17 Best Lesbian Strap-Ons: Realistic Strap-On Dildos (2022)

Want to fill your girl with a big love? Give it to her good with the best lesbian strap on for full penetrating pleasure!

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If you or your lady need penetration to get off, no worries.

Many lesbians love to bang it out with a strap-on. It is a ton of fun to wield and feels amazing to receive.

Every woman has that special pleasure point: stimulate it and she’ll melt into a puddle.

There are lots of clit chicks who just gotta rub the button to climax.

Others are all about that G. Some women don’t like penetration at all, with or without a dildo. Others can’t get enough.

Everyone deserves to feel good. So if you love to be filled up, embrace your pleasure! 

But if you’re strap-on shy, don’t worry. We’ll walk you through the basics to get started with one of the best lesbian sex toys.

Just keep your mind and legs open. Cause fucking with a strap-on is crazy hot.


Table of Contents

What is A Lesbian Strap-On?

A lesbian strap-on is a strap-on dildo that’s attracted to other women. 

Kidding. 

It’s a strap-on dildo designed to be used by women who are attracted to other women. 

There’s no specific thing that makes a strap-on for lesbians, but there are toys designed for women having sex with women as opposed to, say, pegging

The difference is in the harnesses and the dildos themselves, as we’ll see.


3 Best Lesbian Strap On & Harness Kits

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Lovehoney Deluxe Harness Kit

best overall

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Lovehoney Advanced Harness Kit

best for beginners

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Tantus Intermediate Harness Kit

Price:
$$
$
$$$
Adjustable Harness:
Up to 67”
28”-65”
15-60”
O Rings:
3 sizes, stretchy
3 sizes, stretchy
2 sizes 1.25”, 1.5”

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best overall

1. Lovehoney Advanced Strap-On Harness Kit

Material:
Silicone
Dildo Length:
7 inches
Dildo Girth:
4 inches
Color:
Purple
Adjustable Harness:
28-65 inches
O-Rings:
3 sizes, stretchy
Price:
$40
  • Bullet pocket for vibrations
  • Curved for G-spot stimulation
  • Not too realistic looking
  • Machine washable harness
  • Affordable
  • Comfortable
  • May be too big for beginners
  • Dildo on the harder side
  • Thin tip
  • Rings can get stretched out with use

If you want a serious *bang* for the buck, you can’t go wrong with this curved 7-inch G-spot dildo and harness.

It is superior quality, will deliver orgasms for ages, and won’t break your bank. Score!

The harness in this kit fits with ease — not too tight and with a padded front that won’t rub awkwardly.

It’s still sturdy enough that the dildo will stay firmly in place, so you don’t have to.

This harness will give you all the security you need to explore all those kama sutra positions — and thrust with full abandon!

The harness has a wide range of adjustability making it a great choice for a variety of body types.

But, if you aren’t using the full range of strap, the excess can dangle annoyingly. Not to worry — once you’ve adjusted it to fit, just give it a trim. 

As for the dildo itself: it is silky soft with a delicious slope that curves right into the G-spot. It’s sleek looking and not too realistic for a pleasing visual. 

However, it’s a bit on the hard side (not in a nice way). If you prefer more flexibility to your dildo, you can swap out other dildos.

Three rings are included in the kit, so you have true flexibility to create the perfect experience for you and your woman.

Extra perk? A bullet pocket for the wearer’s pleasure. 


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2. Lovehoney Deluxe Strap-On Harness Kit

Material:
Silicone
Length:
8”
Girth:
5.9”
Color:
Black
Adjustable Harness:
Up to 67”
O Ring Included:
3 sizes, stretchy
Price:
$55
  • BIG pleasure
  • 2 dildos included (BIG and a smaller warm-up dildo)
  • Suction cup base
  • Secret bullet strap
  • No midsize dildo included
  • Not very flexible
  • On the pointy side

This deliciously intimidating dildo kit will fill you up to your full pleasure.

It is classy, all-black and at nearly 6 inches of textured girth, is by far the best strap-on for girls who like it BIG.

