How To Make Her Cum Without Fail (By Learning Your Girl’s Arousal Triggers)

While there is no “ninja” technique on how to make her cum, there are steps that you can follow to discover your girl’s orgasmic triggers. Learn all that here!

how to make her cum

Did you cum?” You asked with an expectant smile.

Sorry to break it to you. But if you had to ask, odds are, she probably didn’t.

Knowing how to make your girl cum without fail is a learned art. Like many things, practice makes perfect. You can’t keep making the same moves and expect a different result.

So, equip yourself with the knowledge on how to make her orgasm during sex and step up your game. 

We’ll go on a deep dive on mastering the art of female pleasure, and you’ll surely come out a different man by the end of this article.


Before

There are a couple of things you should do before even making any move towards the Big O. Foreplay starts even before you touch her.

Make Sure She’s Comfortable

Men and women treat sex and masturbation quite differently. While more women today are becoming open and confident about female pleasure and sexual arousal, women still feel guilt and shame about it.

Some women aren’t as open to their friends about it as there are still people who find it a “taboo” subject. Others have a more conservative upbringing that being intimate makes them feel guilty.

If your girl has negative feelings about sex, help ease her mind. And the best way to go about it? Communicate.

It can take time to make her truly feel at ease, so don’t rush her.


Build Trust

Not in a manipulative way, but in an I-care-for-you-and-I-want-to-please-you way.

A woman can’t come if she doesn’t trust you. Period.

Even if you’re so good at your tongue or your moves, and even if she’s on the brink of orgasm, she can stop her O if she doesn’t feel entirely comfortable.

Women find cumming a very vulnerable experience, and they only allow themselves to do it if they’re ready to be open and surrender themselves to you.


*If you want to skip to the good part, watch this useful video from School of Squirt. It gives step-by-step video lessons and all the mindsets and techniques needed to give any girl squirting orgasms every time.*


Teasing and Building Anticipation

Building up anticipation is an important technique you should use. With women, it’s not just physical stimulation. They have to be mentally and emotionally turned on.

That’s also why it could take longer for women to get in the mood than men. But, of course, that’s not always the case.

For many women, cumming is both a physical and mental stimulation. That is why women enjoy reading erotica rather than just watching porn. Her mind is a powerful place for climaxing.

She needs to be horny and dripping wet before you even try to make her orgasm. 


Know what she likes

No two women are the same. What feels great to one might not be great to the other.

If you have a previous partner, you can use what you learned from that experience with your current lover. However, you can’t expect your current girl to love what your previous one did.

For example, most women get off with direct clitoral stimulation. But that’s not a rule, and your girl might prefer G-spot stimulation or just penetration.

How about if she doesn’t know what she likes?

Take the lead. But always be attentive to her cues.

For example, does she push your hand away to stop? Or does she press it to herself, so you keep going?


Know her arousal triggers

I’ve been with women who are more vocal about what they enjoyed and what they didn’t. However, some are more reserved. They can be shy, but that doesn’t mean she has no cues that she’s aroused.

Observing your partner’s body language greatly helps. Of course, you can’t get it perfect the first few times, but you can definitely learn more over time.

Some of the common arousal triggers or cues are:

  • Moans
  • Contented sighs
  • Heavy breathing
  • Goosebumps and shivers
  • Leaning her body into you
  • Flushed face
  • Relaxed body
  • Clenching her legs together
  • Erect nipples

Foreplay

Sex and orgasm aren’t the main courses on the menu. Foreplay is just as fun, hot, and pleasurable when done right.

And it’s VERY important for a girl to orgasm.

Foreplay increases sexual arousal both for you and your partner. It gets the juices flowing, which is essential in making her vagina wet and increasing blood flow to her genitals, so they’re more sensitive and ready.

Some foreplay tips you should do are:

  • Sexting
  • Pillow talk
  • Roleplaying wild fantasies
  • Kisses
  • Setting the mood with some candles
  • Putting sex music on
  • Striptease
  • Dry humping
  • Dirty talk
  • Sensual massages
  • Sensory play

Switch things up

Nothing spells blander than doing the same things again and again.

