Top 10 Cunnilingus Techniques and Tips for Men

In this how-to guide for men, we share 10 expert-approved cunnilingus techniques, so you become an oral sex god and give your woman the heavenly Os she deserves. Read on:

Hey, do you wanna know a secret?

Most women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone!

Crazy, right?

It’s not that they don’t enjoy penetrative sex (from what I’ve heard, it’s actually the opposite). It’s just that the female body is BUILT differently, so their arousal works differently, too.

That’s why adding some external (most often clitoral) stimulation is more likely to get your lady that big O. And what better way to stimulate your girl than going down on her? 

A great lover is prepared, so in this article, I’ll teach you a few things about cunnilingus and share some tips on how to excel at it!

If you’re looking for more cunnilingus tips and techniques though, better check out Beducated! If you want to know more about the legitimacy of Beducated, check out our Beducated review!

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About Men NOT Giving Head

For some bizarre reason, there is a sort of stigma around men performing oral sex.

Honestly, the notion that it’s somehow not manly is beyond me. I’m pretty sure the vast majority of women also disagree with such a ridiculous statement. It’s an example of twisted perception of what manliness is. 

Other men might be a bit squeamish – the vulva has its own smell, taste, and texture.

But, to be fair, the same goes for penises, so keep that in mind, especially if your partner already goes down on you. 

Luckily, if your girl maintains good hygiene and is STD-free, you have NOTHING to worry about.

However, if you feel uncomfortable or are unsure of your partner’s health status, you can always use a dental dam for protection. If you don’t have a dental dam, you can DIY a replacement – slice a condom in half or cut some material from a latex glove. 

You may just be avoiding giving oral because you’re worried that you’re not good at it.

That’s why you’re reading the article, after all. I assure you cunnilingus isn’t as tricky as it looks. You just need to learn a few basics, which I will get to in a minute. 

What if you still just don’t like the idea of giving oral?  THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE!

Sex should be enjoyable for BOTH parties. No one should be forced to do anything they’re uncomfortable with. Be open and direct with your partner about this.

Still, I’d advise you to keep your mind open.

You might feel differently about cunnilingus after educating yourself. Or you might just decide you want to try it out in the future. As long as it’s your own decision and you’re not pressured into doing it, I’m sure you’ll have a blast! 

What if the girl doesn’t want you to go down on her? 

There could be a lot of reasons for this. She might be extra sensitive, she might be self-conscious about something, or she might just be uncomfortable with the idea.

Respect her boundaries and don’t push them. 

HOWEVER.

It will be a shame if your partner misses out on pleasure because of body image issues. Let your girl know that she doesn’t have to feel self-conscious about her privates’ taste, smell, or form. 

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The Basics

Let’s get back to the art of cunnilingus.

First of all, here are some basic things you need to know:

Learn About Women’s Anatomy 

Female privates are a tad bit more complex than male ones. You should know where everything is and which parts are more sensitive than others. 

The outermost organ is the VULVA. It contains the labia, the clitoris, the vagina, and the urethra. 

THE VAGINA is the opening to the internal part of the female sex organ, located at the very bottom of the vulva. If you trace the LABIA with your fingers from the vagina up, at the top where the lips meet, you’ll find the CLITORIS, protected by the lips and clitoral hood. 

Actually, that sweet spot is just the clitoral glans. There is a lot more to the clitoris – women have a whole CLITORAL NETWORK, but most of its parts are hidden inside the female body.

The G-SPOT is part of this network – it’s a very sensitive spongy area on the front wall of the vagina, about 3 inches deep, right by the clitoral roots. The G-spot is the reason behind most penetrative orgasms, and you can stimulate it with your fingers or a toy during cunnilingus. 

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Keep Clean And Safe

The female genitalia is very sensitive and can get infected and irritated easily, so good hygiene is very important. 

Wash your teeth. Make sure your gums aren’t bleeding, and you don’t have any open sores in your mouth. Otherwise, the risk of transmitting bacteria or getting infected with something (not just STIs) is VERY high. 

You’ll be using your fingers, not just your mouth. ALWAYS wash your hands and file your nails before going down on your partner. Make sure your nails don’t have any sharp edges, which can cause harm to the vaginal tissue. 