This dildo is also super versatile with a flared suction cup base allowing you to attach it to the floor or wall.

Super fun for solo play — or getting weird with your partner!

The kit also includes a smaller, sidekick dildo (5.6” length / 3.6” girth). Super smooth and skinny, it’s great for anal play.

Do note that swapping out the two dildos in the middle of a romp can take some serious suave, cause you’ll have to switch out the rings too.

Like our last selection, the harness is of top-notch quality and will stay put while you get freaky.

It is super easy to put on and comfortable, making it a cinch to trade out if both partners want a ride.

It also allows for easy access to the crotch of the wearer, which is an extra perk. 

The excess straps can hang wild, so you’ll have to trim them if this is the case.

While the size is the best part of this big hunk of pleasure, the kit includes a third ring size for even bigger dildos.

So if you want to keep moving up, oh yeah… This harness will accommodate.

Go easy in the beginning, cause your mare might spook when she sees the girth on this sucker.

If it’s too much for you/her, read on – you’ll like the next one!


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3. Tantus Intermediate Vibrating Strap-On Harness Kit

Material:
Silicone
Length:
5” and 6.5”
Girth:
3.5” and 4.5”
Color:
Black or purple
Adjustable Harness:
15-60”
O-rings Included:
2 sizes 1.25” and 1.5”
Price:
$90
  • Sleek look
  • 2 dildos included
  • Vibrating bullet included
  • Choice of colors
  • Weird bullet placement 
  • Very subtle curve
  • Pricey

The Tantus Kit is a non-intimidating lesbian strap on for beginners.

Warm your gal up with the smaller silicone dildo and graduate to the bigger size, as she begs for more!

The bulbous head and smooth body open the vaginal canal and make it easy to thrust with some passion.

It is curved for G-spot penetration, but the curve is subtle. For a more pronounced curve, scroll back up to the Lovehoney’s Kit. 

The strong nylon harness features a velvet padded front for a soft pelvic experience.

It will give you total control over your pleasure without rubbing you the wrong way. 

This kit even comes complete with an included, one-speed bullet vibrator to ring all the bells.

It slides into a pocket on the wearer’s pelvis for clitoral stimulation and can even buzz hard enough to send vibrations up the shaft of the dildo.

On the other hand, the bullet is awkwardly placed. Some might find it ineffectual or even painful.

You can remove it if it doesn’t feel good. But if you’re lucky, it’ll fit right at your clit and might just be your favorite thing! 


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4. Desire Luxury Strapless Strap-On

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
4.5” and 5”
GIRTH:
4.75” and 4.25”
COLOR:
Black or purple
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
Not included
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
N/A
PRICE:
$99
  • Waterproof
  • Flexible
  • Strong vibration in both shafts
  • 12 speeds and 8 patterns
  • Pony is pretty thick 
  • Rabbit ear vibes are weak
  • Buttons are fiddly during use

Strapless strap-on might sound like an oxymoron. And strictly speaking, it is. 

Most of them are either really uncomfortable or don’t work, or both. 

But the Desire Luxury is an exception to the rule. 

It’s got a flexible pony (the bit that goes inside the wearer to hold on to) that makes it highly adjustable for better comfort than most strapless double dildos. 

And you can change the angle of penetration easily, which helps a lot for sex in different positions. 

What’s more, it comes with some decently rumbly vibrations that satisfy both partner’s G-spots. 

The clitoral arm for the wearer is another story: it’s weak and barely noticeable compared to the internal vibration. So if clitoral stimulation is required, you might want something with more oomph. 

There are 8 patterns and 12 vibration intensities to choose from, so there’s enough variety to please everyone involved.

The pony is thick, but not as bulbous as many competitors. So it’s easier to hold onto while remaining comfortable enough to actually use. 

You’ll still need some strong pelvic floor muscles to keep it in there, so make sure you’re doing those Kegels! 


