How to Finger a Pussy: Secret Fingering Techniques Revealed

Knowing how to finger a pussy implies figuring out what works best for your girl. And don’t worry. We’ve got all the tools and secret techniques here for you.

So, you want to do something special for your girl. Something that puts her pleasure front and center.

Well, fingering her to completion might be just the thing you’re looking for. 

Fingering is awesome on its own or as a prelude to sex. It provides the pleasures of internal stimulation BUT gives you much more control over the action. 

If you want to get EVEN BETTER at your fingering game, you need techniques.

So I’ve prepared this guide for the best fingering techniques I know and have used. They’ve worked wonders for me, and I’m sure they’ll work for you as well. 


What’s Down There?

If you want to please a girl with your fingers, you have to learn about the equipment you’ll be fiddling with. But, I promise you that female anatomy is not hard to grasp. In fact, here’s a sweet and short crash course. 

Some dudes refer to all the parts of the female genitalia as the vagina.

  • This is wrong, and
  • Women HATE it when you do that.

Since making your girl angry isn’t the ideal start of sexy, fun times (unless you’re kinky like that), I suggest you learn and use the proper names for her private parts. 

Just a heads-up

AVOID using proper terminology when dirty-talking. Most women will find this off-putting. As you’re getting hot and heavy, it’s better to use (previously discussed) pet names for what’s down there.

So, the outermost organ is the VULVA. The vulva itself contains the lips (properly referred to as labia majora and labia minora), the clitoris, the vagina, and the urethra. 

That last one doesn’t have to do with sexy times. But you should know that it’s there, and it’s a SEPARATE orifice from the vagina. 

THE VAGINA is the opening to the internal part of the female sex organ. It leads to the cervix – you know, where babies are made. It’s located at the very bottom of the vulva. 

If you trace the labia with your fingers from the vagina up, at the top where the lips meet, you’ll find the CLITORIS, protected by the lips and clitoral hood. Well, that little nub is actually just the clitoral glans.

There is a lot more to the clitoris – women have a whole clitoral network, but most of its parts are hidden inside the female body. 

So, those are the basics you need to know when playing with your girl’s privates.

Why didn’t we just focus on the vagina, you ask? We’re talking about fingering, after all.

Well, the thing is, it’s ALWAYS a good idea to start with external stimulation, especially clitoral stimulation. In other words…

Can’t wait to get to the juicy parts? You can check out this useful video from School of Squirt to learn how to make your girl squirt while inserting your finger down there.


It’s Time For Foreplay

Sexual arousal takes time. Some external play will help your partner relax their muscles, and their organs will produce some natural lubricant (in other words – make her wet). All of this will make the actual fingering part much smoother and be way more pleasant.

Going straight for the vagina will probably be too much too soon. 

Also, studies have shown that most women need clitoral stimulation to climax. So some clit play along with fingering is more likely to get her that big O. 

In fact, it’s not just about the genitalia. Foreplay can and should include a lot more. Your private parts are not the only ones that can receive pleasure. There is a whole female body to explore, and it’s full of erogenous zones! 


It’s best to start things off with some kissing. 

While you’re kissing your girl, you can let your hands do some exploring. Find out where she likes to be touched if you don’t know yet. Pay attention to her body language and moans. 

Try kissing her neck, running your fingers through her hair, licking her earlobes, kissing and caressing her chest, gliding your fingers along her spine, waist, and lower back, squeezing her butt… Play around with speed and pressure.

Some girls are sensual, while others like it rough. Your best bet is to start slow and build up the intensity as you go. 


It’s finally time to play with her pussy.

Start by touching it through her panties while kissing her neck or nibbling on her ear. Then, if she is comfortable and relaxed, slowly slip your hand under her panties. Next, trace your fingers up and down her labia and focus on the clit.

Rub it up and down or side to side. Again, play with pressure and speed. And pay attention to how she reacts. 

  • Don’t rush things! Even if you and your girl are into some rough play, that doesn’t equal rushing. If you’re too eager to get to the fingering, that will probably make your partner feel uneasy and turn her off. 
  • Teasing is a great way to avoid rushing and helps your partner build up arousal. Take a step back now and again. 
  • Get her talking. Ask simple questions about what she wants you to do. Another technique is telling her how turned on you are and how much you enjoy when she does XYZ.

