Anal Fingering 101: Best Tips & Techniques for All

In this anal fingering guide, you’ll learn all the basics of fingering your partner’s (or your) ass and the best tips and techniques for everyone to try.

Booty pleasure has reached the mainstream and overcame the judgments against it.

Butt play has everything to do with earth-shattering, toe-clenching sexual pleasure. It has zero to do with sexual orientation.

Men and women can enjoy anal play for sure.

If you’re new and curious about anal, one of the best ways to start exploring the backdoor is through anal fingering.

It’s easy, you don’t need extra tools (your fingers are right there!), and it’s just the right size—neither too big nor too small.

With that, we’ll go through the basics of anal fingering and discuss the best tips and techniques for you and your partner to master.


What Is Anal Fingering?

Anal fingering is exactly what you think it is. It’s penetrating the anus using a finger (or fingers) for sexual pleasure.

Couples (man-to-man, man-to-woman, woman-to-woman), regardless of gender, can enjoy anal fingering. Basically, as long as a person has an anus (which is everyone, in case you don’t know), they can do it.

Anal fingering can be sexy foreplay or an introduction to prepare and build for anal sex. Regardless, having it on the menu will surely spice things up in the bedroom.

But it’s not just for partnered play. You can also explore anal fingering on your solo masturbation adventures. Because why not?


The Anatomy Of Anal Sex

Before you poke your finger around your (or your partner’s) backdoor, it’s important to familiarize the anatomy parts. This way, you won’t mistake the anus for the rectum or whatnot, especially when reading how-tos!

There’s definitely more to the body system. But these are the most you’ll interact with for sexual pleasure:

  • Anus: The asshole, literally. It’s the hole at the end of the digestive tract, and it starts at the bottom of the rectum. It’s very sensitive, thanks to the several nerve endings surrounding the skin layers.
  • Rectum: It’s the final part of the digestive system. It’s right above the anus and is not as sensitive.
  • Anal sphincter: This muscular ring keeps your anus tight and close. It can voluntarily contract and relax, but it’s controlled mainly by the human autonomic nervous system.
  • Prostate: A walnut-sized gland between the bladder and the penis and right in front of the rectum. It feels good when stimulated, especially for men. Women don’t have a prostate, but they can still enjoy anal play, thanks to the nerve endings.

Why do people love anal fingering?

The anal opening is pleasurable for people who are into it because of the various nerve endings in these spots. Using your fingers to stimulate them activates those sexy pleasures.

Prostate owners, especially, get a very unique sensation when stimulated. In fact, a prostate-induced orgasm is a thing! It’s also a unique reversal of roles. Men are usually doing the penetrating. But with anal play, they are the ones getting penetrated.

How about for people with no prostate? Well, vagina owners still love and enjoy anal play even when they don’t have a prostate. There are still a lot of nerve endings present. It also introduces a feeling of fullness.

Many women enjoy the feeling of getting all their holes filled. For example, they can have a dildo in their vag while their anus is getting fingered.

Plus, the “taboo” and kinky nature of penetrating or getting penetrated from the back hole adds thrill and spice to the act.


How to bring up anal fingering to your partner

The most important thing here is consent.

Not everyone is up to the idea of being fingered in their butt. It should be a mutual decision.

Never ever be in the middle of doing the deed, and then you suddenly surprise them by inserting your finger into their anus. That could turn them off and even scare them away.

The conversation should happen OUTSIDE of your sexy time. In the heat of the moment, perception and judgment could be muddied.

So how should you start the conversation and open up?

First, be prepared that your partner might say no. And if they do, accept their decision and avoid trying to change their mind. Respect limits and boundaries.

Express that you think it could feel good and it’s something you want to try with them. Your conversation should center on “we” and “us,” not “I” and “me.” Sex is a two-way thing, after all.

Next, be clear. Define who will do the fingering and who will receive the penetration. You should also clearly state and agree that anal fingering is just that: fingers. No penis involved or any other variations.

You might have some sex toys, like vibrating butt plugs, with a similar size and girth to a finger. 


What is the best lube for anal fingering?

The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, unlike the vagina. So even if you’re turned on, it will be dry.

That’s why lubricants are not negotiable. Lubes should be present in anal play.

They help prevent friction that could lead to tearing in the skin, which is painful, by the way. It’s also not safe to have open wounds in this area as it could be a spot for infections to breed.

The best lube for anal fingering is silicone-based lube. It has a high viscosity, is very slippery to use, and doesn’t dry fast.

There are alternatives you may use, like coconut oil. But, as much as possible, it’s best to use lube meant for sexual activities. They have the right ingredients to be used in these sensitive spots, so you won’t worry about potential irritation or allergic reactions.


Hygiene tips for first time anal fingering

You take off your shoes when you walk into someone’s house. You put down your coffee before you enter a museum. When entering the backdoor, there are rules of the trade you should apply as well before going into someone’s A-property.

Clip Your Nails

Something to note

Your nails should be short AND free from sharp, rough, or jagged edges.

The skin in and around the anus is thin. It’s prone to tearing when you poke around it with long claw-like nails. So it’s crucial to prevent any potential tearing as much as possible.

Plus, long nails could have dirt in them. Ew!


Wash your hands

Your hands travel to a lot of different places. It touches a lot of other surfaces. In short, it could hold a lot of bacteria.

