Virtual Sex: The Best VR Sex Toys, Games & Porn in 2024

Virtual Sex

Not so long ago, the pinnacle of virtual sex technology looked like this:

( . ) ( . ) 

I don’t know if that needs a nudity warning… 

Anyway, virtual sex has come a long way since the 90s. Now we have instant picture messaging, interactive porn, high-definition video chatting, and even sex toys that can connect to each other from anywhere in the world. 

It can be a lot to take in, and there’s a lot you need to know if you want to enjoy some long-distance fun or just make things more steamy with your current partner by adding new sensations. 

Whatever your reason, you’ve come to the right place. I’ll be taking you on a quick tour to get you up to speed on everything you need to know about virtual sex, so you can have a better time and keep yourself and your privacy safe. 

Ready? Let’s go!

What Is Virtual Sex?

According to Wikipedia, here’s the definition:

Virtual Sex with toys

Virtual sex is a sexual activity where two or more people — or one person and a virtual character — gather together via some form of communications equipment to arouse each other by transmitting sexually explicit messages. Virtual sex describes the phenomenon, no matter the communications equipment used.

Is ‘Virtual Sex’ just phone or video sex?

Maybe it used to be ten years ago, but now there’s a whole lot more to see and hear. Basically, if it involves the internet or two connected devices and sexual content of any kind being exchanged, it’s virtual sex. 

Why Do People Engage in ‘Virtual Sex’?

To have naughty fun and to get off, of course! 

People have virtual sex because they like it. 

But it goes further than that. Virtual sex is an awesome method for people in long-distance relationships to stay intimate and feel more connected BOTH sexually and romantically. 

It’s also entertaining as a way to tease your partner while they’re at work or on a trip, to keep things feeling spicy throughout both of your days. 

It can also be about exhibitionism, showing yourself off to strangers. People do that. Or it can be a way for people to find out about and explore new fantasies. Some folks just want to orgasm with someone else, even if they’re not together in person. 

And others do it because it’s safer than having real sex, or they’re not ready to have physical sex with their current partner. So it can be a low-stakes way of testing if you’re compatible with a partner without having to touch their genitals first. 

So there are all sorts of reasons why people perform virtual sex. 

Why Are Some People Against ‘Virtual Sex’?

Virtual sex is super popular and well-liked by many, but it’s not without its naysayers. 

So why are some people not on board with doing the digital nasty? 

Well, one reason is that it’s just not for everyone. Virtual sex involves a huge amount of talking, including dirty talk. And that can be awkward or even embarrassing for some people, which means they might not find the idea a turn-on. And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with not liking something. 

Another reason is the cost. Sure, you can sext somebody anywhere in the world with just a smartphone, but for one thing, not everyone has a smartphone. Those aren’t cheap! 

And a phone is just the tip of a pretty costly iceberg. Next thing you know, you can be buying VR headsets, games, consoles, new computers to run the VR headset on, interactive sex toys… the list goes on, and the credit card bill goes up. 

All of this stuff will continue to get cheaper as time wears on, but it’s still a significant investment that some people just don’t want to get involved with. 

The third and probably most frequent reason for not wanting to do virtual sex is the dangers of doing it. 

You might not like the thought of a virtual partner secretly saving and sharing explicit photos you send them, either to keep for themselves (might be creepy) or to share with their friends or post on the internet (super messed up and an actual crime). 

The Benefits of ‘Virtual Sex’

So there are many reasons people have for not wanting it, but what about the other side? What do you have to gain from getting into virtual sex? 

Quite A LOT, actually.

The obvious answer is that it’s more fun than masturbating alone. With virtual sex, you can access a whole ecosystem of exciting things to do with real people (or artificial personalities, if you prefer). 

For many people, all that stuff is a better time than masturbating the old-fashioned way. 

But there are more surprising benefits that you might not think about. 

For example, virtual sex is a godsend to the roughly 4% of Americans currently in a long-distance relationship. Not to mention everyone else worldwide. Virtual sex is a way to stay connected and attracted to your partner even if you can’t be physically together. 

But it doesn’t stop there, and it doesn’t necessarily end when couples can get back together in person, either. 

Several of my friends got into virtual sex during lockdowns over the past couple of years and kept up the practice even as quarantine rules were lifted. 

They found it broadened their horizons, and for some of them, virtual sex was their first foray into exploring new fantasies they hadn’t tried before. So it can be a good experimental tool for testing new ground. 