Yes, your girl enjoyed the way you kissed her neck, ate her, and then inserted your peen. And then you make the same pattern next time… and the next… and the next…

Trust me, the next time you reach out and make your go-to move to kiss her neck, she’ll roll over her blanket for a good snooze.

Variety is the spice of life. And there are countless ways to add variety to your sextivities.

Always doing it on the bed? How about trying to put your kitchen counter for some kinky eating sessions?

Tired of the familiar sensations? Introduce sex toys that vibrate and suck.

The world is your oyster.


During

An orgasm is an orgasm. But they’re not always the same. In fact, there are different types of Big Os for women. That means more ways for you to make your girl cum!

Orgasm By Fingering

Many guys think of fingering as putting the finger into the vagina (much as you would do with a penis), moving it in and out, and then calling it a day. Well, that could work. 

But if you want to make her orgasm, you have to be good with your fingers AND hands. And most of that fingering and handiwork involves exploring the vagina externally.

The key to fingering is clit stimulation

You may have heard this repeated a thousand times. But many women don’t orgasm from penetration alone

Clit stimulation, however, tends to be very effective with its 8,000 nerve endings clumped into that one tiny spot.

How do you stimulate her clit using your fingers? First, you can massage it with your fingers. Just make sure you have some lubrication on your hands before directly touching it, whether from her natural juices or lubricant. Directly touching it with dry fingers can feel irritating.

Something to note

Always start slow. Even if a woman likes to go fast and hard, they still need a buildup. You can’t go from 0 to 100 in just one second.

Massage her vulva first and make sure she’s already wet before inserting even one finger inside.

Work your way in and keep your rhythm persistent. If you see her liking it, don’t switch to doing another thing. Instead, keep doing it until she reaches her edge.

Tips:

  • Use your tongue, and go down on her as you’re fingering.
  • Do some housekeeping and keep your nails short. It reduces the risk of infection and ensures it won’t be painful for your girl if you accidentally stab her sensitive spots.

Orgasm By Oral Sex

To make her reach orgasm through oral sex, you will have to learn how to perform cunnilingus—the pleasurable way.

Don’t kill the mood by diving straight between her legs. Girls could feel shy and uncomfortable when you go down on them. 

So make sure they’re very horny, turned on, and practically begging for you to do it before you do.

How?

Hit all her hotspots first—kiss her, grab her breasts, tease her nipples, etc.

Practice and experiment with different techniques to find out which combination of oral sex and labia lip stimulation gives her the most pleasure.

Most importantly, go all in. Be enthusiastic as you devour her and treat her like the queen she is.

Tips:

  • Sex furniture like queening stools makes oral sex easier. Your partner won’t have to support and balance her weight; she’ll just be enjoying the sensations, and she may even be able to bounce easily as she likes. It’s also easier for you as her pussy will be directly right on your face. You can even prop a pillow for more comfort!
  • Make oral fun by spelling and tracing letters using your tongue.
  • Give sexy suction with your lips on her labia, hood, and clit. Doing this gives your tongue a break and draws blood to the area, making it engorged and more sensitive.

Orgasm By Anal Sex

Unlock your woman’s anal O, and she’ll thank you forever. 

A woman’s anus packs a lot of nerves that connect to the clitoris. This nerve, particularly the pudendal nerve, carries that pleasurable sensation to and from a woman’s perineum, vagina, vulva, and anus. Interesting, right?

That’s why many women describe orgasm from anal as a spreading wave of pleasure. For others, it feels like a pulse of contractions around the anal sphincter.

How to get started

First, she has to agree to the idea of anal sex.

Some women are uncomfortable with it, so make sure you get her consent and enthusiasm before exploring her backdoor.

Make sure you stock up on lube. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate like her vagina. So lubricants are crucial to avoid friction and make insertion easy peasy.

Techniques you can try:

  1. Use your tongue. It doesn’t directly stimulate her A-spot, but that perianal area is an erogenous zone your tongue should wander into. Swirl it around the anus, and pushing the tip of your tongue into the opening can be hot as hell.