Again, if you’re not sure about your or your partner’s health status, use a dental dam.

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Get Comfortable

Making a woman orgasm takes LONGER than making a guy orgasm. That means you’re going to be performing oral for some time. Find a comfortable position for you, so you don’t get tired quickly. 

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Every Woman Is Different 

Privates have a distinct smell, and they will vary from person to person. Therefore, every woman will likely also TASTE differently.

As long as it’s not a very strong foul smell that indicates infection, it’s completely normal if your current partner smells and tastes different from your last one. 

Some women shave down there, some trim, and some let their hair grow.

Don’t make a big deal out of some pubic hair. It’s ok to have preferences but know that pussies are NOT dirty just because they have some hair on them.

If you get hair in your mouth, just remove it. Commenting on your girl’s grooming choices will just ruin the fun. 

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Top 10 Cunnilingus Tips

If you understood and remembered ALL of the basics, it’s time I told you about some techniques you can try out. I’ve tried them all and am quite happy with the results – or rather, my partners are. Let’s get to it: 

1. Start Slowly

Build-up and tension are the keys to toe-curling orgasms. Women require some time to get adequately aroused, so it’s good to take your time and move at their pace. 

Don’t just go directly for what’s in her pants. FOREPLAY is essential for a satisfying sexual experience. Starting with some kissing is always a good idea. 

Kiss her lips, kiss, and nibble on her neck and earlobes, run your fingers through her hair, caress her breasts, back, waist, squeeze her butt… Target all her sweet spots EXCEPT her genital area. 

A back massage is also a nice way to get things started. It’s both relaxing AND sexy.

Foot massages are also a great idea. But, again, making your girl feel as relaxed as possible will help her achieve climax faster and easier. 

Tease her before you get to the “main course.” Kiss close to her pussy, without touching it. Then, go for the lower part of her belly and inner thighs.

While you’re teasing your partner, blood will flow to the genitals, making them more sensitive and receptive to sexual touch. This means when you finally put your mouth there, your girl will feel a lot more pleasure. 

Take your time! 

Consider checking out our best sex tips for men guide to take your game to a new level.  

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2. Circle Around The Clitoris

We’re not done with the teasing and warm-up. Use your tongue on her labia and even vagina before going for the clit. 

After all, the clitoral glans is the most sensitive part of the vulva. So if you attack it right away, you don’t have room for build-up! Also, trying to stimulate it too soon can feel jarring and unpleasant because it’s so sensitive.

Suck on her labia gently. You can even try nibbling on very carefully – some girls adore that. Just make sure to ASK first. Keep your tongue flat and lick from the vagina up, but stop at the clit. You can even use your tongue for some shallow penetration.

If you want to spread her labia with something, that something could be a pussy spreader!

Pay attention to her body language. For example, if she starts thrusting her hips or guides you to her clit, it’s time to play with her most sensitive spot. 

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3. Talk

Paying attention to body language is essential, but the more direct approach of just talking about what you both need and like is also a pretty nice idea. And it’s also very sexy! 

The girl isn’t having a good time, and the guy isn’t learning anything new and gets a cramp in his neck for nothing. 

Following directions on what you should and shouldn’t do won’t only make things way easier for you, but it will make the whole experience so much more enjoyable for your girl. Bit only that – it makes her achieving climax much more plausible. 

If you want her to tell you what she wants, you have to start the conversation.

Ask her what feels good, if your speed and pressure work for her, if you’re in the right place. Every woman has a different taste when it comes to her own pleasure. A few quick questions can take the guesswork out of the scenario.

Wanting instructions is also a great excuse for some dirty talk.  This can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

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4. Experiment 

Use different strokes until you find out what works for your partner. Keep in mind that what worked with the same partner last time might not work this time, so be prepared to change things up.

Tongue-flicks and kisses all over her labia and clit are a great way to find out what your girl is in the mood for.

Change up your speed and pressure as well as the position of your tongue. A flat soft tongue delivers different kinds of sensations than a stiff one.

Be careful with stimulating the clit directly – it might cause paint to your girl. You can stimulate it through the clitoral hood if direct contact is too intense for your partner. 

