let it rip, it just might STILL be hot to her, but it’s a safe bet that an entire dirty paragraph is not what comes naturally to most men.
I’m simply talking about moaning, very heavy breathing, sharp inhales through the teeth, grunting, growling in her ear, single words (nothing beats a good “ffffuck”), and short sentences (“Fuck your pussy feels so good…”). Just say what you’re FEELING.
Hell half the shit I say is incoherent garble most of the time because it feels so good, I can’t get out a sentence anyway.
And yeah, I sound like a drunken moron sometimes, but if you’re letting your inner animal out to play, which IS what she wants, you’ll probably have the same “problem.”
However, she is going to be so turned on knowing that she is making you feel so good that you can’t even spell “fuck,” let alone say it correctly, that I promise you the last thing she’ll be thinking about is your word vomit.
On the occasion that I can put a sentence together, it’s usually in the form of praising her. “Good girl…you’re taking my dick SO well…” And in my experience, that is always appreciated, especially the “good girl.”
Something to that effect is great and makes her feel sexy and appreciated.
The bad news is most guys feel so self-conscious about making sounds that they would rather have the woman think she’s being fucked by a ninja than risk sounding “creepy” or “weird.”
You won’t though. You won’t sound creepy if it’s genuine. She’ll think it’s hot. Most women use their minds for sex as much as their bodies.
YOU NEED TO STIMULATE HER MIND BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER SEX.
Being vocal helps a ton with that.
The good news is that if you can conquer this issue, you can probably conquer damn near anything in bed.
From the comments I’ve seen, there are so many men who are willing to spank, bite, and choke a woman in bed, yet being vocal is still hard for them.
It seems to be the #2 thing men second guess themselves on, only 2nd to dick size.
So, if you can just master that, other things will follow.
Looking back, I used to be very boring in bed, but once I started to be vocal, it was like my inner animal had finally been unleashed, and I suddenly had no problems doing other animalistic things (with her consent) like pinning her wrists down, pulling her hair, spanking, etc.
Those were things I didn’t really do until I felt confident.
Being vocal pretty much INSTANTLY gave me that confidence.
There will be some men who genuinely aren’t vocal, and that’s fine. But most of us are being quiet for other reasons….the wrong reasons.
So just do it guys.
Believe me, it feels awesome to just let it out.
She’s letting you put your penis inside of her body. That means she wants ALL of you.
So stop holding back.
Double standards have us expecting women to be vocal.
And if they’re not, we worry that WE must be doing something wrong. Don’t you think women worry about the exact same thing?
So let her know she’s doing a good job. She deserves it.
Update: I can’t believe I forgot to include this, but making a lot of noise during orgasm is ESPECIALLY great. I tend to make a lot of noise and shake a bit and my wife LOVES it.
#2 — Advice: Go Down On Your Female Partner!
I highly recommend taking some time and going down on your partner. I don’t have a vagina or a clitoris, but my wife does, and I never really understood what made her feel good.
I thought that I could just go right at her clitoris, and that would bring her to orgasm like it was her penis. Not so.
Only after pleasing my wife did I figure out that she likes to have her clitoris stimulated around rather than directly on. It has made a big difference in how I touch her during foreplay/oral/vagina sex.
I used to think that I was being gentle, but I didn’t know how light of a touch she likes.
Please learn from my mistakes!”
#3 — Tips for reaching female orgasm through masturbation
I included this answer because it’s important for guys to understand how a woman’s mind works… Here she shares of her experience and AHA’s from masturbation… use it with your woman!!!
“I’d been masturbating for a long time, but it took me ages to be able to really orgasm.
I really tried, and most advice online is something like: just enjoy yourself!
Explore your body!
Which is not helpful.
At all. I’m not ashamed of my body or a prude, I just want to learn how to orgasm, damnit.
Things that helped me reach and recognize orgasm in the first place:
Step 1: What makes an orgasm an orgasm?
Simply rubbing my clit did feel good for me when I first started masturbating.
However, I never thought I had reached orgasms (even though in retrospect, I probably did). It would feel really good, and then I became hypersensitive and it hurt to touch my clit.
I was reading all sort of articles online and most of them described orgasms as this earth-shattering, explosive feeling. I didn’t have that.
Masturbation simply felt good, and then didn’t anymore. I honestly thought I was broken or simply not trying hard enough.
Also, most tips online suggested stuff like candles or music, which didn’t do jack shit — I want to get off, not insert myself in a male soft porn fantasy of women moaning between rose petals and candles.
That went on for years — and all I could find online were stupid Cosmo articles like “Why we love to orgasm — it’s the most amazing feeling ever in the history of mankind and you should totally have more orgasms” — which made me feel even worse.
Until I found an obscure post in a forum somewhere.
I think it was some sort of counselor responding to someone with the exact same problem. She said that orgasm can simply be a sensation you are having — a build up, and then it is over.
It’s not all toe-curling and moaning fits. It may not be pleasurable at first either.
Let me tell you something — My mind was BLOWN.
I had had orgasms. Hundreds of them.
I just never knew I did cause the media makes them out to be this huge, amazing, natural secret you have to unlock.
But the thing is — orgasms can be learned. And they evolve.
Step 2: How do I make my orgasm pleasurable, intense and amazeballs?
So, after that, I started experimenting. Masturbation was a lot more fun because I didn’t feel as much pressure anymore. It soon started to feel pretty good. But not quite earth-shattering. Yet.
So, I got a vibrator.
IF YOU TAKE ONE THING FROM THIS: GET A VIBRATOR.
You can get a cheap one for 20 bucks, it really does not matter.
Just get yourself something that vibrates and hold it against your clit.
If you worried about what other people think: You can order them online.
I got mine from Amazon, and it came in a brown box (no way to figure out what it was) without any company label on the package.