  1. Insert your finger—slowly. Put your lubed finger in and curl it to a “come hither” motion. Listen to her reactions as you gradually increase the speed and depth of your finger. Once you find the spot that makes her go “ooooh,” press your finger pad onto it (like you’re ringing a doorbell) or circle your finger around that area.

  1. Go to the next level and insert your penis or sex toy. Again, play with depth or add vibrations for more sensations.

Orgasm By G-spot Stimulation

It’s not for every woman, but it’s one of those things wherein you’ll never know unless you try. But how does it feel? Well, the women who orgasm from G-spot stimulation explain it as vaginal contractions, and some even squirt.

If you want to explore this with your girl, there are a few things to know:

Where’s the G-spot?

It can be tricky to find the G-spot as it’s not mapped out biologically. But it’s there!

The trusted way to spot the G-spot is using the “come hither” motion. Insert your finger into her vagina, palm up towards her belly button. It’s at the inner top wall of the vagina at about two to three inches in.

Some of the telltale signs you found are if you feel a bumpy area around that section when you touch it. And, of course, from her reaction.

Every woman’s vulva and vagina are different, so the only way for you to really know is by exploring.

The best sex positions to stimulate her G-spot

You can perform G-spot stimulation by fingering. But this time, let’s discuss how you can stimulate her G-spot during sex with these positions:

  1. Cowgirl – This is the best way for your girl to orgasm by her G-spot as she’s in control over the rhythm, depth, and angle. Moving her hips back and forth is also more effective than bobbing up and down.

  1. Doggy style – It’s a perfect angle to hit the G-spot during sex. Have her butt up in the air and her shoulders low and touching the bed.
doggy style position sex
  1. Missionary – But the closed variation. Instead of straddling between her legs, your woman has her legs closed while your legs go on the outside. This position isn’t for deep penetration (as the G-spot isn’t deep anyway), but it creates a tighter sensation and more friction against her G-spot.
coital alignment technique sex position

Orgasm By Clitoral Stimulation

If you want a sure-fire way to make your girl orgasm, then go for clitoral stimulation. The clit is nicknamed the “pleasure nub” for a reason, and it’s always a dependable chap for women to reach their Big O.

The clit exists solely for pleasure. It doesn’t serve any other biological function, actually.

Where’s the clit?

It may be pea-sized, but it’s quite easy to find. Its external portion, at least. It’s a nerve-dense part that sits at the apex of your girl’s labia. 

anatomy of vagina

Inside, there’s a whole, bigger hidden structure. But that discussion is for a different day, and we’ll focus more on stimulating the outer part that you can touch and see.

How to start

Warm-up her body. Her clit might not be ready to be touched just yet, so start with gentle strokes. It could take time for your girl to be aroused, and stimulating the clit immediately and directly might be too intense.

The best sex positions to stimulate your girl’s clitoris

Many positions allow you to stimulate her clit during sex. Some examples are missionary and spooning. You can easily reach her clitoris while performing these positions, giving her penetration + clit stimulation all at once.

Friction also does a really good job at clit stim. Have your partner glide up and down on your thigh or pubic bone.

The reverse rider position (the girl is straddling you, but she’s facing away from you) gives you a good angle and reach as well.

Techniques for clit stimulation

Here are techniques you can mix and match whether you’re using your finger, tongue, or sex toy

  • Tapping motion on the clit and hood.
  • Sliding up and down or back and forth across the clit and hood.
  • Doing the “peace” sign on both fingers and softly pinching or tugging the clitoral hood.
  • Grinding—no hands required. Have your girl grind on you or your pillow.

Orgasm By Squirting

Squirting or “female ejaculation” is incredibly arousing for a guy. So many men obsess over making a woman squirt. But it’s still a puzzle for many men (and even women) to accomplish.

Not all squirts are orgasms, and not all orgasms need to be squirts, and not all women experience squirting… and so on.

Important: No pressure!

Squirting can be a controversial discussion. Making a woman orgasm can be a challenge on its own, and squirting is so much trickier.

So don’t make your girl squirt just for your ego. Instead, treat it with an attitude of, “If she squirts, great! If she doesn’t, no biggie.”

It doesn’t happen to all women, and it doesn’t happen all the time, even for women who squirt.