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5. Doc Johnson Silicone Hollow Remote Control Strap-On Set

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
9”
GIRTH:
7”
COLOR:
Black
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
28”- 48”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
N/A
PRICE:
$149.99
  • Big thick dildo 
  • Lovely feeling silicone
  • Comfortable elastic waistband
  • Might be too big 
  • Mediocre battery life 
  • Quite hard

Do you wanna bang your partner with something big THAT ALSO VIBRATES? Well, here’s something for you. 

This long and girthy silicone strap-on from Doc Johnson has a remote-controlled vibrating function with 3 speeds and 7 patterns to choose from, so your clit will be happy while you’re keeping your partner happy (or vice versa). 

The harness has an elastic waistband that’s easy to put on and take off, so you can be ready faster than your partner can strip! 

The dildo is hollow and firm, which makes it easy to work with and put inside a partner. But the hardness does mean it’s not for beginners who don’t like feeling stretched out. 

But it also makes it suitable for anal if someone’s up for a challenge.

Remember to use plenty of lube and get ready for an intense experience!


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6. Fetish Fantasy 7.5 Inch Ejaculating Hollow Strap-On

MATERIAL:
PVC
LENGTH:
7.25”
GIRTH:
6.25”
COLOR:
Black or purple
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
52”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
N/A
PRICE:
$69.99
  • Squirts up to 10 feet, neat party trick 
  • Elastic harness is convenient 
  • Nice thick dildo 
  • Hollow is easier to work with
  • Gimmick surely isn’t for everyone
  • Dildo isn’t detachable

If you’ve always wanted to ejaculate but don’t have the necessary equipment, don’t worry, there’s something for that. 

This thick, powerful strap-on dildo has a built-in reservoir that you can squeeze at the right moment to mimic an ejaculating penis

The manufacturer says that you can shoot up to 10 feet, which is more impressive than any real man I’ve ever heard of. 

The dildo itself is nice to use. 

It’s big, thick, and not too hard, so it’s fun to play around with. And because it’s hollow, that makes it easier to maneuver around and penetrate someone with (and a penis owner could wear it too). 

So it’s a good toy, as long as you like what you get. Because you’re stuck with it: the dildo isn’t removable, so you’d better be sure you want this.


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7. Happy Rabbit Vibrating Strap on

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
5”
GIRTH:
4”
COLOR:
Black or purple
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
15-60”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
2 sizes 1.25” and 1.5”
PRICE:
$99.99
  • Strong rumbly vibrations 
  • 3 O-rings included 
  • Many patterns to choose 
  • Nice color
  • Rabbit ears only work if you keep still 
  • Not the most comfortable harness 
  • Quite firm

Rabbits are fantastic. They’re great for blended 2-in-1 orgasms with both G-spot and clitoral stimulation. 

But most rabbits aren’t compatible with strap-on harnesses, so what’s a gal to do? 

How about one of these: a strap-on with a rabbit that actually fits it. 

The rabbit itself has nice rumbly vibrations and 15 intensity levels to choose from, so it’s a decent toy in its own right. 

Unfortunately, you can’t really slide in and out that much if you want the rabbit ears to stimulate your partner’s clit. But it offers a different way of moving that you might not consider otherwise. 

The harness fits most sizes, but the straps tend to dig into your thighs after a while. 

Fortunately, using the rabbit properly, you won’t need very long to make the magic happen!


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8. Lovehoney Beginner’s Strap-On Harness Kit

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
5”
GIRTH:
4.8”
COLOR:
Black
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
18-68”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
3 Rings 1.25” – 2”
PRICE:
$39.99
  • Dildo has great curve 
  • Good price 
  • Machine washable
  • Pocket for bullet vibes
  • Not good with heavy dildos 
  • Straps are fiddly

This affordable and machine washable harness is perfect for first-time buyers or couples who want to test the waters before investing in a higher-quality and higher-priced kit. 

The harness fits up to 68-inch waists, and there’s a pocket where you can put in a bullet vibrator to add some motion to the other kind of motion. 

The straps look kinda cheap. Because they are. 

But they are reasonably comfortable, more than you’d expect given the price. 