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5. Find A Rhythm

Trying out different things works in the beginning, but after a while, you have to find the rhythm that works best for your girl at the moment. Orgasms for women are highly dependent on a steady pace and pressure.

Most guys tend to go faster as their partner approaches climax because that’s how their own orgasm works. But it’s different with women – changing up what you’re doing just before the moment of the big O will most likely ruin things.

Be extra mindful to keep your pace as your girl approaches the finish line (even though you’re probably getting more and more turned on)

Keep going AS YOUR PARTNER CUMS. This will give them some truly intense sensations. Go faster ONLY IF your girl indicates she wants more speed! 

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6. Penetration Is A Nice Bonus

Indeed, a lot of women can’t orgasm from penetration… I mean, they can’t orgasm ONLY from penetration. 

But combine that with oral sex, and WOW. 

Just slip one or two fingers in your lady while your mouth is on her clit. You can also use a toy (more on that in a bit).

To find the G-spot, insert one or two fingers in the vagina. They should be slightly curved towards the belly/the front wall of the vagina. About 3 inches deep, you’ll feel a spongy spot. That’s it! 

Since the area is very sensitive, your girl will most likely react when you find it. 

Slowly make a come hither motion to stimulate her G-spot. Apply even, steady pressure, and see if she likes it. Combine it with a rhythmic licking of the clit for truly MIND-BLOWING orgasms.

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7. Explore Different Positions

There is more than one position for going down on your lady. The different angles provide slightly different sensations. 

The most popular position is when your girl lays on her back.

It’s basically the missionary position, but your face is between her legs. This position lets her relax and gives you access to all of her parts you would like to stimulate – clit, vagina, perineum, anus… Penetrating her with fingers or toys is also easy. In addition, this position allows eye contact, which can be very arousing. 

Another option is for you to lay on your back while she straddles your face.

This position is the least tiring for your neck. It also allows you to penetrate her vagina with your tongue more deeply. Last but not least, it puts her in control – she can grind on your tongue in her own rhythm and position herself in a way that allows you to target her sweet spots.

You can also perform oral from behind. The girl is on all fours, which opens up the vagina and allows for deeper penetration. You also have better access to her anus if you and your girl are into some rimming action.

Performing cunnilingus while she’s standing is also an exciting option. She stands with her legs slightly apart, and you get down on YOUR knees for a change. Putting your lady in a dominant position like this can be very arousing, especially if you don’t explore this type of power dynamic often. Give it a try!

We’ve made an article on the best pussy eating sex position that you can check.

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8. Show Your Enjoyment

There is no bigger turn-on than a partner that WANTS to make you feel good. 

We’ve all heard the myth that going down on a girl is somehow emasculating. I strongly suspect this rumor was started by a dude who sucks at giving head and is self-conscious about it. He should read this article and chill. 

The truth is, women love nothing more than a devoted lover, and enjoying pleasuring them in all sorts of ways is part of that. 

That said, when you go down on your partner, you should show that you’re also having a good time. And I’m sure you’ll be having an AWESOME time because what’s better than seeing your girl squirm with pleasure because of your skills.

Tell her how hot she looks when she’s turned on, compliment her on how she tastes, and be enthusiastic about what you’re doing. If you’re not – you shouldn’t be doing it at all. 

You can even touch yourself while you’re going down on her so she can see how turned on this is making you. 

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9.  Toys Are Great! 

I understand that some men feel emasculated by toys – they might feel as if they’re not good enough for their partner. But I assure you – no sex toy can replace a human being. They don’t provide any of the intimacy a real person can give you. TOYS ARE TOOLS! And it would be smart if you make the most use of them.

After a while, performing cunnilingus might get tiring – especially if your partner needs more time to get to the finish line. Your neck and back might start to hurt, and your fingers and tongue. Toys will give you a break. 

Also, toys provide a different and more intense experience when you combine them with oral sex. So if you want to kick things up a notch, this is the perfect way to do it.

But what kinds of toys should you use? 

There are so many toys on the market today that you might feel overwhelmed. You’re in luck. I just so happen to be an expert in sex toys and have some suggestions for you! 

