The Ultimate Anal Training Guide for Beginners

In this anal training guide, we’ll talk about everything you need to know and every step you need to take to prepare your body for some ASSome anal play.

Interested to try anal play? Congratulations! You’ll be in for a whole new world of A-ma-zing orgasmic pleasures.

But wait!

Anal play is not something you can get into just because you want to. It’s not impossible, either. But it’s a sextivity that needs prep work before you dive into it, despite what pop culture, movies, or porn might have you think.

HOW? Anal training.

These are a series of exercises to help prepare your anus for any sort of anal play you want to get into. Hold that incoming groan after reading the word “exercise,” as anal training can be fun and even pleasurable! *wink wink*

Without further ado, let’s go ahead and get into all the details you need to know about anal training.

What is anal training?

Anal training is exactly what it sounds like: training your anus.

It prepares your anus to receive butt sex by doing certain steps to stretch it gradually over time.

Why? Well, look at it this way. Stand up and try to split. You can’t, right? Of course! You would need to stretch and train your muscles before doing it.

It’s the same as your anus.

Your anal sphincter isn’t accustomed to some levels of stretching. Therefore, it will need prep work to loosen up, which could take a few weeks, or even months, to master.

The training length varies from person to person, so there is no definite time frame.

Luckily, anal training is one of the fun parts of anal play. It’s not boring or tiresome. And you would thank yourself for all your work when you finally get to start anal sex. Cheers!

Basically, the anus has two sphincters:

  • An inner anal sphincter you can’t control, and
  • An outer anal sphincter you can train to relax and open.

Anal training lets you get your body accustomed to different toys and body parts, as you wish—gradually.

You can do anal training solo or with a partner. And you don’t have to think of it as a chore, as it can be an erotic experience.

With your partner, anal training and anal sex are great elements to add to your power dynamic plays—like when you’re in a dominant/submission relationship or roleplay. Of course, it’s also something you can explore on sensual Sunday nights in the shower.

How to start anal training?

Have the right mindset

Not everyone will be onboard for any type of anal play. Even people interested in it can still feel a bit daunted at the idea. That’s okay and normal. We’ve been exposed to many stereotypes, misinformation, and taboos surrounding anal sex.

First, you should relax and feel comfortable about the idea.

Why? When you’re anxious or afraid, your muscles will tense up and tighten—especially your butt. It won’t welcome any object that tries to enter.

So how would you feel relaxed about it? First, educate yourself about the topic. The more you know, the less you’ll feel scared. In fact, you’ll be more excited about the idea and the potential sensations you’ll experience.

And besides, the primary purpose of anal training is to train your body.

You don’t have to worry about doing something you’re not ready for. There are a lot of pleasurable A-activities that don’t need penetration. You can start with anal massage and analingus (anal, oral sex).

Familiarize your backdoor

No one knows your body as you do.

So while it’s fun to bring your partner into the mix, it’s essential if you try solo anal masturbation first.

This helps you familiarize yourself with your body—what you enjoy, what feels uncomfortable, and so on. You won’t be pressured to “perform” for anyone, so you can truly explore.

Not nice? You can just stop and continue the next time.

So, how do you start?

The best place to start is in the shower. You have access to soap and water, so you don’t have to worry about making any “accidents”—in case you’re worried about stuff that starts with P.

You can massage your anus and get used to the feeling. If you’re curious, you can also try dipping your finger into your bumhole just to see how it feels.

It’s also a good time to locate your two anal sphincters. The external one will push your finger out. The internal one will suck it in.

Relax and breathe in to help the external sphincter relax. These simple exercises help you familiarize yourself with your body, making you feel more confident when your partner joins in.

Lube, Lube, Lube

Something to note

It’s non-negotiable. Lubricants are a-must for any type of anal play.

The vagina is made to take things in (for procreation). It self-lubricates, and it’s more “elastic.” The butt doesn’t.

You need lube to glide a finger, sex toy, or penis in. It eliminates friction to make insertion more seamless and avoid potential tearing in the skin. Skin tears could be painful and be a window for bacterial infections to come in.

Use sex toys

You can always start with your finger. It’s right there—you don’t have to buy anything else. Plus, it’s not too big or long, making it perfect for anal beginners.

But sex toys are really good companions for anal training. They come in different sizes and shapes. It helps you graduate from different sizes gradually.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can’t go from zero to penis within one (or two) sessions. This is because your anal sphincters are strong yet delicate.

What sex toys should you buy?

Anal training kits are good toys to start with because they are butt plugs that come in sets. By getting the set, you can size up comfortably. It’s also familiar for your butt to take in the toy as it comes in the same material and shape, just in different sizes.

The They-Ology 5-Piece Wearable Silicone Anal Training Set by CalExotics is good. It starts really small—the width of the smallest anal plug is only 1.03 inches with a 3.5-inch insertable length. It’s slim, smooth, and doesn’t have extra designs, making it butt-friendly for newbies.

They-Ology 5-Piece Wearable Silicone Anal Training Set by CalExotics

Another really good kit is this B-Vibe Anal Training & Education Set. It’s REALLY made for anal training and got everything you would need as you become ready for more anal pro.