The included silicone dildo is basic but of decent quality. It’s small and not very impressive, but it’ll get the job done for newbies. 

And with 3 O-rings, you can replace the dildo with your own preferred options if you have them, so the harness will work long after you get bored of the included dong.

For more options, check out this list of the best strap ons for pegging.


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9. Doc Johnson Be Naughty

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
7”, 7.5”, 8”
GIRTH:
5.75”, 5.75”, 7”
COLOR:
Black
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
28” – 48”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
N/A
PRICE:
$189.99
  • 3 dildos included
  • Great non-anatomical shape
  • All dildos have integrated vibrators
  • Wireless remote included
  • Harness size isn’t very accommodating 
  • Short battery life

This Be Naughty kit features pretty much everything you need to get going with strap-on sex right out of the box. 

There’s a harness, which is adequate for the needs of the wearer. 

It’s pleasant enough to wear and looks fine, no complaints. Except maybe they could have made it a little more generous? It won’t fit larger-waisted people. 

But then we get to the main event. 

The dildos. Yes, plural. 

Be Naughty packs 3 dildos – a bulbous one, a slim one, and a monster dong that’s 7” in circumference. 

Each dildo fits seamlessly in the harness for a smooth installation, so you don’t have to mess with O-rings. 

And all of the dildos vibrate! 

They have a rechargeable bullet vibrator for added sensation that’s strong enough to add some extra fun to proceedings, along with a wireless remote control for convenience. 

It’s a winning package ideal for lesbian couples who want something hassle-free and quick to get started with. 


The Best Lesbian Strap-On Dildos

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1. Vixen Mustang VixSkin

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
6.5”
GIRTH:
5”
COLOR:
Flesh tones, rainbow
  • Great size for most people  
  • Luxurious material 
  • Beautifully colorful
  • Expensive
  • Lint and dust magnet

With dual-density silicone, a choice of gorgeous colors, including a melty kaleidoscope of rainbow colors, and a suction cup, the Vixen Mustang gets the nod as the top dildo for lesbians to have strap-on sex with. 

The 6.5 inches of insertable length make it a great choice of size for almost anyone, and it fits smoothly in a 1.5-inch O-ring, so it’s not too thick or thin. Just right. 

And that material is to die for! 

It’s squishy on the outside and firm on the inside, which is called dual-density

It’s taking the world of dildos by storm, and for a good reason. Vixskin is some of the best dual-density silicone you can get for a reasonable price. 

You can get it in flesh tones or the colorful rainbow one. Though, honestly, why anyone would choose a flesh-colored wang when you could have incredibly flamboyant and awesome is beyond me. 

The built-in suction cup isn’t the greatest – it won’t stick very well to a door, for example. 

But if you’re planning on using it with a harness, then it’s hard to imagine something better.

You can read more about Vixen Mustang here.


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2. Vixen Johnny VixSkin

MATERIAL:
Silicone
LENGTH:
7”
GIRTH:
5.75”
COLOR:
Flesh colors
  • Hits the G-spot 
  • Plush and comfortable despite size    
  • Top-quality silicone material
  • Realism isn’t for everyone  
  • Balls seem kinda pointless 

Johnny is a versatile and sizable dildo with plenty of tricks up its sleeve. 

It’s big, but you don’t have to be too intimidated by the size because it’s dual-density silicone. 

If you’ve used hard plastic dildos, you’ll understand the often unpleasant poking feeling. It can even be painful, especially with bigger sizes. 

But there’s none of that here, just a pleasant feeling and less lube needed to use the thing! 

It’s got a slight curve and a pronounced coronal ridge to hit the G-spot on the way in and out, so vagina havers who like penetration more than clit stimulation (or both) will love the feeling. 

If you can get past the balls, which aren’t exactly what most lesbians I know are looking for, you’re left with a top-quality dual density dildo that feels amazing.


