How to Rub Her Clit Good: Best Clitoral Stimulation Tips

Make your girl feel good by knowing how to rub her clit right. We’ll share some clit rubbing techniques plus extra tips that you can practice in bed right now.

Do you know what’s hard to do? Pleasuring a part of the body that not only you don’t have but is hard to find and also often HYPER sensitive.

Yes, I’m talking about clitoral stimulation. The most basic kind actually – rubbing your girl’s clit with your fingers.

Clit rubbing seems so beginner-friendly. It’s something most of us guys engaged in before we ever had full-on sex …. and something most of us failed miserably at.  

So much for beginner-friendly, huh? 

Honestly, it’s objectively very hard to get right, even after you’re no longer a newbie to sexual encounters. But it’s not impossible! 

If you’re having a hard time getting clit rubbing right or aren’t sure if what you’re doing works, this guide is just for you! 

We’re going to take a look at the anatomy and position of the clitoris and how it works. Then we’re going to explore a few techniques that you could use to improve your skills. Plus, some extra tips here and there. 

I prepared this article with the help of female colleagues and friends, so rest assured you’re getting the info straight from the source! 


What Is Clitoral Stimulation Anyway?

As you might have guessed, clitoral stimulation is sexually stimulating someone by touching their clitoris – rubbing, tapping, licking, or whatever else they enjoy. 

Studies have shown that many women (dare I say – MOST women) cannot climax from penetration alone. So, as a general rule, clitoral stimulation is more likely to get your girl that big O. 

That’s why clitoral stimulation is such an important part of sex for gals. And that’s why it’s essential for you to get the hang of rubbing that clit just right. 

Believe it or not, it’s not as difficult as it seems! At least after you learn a few basic things about the clitoris. So let’s begin.

Before we move on to the juicier parts, watch this video from School of Squirt to learn how to tease and give her the best orgasm of her life. Fair warning, you might get very, very wet in the process.


Anatomy of a Clitoris

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female genitalia. This is because it has a huge amount of nerve endings, even more than the head of the penis. That means you have to play with it gently – those nerve endings can give your girl immense pleasure, but that can quickly go into painful territory if you’re too rough.

If you’re inexperienced (or even if you’re not), you might have a bit of a tough time finding the clitoris. The area you are looking to stimulate is very small, so you can miss the sweet spot even if you’re just an inch off.

Before we locate it, I have to tell you that the anatomy of the clitoris is more complex than you probably think. It’s not just a nub. It’s composed of a glans, a shaft, inner roots… Most of its parts are inside the body, so you don’t see them. But those parts can still be stimulated – you just have to know where to touch them. 

Let’s start

Use your fingers to trace the labia. At the bottom, you’ll find the vaginal opening, and then you’ll pass by the urethra. At the top of the vulva, where the labia lips meet, you’ll find:

The Clitoral Glans

This is what most people refer to as the clitoris. It looks like a nub, protected by the clitoral hood.  You can feel it under your fingers, and if you spread the lips a little, you’ll also be able to see it. 

Every woman’s body is different, so the clitoral glans can also vary in shape, size, or color. When a woman is aroused, the genitalia feels up with blood (just like it happens to guys), and the glans might grow in size very slightly. 

Something to note

This part of the clitoris has the most nerve endings, and it’s where you should focus most of your action.


The Clitoral Shaft  

The clitoral shaft is hidden inside the female body, but you can feel it under your fingers if you press gently just above the glans. It will feel like a small cord. It may not be as sensitive as the glans, but rubbing it should still feel pleasurable for most women. In addition, you can explore ways to stimulate it.


The Roots

The clitoral roots are inside the female body – deeper than the shaft. Then is it possible to stimulate them?

Yes, it is. You just have to put your fingers inside the vagina and apply pressure to the front wall. You might feel a difference in the texture. About 3 inches in, you will probably find a spongy area. 

That’s the G-spot!

Yes, the G-spot is basically part of the clitoris. 

The G-spot is also very sensitive and is one of the main reasons behind the vaginal orgasm. Actually, because it is a part of the clitoral network, many people speculate that vaginal orgasms don’t exist and all female orgasms are clitoral… but that’s a discussion for another time. 

