Fleshlight vs Hand: How Do Fleshlights Feel Like?

If you haven’t tried a quality male masturbator like Fleshlight, you surely have a question – how good, realistic is it?

fleshlight versus hand illustration

I know, because I had the exact same question. My first experience with male masturbators was a cheap Ebay stroker, and it was disappointing. It took years for me to try another masturbator. And now I regret it.

While I suggest you read the whole guide… My advice is – get one quality Fleshlight, and you’ll never look back.

Fleshlight, Tenga, and Kiiroo masturbators are something completely different than the vagina, hand, or anything else. 

Don’t expect a mind-blowing, ethereal experience, but expect to be pleasantly surprised (def 3x upgraded handjob). 

But read on:

What Does A Fleshlight Feel Like? Does It Feel Like A Real Thing?

As I’ve mentioned, there are many different models of Fleshlights with many different textures designed to give different pleasure experiences.

You can even pair it with a mount or accessory like the ones in this guide for a better experience.

Fleshlight Shower Mount

Fleshlight Shower Mount

Since you frequently use your favorite Fleshlight in the shower, how about making some upgrades? Do you want to make your bathroom fantasies that much more passionate and steamy?

Well, the Fleshlight Shower Mount is just the right fit, providing an adjustable, suction-based attachment that lets you stick your toy to the bathroom walls safely, having you experience the best sensations you’ll ever have without using your hands.

Liberator Fleshlight On A Mission

Liberator Fleshlight On A Mission

The Liberator On A Mission Mount delivers the sexual excitement that will make your private sessions unforgettable.

This mount is made of faux leather, suited for both solo masturbation and hands-free use. And for those who prefer to have sex in the missionary position, this accessory provides you with a much-needed sense of dominance to satisfy your inner desires.

I have to warn you: It doesn’t matter which texture or style you choose; a Fleshlight will never feel exactly the same as the real thing. 

However, it does feel amazing and can enhance your solo play quite a lot. 

When you’re not using it, the fleshlight feels wet and cold. It’s kind of sticky and squishy.

The material is very delicate, so you have to be careful with it when you’re handling it. 

It’s not recommended to use a Fleshlight without lube or soaking it in the water first, as it won’t feel good, and you can be disappointed. 

And you want to enhance your solo play experience, not ruin it, right?

Let’s look at how fleshlight feels like, compared with different parts of human flesh:

Fleshlight vs Hand

Fleshlight Vs Hand

I’m going to be very honest with you here:

If you’re going to compare the fleshlight with masturbating with your hand, fleshlight wins most of the time. 

While masturbating with your hand is the easiest and quickest way to masturbate, it gets boring very quickly. 

Fleshlight has a lot of different models with unique textures that make masturbation so much more pleasurable. 

It offers bumps, ridges, and bristles that your hand cannot offer you, so if you want a step up from your hand, fleshlight might be the toy for you. 

Any Fleshlight from any collection will be great for you, so go to their website and spend some time getting to know each model. 

What men are saying about Fleshlight vs. hand on Reddit: 

“If you’re thinking about getting one just get it. You won’t regret it.”


Reddit user

I have the same experience: it’s definitely better than hand. At the least, it will add variety to your masturbation experience.

Just don’t get a cheap knockoff toy – either get a good Fleshlight or stick to the hand.

Fleshlight Vs Vagina

Fleshlight vs Vagina

Let’s move on to comparing the Fleshlight with a real vagina. 

Here, I’m going to have to disappoint you: 

It does not feel like the real thing. 

Some men say that it does feel as close as a fake thing can come to feel like a real vagina, and it’s all due to their signature SuperSkin material.

However, some men say that it doesn’t come anywhere close to the real vagina. 

So, I guess you’ll have to make your own judgment here. 

To me, however, it does feel close to the real thing – especially when mixed with porn. I can easily convince myself I am having sex with the girl in the video by mimicking the thrusts happening there.


Now, one thing that does feel similar to a real vagina is penetration. 

Every Fleshlight is designed in a way where they all have a slight tightening at the entrance of it so that when you’re penetrating the sleeve, there is a bit of resistance. 

The same thing happens when you’re penetrating the vagina. 

Now, there are a few things you can do to make your fleshlight feel closer to a real vagina:

Pro Tip

You can warm up the sleeve and the lube before each use, so it does feel more like the real thing. 