That’ll give her the opportunity to retaliate and say out loud which of your moves she particularly enjoys. That’ll make things a lot easier for you. 

When she’s ready and wet, it’s finally time for some fingering. 


Fingering Basics

First Of All: Play Safely

It’s not just penetrative sex that can get you STIs. Other sexual activities, like fingering, also carry some risk.

Good news: the risk is VERY LOW. Still, you have to take some precautions.

Even if you’re both completely healthy, washing your hands before and between activities is a must. The vagina is very sensitive and can get infected or at least irritated very easily from bacteria or debris left on your fingers. 

If you’re unsure about your or your partner’s health status, avoid specific types of contact like mouth to genital and genital to genital. That includes licking your fingers before or after you finger your partner. You can also use prophylactics like finger cots. 

Something to note

ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS cut and smooth out your nails before playtime.

Long nails can hide germs and debris under them even after washing your hands. Even more, sharp or jagged edges can (and most likely will) cut or otherwise hurt the vagina.


Lube Up

I’ve said it before, but I will never stop repeating it: the wetter, the better!

Lubricant, natural or synthetic, will make your experience so much better. It will prevent painful sensations, make penetration smoother, and increase pleasure.

Some girls get wet pretty quickly, so you can get by without any synthetic lube. Other girls may require some time to get there – that’s why we took our time discussing foreplay.

You have to be patient because female arousal tends to be slower. After all, you want your partner to feel good, don’t you? That’s why you’re reading this article in the first place. 

Sometimes your girl may not get as wet even if she is already very aroused. This could happen for various reasons, none of which are a cause for concern. That’s why we have synthetic lube! 

  • Water-based lube is the most versatile option – it works great, is available everywhere, and won’t damage any toys or condoms if you plan to use them later in the play session. It dries out rather quickly, but you can always use more. 
  • Silicone-based lube feels smoother and oil-based lube lasts the longest. However, you must keep in mind that these kinds of lubes can damage some sex toys and condoms, so avoid them if you’re planning to move on to penetrative sex after the fingering.

But if you’re sticking to just playing with your hands or don’t use condoms or toys, you can totally give them a go! Plain natural skin-safe oils are also an option, like olive oil or coconut oil. (see our lube guide for more details.)

Some synthetic lubes have a cooling, warming, or tingling effect, which can add to your girl’s pleasure. 

Avoid using saliva as lube if you’re unsure about your or your partner’s STI status. But if you’re both healthy, it’s also an option (not as great as synthetic lube or oils, but it does come naturally just to lick your fingers when you need to).

Something to note

Make sure to wet your fingers BEFORE entering the vagina. Going in dry DOESN’T feel good. 


Start Slow And Tease

Start with just one finger at first. Then, go in slowly and pull back. Tease her until she begs for more. You can even switch between stimulating her clit and penetrating her. 

Add more fingers as you go. For many girls, 2 fingers are enough; some prefer 3. More than that is more suitable for the more experienced and is a subject for another article. 

Don’t forget to kiss her on the mouth and neck, breasts, or wherever else she wants. If you both are into dirty talking, you can whisper something naughty in her ear. 


Stimulate Her G-Spot

The G-spot is located on the front wall of the vagina (the one towards the belly button), about 3 inches deep. It should feel spongy to the touch. It’s more sensitive than the surrounding area, and many women love G-spot stimulation. 

Did you know that the G-spot is actually part of the clitoral network?

That’s right. As I said earlier, most parts of the clitoris are hidden inside the female body. The clitoris has clitoral roots, and they can be stimulated through the vagina. The G-spot is where you have the most access to the clitoral roots.

So, how do you stimulate it exactly? 

Let your girl lay on her back. Insert just one finger In her with your palm facing up. Gently go in and out and feel around for a spot that feels spongy to the touch.

Pay attention to your partner’s reactions. The G-spot is more sensitive, and your girl will probably let you know when you’ve found it. When you’ve found it, you can add more fingers. 

