Learn how to get a hard on instantly and achieve the ultimate command over your penis! If you implement these steps, lasting longer won’t be a problem!
I’ve been there.
Just a year ago I experienced serious sexual trouble in my relationships.
I couldn’t get an erection on my girl, not even talking about lasting long enough to be a pleasurable experience.
I brushed it off to stress, depression (which definitely played a role), but deep down I knew it was more than that.
One evening when I saw the sad look in her eyes I felt so ashamed that I said to myself:
Never again! I’m gonna figure this out and not settle until I’ve mastered my erection!”
It took me a few months of studying, practicing, and trying different things like buying the best cock ring.
Fast forward to now and I can get an erection on command so easily, that I have fun with this 😀
For example, when my girl went to the shower I just pulled my penis out to show how quickly and how much she was arousing me!
Then when she got aroused from the sight I just put it back in my pants and walk away knowing confidently I can get it up whenever and for as long as I want.
Other times I show off to her how I can get rock-hard in 5-10 seconds and then easily go limp in 10-20 seconds!
That’s the Erection on Command!
Let me share with you the exact steps for how you can achieve the same and more!
Table of Contents
The Science Behind The Hard-On
Like most things in your body, erections start in the brain.
Anything you see, touch, smell, think, or hear stimulates your brain to send chemical signals from your nerves to your penis.
The arteries in the erectile tissue of your penis hear these signals and relax, allowing more blood to flow. While this happens, veins close and contract in the penis to keep blood from leaving.
This influx of blood causes the penis to expand under pressure, giving you an erection.
When the veins open up again and let the blood out (and new blood stops coming in), the erection goes away and your penis returns to its normal state.
*If you want to skip to the good part, watch this useful video from School of Squirt. It gives step-by-step video lessons and all the mindsets and techniques needed to give any girl squirting orgasms every time.*
What helps you get hard?
This may seem obvious, but arousal is crucial to get and maintain an erection.
If you don’t want to have sex, you’ll probably not get a boner.
Your senses play a big part in this.
Things you taste, touch, hear, smell, and can all contribute to your erections. Sometimes, you need to engage in longer foreplay with your partner before sex.
You may also need to reduce your stress and anxiety levels or try new things with your partner to break a stale routine.
Why can’t you keep an erection?
Nearly every man will experience difficulty getting or maintaining an erection at some point.
This can have so many causes that it’s difficult to list them all (though we did list them all here), but we’ll run through some of the most common issues.
Often, erectile dysfunction (ED) is temporary.
In these cases, it can usually be attributed to things like:
- Performance anxiety (i.e., being anxious about living up to your partner’s expectations),
- Excessive drinking (“whiskey dick”),
- Stress, or
- Simply being tired.
If it happens frequently, you may need to consider addressing larger issues.
Ironically, one of the most common causes of ED is worrying about whether or not you’ll be able to get an erection.
Infertility can also affect erections.
If you’re trying to get your partner pregnant but biologically can’t, it can have psychological effects preventing you from getting hard.
In fact, any issues in your relationship can impact your erections.
Many men have experienced sexual coercion, assault, or abusive behavior ranging from verbal berating to physical attacks.
Few men talk about it, but these experiences sink into their psyches and can make it difficult to get an erection until they’ve undergone therapy.
Aside from the psychological causes, many physical factors can also cause ED.
High cholesterol, obesity, binge drinking, high blood pressure, not getting enough physical activity, using some recreational or prescription drugs, and neurological problems – just to name a few.
Most of these issues can be fixed with simple lifestyle changes.
#1 – Fix The Obvious Health & Mental Issues
Reduce anxiety and stress
You’re unlikely to get hard and perform well in bed if you’re stressed out.
Stress changes the hormones in your body, specifically increasing cortisol production. Higher cortisol raises the risks of depression and anxiety, both impacting sexual function.
Relaxation exercises, yoga, or even meditation can lower your stress to get in the right headspace for sexual activity.