The easiest way to warm up the sleeve is by leaving it in the warm water and warming the lube the same way. 

Sliquid Sizzle

Or you can use the Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer with the lube to heat things up a bit more. 

And if you want something that feels realistic, you might want to try the Classic Pink Lady model.

Original Pink Lady

Classic Pink Lady

Here’s what other men are saying about fleshlight vs. vagina on Reddit:

“I bought one when i was married because my ex-wife was in the army and out of town a lot or I was gone to do school. It was great, the clean up was a little awkward but not bad.

The feeling was very close for me when you heat it up to the right temp. I came crazy quick. That said, nothing feels as good as being between those thighs, grabbing that ass and tits and squeezing while you lick all over each other and drool over each others tongues.

Fuck I love fucking.”


Reddit user

“The sensation of penetration is somewhat similar, but there are key differences that make for a very different experience.”


Reddit user

Fleshlight Vs Blowjob

Fleshlight Vs Blowjob

Now, if you want to compare the Fleshlight with a blowjob, I have to say that it can feel pretty similar. 

While no toy or machine out there will ever feel the same as the lips, mouth, and tongue combo in real life, fleshlight can simulate the feeling of the blowjob quite well. 

Fleshlight has a collection called Fleshlight Turbo that has sleeves designed specifically to imitate the feeling of a blowjob. 

Fleshlight Turbo Thrust

Fleshlight Turbo

So, if you’re looking for something that might replicate a blowjob, I would look into getting a Fleshlight from this collection specifically.

I have written a guide in the past about the Turbo collection here, so do read it to see if it might be right for you.

And here’s what other men are saying about Fleshlight Turbo vs. blowjobs on Reddit:

Either the Thrust or the Ignition. They’re both pretty intense.

The Ignition is a little tighter and a little more textured. Most people equate it to a standard bj.

The Thrust is more smooth and most ppl equate it to a sloppy bj.

You can’t go wrong either way. So just pick your poison.


Reddit user

“I got a free turbo ignition from the BF sales, its quite like a BJ, and being able to thrust it all the way in for a “deepthroat” style feel is pretty nice. The feeling is also quite a change up from some of the FLG series sleeves so its pretty pleasurable.

The free floating “lip, tongue and throat” does a pretty good job to stimulate but of course its not going to be anything like a real BJ cause its just a toy. Definitely better than just the usual hand stuff, and its given out for free again with an arguably better Christmas sale, so no harm in getting one for free.

The only complaint is they made the rear cap angled for some unknown reason, and now it cant stand on both ends like a normal FLG case would be able to.”


Reddit user

Fleshlight Vs sex

Fleshlight vs Sex

Similarly, like with the vagina, you can’t really compare fleshlight with sex. 

It’s two very different things, and not only because fleshlight is plastic. 

During sex, there is intimacy with a partner, and more physical movement is involved. 

There is kissing and touching involved that you can’t replicate with a fleshlight. 


While it’s never going to feel just like the real thing, you can do a few things to improve it. 

One of the things is that you can warm up the sleeve and the lube, so it gives that familiar warmth of the real vagina. 

Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer

Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer

And, you can prop your Fleshlight on a shoe or on your sofa, creating an experience where you have to move your body just like during sex and not only your hand. 

While it’s not going to make it feel like sex, it will improve the overall experience, and it might be a good thing to switch things up from time to time. 

Here is what other men have to say about Fleshlight vs. sex on Reddit:

“It’s the tendency of men, particularly those without much experience, to think that the penis to vagina contact is the only relevant sensation in sex.

Toys are fine. Nothing wrong with playing with toys, at all. But, actual sex with someone you connect with is altogether different. The human body has nearly infinite ways to provide pleasure, and so the difference is sort of like taking a bath vs. swimming in the ocean.

The sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and sensations are a full-body experience. It’s not just your dick that experiences sex.”


Reddit user

“It is a hell of a lot closer to the real thing than a hand, that is for sure.

Those who say it isn’t close at all I think are not considering just the physical sensation of it, but more comparing the total experience of sex with a woman to sex with a Fleshlight.

From a purely physical standpoint some Fleshlights are more stimulating than a vagina. They can be tighter and have all sorts of exotic shapes on the inside that are just obviously not possible for a real woman.

For example, I have one that I can barely use for more than a minute or two without finishing but can have sex with my partner for 20 or 30 minutes no problem. Still wouldn’t pick that over a roll in the sheets with the wife, though.”