B-Vibe Anal Training & Education Set

It has a total of 7 pieces in the kit. The smallest butt plug is designed to feel like a finger, perfect when you’re graduating from finger to sex toy. The medium butt plug is bigger with VIBRATION. The largest butt plug is non-vibrating, but it’s weighted with balls that give you a sensual sensation of fullness when wearing. It also already has a lubricant applicator, anal enema, instructional anal guide, and zipper travel bag.

Pro Tip

When looking for a sex toy, choose one made for anal play. It should have a FLARED base. 

Remember how the internal anal sphincter sucks in things? Well, it’s strong. And you wouldn’t want your toy to be inside your body! (That will call for a trip to the emergency room.)

A toy with a flared base will anchor it outside your body. Basically, its base should be wider than the widest part of the toy.

No rush

Take your time. Anal training is a marathon, not a race. So there shouldn’t be a deadline.

It could take days, weeks, or months. Each body is different and has its own time frame. But you’ll get there.

Things you should know about anal training

The previous steps are just the start. Anal training is not a one-time thing. Having as many tips as you can on your sleeve can help you prepare better. 

#1: Anal training is not a one-time thing

You don’t do anal training JUST ONCE.

Let’s say your anal training has let you take in a medium or large butt plug, a dildo, or a penis. Time passed, and you didn’t engage in any type of anal play again. It could be days or weeks. 

When you do it again, you find yourself back to square one. You felt some resistance again.

Just because you’ve taken in a certain size before doesn’t mean you can force it into your body. So avoid pushing it in if it’s very tight.

That’s because the anus is surrounded by muscles.

The anal sphincter is a strong muscle that does a really good job at letting things out. It ensures things don’t enter your body. So over time, if you stop training, they will resume tightening up.

#2: Time, patience, and lube

Do a TPL mantra: time, patience, and lube.

Don’t be in a hurry. Make sure you’re in the right headspace before engaging in anal play. If you’re planning for some anal sex later, prep your butt by wearing a plug throughout the day.

Enjoy the sensations and experience. It could take some time to reach your goal, especially if you’ve stopped anal training for a bit. In fact, it shouldn’t be too goal-oriented. It’s the journey, not the destination.

Never forget to use lube, regardless of what type of anal play you’re doing. Lube, lube, and lube some more. Be generous with your portions for pleasurable A-orgasmic fun.

#3: Kegel exercises can help

When someone says “Kegels,” people immediately think, “Ah, for the vagina.”


Men, or people with a penis, have pelvic floor muscles too! They also affect sexual function, so building those muscles is just as beneficial for men as for women.

For long-term butt health, you can do Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles that surround your anal sphincters.

It’s easy. Here are simple steps for Kegel exercises for your anus:

  • Locate your pelvic floor muscles. Don’t know where they are? Try holding in your poo. Those muscles you’re squeezing are activating your pelvic floor muscles.
  • Squeeze those muscles and hold for 5 seconds. Release for 5 seconds. Repeat. Do this session in 3 or 4 sets in a row. Once you’re better at it, try doing it in intervals of 10 seconds.
  • Concentrate. Don’t use muscles in your abs or butt to truly exercise the pelvic floor.
  • Practice, practice, practice. It’s an exercise you can do anytime, anywhere, and without using any equipment. Try to do 3 sets of 10 reps per day.
  • Once you’re better at it, it will be too easy. Increase the pressure by adding in a weighted butt plug like the small B-Vibe Snug Plug. The extra weight + pressure in the butt makes doing the exercise more effective.

B-Vibe Snug Plug

#4: Anal hygiene is a-must

It’s quite rare for poop to make a cameo when you’re doing any kind of anal play. It’s quite high up in the rectum, so you don’t have to really worry about it.

That said, you’re still playing at the backdoor. Poop still passes there. So it’s essential to know the basics of anal hygiene:

  • From 30 to 60 minutes before you do anal play, empty your bowels. This also helps give you peace of mind if you feel like you want to poop while doing it (mostly, you’re not). Washing with water and regular soap is enough. Unscented baby wipes work too.
  • You may use enema 1 to 2 hours before playing for a deep clean. This way, you can rinse 6 to 8 inches of the rectum. Use enough cups of water as using too much might stimulate the digestive system and make the process messier.
  • Towel up during anal play to protect your bedsheets. You can prevent potential stains and collect any bodily fluids, lube, or fecal matter with ease.
  • Gloves can help protect your hands (or if you’re afraid to touch or smell poop accidentally). Medical and nitrile gloves are good. You might avoid latex gloves, though, as some people are allergic to latex.
  • Don’t double-dip, okay? If you dip into the butt, don’t dip it into the vagina. Wash your hands first to avoid transferring bacteria into the vag, which is very sensitive to infections.

#5: Don’t worry—anal play won’t make you “loose”

As we mentioned, even if you’ve taken in larger things into your butt, it will tighten after a while of not engaging in anal play again.

The anal sphincter being open to taking in things isn’t permanent. It will bounce back right after. Anal play won’t make you “loose” regardless of how BIG you go.

Anal training doesn’t make penetration easier because your butthole becomes looser or bigger. You’re able to take things in because you’ve developed better control. Isn’t that cool?


Anal training takes time, practice, and LOTS of lube.

Be kind to yourself and always listen to your body. Resistance is your body’s way of saying “stop.”

As long as you practice safe anal play, you’ll have a pleasurable and even orgasmic anal play experience.

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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