The main takeaway here is – stimulating the clitoral roots will probably also be very pleasurable for your lady. Keep that in mind! 


How to Stimulate the Clitoris

Now that you know where all the sweet spots are located, it’s time to talk about techniques to get your partner that toe-curling climax she’s been craving. 

Lube up

When a woman is turned on, she will most likely produce some natural lubricant in the form of vaginal discharge. 

Clitoral stimulation increases the amount of vaginal fluids because the body is getting ready for penetrative sex. 

That’s another way stimulating the clit properly will better your sexual experience. Not only Is it AWESOME on its own, but it will also make penetration smoother, easier, and more pleasurable. 

That said, the wetter – the better. Sometimes you’ll need a bit more lube, especially at the beginning. In any case, it won’t hurt.  This is why I recommend you start with some synthetic lubricant on your fingers.

There are so many types of lube to choose from you’ll never run out of options. They differ in ingredients, scents, flavors, effects, price, etc. 

The most important thing to think about is the base.  There are water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lubricants. 

  • Silicone-based lube is more durable, and some say it gives you a smoother feeling. It’s good for sensitive skin and sex play in the shower. However, it isn’t compatible with silicone sex toys – the material will “melt” and deform. 
  • Oil-based lubes are long-lasting. You can even use some skin-safe oils like olive oil or coconut oil if you prefer going for something natural. That said, oils and oil-based lubricants may break down latex condoms.

    So if that’s your contraception of choice, you better steer clear of these types of lubes. They might also be bad for some types of sex toys, so keep that in mind. 
  • Water-based lube is the most versatile type of lube and a good choice for any situation.It’s compatible with virtually all kinds of sex toys and condoms. It’s also available everywhere, even in basic drug stores or supermarkets.

If you’re not sure what to buy, water-based lube will always be a safe bet. It may dry out a bit faster than the others, but you can always add more.

There are also other things to keep in mind when choosing a lubricant. 

There are lubes with different scents and even flavors. Consider getting something both you and your partner will enjoy – smells can also be sexy and arousing! 

Some lubricants have different effects on your skin. There are cooling ones, warming ones, tingling ones, and ones that delay your climax by making you numb. 

That last one is, for OBVIOUS reasons, not really what you have to look for when it comes to clit rubbing. However, those other ones might add an extra layer of stimulation. 

Experiment with different kinds of lubes to find out what works best for you and your girl! Just make sure there aren’t any mishaps like melted toys or broken condoms.  

You may also want to consider checking out our lube guide for more details.


And now on to the techniques:

Rub It

Here is something classic and simple yet highly effective – stimulating the clitoris with a  rubbing motion.

  • Just rub the clit up and down or side to side. You can use one finger, several fingers, or your whole hand. You can even try and use your knuckles for a firmer sensation. Make sure to change up speed and pressure.
  • Communication is key! Pay attention to your partner’s body language. Are they into what you’re doing? Are you going too hard or not hard enough? 

If they’re relaxed and moaning, that’s a good sign. On the other hand, you might be a bit rough if they’re squirming. 

Keep in mind you DON’T have to rub the clit DIRECTLY!

Some girls might enjoy that, especially if your fingers are lubed up, but many might find this overstimulating or even painful. So instead, consider stimulation through the labia lips or even the panties.

If you’re unsure of anything – ask her! After all, the goal is to get her that big O! 


Tap It

If your gal is not a fan of constant and direct contact with her clit, you can switch up rubbing for tapping.

Gently tap the clitoris with your index and middle fingers. Play around with speed, intensity, and rhythm. 

If she is close to cumming, the tap could be a great edging technique as well! This way, you can delay her orgasm and continue the stimulation. You can build up the tension several times before making her finish. Then, just switch to tapping whenever she’s just on the verge of climax to pull her back.

Teasing could be very arousing for both you and your partner. Also, delayed orgasms tend to be stronger!


Pinch It

The pinch is, as you may suspect, pinching the clit. LIGHTLY!

Gently hold the clitoral glans between your fingertips and lightly squeeze.  Be careful not to go overboard – you don’t want to hurt your partner! 