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3. Mustang Royale

MATERIAL:
Vixskin Silicone
LENGTH:
6”
GIRTH:
4.7”
COLOR:
Vanilla, Caramel, Chocolate
  • Saddle base for clitoral stimulation 
  • Great sensations
  • Totally body-safe
  • No good if you don’t like realism
  • Annoying to clean and maintain

The Mustang Royale is a little more expensive than the original Mustang above. 

But when it comes to strap-on play, it’s easy to see where the money goes. 

See, Royale has a secret at the back. 

Instead of a suction cup, there’s a saddle base specifically designed for more fun strap-on play. 

The base is squishy and pleasant to touch, so when you’re wearing it, it can stimulate the clit to keep things interesting for the wearer. 

It feels great at the other end, too. 

It’s got some give to the material – nice and squishy, sort of spongy. 

If you’re not turned off by the realistic coloring and veins, then you’ll appreciate the attention to detail, just like all the Vixskin toys.

The Mustang Royale is a good size without being unpleasantly big or boringly small, right in the Goldilocks zone for most vagina-owners. 

And because it’s body-safe, it’s also appropriate for anal play. Well, it’s worth the moolah overall, especially if you use it mainly with a harness.


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4. Lifelike Lover Classic Realistic Dildo

MATERIAL:
Soft Plastic
LENGTH:
5”
GIRTH:
5”
COLOR:
Pale, brown, black 
  • Nice size and thickness 
  • Good value for money  
  • Non-intimidating for beginners
  • Soft plastic is not the best material 
  • Might be too flexible for some users

If you want a nice, realistic-feeling dildo that doesn’t burn a hole in your bank account, then look no further. 

The Lifelike Lover is a flesh-colored dildo with a pleasing thickness and friendly, non-intimidating length, even for beginners at strap-on play. 

It’s firm and workable but also bendy enough to allow some room for maneuver. That makes it easy to slip into a harness like the ones below without a fight. 

And it has texture, with veins and slight variations that deliver more sensation where you need it. 

The Lifelike Lover also has a suction cup if you’re not in the mood to pound your lover and instead feel like watching them do the work themselves. 

There are plenty of versatile options you can work with – all for a low price!


Top Harnesses for Lesbian Strap-Ons

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1. Aslan Jaguar G Leather Harness

MATERIAL:
Shiny Garment Leather
COLOR:
Black, Cherry
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
24”-44
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
2”
PRICE:
$105
  • Comfy for a leather harness 
  • Adjustable 
  • Sits lower to stimulate your clit
  • Only one O-ring included
  • Leather is hard to clean

The Aslan Jaguar G is a fantastic leather harness that manages to be both practical and surprisingly comfortable. 

Leather always looks great. But when worn against the skin, it will never win prizes for skin care. 

Yet you can wear the Jaguar G for much longer than most leather gear and not have red, itchy skin by the time you’re done. 

That’s quite the accomplishment before we even get into the rest of what this lovely contraption has to offer. 

There’s only one 2-inch O-ring included with the Jaguar G, but there is good news. 

You can remove and replace the O-ring with another one quite easily, thanks to the clever snap-out system. And you can get spare rings from any half-decent sex shop. 

And the dildo part actually sits lower than ordinary harnesses, making it a great choice for women having sex with women. Where it sits means it will stimulate the wearer’s clit while using the harness, so everyone enjoys it a bit more. 

The thong style looks good, and there’s even a lifetime guarantee if something goes wrong. This harness is so good that it’s even worth the extra hassle of cleaning the leather. And I hate cleaning, so that’s saying something.


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2. Spareparts Joque Harness

MATERIAL:
Poly-spandex
COLOR:
Black, Purple
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
20”-50”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
Flexible 1.25”-2”
PRICE:
$149.99
  • Elastic O-ring that works 
  • Superbly comfortable
  • Adjustable one size fits most design
  • Pockets to add your own bullet vibes
  • Pricey 
  • Slips around a bit during rough sex

If you’re looking for the best harness and don’t mind silly things like money (pfft, who does), then the SpareParts Joque is right up your alley. 

It does everything right – it’s incredibly comfortable and easy to put on and off. 