Get regular exercise
This is a no-brainer, tough for most.
Erections depend on blood flow, and healthy blood flow improves with regular cardiovascular exercise.
When you don’t exercise regularly, it’s harder for your body to get and maintain an erection.
You don’t need to be running marathons, but spending 30-40 minutes per week doing moderate exercise (jogging, biking, running, etc.) is enough to improve erectile function.
Seven hours of sleep is recommended for normal healthy functioning, but many of us don’t get that each night.
This can increase stress – which we’ve already established impacts erectile function – and decrease testosterone, possibly causing ED.
Finding time to sleep is not always easy, but it’s critical for your health.
Healthy eating and drinking
Food that increases your blood pressure – fast food, high-sodium foods, canned foods – can hurt your sexual function.
Vegetables, fruits, nuts, fish, and whole grains can lower your blood pressure and restore some of your sexual ability.
Alcohol also greatly impacts sexual function, especially if you drink often. Casual drinking shouldn’t affect your sexual function, but consistent alcohol abuse definitely will.
Keep a healthy weight
Obesity is a serious risk factor for erectile dysfunction.
As your weight increases above average, your chance of getting a healthy hard-on steadily decreases.
It’s not about appearance or physical fitness. It’s just about managing your weight to a healthy level. This ties in with sleep and a nutritious diet, which make weight management easier.
Smoking takes a toll on your cardiovascular system, making it more difficult for your body to facilitate normal erections.
Nicotine narrows your blood vessels, making it harder for blood to flow into your penis when you get aroused.
It’s also a risk factor for atherosclerosis, which hurts your blood flow even more and increases the chances of heart disease and erectile dysfunction.
#2 – Strengthen Your PC Muscles With Kegel Exercises
This exercise is the key to getting an erection on command.
It’s like a gym for your penis, which results in:
- harder erections
- faster erections (also check out our best vibrating cock ring guide to speed up your erections)
- greater control over your arousal levels
But the thing with this exercise is that you must practice it daily.
Use it or lose it.
By the way, that’s how it works for the size too.
If you regularly practice Kegel exercises, your penis size will increase by 20-30%. Stop touching it, and it will decrease in size by 20%.
Dave Asprey tested this himself when doing these exercises for one month every morning and saw these results. I can attest to it.
How do you practice Kegel exercises?
The easiest way to practice and isolate your PC muscles is when you go to pee. You use PC muscles to stop peeing.
If you’re not in a rush, this is a perfect trigger to exercise them. Just stop peeing 5-10x for 5-7 seconds every time you use the toilet.
When you practice Kegels by yourself, it’s a bit harder to isolate PC muscles. But you can also set a reminder for every day at a specific time or use lunch break as a trigger.
The more you do them, the better control you achieve. I noticed a considerable difference when I was 2 weeks.
#3 – Go on Porn Detox and Retain Yourself from Any Sexual Stimulation
Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but this is a crucial part of being able to get hard on command.
Porn videos and pictures are like drugs that numb our senses.
You must re-learn how to get aroused without porn if you want to get rock-hard quickly during real sex.
Depending on your addiction levels I would recommend you stop any sexual stimulation for one to four weeks. I saw my sexual drive, energy and positivity increase around 30% in two weeks. Semen retention and porn detox = transformation.
Did you know semen contains around 200 nutrients that you just waste when you ejaculate regularly? Is there any wonder that your energy is low?
Start saving that energy and you’ll see positive change not only with your sex drive but other areas of your life as well.
Do this together with Kegel exercises and you’ll be ready for step #4.
#4 – Edging Practice: Get To Know Your Arousal Levels
When you have done Kegel exercise for at least a week and went on sexual detox, you’ll notice that you have no problem getting hard instantly…
You have a problem to last for long enough! You get excited rapidly which leads to premature ejaculation.
Edging practice is important because it helps you to get to know yourself and your own limits.
How do you practice edging?
You rethink masturbation. If in past you masturbated to relieve sexual pressure or boredom, now you’ll have a goal in mind.
