I’ve been there.
Just a year ago I experienced serious sexual trouble in my relationships.
I couldn’t get an erection on my girl, not even talking about lasting long enough to be a pleasurable experience.
I brushed it off to stress, depression (which definitely played the role), but deep down I knew it was more than that.
One evening when I saw the sad look in her eyes I felt so ashamed that I said to myself:
Never again! I’m gonna figure this out and not settle until I’ve mastered my erection!"
It took me a few months of studying, practicing and trying different things.
Fast forward to now and I can get an erection on command so easily, that I have fun with this 😀
For example, when my girl went to the shower I just pulled my penis out to show how quickly and how much she is arousing me!
Then when she got aroused from the sight I just put it back in my pants and walk away knowing confidently I can get it up whenever and for as long as I want.
Other times I show off to her how I can get rock-hard in 5-10 seconds and then easily go limp in 10-20 seconds!
That’s the Erection on Command!
Let me share you the exact steps for how you can achieve the same and more!
#1 - Fix The Obvious Health & Mental Issues
I’m not gonna talk about this a lot, but health, diet, and sleep do play a role.
So if you are overweight, smoking, drinking and not having 7-8 hours sleep every day, the change of those habits will make an immense difference!
Your penis is a blood vessel - cardio and gym exercise will help your body to circulate blood faster and lead to faster erections.
As for mental issues:
You cannot expect to get hard instantly if your mind is stressed, depressed or you and your woman have some unsolved issues.
The easy solution is to introduce meditation, yoga, heavy breathing, Qi Gong before you’re having sex. Even a few deep breaths and you focusing on being present will make it work.
Please don’t use Viagra or any pills until you’ve tried these steps. Don’t start using a crutch before you break your leg.
Yes, Viagra absolutely works, but it’s not a permanent solution.
#2 - Strengthen Your PC Muscles With Kegel Exercises
This exercise is the key to getting an erection on command.
It’s like a gym for your penis which results in:
- harder erections
- faster erections
- greater control over your arousal levels
But the thing with this exercise is that you must practice it daily.
Use it or lose it.
By the way, that’s how it works for the size too.
If you regularly practice Kegel exercises, your penis size will increase 20-30%. Stop touching it and it will decrease in size 20%.
Dave Asprey tested this himself when doing these exercises for one month every morning and saw these results. I can attest to it.
How do you practice Kegel exercises?
The easiest way to practice and isolate your PC muscles is when you go to pee. You use PC muscles to stop peeing.
If you’re not in rush, this is a perfect trigger to exercise them. Just stop peeing 5-10x for 5-7 seconds every time you use the toilet.
When you practice Kegels by yourself it’s a bit harder to isolate PC muscles, but you can also set a reminder for every day at a specific time or use lunch break as a trigger.
The more you do them, the better control you achieve. I noticed a considerable difference when I was 2 weeks.
#3 - Go on Porn Detox and Retain Yourself from Any Sexual Stimulation
Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but this is a crucial part of being able to get hard on command.
Porn videos and pictures are like drugs that numb our senses. Remember, how I shared that I couldn’t get erect on my girl?
Porn and masturbation by myself did it.
I loved the excitement of watching 20-30 different videos per session - threesomes, anal, black girls, white girls, public sex all from sexually stimulating angles.
How the hell I could expect to get hard on my own normal girl..?
Besides, during real sex, you don’t get the most exciting angles as you do in porn.
You must re-learn how to get aroused without porn if you want to get rock-hard quickly during real sex.
Depending on your addiction levels I would recommend you stop any sexual stimulation for one to four weeks. I saw my sexual drive, energy and positivity increase around 30% in two weeks. Semen retention and porn detox = transformation.
Did you know semen contains around 200 nutrients that you just waste when you ejaculate regularly? Is there any wonder that your energy is low?
Start saving that energy and you’ll see positive change not only with your sex drive but other areas of your life as well.
Do this together with Kegel exercises and you’ll be ready for step #4.
#4 - Edging Practice: Get To Know Your Arousal Levels
When you have done Kegel exercise for at least a week and went on sexual detox, you’ll notice that you have no problem getting hard instantly…
You have a problem to last for long enough! You get excited rapidly which leads to premature ejaculation.
Edging practice is important because it helps you to get to know yourself and your own limits.
How do you practice edging?
You rethink masturbation. If in past you masturbated to relieve sexual pressure or boredom, now you’ll have a goal in mind.
It’s important to practice edging without porn. Porn or even sexy pictures will put you to the edge too fast, the same as exciting sex.
With porn your focus is outwards, but to achieve control you need to focus inwards.
You can get yourself hard by fantasizing, but once you’re hard - stay present and focus on your sensations.
Notice your arousal levels:
- 10% is a limp penis.
- 100% you’ve ejaculated.
Your goal is to raise yourself to 80-90% and then bring yourself back to 50-60%. You can bring yourself down by contracting your PC muscles.
There are three ways you can do it:
- do many quick PC muscle squeezes while breathing deeply in your belly
- when at 95% contract your PC muscle, butt, and the whole body while holding your breath and hold for as long as you can.