With virtual sex, you can learn about and practice new horizons that you might be too nervous to try out in the flesh. You can have a virtual threesome, exchange fantasies with other people, and learn new tricks to make yourself better in bed

So there’s a lot to gain from getting horny online. 

The Risks in ‘Virtual Sex’

Virtual sex is a good time, but that doesn’t mean it’s totally safe all the time. There are risks involved, such as: 

Privacy Issues

There’s always the small but still present risk of hackers, scams, data leaks, and even plain old accidents. It’s a serious issue that needs to be considered, and some people just don’t want to put themselves at risk in that way, which is perfectly reasonable. 

Legal Issues

Anonymity is a big part of the internet. Sites like Reddit and 4chan are full of people willing and eager to roleplay and sext. Sounds a bit like a dodgy advert, doesn’t it? 

Not knowing who anyone on these sites helps people come out of their shells and take more bold actions. It’s probably the main reason why they’re willing to have virtual sex in the first place. 

But how do you know how old they are? It’s basically impossible. You can ask, and they can lie. That kind of thing can get you in trouble with the police, which isn’t great.

How To Start? (Solo or With a Partner)

Seen enough? Decided that virtual sex is something you want to get involved with? 

Great! Here’s how to get started, whether you’re venturing forth alone or you already have someone to have fun with in mind.


Sexting means you and a partner or partners texting erotic things to each other in order to create a hot scene to titillate the imagination. 

It can be mild and suggestive or outright filthy – the great thing about it is that it’s entirely up to YOU. 

Make sure you get consent for any images you send or receive, and it’s a good idea to have a talk about what is and is not okay.

Sexting is great if you don’t have a good internet connection or if you or your partner is out in public and you want to tease them. 

It’s a fantastic way to keep fantasies going all day and really get someone ready for action if you’re going to see them later that day. 

And one more thing – it doesn’t have to be two people! You can always get a group chain going for even more erotic fun. 

Hiring a cam star

Camming has exploded in popularity over the last decade or so, and it’s easy to see why it’s so widely appreciated. 

You can hire someone to have video sex with you whenever you want! That’s pretty amazing. 

It’s NOT FREE, of course – they might do free live shows, but to get what you want, you’ll have to pay for it. 

Calling a phone sex operator

Phone sex is like the precursor to video chatting and camming, and while it’s old school, it’s still a lot of fun. 

Calling an operator is a great way to have phone sex even if you don’t have a committed partner. 

Simply call them up and start talking. 

It’s especially fun if you have an active imagination or like dirty talk. If you don’t, then you might prefer something else. 

Watching porn together with VR sex toys

If you have a partner to enjoy virtual sex with, here’s a fun and tech-intensive way to up your game. 

You’ll need VR headsets and compatible sex toys, of course. That can set you back a fair chunk of change, but it’s worth the investment if you plan on doing this a lot. 

If you get a VR headset, teledildonic device (either an automated blowjob machine or a dildo that syncs to porn scripts), and a subscription to some good VR porn (there are limited free options available, too, if you wish), then it’ll set you back $300-400. And double that if there are two of you, obviously. 

You or your partner can choose a video for you both to watch and start using your respective toys. They can sync to the motions you see in the video you’re watching, and because it’s shared between you and your partner, it’s much more intimate than just watching VR porn by yourself. 

It might be the most expensive option, but it’s also one of the most convincing and realistic sex experiences you can have without being in the same room as another human. 

Virtual sex parties

These are exactly what they sound like. A virtual sex party can be a group of people agreeing to attend a group video call to watch each other masturbate live on cam.

This can be a lot of fun to do either alone or with a partner in the house as a way to explore new territory and satisfy any voyeuristic or exhibitionist tendencies you might have. 

Another option is to start playing a virtual sex game. There are loads of them out there, and they keep improving all the time. Many even sync to teledildonic toys for a more realistic experience. 

Porn link swap

A simple way to be naughty with a partner that’s also educational is to swap links to your favorite porn clips. 

This lets you show each other what you’re into, introduce new fantasies or kinks in a non-threatening environment, and it helps you feel more connected to each other’s sexualities. 

It doesn’t even have to be porn. You can swap pics of your favorite stars, whether adult or regular, or hot scenes from your favorite movies, wherever your dirty imagination takes you! 

Sending sexy audio notes

Smartphones can take audio notes and send them via messaging apps. So why not incorporate some sound into the process? 

You can dirty talk, send audio of you moaning while masturbating, or whatever else you can think of. Whatever gets the creative (and other) juices flowing!