It’s important to practice edging without porn. Porn or even sexy pictures will put you to the edge too fast, the same as exciting sex.
With porn your focus is outwards, but to achieve control you need to focus inwards.
You can get yourself hard by fantasizing, but once you’re hard – stay present and focus on your sensations.
Notice your arousal levels:
- 10% is a limp penis.
- 100% you’ve ejaculated.
Your goal is to raise yourself to 80-90% and then bring yourself back to 50-60%. You can bring yourself down by contracting your PC muscles.
There are three ways you can do it:
- do many quick PC muscle squeezes while breathing deeply in your belly
- when at 95% contract your PC muscle, butt, and the whole body while holding your breath and hold for as long as you can.
- Microcosmic orbit exercise: It’s Taoist practice where they rotate the energy up the spine to the top of the head and then down back to belly. After one rotation I find my penis limp and I feel myself being vibrant and rejuvenated.
This is when I started having fun and created little challenges for myself to get hard super quick and then go limp quick, and back again! It’s cool to have new superpowers kheh!
Make sure each session lasts at least 15-20 mins.
If you cannot last for this time alone, how can you expect to do it during sex..?
Try your best not to ejaculate.
When learning your limits opt-out to the safe side and don’t get overconfident. Once you ejaculate you’re back to Level 0 and need to wait for a week to build your energy levels up.
But also don’t bash yourself when you fail. I expected myself to get this right in the first month, I achieved non-ejaculatory orgasm once and got cocky.
I ejaculated then by accident a few times when having sex and masturbating. Timing wasn’t right (it’s tricky to get it right). At first, I bashed myself but then I remember that I am still at 80% better place then I was when I started!
Aim for improvement, not perfection.
#5 – How to Last Longer During Sex
If you’ve done all the steps above, then you won’t have ANY problem getting hard instantly or even being able to ejaculate on command.
Your only challenge will be to master yourself not to ejaculate too fast
Check out these tips on how to last longer in bed!
Have a long foreplay
Most guys think that sex is all about intercourse, but did you know that women’s vagina can take only around 30mins of active thrusting?
Intercourse doesn’t need to be the main course!
Having long foreplay is great for a woman’s arousal, but also for yours! It’s very hard to have performance anxiety when you feel the girl is super wet and horny for you. Mirror neurons1 come to our aid here.
Make sure you give her an orgasm before you enter her. This will ensure that no matter what happens next, she will be satisfied.
Consider checking out our best sex tips for men guide to take your game to a new level.
Choose the right condom
If you have trouble staying hard, pick a thin condom.
If, like me, after going for porn detox and semen retention, you have trouble managing your excitement, pick a thick condom (or even better..want to have fewer feelings while giving her a more filling experience – try a penis sleeve).
And use delay wipes (VigRX works well) to reduce the intensity of sensations.
I like VigRX because it’s natural and not that intense as other chemical based wipes are.
Slow things down
For guys to come they usually need fast, active thrusting however women can easily orgasm from slow constant thrusting and some clitoral stimulation.
If you’re getting too excited you can do three things:
- Focus on her sensations and take her whole body in. When you focus on your cock, her butt, breasts, and pussy, it may be too much stimulation after your detox. Calm yourself down by breathing slowly, looking into her eyes, really taking her in, and trying to notice what she’s feeling.
- Change positions to less stimulating ones. For every position will be different, for me the least stimulating position is a missionary when she’s on the top. Observe yourself and over time you’ll be able to cherry-pick the right positions for the right situations.
- STOP: Take your penis half-way out, contract your PC muscle, and move the sexual energy up to the spine. Remember the edging exercise? This is where you use it on the battlefield! A woman’s vagina becomes tighter when it goes deeper, so taking your penis half-way will help with relaxation while still giving her stimulation. It’s best that you explain what you’re doing and have her cooperating. She needs to stop when you tell her to avoid pushing you over the edge. It’s a minor setback, that will result in a lot longer and more pleasurable sex for her, so don’t worry about talking to her!