The backside is already not free from bacteria. So you wouldn’t want to add more and risk infection. Yikes! 


Never double dip

Double dips are for ice creams. For anal, nope. 

Say you fingered your partner’s anus. Don’t use those hands to finger her vagina. Big NO NO!

Fecal bacteria could get into the urethra, which can cause a urinary tract infection. So if your doctor asks you to be careful when wiping your bum with tissue, you should extend the same courtesy when it comes to fingering.


Best anal fingering tips and techniques

I have gathered the best tips and techniques for anal fingering for you. Not all of them will work, but you can always mix and match. Each anus is different, and each anus enjoys various sensations. So it’s essential to understand what feels good for you and your partner.

1. Right at the edge

Anal fingering doesn’t just mean penetrating the anus.

You can start by placing your finger into the anus and then stroking it over the opening.

You can bend your fingertip until you feel you’re touching an internal border—but not in deep. That’s just the external anal muscle. Gently press and put pressure into the external anal muscle, immediately activating the nerve endings.

Hold that pressure for 5 seconds, then tease the hole every now and then.

At this point, you can try sliding it juuuuust a little bit. You will feel the external anal muscle circle around your fingertip and squeeze on it.

Stop at the first joint of your finger. Give it ample time to relax as you’re in the internal anal sphincter now, and it will be different from the external anal muscle.

The movements should be subtle and gentle. Think of it like your tickling someone’s nose at the tip of your finger. The body will start to ease up and open up a little bit when the receiver has relaxed and gotten used to the sensation.

Not opening up? Don’t force it. You can move to anal massages and try again in the next few minutes. Or cancel it and try again next time. No biggie.


2. Finger Is In

Let’s say your finger successfully got in. With anal play, thrusting in and out is not necessarily the point. The sensations are different, so the techniques are unique as well.

Even with just one finger, you can do so much.

Massage the anus in different directions by keeping your finger stiff and pressed outward. You can also “vibrate” your hand. Basically, just mimic the sensation a vibrator does.

From here on, you can start slooowly sliding your finger and out. Your partner should feel pleasure and begin to relax. 

Depending on how far you are into your explorations, you might introduce another finger. But talk to your partner beforehand, of course.


3. Positions to try

You can do several positions to make anal fingering easier and more accessible for you and your partner.

  • Facedown: Your partner (or the receiver) lies facedown on the bed. You can lie or sit beside them to do the fingering. It’s easy and simple.
  • Bottom on the back: The receiver lies on their back and brings their knees up. Their knees should be at their chest, bum out. You can place a pillow under their lower back to raise the hips. Then, you can sit or kneel down in front of your partner to finger them.
  • Doggy: The receiver goes on all fours, exposing their butt area to you. You can sit or kneel behind them then.

4. Cleanup and aftercare

Cleaning up post-anal fingering isn’t as tedious as you might have expected.

You just wash your hands and toys, if you use any, with warm water and soap.

It’s normal for your anus and butt muscles to feel sore or tender after.

Of course, it can go away on its own, but soaking in a warm bath with Epsom salt does an excellent job of relaxing the muscles.


5. Be ready for poop

If you’re squeamish about poop, then you probably shouldn’t be experimenting with anal fingering in the first place.

Also, it’s pretty rare for poop to appear during anal play. Poop is quite high up in the rectum. The finger is usually not capable of reaching that high up where the poop is unless maybe you’ve got really loooong fingers.

It’s also normal to get the sensation that you’re pooping (for the person receiving the anal fingering) as you’re stimulating the same nerves touched when pooping. But swear, it’s not poop.

Now, what if a poop does make a cameo? Well, no biggie. Just have some wet wipes ready or easily wash it with soap and water. Next!


6. Funky smell

Your butt won’t smell like flowers and fresh linen, even if it’s so fresh and clean. It’s natural for it to have some smell. Each person has their own unique essence.

So you might sniff your finger and sense something smelling weird; that’s okay. If the smell really offends you, you can use body-safe wipes or soap.

You may also consider using finger cots. These are made of nitrile or latex to make cleaning up easy and provide easy glide.


7. Clean booty

For the person who’s getting fingered, it’s also better to make sure the anus is clean, just in case.

There aren’t crazy steps as well. Just do some bowel movements in the past hour before you start exploring the backdoor.

For more intense sessions, especially when using multiple fingers, you can do a thorough cleaning by using an enema, douche, or shower house.


Moving from anal fingering to anal sex

Anal fingering is perfect on its own for anal play and foreplay. But if you want to graduate to anal sex, you can definitely do so.

Start by adding more fingers. Once your partner is ready for another finger, insert one more. Then two. Using three fingers can be your limit.

You can also use sex toys for anal use to start sizing up.

Something to note

There are specific toys meant for anal play—toys with flared bases.

The anal sphincter would try to close up when you insert something in it, and that flared base would anchor the toy outside of the body, so it doesn’t get sucked in.

As we mentioned before, this shouldn’t be a conversation that comes up while you’re in bed. Instead, it should be defined how far you’ll go in anal play before you do anything.


Conclusion

Anal fingering is A-ma-zing! You can do it yourself, but it’s double the fun with a partner.

Bonus: It could lead to sheet-twisting, toe-curling, earth-shattering anal orgasms. So what are you waiting for?

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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