Make a “come hither” motion with your finger/fingers. They should be curled upwards. 

Move them in and out towards your palm.

Be gentle. If you go too fast and hard, you might cause pain. The vagina is a delicate place. 

This technique can make your lady have a squirting orgasm. But, keep in mind that it won’t happen right away. It takes practice on your part and relaxation on your girl’s part. 

Another technique is the windscreen wiper motion. First, curl your fingers like with the “come hither” motion. Then, move them from side to side across the G-spot, essentially “wiping” it.

The third technique is using a barrel roll motion. Use the tips of your fingers to make little circles inside the vagina.


Double Stimulation

Another thing you can do is stimulate the clitoris and the G-spot AT THE SAME TIME!

This is a favorite amongst many women because it can cause more intense and pleasurable orgasms. It could also help your girl climax easier and more quickly.

Start by stimulating the G-spot. Then, figure out what rhythm works best for your gal, and keep it steady.

The G-spot will start swelling up, and you will feel more pressure on your fingers. This is a sign she is close to climax.

Add clitoral stimulation by rubbing the clit with your thumb or another hand. You can also use a bullet vibe or а clit-sucking sex toy for more intense stimulation. 


Techniques For The Experienced

If you feel well versed in all the basics, here are a few things to kick things up a notch.

The Double Down

Your girl should lie on her back. Slide one hand under her butt. Don’t go too far – your thumb should be able to penetrate her vagina. Insert your thumb and lick her clit at the same time. 

Not only are you using double stimulation, but the downward pressure may be a new and exciting sensation for your partner.  Combining fingering with oral sex will also be a very pleasurably intense experience. 


The Butterfly

Another technique that combines oral and fingering is “the butterfly.” Let your girl lie on her back and go down on her. Don’t rush into fingering just yet – let her ask you for it. 

Insert one finger into her. Then, use the index finger of your other hand to circle around her butthole. While you lick her clit and finger her pussy, you can also insert the tip of your other finger into her butt. 

Something to note

It’s super important to take this part slowly and use plenty of lube. You don’t need to move it around a lot – just having it in will be plenty of stimulation for your girl.

This is essentially TRIPLE stimulation and is sure to get any girl cum in no time! 


Making Her Squirt

The squirting orgasm is one of the most INTENSE and sexual experiences a woman can have. And her first time squirting is something she’ll likely never forget.

But what is squirting

Squirting is another name for female ejaculation. At the moment of orgasm, a lot of liquid (ejaculate) literally squirts out. That said, if you and your partner are attempting this, better put some towels down. 

To make your girl squirt, insert 2 fingers in her vagina with your palm facing upwards. Curve the tips towards her belly to locate the G-spot. Start moving them up and down (not in and out). Use your other hand to gently rub her clit. 

Find the right rhythm. When your girl tells you something along the lines of “Just like that!”

Congratulations! You’ve hit the sweet spot!

DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING! Don’t change things up, and don’t pick up the pace when she’s close to orgasm, even if it seems counter-intuitive. Consistency is much more likely to give you the result you want! 


Something Extra 

Do you want to make your fingering techniques more interesting and fun? Of course, you do!

Here are some things you can add to your playtime. 

Blindfold

Covering your partner’s eyes will make them focus on what they’re feeling. That means the sensations of fingering will be more pleasurable and intense. 

Also, if your girl has some body image issues, a blindfold might make her feel much more relaxed

Body image issues are a big problem for many women today when even social media bombards them with images of “perfect” bodies that have been edited to the extreme.

If your girl is blindfolded, she can take a break from looking at and judging her body or the way it looks in certain positions. Instead, she can just lay back and enjoy your newfound fingering techniques. 

Also, using a blindfold feels kinky and is a great way for beginners to explore some roleplay or power dynamics.


Handcuffs

Handcuffs are another thing you can add to your fingering game. Your lady can explore a kink fantasy that’s still pretty safe and vanilla and give overall control to you.

The feeling can be very freeing because she doesn’t have to think about giving back pleasure. Also, you will have the freedom to try out all of the fingering techniques from this article! 