I’ve also found that having a physically challenging standing positions or me even carrying her while fucking really helps to control my excitement.
Have fun with this! Even when things go wrong – a sense of humor goes a long way to develop yourself into a better lover.
#6 – Transmute Your Sexual Energy to Achieve Multiple Non-ejaculatory and Whole Body Orgasms
I’ve saved the best for the last. Now, this is the ultimate sexual mastery in my opinion.
This is what Taoist and Tantric lovers knew and you can have it too with a bit of practice.
Remember, I mentioned semen retention?
Yes, it’s cool to just retain yourself from ejaculation, but you need to learn to rotate your sexual energy otherwise it will stagnate in the genital area.
In my experience, for 2 weeks of retention I felt my energy increasing, but then it stayed on the same levels. I kept having sex without ejaculating and in one month had weird sensations in my lower belly.
You see, I overlooked the importance of Microcosmic orbit exercise, discarding it as woo-woo stuff.
But even Napoleon Hill included a chapter “Sexual Transmutation” in his famous “Think and Grow Rich” book. Athletes and boxers like Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson have been practicing it for years.
They didn’t necessarily need to do Microcosmic orbit exercise because they did a lot of physical exercises which pumps the blood and energy in different body parts.
If you’re not that active, like me, you’ll benefit a lot from this simple rotation and get access to this energy reserve that’s stored away.
PC muscle contractions and Microcosmic Orbit exercise is key to having non-ejaculatory whole body orgasms.
Now when you practice edging (and other techniques like sounding) you’ll intentionally move your sexual arousal up the spine and take the sensations from your genitals to your whole body.
You’ll stop yourself right at the point of cuming, contract your PC muscles and hold for 20-30 seconds while experiencing the orgasm going from your genitals up to the spine.
It takes quite a bit of practice and sometimes I still don’t time myself right, but it’s possible!
Can you use medication to treat erection problems?
Many causes of ED come from poor lifestyle choices or psychological issues, but others are medical problems that can be treated with the right medication.
Still, make sure to take these meds with caution and check with your doctor first.
Sildenafil is the generic term for Viagra. It stops your body from regulating blood flow to the penis by blocking a specific enzyme.
It’s probably the most common medication for ED and can be found just about anywhere with a prescription.
Sildenafil usually allows you to get an erection faster and stay hard longer during sexual activity, and it only takes about an hour to start working.
Vardenafil (Levitra, Staxyn)
This medication works pretty similarly to Sildenafil but lasts a little bit longer (about 5 hours). It’s often sold as Levitra and has pretty much the same effect as Viagra.
Commonly referred to by the brand name Cialis, Tadalafil works the same way Sildenafil does. The only difference is that Tadalafil lasts up to 36 hours, so it might be more convenient for long vacations or if you’re expecting a spontaneous encounter.
Avanafil is a newer ED medication that works within 15 minutes of use, so you don’t have to plan your sex ahead.
It’s an overall improvement on other ED medications, and users report fewer side effects. It works similarly to Sildenafil, but it doesn’t inhibit as many enzymes.
This medication won’t necessarily help you get hard, but it can help you stay hard and prevent premature ejaculation.
Lidocaine spray makes your penis less sensitive, so you can have sex longer.
Is it possible to get an erection after ejaculation?
After orgasm, we experience a “refractory period” where our bodies return to a normal state. This happens to males and females.
During this time, the penis becomes flaccid and won’t respond to sexual stimulation.
You won’t be able to orgasm again until your refractory period is over. This can be as short as a few minutes for younger men or as long as 24 hours.
It really depends from person to person.
While the refractory period is generally out of your control, it can be shortened by using Viagra or Cialis.
That’s it folks!
Would love to hear your experiences with this and if you have any questions I’m here for you!
Interested in other orgasmic experiences? Check out my in-depth guide on how to make a homemade cock ring.
- Wikipedia, n.d.. Mirror neuron.