It’s adjustable from 20 inches all the way up to 50, so it will fit most people. 

And the O-ring is ELASTIC! What a stroke of genius. 

It will fit around a huge range of dildo sizes with no hassle, just get it in and… well, get it in! 

It should fit any dildo with a girth of between 1.2 and 2 inches in diameter, a big variety that should satisfy all but the most demanding of size queens. 

And despite being elastic rather than metal, the O-ring keeps the dildo firmly in place during sex. 

It might slip around a bit if things get rough or if there’s a lot of resistance (for example, if you’re doing anal), but it holds up admirably well. 

Could this be any better? Hmm… I guess if it weren’t so pricey? Then again, you’ll never need to buy another harness. So if you can afford it, you probably should.


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3. Sportsheets Strap-On

MATERIAL:
Neoprene
COLOR:
Neoprene
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
6”x2”x12”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
1.25”
PRICE:
$24.99
  • Leaves your hands free 
  • Adjustable and easy to wear
  • Comfortable and durable
  • O-ring is a bit small 
  • Tends to slip during extended play sessions 
  • Uncomfortable if you have sensitive skin

This thigh strap-on offers you something a bit different. 

Instead of going around your waist and covering your crotch, you can get one of these that straps around your THIGH

Then your partner can bounce up and down on your leg while you both have your hands free to explore each other’s bodies at a convenient distance! 

No more wrist cramps with one of these things. 

While this isn’t exactly a like for like replacement for a regular strap on, it makes a great addition to the repertoire of toys. 

It’s comfortable, machine-washable and made of strong yet soft neoprene, so you can wear it for a while. However it can get uncomfortable if you have sensitive skin. 

I love this thigh strap-on because it’s so versatile and enjoyable to use while leaving both partner’s sets of genitals free to get hands on along with the dildo itself. 

Plus if you get two then you can walk around with two dildos on your legs like a sexy Mad Max spinoff. And who doesn’t want that?


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4. Lovehoney Open-Back Harness Briefs

MATERIAL:
Lace
COLOR:
Black
ADJUSTABLE HARNESS:
27-52”
O-RINGS INCLUDED:
1.5”
PRICE:
$34.99
  • Crotchless for easy access
  • Comfortable and good-looking
  • Machine washable 
  • Also works with strapless dildos
  • O-ring isn’t changeable 
  • Some color choice might be nice

The first time I saw this, I thought, “finally, a harness that actually looks nice.”

And while that’s not entirely true, this style of harness-that-looks-like-underwear is something I’d like to see more of in the future.

It’s hot to think that you could wear these like ordinary panties all day before it’s time to meet your lover, at which point you just fit the dildo of choice and get going. 

They also have suspender clips for stockings (not included) if you feel like dressing up to be a little bit extra. 

One note on the size – you’ll want to get a size larger than you normally might as the chart seems to be a bit off from the actual measurements. That said, this harness comes in various sizes that should fit most humans. 

And they also work with strapless strap-ons to add more security and stable action, which I would highly recommend.


An Accessory Worthwhile for A Strap On

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One more accessory that is well worthwhile to include in your self created strap-on kit is the fabulous Sili Saddle.

These silicone lumps provide extra cushioning for the vulva, protecting it from strapon abuses — because we all know the pubic mound can take a real beating during a rowdy strap-on session! 

The Sili saddle will work with most harnesses and can be attached to the dildos with flat base.

It can even be worn when riding a bike!

Depending on your set up, you might need to wear panties beneath your harness to secure the Sili saddle in place. 


How to Use a Strap Ons and Strap On Dildos For Lesbians

Strap-ons can be a ton of fun. If you love to be taken by your woman, or you love to dominate your girl – a strap-on can take it up a hot notch.

Without further ado, here are some super tips to lube you up and slide you into your own personal strap-on extravaganza! 


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Know The Best Sex Positions

It will totally depend on the girls involved — after all, everyone has their preference. But doggy and missionary are always good standbys! 