Get your partner aroused, then ramp up clit + vaginal stimulation.

Squirting can happen during P-in-V intercourse. But squirting orgasm is more “achievable” using fingers or toys, especially if you’re still exploring this type of play.

But make sure she’s very, very aroused. Again, it’s different from woman to woman. But a good technique to explore is combining clit and vaginal stim.

Here’s how:

  1. Insert your ring and middle finger into her vagina.
  2. Press your index and pinky finger against her labia.
  3. Next, press the heel of your hand against her clitoris.
  4. Thrust in and out or in a back-and-forth motion.
  5. Continue what you’re doing until you hear a splash-splash sound, and she squirts.

Multiple Orgasms

Giving your girl a single trip to O-town is great. But two, three, four, or more? That’s fantastic! And it’s very possible too. 

Multiple or blended orgasms are the way to go if you want her to finish spent and collapse from pleasurable exhaustion.

What do multiple orgasms mean, exactly?

Multiple orgasms are cumming multiple times in one romp. It may be s p a c e d out, but they may also be blended and in quick succession from one to the other.

Quick technique

It’s pretty simple, and you just have to be really in tune with your partner’s orgasm. As she climaxes, pull back a little bit and then start ramping back again to give her another orgasm.

With the right timing and stimulation, she will orgasm in rolling waves of pleasure.

Best sex positions

TBH, there is no single sex position known to give your girl multiple orgasms specifically. This would depend on what your partner feels best for her. But don’t worry as I won’t leave you empty-handed.

Based on experience, here are sex positions that helped my partner have multiple forays of Os:

  • Missionary
  • Cowgirl
  • Doggy, but she’s lying flat on her stomach
  • Oral!

Another tip is that… it’s out of your control, but

Help your girl with her pelvic floor muscles.

Women who experience multiple orgasms often squeeze their pelvic floor muscles to prolong their orgasm. This, in turn, generates the subsequent climaxes.


Don’t Forget To Spice Things Up!

There are many ways for you to spice things up and make sex even more pleasurable. 

Use Lube

Women get wet, and so many people skip lube. And TBH, some women might feel offended if you suggest using lube as she might think you think she doesn’t feel wet enough.

But it’s actually the key for girls to orgasm practically every time during sex.

Yep, a woman self-lubricates. But if they feel conscious or a little nervous, or even anxious that they are not wet enough, it could lead to vaginal dryness. And that leads to painful sex.

Lubricants let you get onto sex faster. If you’re well-endowed, it can also help your girl take you in more easily. Plus, it helps prevent membrane tearing.

They are even flavored lubes if you want to make oral sex more fun.


Edging

You may also call it teasing, peaking, surfing, or whatever you want to call it. But basically, it’s the practice of stopping orgasm right on edge. 

After a few moments, bring her to orgasm again, only to stop when she’s on the brink again. You can do this two, three, four times, or more.

What’s the point when you actually want her to orgasm?

Well, edging can make orgasms MORE INTENSE.

But it’s essential to do this practice right. Denying her release can feel frustrating for your partner, so discuss beforehand and make sure she agrees before engaging in this activity.


Use Sex Toys

Sex toys can give you and your girl sensations like no other. For example, you might finger her as fast as you can, but still, it doesn’t match the speed of how fast thrusters go per minute. Don’t worry; sex toys are pleasurable both for you and your girl.

  • Vibrators – Of course. There’s literally a lot to choose from—G-spot, A-spot, egg, anal, and more.
  • Wand massager – Straightforward, easy to use, and easy to hold. You can use this to stimulate her clit as you go down on her or penetrate her.
  • Clit suction toys – If your girl is not into vibration, clit suction toys can help her orgasm. It uses air and sucking technology and replicates the sensation of receiving oral. Plus, it can be used on the clit OR nipples. 
  • Dildos – If you want to stimulate her with double penetration. 
  • Thrusters – Let the toy do the thrusting so you can focus on playing with her other erogenous zones.

Use Sex Furniture

When you hear sex furniture, you might think of BDSM dungeons. But nope. Regular vanilla folks can use them too.