If you want to do something even more intense, try adding a slight rolling motion just before the pinch. For example, slightly roll the clitoris back and forth between your fingertips without going too far in one direction.

This technique is a bit risky and one your partner will probably not be used to, so talk about it with her beforehand. Be gentle and pay attention to her body’s response to the pinch. This might become her new favorite move if she’s not overly sensitive!  


Flick It

If you think the name sounds aggressive, you’re right.

This technique can be painful IF DONE INCORRECTLY.

But that’s what this article is for – to help you avoid such mishaps.  The click will bring your girl very intense but pleasurable sensations if done right

Use a flicking motion to stimulate the clitoris. Change the angle at which you do it and explore what works best. Make sure the clit and your fingers are lubed to avoid pain. Keep your intensity in check – flick lightly. 

The clitoral glans has more and less sensitive areas. Often one side is more sensitive than the other, and it differs for each woman. Keep that in mind while exploring the flick. 

You can also combine this technique with going down on your lady. Switch between licking and flicking for a variety of sensations. 


The Orbit

Remember that the clitoris has a complex anatomy, and a lot of it is hidden inside the female body? 

Of course, you do. We JUST talked about it. Unless you’re a goldfish, which would be both fascinating and super weird for a plethora of reasons, and your capacity to remember stuff is the least of my concerns.

So here is a technique for you to stimulate the hidden parts of the clitoral network with an orbital motion.

Place your hand just above the vulva – on her pubic mound. Keep your fingertips governing above her clitoral glans. Slowly move your fingers in a circle around the perimeter of the glans. Keep a distance of about 2 inches. 

Change between walking your fingers, gliding in a circular motion, and tapping them around the perimeter.

Decrease and increase the perimeter to tease her. Start from afar, get closer to the glans, and then pull away.  This way, you’re not only stimulating the hidden parts of the clit (like the shaft) but incorporating some edge play too.


The Vibe

Vibrators are a girl’s best friend …  so why not mimic their moves? 

Place your hand on your girl’s pubic mound with your fingers hovering over her clit. Then, start tapping with your index finger. Increase the speed and decrease the height at which you lift your finger. 

Do this until the distance between your finger and the clit is nonexistent. It will resemble vibrations

Of course, this technique can not be performed for long, but it’s a great finishing move – just when she’s about to climax. 

Speaking of which…


What To Do While She Climaxes

Yay, we’re at the orgasm part! My favorite. 

It’s awesome you used the techniques successfully and got your girl to cum, but you aren’t done yet! The pro move is to carry her THROUGH the climax.

You can stop all you’re doing, but that will probably make her orgasm less intense, so I don’t recommend it. It can also cut her orgasm short.

You can keep doing EXACTLY what you were doing moments before she climaxed. Keep the SAME speed and pressure. Many girls love that, and it’s the most popular technique. 

Something to note

Just be sure to stop when the orgasm is over because the clit becomes overly sensitive right after climax, just like the penis. 

There is also a third option – applying direct pressure to the clitoris. That way, you can prolong the pleasure without risking going overboard and causing pain. Just place your thumb or index/middle finger on her clit and push down firmly as she cums.


The Best Clit Rubbing Sex Positions

Clitoral stimulation is great on its own, but it’s also a bomb addition to many sex positions. Combining external with internal stimulation is a favorite of many women, including girlfriends I’ve had.

Here are some suggestions for positions you could try out: 

Cowgirl

A classic one – you lie on your back, and your partner straddles your thighs and inserts your penis into her. She can bounce up and down or grind on you, or you can grab her by the things and thrust from below.  

It’s a bit tricky for you to reach her clitoris in this position, but she has full access. So not only will she know EXACTLY what to do, but it’s also a hell of a show! 


Reverse Cowgirl

Another classic. This is just like the cowgirl position but with a twist – your girl is facing away from you. 

She still has the opportunity to stimulate her clit herself, and it’s a lot easier for you as well! If you do a seated version of this position, you can reach around and rub her clit.


The Lotus

To get into this position, sit with your legs extended in front of you (you can bend them for more support) and let your girl straddle you and wrap her legs around your back. 