Remote-controlled sex toy

Remote control is becoming increasingly popular in sex toys. Companies like Lovense, We-Vibe, and Kiiroo are constantly developing new toys that connect to your phone or other toys from anywhere in the world. 

So you can control your partner’s pleasure, they can control yours, or you can even give the link to a stranger on the internet (temporarily) and let them have some fun with you (remember to stay safe). 

Tips for Safe and Hot Virtual Sex

I know you’re excited to get started, but hang on there, buckaroo! There are a few things to remember before you go gallivanting off into that wild green yonder of 1s and 0s and nudity. 

Set and discuss boundaries

Limits and boundaries are the cornerstones of having a good and safe time. Talk to your partner calmly and rationally before getting more lewd so that everyone is on the same page about what is and is not ok. 

Some things you’ll want to talk about include: 

  • Content and Media: Is it just saucy texts? A few nudes? Are you both willing to video chat with each other and have skype sex? These are things that need to be discussed and agreed on before anyone gets their clothes off. 
  • Likes and Limits: What are you into? What do you like and not like? Where are your limits, and are they soft (you’re not interested but might be open if your partner really wants it) or hard limits (just no, to whatever it is)? Discussing these is important so that no one gets a nasty surprise when their partner talks about or shares a fantasy that disgusts the other. 
  • Sharing with others: You might think it’s assumed that nothing you send to your partner will be shared by them with other people, but it’s better to have an explicit agreement about it. That way, there’s no way they can deny they know it’s wrong if the worst should happen. 

Take safety precautions

It’s usually best to only do any kind of virtual sex with someone you know and trust, preferably someone you have a history with. 

But even then, you never know what exactly will happen. You could break up, or plain accidents can happen. We’ve all heard horror stories of mistakenly sending a nude to the wrong person. 

So here are some top tips for how to keep your virtual persona safer: 

  • Use an app with secure encryption – The best is a properly encrypted service that makes it much harder for people to steal or peek at what you’re sending and receiving. Signal, Telegram, and WhatsApp are three of the best known (although it should be mentioned that WhatsApp is owned by Facebook who, uh, don’t exactly have a great record about user privacy). 
  • Password-lock your photos – If you plan to save anything, then make sure all your photos are stored in secret somewhere with a password lock for which only you know the code. Of course, it’s better to delete it entirely for safety, but password protection is a lot better than nothing. 
  • Don’t show your face or identifying features – It might be tempting to show your sexy face when you’re sending nudes, but it inherently makes the whole thing less safe. Either blur out your face, or better yet, just don’t take a picture of it at all. It’s also a good idea to blur out or not show any distinctive markings you might have, like tattoos or birthmarks. This also goes for your background! Make sure there’s no photo where your degree or school yearbook is visible, for example. People can find out where you live from details like that!
  • Don’t sext drunk/high – Being under the influence of something doesn’t just make you less rational; it also makes you more likely to make a mistake. Most “I accidentally send pictures of my boobs to my great aunt” stories involve substances of some kind. Don’t be that fool.

Set the mood

You wouldn’t have sex in a blank-walled room lit by fluorescent strip lights (unless that’s your thing, in which case, good for you), so don’t expect to feel sexy in a room like that. The same principles apply here as they would for a work Zoom call. Just, you know, different outcomes. 

Get the right lighting. Maybe light some candles, rose petals, massage oil, sexy lingerie – whatever gets you in the right frame of mind. As a general rule, it’s a good idea to use the same framing as you would if you were having sex in person. This will help you feel more at ease and natural, so the novelty of virtual sex is less jarring. 


If your partner is shy, you should help ease them into it. Get them warmed up with some suggestive texts and photos, or whatever your preferred medium is.

Teasing is a vital part of good virtual sex, and it’s also pretty easy. Just give them a taste. It can even be as simple as a few ellipses here and there… 

See? Suggestive. 

Have fun with it

Remember: if laughing ruins the experience, you’re taking it too seriously. Virtual sex takes a lot of communication and honesty, but that doesn’t mean you have to be all solemn about it. 

Laugh about things that went wrong, and talk joyfully about the parts that went right. This keeps everything fun and enjoyable while also giving you both room to improve in the future, which is what a healthy virtual sex life is built on. 


Virtual sex gets a bad rap, but it’s not all doom and gloom. On the contrary, it can be an incredibly fun and fulfilling part of a healthy sex life, both for people in long-distance relationships and just as a way to keep things hot and spicy more of the time. 

So however you do it, remember to stay safe and enjoy yourself! 

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.