First, let’s go over some SEX TOY BASICS. There are a few important things you need to know before buying anything. You don’t want to get something dangerous for your and your partner’s health or something that’ll ruin the experience in other ways, do you?

• Make sure female toys (especially penetrative ones) are made out of silicone. Never go for something like jelly. ABS plastic is body-safe and acceptable. TPE is also body-safe but porous, which makes it hard to clean.  Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous, so it can be disinfected, which is a huge plus. The female genitalia is VERY sensitive and can get irritated quickly. 
• If it is SURPRISINGLY cheap and you can’t believe you found a deal like that – it’s probably a scam or just a very faulty product. The cheapest toys are often made of harmful materials, break easily, or just don’t feel good in the first place.
• Amazon isn’t the place to buy sex toys. They have no way to monitor such a large inventory, and it’s very easy for you to get scammed and receive a cheap knockoff instead of the advertised product. 

Stick with trusted vendors and shops specialized in sex toys and sexual wellness products. My personal favorites are SheVibe, Lovehoney, and Peepshow Toys. But, of course, you can also buy directly from the manufacturer – virtually all quality brands have their own online stores. 

• There are many options for powering your toys, but I personally recommend buying rechargeable ones. Overall, they’re quieter (no batteries are rattling inside) and better for the environment (you don’t have to buy batteries all the time and throw away the old ones).

Now, on to the toys that you can incorporate into oral sex. 

There are a lot of options here. I recommend you have a penetrative toy to stimulate your girl internally while your tongue is on her clit. It would be even more awesome if you get a G-spot vibrator so you can hit both of her go-spots. 

Another option is to get a bullet vibrator. They are versatile and can be used everywhere on the body.

If your tongue and neck get tired, but she wants more oral action, you can get a clit sucker that imitates the feeling of oral sex while you take a quick break.

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One of my favorite toys that you can use during cunnilingus is the Lovense Osci 2! It’s a VERY INNOVATIVE G-spot vibrator. The oscillating tip delivers strong rumbly vibrations RIGHT on the G-spot! You can also control it through the Lovense app, which provides endless vibration mode options.

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A nice bullet-vibe product is Tango X by We-Vibe. It has everything – it’s rechargeable, waterproof, and offers 120 minutes of play on a single charge. Also, it has 7 vibration modes, each with 8 levels of intensity, so you can fully customize your play. With it, you can stimulate every erogenous zone you can think of. You can even use it for some shallow penetration. 

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True, it’s not the cheapest option out there, but it’s also not the most expensive pick. And you can be sure it’ll last you a long time.

If you need a bullet vibrator on a budget, consider the Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator. It’s great for beginners who want to try out something basic but fun. This bullet is quiet, waterproof, and has one constant vibration speed.

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As for “clit suckers,” – they don’t actually suck the clitoris but mimic the sensation quite well! They stimulate the clit by using controlled airflow. 

The We-Vibe Melt is a clit sucker that most successfully mimics oral sex. So if you’re tongue starts to get tired – this would be the best alternative while you rest.  It comes with an app to create your own stimulation patterns.

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If you want to buy something more affordable, go for Satisfyer Pro 3. It combines BOTH vibrations and air-pulse stimulation.

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10. Practice Makes Perfect

These tips will surely put you on the right track, but you have to COMMUNICATE with your partner to become a cunnilingus sexpert. Be open to your partner’s suggestions, and try not to get offended as someone criticizes you. After all, sex shouldn’t be about ego but mutual pleasure. 

Sometimes you’ll hit the jackpot on your first time, but that’s not a given. Most couples need a while to get in tune with one another. That’s perfectly normal.

So if you really want to be the best at cunnilingus, your only journey to success is doing it A LOT. That sounds like the best kind of practice, even if you ask me!

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Conclusion

See, oral sex is a bit tricky, but with these tips and a lot of communication with your partner, you’ll master it in no time! 

Cunnilingus is something you can always improve upon, so try all of the tips here and make them your own. I’m sure you’ll figure out ways to improve upon them once you get the basics. 

All that’s left is for you to surprise your girl with what you learned today.

If you want to learn more, check out the Cunnilingus course from Beducated! If you want to learn more about this sexual education program, check out our Beducated review!