In this position, the clit will get naturally stimulated during sex because your bodies are rubbing against each other. If your girl needs more, one of you can always reach down and deliver.


The Tabletop

Let your girl lie on her back with her butt at the edge of the bed or table (so THAT’S why it’s called that). You stand between her legs and can even hold them up or place them on your shoulders.

In this position, both of you should be able to reach down and stimulate the clitoris comfortably. You can even use a vibrating toy. 

You can just place your thumb on the clit and let your humping motions to the rest. 


Side Saddle

This position is perfect for gals who need external stimulation to finish. 

To get into position, lie on your back with your knees bent. Your partner should straddle ONE of your thighs facing towards your knee.

As you get it on, your girl can rub her clit on your inner thigh.


Even More Techniques

Texture Play

Different textures feel awesome on the clit and are well worth exploring. Smooth and soft textures are perfect for a more sensitive partner, while firm and bumpy surfaces are more fit for lovers of intense sensations. 

  • Feathers are great for texture play and can be used for teasing. 
  • Silk and similar materials offer a light and cool touch. 
  • Ribbed dildos are more intense and offer a variety of sensations with each change of texture. 

You can also explore other materials – anything that’s SAFE to use, that is! 


Temperature Play

Temperature changes can add an extra layer of clitoral stimulation. We already talked about warming and cooling lubes you can explore.

You can also just use warm materials or even warm water and ice cubes. Use them directly on the clitoris or to change your mouth’s temperature during oral sex. Switch between hot and cold for maximum effect. 

Be careful NOT to go into EXTREME temperatures – that doesn’t feel good! 


Sex Toys for Rubbing Clit 

Remember – you and the vibrator aren’t enemies. You’re allies! 

Some guys are a bit uncomfortable introducing sex toys in the bedroom. While it’s understandable, you should know there’s nothing to worry about. I assure you no toy can ever replace the personality, passion, and communications skills of a human being. 

Sex toys are just fun gadgets meant to make your sex life even more enjoyable. 

Honestly, clit rubbing can get you a bit tired. Some girls need a lot of time and play to orgasm. So why not give your fingers a break and your girl the ride of a lifetime?

If you’re still unsure, start by getting something that is not phallic shaped – this will probably feel more comfortable.


Bullet vibrators

Bullet vibes are tiny vibrators, most often in the shape of a bullet or lipstick. They are VERY versatile. They’re very small and quiet, so it’s easy to incorporate them into partner play. They’re also easy to travel with. 

Bullet vibrators are ideal for intense pinpoint clitoral stimulation. Most of them have a very basic control panel, so they are easy to work with. Set them to the desired intensity or vibration mode and go to town. Don’t forget to use lube! 

You can do most of the techniques in this article with a bullet vibe for an extra layer of stimulation. You can even use it for some shallow penetration.

I personally recommend Tango X by We-Vibe. It has everything – it’s rechargeable, waterproof, and offers 120 minutes of play on a single charge. Also, it has 7 vibration modes, each with 8 levels of intensity, so you can fully customize your play.

True, it’s not the cheapest option out there, but it’s also not the most expensive pick. And you can be certain it’ll last you a long time. 

As a plus, bullet vibrations can easily stimulate other parts of the body like the nipples or the neck, or even the penis and balls… or whatever else you can think of! 

We-vibe Tango X


Clit suckers

“Clit suckers” don’t actually suck the clitoris but mimic the sensation quite well! They use airflow to indirectly stimulate the clit, making them a great choice for hypersensitive gals. They’re also suitable for long play sessions because they don’t numb the clit as some vibrators do. 

Most clit suckers have a silicone nozzle that engulfs the clit so that they can work their air pulse magic on it. In addition, some of them have vibration added on to the “sucking” action for a more complex and intense kind of stimulation. 

The We-Vibe Melt is a clit sucker that most successfully mimics oral sex. It comes with an app that offers you to create your own stimulation patterns. This makes it endlessly customizable – the only limit is your imagination!  You can also control this toy from anywhere in the world via wifi, so it’s perfect for long-distance couples. 