- Microcosmic orbit exercise: It’s Taoist practice where they rotate the energy up the spine to the top of the head and then down back to belly. After one rotation I find my penis limp and I feel myself being vibrant and rejuvenated.
This is when I started having fun and created little challenges for myself to get hard super quick and then go limp quick, and back again! It’s cool to have new superpowers kheh!
Make sure each session lasts at least 15-20 mins.
If you cannot last for this time alone, how can you expect to do it during sex..?
Try your best not to ejaculate.
When learning your limits opt-out to the safe side and don’t get overconfident. Once you ejaculate you’re back to Level 0 and need to wait for a week to build your energy levels up.
But also don’t bash yourself when you fail. I expected myself to get this right in the first month, I achieved non-ejaculatory orgasm once and got cocky.
I ejaculated then by accident a few times when having sex and masturbating. Timing wasn’t right (it’s tricky to get it right). At first, I bashed myself but then I remember that I am still at 80% better place then I was when I started!
Aim for improvement, not perfection.
#5 - How to Last Longer During Sex
If you’ve done all the steps above, then you won’t have ANY problem getting hard instantly or even being able to ejaculate on command.
Your only challenge will be to master yourself not to ejaculate too fast
Have a long foreplay
Most guys think that sex is all about intercourse, but did you know that women’s vagina can take only around 30mins of active thrusting?
Intercourse doesn’t need to be the main course!
Having long foreplay is great for woman’s arousal, but also for yours! It’s very hard to have performance anxiety when you feel the girl is super wet and horny for you. Mirror neurons come to our aid here.
Make sure you give her orgasm before you enter her. This will ensure that no matter what happens next, she will be satisfied.
Choose the right condom
If you’ve trouble with staying hard, pick a thin condom.
If like me after going for porn detox and semen retention, you have trouble managing your excitement, pick a thick condom (or even better..want to have less feelings while giving her a more filling experience - try penis sleeve).
And use a delay wipes (VigRX works well) to reduce the intensity of sensations.
I like VigRX because its natural and not that intense as other chemical based wipes are.
Slow things down
For guys to come they usually need fast, active thrusting however women can easily orgasm from slow constant thrusting and some clitoral stimulation.
If you’re getting too excited you can do three things:
- Focus on her sensations and take her whole body in
When you focus on your cock, her butt, breasts, and pussy, it may be too much stimulation after your detox. Calm yourself down by breathing slowly, looking into her eyes, really taking her in and trying to notice what she’s feeling.
- Change positions to less stimulating one
For everyone positions will be different, for me the least stimulating positions is a missionary when she’s on the top.
Observe yourself and over time you’ll be able to cherry-pick the right positions for the right situations.
- STOP: Take your penis half-way out, contract your PC muscle and move the sexual energy up to the spine.
Remember the edging exercise? This is where you use it on the battlefield! Woman’s vagina becomes tighter when it goes deeper, so taking your penis half-way will help with relaxation while still giving her stimulation.
It’s best that you explain what you’re doing and have her cooperating. She needs to stop when you tell her to avoid pushing you over the edge. It’s a minor setback, that will result in a lot longer and more pleasurable sex for her, so don’t worry about talking to her!
I’ve also found that having a physically challenging standing positions or me even carrying her while fucking really helps to control my excitement.
Plus, you’ll feel like a f*cking man taking her like that and being able to stay hard all the way.
Have fun with this! Even when things go wrong - a sense of humor goes a long way to develop yourself into a better lover.
#6 - Transmute Your Sexual Energy to Achieve Multiple Non-ejaculatory and Whole Body Orgasms
I’ve saved the best for the last. Now, this is the ultimate sexual mastery in my opinion.
This is what Taoist and Tantric lovers knew and you can have it too with a bit of practice.
Remember, I mentioned semen retention?
Yes, it’s cool to just retain yourself from ejaculation, but you need to learn to rotate your sexual energy otherwise it will stagnate in the genital area.
In my experience, for 2 weeks of retention I felt my energy increasing, but then it stayed on the same levels. I kept having sex without ejaculating and in one month had weird sensations in my lower belly.
You see, I overlooked the importance of Microcosmic orbit exercise discarding it as woo-woo stuff.
They didn’t necessarily need to do Microcosmic orbit exercise because they did a lot of physical exercises which pumps the blood and energy in different body parts.
If you’re not that active, like me, you’ll benefit a lot from this simple rotation and get access to this energy reserve that’s stored away.
PC muscle contractions and Microcosmic Orbit exercise is key to having non-ejaculatory whole body orgasms.
Now when you practice edging you’ll intentionally move your sexual arousal up the spine and take the sensations from your genitals to your whole body.
You’ll stop yourself right at the point of cuming, contract your PC muscles and hold for 20-30 seconds while experiencing the orgasm going from your genitals up to the spine.
It takes quite a bit of practice and sometimes I still don’t time myself right, but it’s possible!
That's it folks!
Would love to hear your experiences with this and if you have any questions I'm here for you!
Interested in other orgasmic experiences? Check out my in-depth guide on prostate stimulation.