Reddit user

Is It OK To Use A Fleshlight?

So, now that you know how Fleshlight feels compared to the real thing, let’s talk about the stigma surrounding it. 

While most of the sex talk is still considered to be taboo even in 2020, it’s way more acceptable for a woman to own a vibrator or a dildo than for a man to own a Fleshlight. 

And it’s a very toxic mindset. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with men owning and using Fleshlights, so you don’t have to worry about being a ‘creep’. 

There are many benefits that come with using a Fleshlight:

  • You can improve your sexual stamina so that you last longer during sex. 
  • You can improve your sensitivity issues by using it with a condom.
  • You can satisfy your massive sex drive or certain desires if your partner is just not capable or doesn’t have the same drive. 
Stamina Training Unit

Stamina Training Unit

So, as you can see, there are many benefits of using a fleshlight that can actually improve your sex life. 

There is nothing wrong with men using Fleshlights the same way there is nothing wrong with you using any other sex toy as long as you’re not hurting anyone. 

As for other male sex toys we highly recommend, here are a few options you might want to check out: 

Kiiroo Keon

When it comes to the best-simulated blowjobs, the Kiiroo Keon is your ideal pair. It synchronizes with VR, has real-time connectivity with other toys, comes with high-end sleeves, and does so much to satisfy your tingling sensations. And if that isn’t enough, the Feel Strokers are just as good as the Fleshlights, which says a lot about the product if you already didn’t consider its speed and power. 

You can check our in-depth review here. And for other references, you can also take a look at the list of the best blowjob machines and penis-milking machines.  

Lelo Hugo

LELO Hugo is for you if you know the most effective vibrations for stimulating your P-spot. It’s a high-quality massager that provides continuous, strong vibrations, making most prostate owners orgasm to their heart’s content. 

See an in-depth review of this product for more information. Or you could also check out our rundown on the best prostate massagers of 2023.

JeJoue Mio

The JeJoue Mio is an excellent choice if you only care about raw power. It’s one of the rumbliest cock rings I’ve ever tried. And you can use it for up to 2 hours, testing out 25 different speed and pattern combinations.

Check out our list of the best vibrating cock rings, and non-vibrating cock rings to know more.

Fuck Me Silly 2 Extreme

The Fuck Me Silly 2 Extreme is one of the best sex doll torsos you can get if you prefer to go Missionary in bed. The two openings are just as intricate, the canal is deep enough to go all in, and the boobs are nice and huge. One can say it’s perky and perfect, to say the least!

For other alternatives, see our article on the best fake pussy and best pocket pussy. And if you want to find something on the affordable side, you can also check out our roundup of the best cheap sex dolls for men.

Vixen Colossus

The Vixen Colossus is one of the more popular options for average-sized men who wish to get the pornstar treatment in an instant. It’s one of the highest-quality sleeves on the market right now. And if you have erectile dysfunction, it’s arguably one of the best temporary fixes to be more confident in bed.

See our list of the best penis sleeves for more information.

You can also check out the Holster and Ride-On for products similar to the Colossus.

What people are saying about this stigma on Reddit:

“May partner has a few. I think they’re cool.

He’s a bit embarrassed about it, mostly due to the social stigma attached to them. But I don’t see any difference between his toys and mine.

There’s a (in my opinion, bad) double standard when it comes to men using sex toys for pleasure. Our society looks down on the idea of the lonely, single, guy who watches porn and uses a fleshlight.

And, while I agree there can be negatives when it comes to obsessive behaviors, using a fleshlight doesn’t automatically mean a person has issues. If used in a healthy way, sexual release with the assistance of toys is just that- sexual play.”


Reddit user

“I’m all in favor of sex toys. Fleshlights, prostate massagers, rings, vibes, electro sex stuff, whatever. As long as it’s not getting in the way of your life, have a little fun.”


Reddit user


So, here you have it – everything you need to know about how the Fleshlight feels like compared with the real thing. 

If you’ve ever wondered how it compares with sex real vaginas, now you know, and I hope that it helped you make up your mind about whether it’s worth getting it or not.

I think it’s always worth experimenting and trying new things when it comes to improving your sex life. 

So, if you’re interested, don’t be shy and get one for yourself!

Want to check out how Fleshlight compares to other products? Check out our Fleshlight vs Tenga guide.

And if you want affordable options, see our best cheap Fleshlights list of 2023. 

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.