It takes a lot of energy and muscle to be the top, so swap it up! Let the receiver ride cowgirl or reverse cowgirl on the wearer.

It’ll be an awesome workout for both of you!

Strap-on blowjobs can be pretty hot too. Seriously. Try it. 

And if both of you are into it, switch out who does the fucking.

It’ll help you both to brainstorm cool positions to try when you experience it from different points of view.

You’ll also discover different positions flow better depending on who is in what role. Plus it’s just hella fun to play both!

Pro Tip

If you’re fucking your lady from behind, turn the dildo to face the floor so the curve connects with her G-spot.


Thrusting is Hard.

One thing you’ll realize pretty quickly is that thrusting…well it ain’t easy! It takes a tremendous amount of ab strength for a sustained in-and-out. 

Plus, you’re not used to having an appendage sticking out the front of your pelvis, so it can feel pretty weird. 

So practice. Become familiar. Wear your strap-on around the house. Feel the weight of it. Notice how you carry yourself.

How do you sit, stand and walk now that you suddenly have a cock? Do you feel empowered? Or just awkward?

There are no right answers! The more you wear it, the more it will feel like an extension of yourself.

You can also use the dildo to masturbate with, to get an idea of what it feels like inside.

This will make you more intuitive at wielding the wand once the tables are turned!


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Harness Matters. A Lot.

A good harness is critical to a good strap-on experience. The wearer has to feel comfortable. No pulling, yanking, rubbing.

And definitely no falling off! Basically, the less time fiddling with your hardware during sex, the better. Obviously.

A really quality harness will make the strap-on feel like a part of you, so you can focus on love-making.


Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay!

Starting with a dildo right away is a stretch — literally. Get warmed up with some sexy foreplay.

Make out for a while with some teasing and fondling. Get your partner super turned on and relaxed.

Insert a finger, two, three. Then <<slowly>> begin to nudge the lubed up dildo inside.

Listen to her signals — both verbal and non-verbal. If she is tensing up too much, retreat.

Go down on her for a while and when she’s relaxed and moaning, try again.


When In Doubt, Use More Lube.

Lube just makes everything better. It helps slide the dildo in and is especially helpful if your partner is nervous or new to penetration.

Plus, lube helps prevent micro-tearing and thus supports an all-around healthy vagina! 

Water-based lubes are best and Sliquid is our all-time favorite. 


Upgrade The Size of The Dildo 

As part of your warm-up, start with a smaller dildo.

Once you’ve got her all hot and bothered and yearning for more, take it up a notch with a bigger size. The extra girth and length will make her gasp with pleasure. 


Orgasm Together 

Getting off together is super hot. A strapless strap-on can be great for both partners to have penetrative pleasure.

And you can always use fingers or bullets to stimulate the wearer’s clit while she thrusts. 

Another fun twist: let the receiver play with a remote control vibrator worn inside the wearer’s pussy.


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Add Kinks

Why stop at a strap-on? You can always incorporate other kinks. Tie her up, spank her, use restraints, blindfolds – whatever gets you going.

Playing into kinks can greatly intensify the pleasure of a strap-on for both the penetrator and the penetrated. 


Reach Out to The Community!

If you have more questions, check out this helpful Reddit community for lesbians.

You’re not alone! Plenty of others are happy to share all their know-how 🙂 


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What To Look For When Buying A Lesbian Strap-On

Finding a decent strap-on can be a challenge, so here are the most important things to look out for and check before you buy.

Vibrations

Some gals go nuts for the vibes, but others find them annoying.

If one of you likes them and the other doesn’t go for one with the vibrations. You can always turn it off… or incorporate the vibes when and where desired.


Dildo Size and Girth

What’s your pleasure? Maybe you prefer interchangeable dildos, so you can start skinny and curved to warm her up, pause for some oral, and then drive home with the full force of a 6-inch girth magnum…just a thought 😉

If you go for interchangeable, remember to watch out for O-ring sizes too to be sure the dildos will fit your harness.


Harness

A sure-fire way to kill the mood is with a harness that is unstable, irritating, falls off, or doesn’t hold the dildo in place.