There are a looooot of sex furniture pieces available, and each type can help bring different sensations for better orgasms. But, I’ll focus on helpful pieces of furniture that are more friendly for all users:

  • Pillows and wedges – These are support devices that make sex positions more comfortable and accessible. Missionary not hitting the angles right? Prop a sex pillow to raise your girl’s hips without her exerting too much effort.
  • Queening stools – Your girl might find sitting on your face pleasurable, but carrying her full weight can distract her from the pleasure. It can strain her back and legs. This stool is designed for facesitting and other positions like cowgirl. Plus, stools with straps even do the bouncing for you.
  • Chaises – Sex chaises are large pieces of furniture that are the size of couches. If having sex on the sofa is your thing, sex chaises make different sex positions easier to execute.

Blindfold Her

Blindfolding is an erotic play used in BDSM. But you can use blindfolding during sex even if you’re not into the BDSM lifestyle.

Restricting the sight of your woman intensifies her other senses, particularly her sense of touch. She will anticipate every touch and breath, becoming more sensitive.

A silk blindfold or scarf heightens her senses. But you can use anything to cover up her eyes.

The combination of heightened senses, excitement, and the kinkiness of blindfolding can lead your girl to reach her climax more intensely. But, it’s not extreme, and you don’t need extra toys or accessories for it.


Try Spanking

Like blindfolding, spanking isn’t exclusive to the BDSM scene. Yes, there is some pain involved. But it also comes with lots of pleasure.

Something to note

Before hitting your partner, discuss it with her and make sure you have her consent.

Erotic spanking is fun, and many women enjoy it. Here’s why:

  • Feeling submissive – Many women like it when their partner asserts dominance over them. This adds to the psychological stimulation that would make her really wet. 
  • Sudden spike of sensation – Sometimes, women hold back on their orgasm when they’re on the brink. They may do it intentionally, or there may be other reasons for it. One reason most women do is they feel like they’re peeing, and they don’t want to pee, so they hold the sensation back. Spanking them gives a sudden feeling that releases a spike in the sexual pleasure and arousal level.
  • Anticipation – Anticipating leads to excitement, which results in more sensitivity and intense sensations for the girl. But, of course, it’s important for you not to be predictable for her to get the spanking when she least expects it.

Play in the Shower

Taking a shower together is an intimate experience. And you can bring your sexual explorations into it as well.

Stimulating her vagina with a showerhead can be very naughty. However, it’s a technique that most women have tried, so she might be familiar with it. If not, you’ll be introducing her to a masturbation style she can explore at any time. 

It’s also very simple. Take the shower head and direct the running water into her vagina and clitoris. That’s it.

The cascade of water will feel very stimulating, like rubbing a particular itch in the genital. And you doing it on her is going to be erotic.


After

After the earth stops shaking and you start catching your breath again, what to do next? Many tips and manuals give you advice on what to do before sex. But what about after?

  1. Clean up. Sex can be wet and messy. Throw away the dirty tissues, take the blanket to the washer, wipe the wet surfaces and wash your sex toys.

  1. Pee. It’s more important for women to urinate after sex to prevent UTIs, but you can do it too for good measure.

  1. Shower. Clean up AND enjoy a shared experience with your lover. It’s great to feel refreshed before going back to bed.

  1. Cuddle. Women love to cuddle after sex. That’s because of the release of oxytocin, a bonding chemical after the rush of an orgasm. Cuddling and bonding post-coital would make you feel closer with your partner.

  1. Gear up for round two? Women have a shorter refractory period (the time the body recovers from an orgasm) than men. So if you’re still ready for round two, the chances are high that she probably is too. Also, she might simply not yet be ready to tap out, so try engaging her more until she’s fully satisfied.

And, finally, continue watching that Netflix series that got paused while you were getting hot with your boo.


Final Thoughts

Orgasm shouldn’t be your end-all and be-all. It’s one of those things where it’s the journey and not the destination.

Yes, you shouldn’t leave your girl hanging just because you’ve hit your peak. But you also shouldn’t be too hard on her (and yourself) if she doesn’t.

She could still enjoy sex without orgasm. What’s most important is that you’re both happy and sated. Anyways, you can always try again next time. 😉 

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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