If you think you know how to find the clitoris, you might want to think again. There’s more to the clit than meets the eye. And you’ll learn all about it here.
You may have heard about it by now, but the “clitoris,” you know, is just the tip of the iceberg.
There is so much more to the clit than what’s visible to the eyes.
Getting yourself familiar with this CRUCIAL spot is essential because it’s a source of immense pleasure for vulva owners. It’s nicknamed the “pleasure nub” for a reason.
What’s a clitoris? What is it not? How can you find it, exactly? And how should you stimulate it? We’ll answer all your questions.
Table of Contents
What is the clitoris?
The clitoris, or clit, is a body part that has the densest nerve endings per square inch in the female body.
It’s an important structure, yes. But what makes the clit quirky is that it has no biological function whatsoever.
Its sole reason for existing? Pleasure.
And it might not sound “important” on paper, but pleasure plays a vital role in procreation. So it’s an important body part in the grand scale of things.
Where is the clit?
Glad you’re asking.
Did you know A LOT of men don’t know where or what a clitoris is? This study revealed that 31% out of 2,000 participants don’t know or can’t label what it is.
Tragedy. Imagine how much better sex everyone would have if more people were more educated about the female anatomy. Anyways…
The clit is located at the apex of a woman’s labia.
It’s a pea-shaped structure you can see on your partner’s bits, right above the urethra.
Well, the external portion of the clitoris, at least.
Yep, there IS an internal part. And it’s so much bigger than you might have imagined.
A Clit Diagram: Finding the Clitoris
Let’s get into the nitty-gritty on how to find the clitoris using a clit diagram.
How to find the clit
To help you locate it visually, check out our clit diagram.
Outside the body
The glans of the clit is usually covered by the clitoral hood. Usually, because the look of the vulva varies from woman to woman.
But you can see it together with the labia minora and vaginal opening.
Inside the body
Inside, a female’s clitoris is like a whole hidden structure.
In its entirety, the clit has a wishbone shape. You can’t see the majority of it because it’s tucked internally.
It has legs, called the crura, and vestibular bulbs wrapping around the vagina. When a woman is sexually aroused, these legs and bulbs’ erectile tissue expands.
The Clit Anatomy
Learning every part of the clitoris is essential to get the full picture and access all its “features.” The clit anatomy has:
- Glans clitoris: The external nub. This is the “clit” that you know with the size of a pea. It’s located above the urethra. Small but mighty, this “tiny” button activates thousands of nerve endings.
- Clitoral hood: Keeps the glans clitoris tucked in. It’s formed from the labia minora. When aroused, the clitoral hood retracts and exposes the glans—allowing you to stimulate it. *wink*
- Clitoral body: Now we’re going internal. The glans connects to the clitoral body and projects upwards into a woman’s pelvis. A ligament suspends it from the pubic bone.
- Paired crura: The two appendages or legs of the clitoral body. They straddle the urethra and vaginal canal. When a woman is aroused, they expand with blood (like a boner!).
- Vestibular bulbs: An upside-down heart-shaped part that straddles the urethra and vaginal canal behind the crura. And like crura, it also swells when a woman is turned on. These bulbs are quite large—reaching the labia, vaginal canal, and anus.
The crura and the bulbs swell with blood when a woman is aroused because it contains erectile tissue. It expands on either side of the vagina and heightens the sensations. They also increase the lubrication in the vagina, essentially making a woman “wet.”
Clit is a small penis?
In short, nope.
There are anatomical similarities, sure.
But their functions and the way you stimulate them are different. With your penis, you stroke it and masturbate it externally. With a clit, you should also stimulate it internally, not just outside the body.
How to stimulate the clitoris
1. Communicate with your partner
Always start by communicating with your partner.
Don’t be shy about asking her what her desires are, what feels good to her, and what doesn’t. No one knows her body better than herself.
If you don’t know where to start, be supportive and positive so that she doesn’t feel pressured with her answers. For example, you can demonstrate the sensations to her before you try it during sex and ask for her feedback if she likes it or not.
2. Start gently
Don’t rush. Give her body enough time to warm up.
Never dive into her clit. It’s a sensitive spot, so applying direct contact when it’s not ready would feel unpleasant.
Friction can also feel uncomfortable, especially with a dry finger. Always use lube. And lots of it, so your finger pad just slides and glides with ease.
And don’t forget to trim your nails and wash your hands before poking around her vulva.
3. Add a sex toy
Some women find having an orgasm difficult, especially with just using the hands or through P-in-V. In this case, using sex toys can help. And even if you do not “need” it, incorporating a sex toy during couple play adds sugar, spice, and everything nice.
The best sex toy for clitoral stimulation is vibrators. The vibrations offered by vibrators are something no human body can. The Lelo Sona 2 Cruise is a really good vibrator because it uses sonic waves instead of direct clit contact.
A usual go-to is also the Magic Wand. It’s quite big to be used in couple play, but its rumbly vibrations and easy-to-hold handle make using it feasible. This cordless version is also helpful, so you don’t get tangled with the wire.
4. Try a variety of techniques
You can stimulate the clitoris using various techniques, each one eliciting different responses. Here are some examples:
- Rubbing: Slide your finger, toy, or hand up and down or back and forth across the clitoris or clitoral hood.
- Tapping: Tap the clit and clitoral hold slowly. You can then increase speed, depending on your partner’s instructions.
- Grinding: Hands-free stimulation. Your partner can grind her pelvis on your body, hands, or other surfaces like a pillow.
- Pinching: With your two fingers in a peace sign, pinch the clitoral hood and tug it up and down—gently. You may also slide your fingers back and forth.
- Going in circles: Slowly trace circles around the clit and hood. You can also touch her labia.
- Penetrating: Of course, penetrating the vagina INSIDE will feel good as you can stimulate the internal structures of the clitoris this way.
5. Explore sex positions
Penetrative sex can make a woman orgasm because of the various stimulations happening simultaneously. And as we mentioned, the clitoris has internal structures inside the vagina. So thrusting in and out of her vaginal canal will also light up these pleasure hotspots.
Meanwhile, you shouldn’t just ignore the little external nub. Here are some of the best sex positions that give focus to the clit as well:
- Missionary: It’s a tried-and-true sex position. The woman can grind her pelvis against you to stimulate her clit.
- Cowgirl: A position that doesn’t need your hands to play with clit. Instead of going up and down, she should grind her pelvis back and forth against your body.
- Reverse cowgirl: So, girl-on-top, but she’s facing away. One of your knees is bent, and she rubs her clit against that thigh.
- Doggy: She’s on all fours. It’s great for G-spot stimulation as well, and she (or you) can reach over her clit and stimulate it.
- Butt lift: This position is like a missionary, but her ankles are on your shoulders. Her butt is lifted in the air. Doing this position gives a lot of access to clitoral stimulation with your hand or toy.
The clit is a small but MIGHTY button, at least on the outside. And stimulating it internally and externally unlocks a whole world of orgasms.
There’s no one-size-fits-all technique for it, like many sexual activities and pleasures. But learning what feels good for you and your partner is surely a fun journey.