We-vibe Melt

If the price is a little steep for you, you should go for Satisfyer Pro 3. The materials are not as luxurious, but it combines both vibrations and air-pulse stimulation

Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration Vibrating Pressure Wave Stimulator


Couples toys 

These toys are designed to be worn during sex and offer both external and internal stimulation. The woman inserts the smaller stimulation arm inside her while the external arm rests in her clit. There is enough room to insert the penis into the vagina, but it may be too snug for proper thrusting motions. 

These toys free up your hands to explore your partner’s body while the toy does all the clit stimulation. As a bonus, the internal arm also vibrates on the G-spot and the inserted penis! 


Rabbit vibrators

Rabbit vibes combine internal AND external stimulation for mind-blowing orgasms. They get their names from the clitoral stimulation arm, often designed to look like a rabbit. 

There are many types of rabbit vibrators – they differ in size, texture, and design of the external stimulation arm.

As a general rule, you should get rabbit vibes with a simple design for their clitoral stimulator. The less intricate the design, the better chance it will adapt to the unique curves of your girl. 

The ultimate rabbit experience can be found with the Lovense Nora. It can be controlled via a free app, which gives you infinite possibilities for vibration patterns and lets you control it remotely via your phone. It also has a rotating head for extra G-spot stimulation.

Lovense Nora

Speaking of G-spots…


G-Spot stimulators

As we already stated, the G-spot is part of the clitoral network. So it only makes sense if we mention the types of sex toys meant to target it.

A G-spot stimulator is a sex toy with a curve. When inserted into the vagina, it’ll press against the frontal wall and stimulate the G-spot. Some G-spot vibes have aggressive curves for the power queens out there, and some have gentler ones for beginners and sensitive girls.

The most innovative G-spot toy on the market is definitely the Lovense Osci 2! It has an oscillating tip that delivers strong rumbly vibrations RIGHT on the G-spot! In addition, you can choose to control it through the Lovense app and build and program your own patterns. 

Lovense Osci 2


Invest in Good Toys

Sex toys can be found anywhere nowadays, especially online. So it’s essential to invest in good quality toys that will be safe for you and your partner. 

Don’t buy sex toys from Amazon – I know it has everything, but that’s precisely why it’s so easy to come across cheap and dangerous knock-offs without even realizing it. Instead, stick to trusted vendors like SheVibe, Lovehoney, or Peepshow Toys. If you or your partner are fans of a specific brand, you can just go to their official website and buy from the source. 

Something to note

Ensure that the toy you’re getting is silicone – female genitalia is very sensitive and can get irritated or even infected easily.

Silicone is non-porous, so it can be completely disinfected before and after use and is also hypoallergenic.

Waterproof toys are easier to clean and allow you to play in the shower or even bath.

Rechargeable sex toys are quieter because no batteries are rattling around in there. They are also ready to go in a jiffy. Just plug it in and wait for it to charge. Of course, you could start playing in the meantime. 

It’s best to get something versatile that can stimulate your girl in more ways than one. Whether that is different functions that you can control separately or different ways to use it, some variety during playtime is always welcome. 

Good quality toys don’t have to cost you an arm and a leg. If you’re shopping safely, you can find a lot of bargains, perfect for those of you who are just now starting to explore sex toys.

However, keep in mind that if a price is too good to be true, there is probably something fishy. So try and steer clear from stuff under 5 dollars. 


Practice Makes Perfect

We talked about many techniques for clitoral stimulation you can use on your partner. But remember that the most important things are patience, practice, and communication. 

It’s highly unlikely you’ll get it perfect on the first try, even with this helpful guide. Every girl is different and likes being stimulated in specific ways. Talk about what makes you both feel good as you explore each other’s bodies. See what works and what doesn’t. 

Try every technique more than once. Practice makes perfect! It won’t be long before you’ve mastered the art of clitoral stimulation.


Conclusion

I hope this article has been helpful. Clitoral stimulation may seem complicated, but you’ll see it’s not that hard with the proper techniques and lots of communication with your partner.

After all, the main goal is to make your girl feel good. Since you read this piece, I’m pretty sure you’re already on the right track because you took the time to research. 

Do you know what an even better way to research this is? In bed, naked, with your girl, trying stuff out. 

Good luck!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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