The better harnesses will be pricier, but they are worth every penny.

You can start with a cheap kit if you’re just experimenting, but you may be disappointed with how much you’re really able to…experiment.

When choosing a harness also be sure to consider adjustability. If you need a plus size harness, for example, be sure it can accommodate you.


Flexibility

You want a harness and strap-on that are useful and versatile. Having the option to change O-rings and dildos can make the difference between having a viable option for any partner and a useless, wrong size strap-on that goes to waste in your closet. 


Cost

Price varies a lot, like with any sex toys. You can expect to pay upwards of $30 for a decent dildo and the same again for a harness. However, prices go all the way up to silly money if you’ve got the cash to splash on something really unique. 


Material

For strap-ons, silicone is almost always the best option. It’s body-safe, flexible, and easy to clean and store. 

Certain kinds of treated glass, some plastics, and even wood can make decent alternatives, but silicone beats all of them in some way. It’s cheaper and lighter than glass, and more hygienic than either plastic or wood. 


The Aesthetic

What look are you going for?

  • If the aesthetic is important to you, pick something you both think is sexy.
  • If realistic-looking dildos turn you off, for example, there are plenty of smooth options.

Strap-On FAQ

How Do Strap-Ons Work?

Strap ons work by simulating the penis-in-vagina experience. It’s achieved by one woman wearing a harness that holds a dildo.

It allows her to use the thrust of her hips and entire body to penetrate her partner, while also freeing up her hands and arms. It can greatly expand the possibilities for sexual play.


How Do You Put On A Strap-On?

How you put a strap-on on depends on the harness. Most commonly, you’ll step into the bands so that one is across your waist and one around each thigh.

Then tighten each to the point of comfort and security. Now you can insert the dildo through the O-ring so that the base sits firmly against the padding at your pelvic bone.


How Do You Have Sex With A Strap-On?

The easiest way to have sex with a strap on is to get warmed up with some sexy foreplay.

When you’re both turned on, step into the strap-on harness and adjust the straps. Lube up the dildo, make sure she is wet and ready and start slow and shallow.

Ask for her feedback as you slowly ramp up the speed.


How Much Does A Strap-On Cost?

Strap on prices vary a lot. You can get budget kits (that include harness + cheap silicone dildo) that will get you started for $40.

But, if you want extra quality for years of use, expect to pay at least $100 for a superior harness and another $100 for a first-rate dildo.


Can I Make A Strap-On?

You can make a strap-on harness, but you’ll need to have a flat-based dildo to use with it. There are lots of ways to make a rope harness with a wide range of complexity.

This is probably the most simple DIY harness that you can make in minutes with two scarves.


What’s The Best Size Dildo For A First Timer Strap-On User? 

The best size dildo will depend on the person. How comfortable are you with penetration in general? Do you like big dildos?

If so, you might be ok starting bigger. Then again, full-body thrusting is really different from handheld toys. When in doubt, start small.


How Do I Keep My Dildo Clean?

Keep your dildo clean by washing after every use with a specialty toy cleaner. Soap and water can do a pretty good job too if you only have one partner and no yeast/bacteria infection.

You can also boil silicone for 3 minutes or run it through the dishwasher on the sanitize cycle with no detergent. Make sure you remove any battery-powered vibrators before submerging! 


Can I Use All Dildos On All Strap-Ons?

No. Not every dildo works with every strap-on. First off, your dildo must have a flat base.

You also need an appropriately sized O-ring that securely holds your dildo in place on the harness. Most harnesses have the option to change out the O-ring and can usually accommodate a wide range of sizes.

However, even if you have an O-ring to fit a really small or really big dildo, it won’t necessarily fit the harness.


Your Strap-On Adventures Await!

If you crave full penetration — or you yearn for full-body power behind your thrusts — a strap-on can totally expand your sex life. 

A small blessing to send you on your way.

May your lesbian strap on exploits be ever expansive, pussy-dripping sexy, and fill you with endless, mind-bending orgasms!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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