The cool thing is you don’t have to use actual handcuffs if you don’t want to or don’t have any. Instead, you can use a scarf, a belt, a tie, a t-shirt…

Avoid using rope if it’s not specifically designed for sexual play because you might get rope burn. Likewise, NEVER use zip ties. It’s very dangerous! 

Maybe you can even combine the handcuffs and blindfold for a fun 50 Shades Of Grey experience. 

Just remember always to have a safe word when trying out new kinks like this, ESPECIALLY when it comes to giving up control or restrictions of movement or sight.

Yes, even if your play looks pretty innocent. Safewords will protect you and your partner and will assure you can effectively stop any activity that you no longer enjoy or take a break when you’re overwhelmed. 

Make sure your safe word is something that won’t come up in sex or dirty talks usually, like “apple” or “capibara” or whatever. 


Sex Toys

Sex toys are a great addition to any form of play, including fingering! They can make the sensations more intense or complex, help your girl achieve climax easier, and give you a break when you get too tired. 

One of the things you can use is a “sleeve” for your finger. It’s just what it sounds like – a little silicone sleeve you can put your finger in.

Sleeves have different textures for that bit of extra stimulation. You can find sleeves with ridges, bumps, swirls, and sometimes even little tentacles – every texture provides unique sensations. 

Another option is using a finger vibrator. Finger vibrators are probably the most versatile and easy-to-use sex toys. They’re specifically designed to be held with or attached to your fingers. Some are more suitable for external stimulation, while others are for penetration. 

You can try out Fifty Shades of Grey Sensation, which engulfs your whole finger and is designed to hit the G-spot.

Fifty Shades of Grey Sensation

Another option is GLUVR which is ideal for fingering and is made for dual stimulation ( and is also perfect as a vibrating masturbation stroker for the guys).

GLUVR

Another option is using a bullet vibrator because they’re very versatile, small, quiet, and easy to work with. They’re great for both clitoral stimulation and some shallow penetration. Maybe you can use one to rub your gal’s clit while you finger her with your other hand? 

I personally recommend Tango X by We-Vibe. It’s a lipstick-shaped bullet that provides you with many stimulation options just by changing the angle at which you hold it. Also, it’s rechargeable, waterproof, has a variety of vibration modes and intensity levels, and has 120 minutes of play on a single charge.

We-vibe Tango X

Last but not least, I would suggest you try adding a clit sucking toy to your fingering techniques! These innovative toys are somewhat new on the market, but they already have a loyal fan base. 

They don’t actually “suck” the clit but use contactless air pulse stimulation technologies. That way, they mimic the feeling of oral sex quite well and don’t numb the clit after long sessions like some vibes do. 

The We-Vibe Melt mimics oral sex with the most success. It comes with an app that offers you to create your own stimulation patterns.

We-vibe Melt

If the price is too much for you, go for Satisfyer Pro 3. It’s affordable but still a quality toy. Also, it combines both vibrations and air-pulse stimulation.

Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration Vibrating Pressure Wave Stimulator


Orgasms are incredible, but they’re not everything 

Remember not to get hyper-focused on your partner’s orgasm to make it feel like a chore. The female orgasm is much more elusive. It doesn’t happen every time, and that’s OKAY. 

Don’t get me wrong – you should absolutely try your best to help your girl climax. But if she feels pressure coming from you, that will make her nervous and ruin the whole ordeal. 

Keeping on until she cums can even be tiring. If it’s not her day, all you’re going to do is force her to fake an orgasm because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or just wants a break. 

So remember – even if the fingering is AWESOME, an orgasm is not guaranteed.

Something to note

Make your girl feel safe, and don’t pressure her. After all, consensual sexual activity is pleasurable in itself, even if you don’t reach the big O. 

Weirdly, if both of you don’t hyper-focus on orgasm, the chances she will cum are actually much, much higher. 


Conclusion

The techniques I’ve laid out here are pretty easy, aren’t they?

All you really need is patience and good communication skills to figure out what works best for your girl.

Explore these techniques, add some extra props or sex toys for a good time, and most importantly – remember to take it slow and have fun!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.