They are super discrete.
So, I used a vibrator, and it was AMAZING.
I masturbated multiple times a day. Sometimes I had like 5 min before I had to leave for class, and I would get off easily in that time.
I had all sorts of incredible orgasms. I think I became a bit addicted.
So, that thing served me well for a month or so, until it ran out of batteries and I kind of had to get rid of it anyway, because I was temporarily moving home to my super conservative parents.
But, the vibrator taught my body what good orgasms are, and I knew what I was striving for when masturbating.
I’ve only used my hands to masturbate since, and I’ve had no problem reaching amazing orgasms, even without a vibrator. Yay! ^
I hope this helped. If my situation does not compare to yours, here’s a couple of general tips:
- find some sort of stimulant that really turns you on: it could be some porn, erotica, or even a story you make up in your mind. Make sure you’re really really turned on by it.
- lubricate: Once you’re really aroused, spread some vaginal juice from your vagina to your clitoris. I find that touching my clitoris when its dry kind of hurts, so make sure to lubricate. (or get help from the lube.)
- Then start rubbing your clitoris. I currently prefer going in circles, but that is kind of your call.
#4 — Having Challenges With Talking Dirty? Here’s What Will Work:
I’ve seen a lot of people say they want to learn how to dirty talk during sex, or their woman wants them to try it.
So I’ve written up a few basic pointers for everyone to get started. This isn’t going to tell you exactly what to say, it’s going to show you why and how it works.
- Dirty Talking is as much about the tone of voice you use as the words being said. If you’re going for seductive, try a low gentle voice, if you want to be commanding, do a sharp quick voice (low pitch if you’re male, high if you’re female). This all varies on partner preference, but delivery is important.
- You don’t have to be loud, sometimes whispering something can be hotter than screaming it.
- Dirty Talk should be pantomimed, not rehearsed. Don’t memorize lines ahead of time, instead say things that fit the situation. Get acquainted with how your partner reacts, do they shudder or get more aroused when you say certain things? Keep saying words like that.
- Just because it’s dirty doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic, Dirty talk doesn’t always mean dirty. You can say “I love you” or other sweet nothings in there too, just vary it up a bit. Try to avoid being clinical with names unless they are into that (You may not be comfortable calling it a pussy, but use a different term than Vagina)
- Repetition isn’t bad. You can say the same thing over and over and it still be hot. There’s a fine line here, you don’t want to just endlessly repeat the same line, but if you find something is effective, saying it again in the same session can still be effective.
- Know your partner’s kinks. Are they dominant? submissive? (maybe neither), do they get off on cute baby talk or dirty nasty words? Do they like to be called certain things? (Baby, Darling, Slut, Daddy, etc.). Talk about sex, find out what turns them on, and that can help you know what to say.
- A question is prompt. If your partner asks you a question during sex, half the time it has nothing to do with them not knowing the answer. If they ask “Do you like how that feels?” it isn’t because they don’t know, they WANT to hear you say it. If they repeat the question again it’s because they still want to hear you say it, or say it in a different way.
- Be Cheesy. Don’t worry about how silly the things you’re saying are, you aren’t being graded on performance (unless you’re boning your English Teacher). Most dirty talking sounds really silly and cheesy out of context, but sex is supposed to be fun, not super serious, let yourself relax and be silly. You can even laugh about it later (or during if that’s your thing).
- Watching porn is actually a good coach for how to dirty talk. You don’t even have to watch hardcore porn if it’s something you’re not comfortable with. Some of the best dirty-talking videos are actually JOI/JOE (Jerk Off Instruction/Encouragement) videos where women (often still clothed) are just talking dirty to a camera. Watch a few of those for pointers on how to sound, what to say, how to stay engaged. Even better, watch them with your partner and see which things excite them or don’t and you’ll have better clues on how to talk dirty.
- Roleplay helps dirty-talking. Try out a roleplay as a Nurse/Patient, or Student/Teacher, or Naughty Neighbors, or whatever roles get you going. Playing those roles effectively means saying the lines, and getting into those roles helps you act out the dirty talk more effectively and sets the tone for the rest of the play.
- Be engaged. Unless your partner has a casual sex fetish, one of the biggest reasons people enjoy dirty talking is it keeps the sex engaging, nobody wants to feel like their sexual efforts aren’t being appreciated, so dirty talk helps express how enjoyable it is. Look in each other’s eyes, get close and whisper in their ear, just make sure you stay focused on them and let them know what you are enjoying.
- There is no right or wrong way to dirty talk. Your partner will probably have preferences, but talking about it before and after sex can help you learn these.
- You don’t have to dirty talk all the time, it’s okay to have sex where nothing is said, or where you only do it half the time, or where you do it through the whole thing. Sometimes waiting for the right moment can make it all the more effective. Is your partner on the verge of orgasm? A well-timed dirty talk can be enough to push them over the edge. Having difficulty keeping it hard? Dirty talk can definitely help perk it up. Is sex too slow or too fast? Change the flow by changing your voice, have them switch from wild to sensual and back as you desire.
This is just a quick little bullet guide to help dirty talkers out.
Bringing It All Together
Now you should have tons and tons of ideas on how to make a girl cum fast, hard and have the most powerful orgasms of their lives!!!
Just keep on it — keep experimenting, focus on improvement, not perfection!
And I promise you every next time will get better and better.
Once I got great at orgasmic arts now my girl is the one initiating sex all the time! Because she knows how much pleasure she will get!
I wish that to you…
And remember once you get to give her orgasms easily, know it’s not just about orgasms.
Sometimes it’s nice to just have slow, gentle lovemaking session with no orgasms at sight at all!
Just sexual connection, presence… no goals…
Make sure you share your best tips down below, lets keep the conversation going!