How To Gape Your Ass [2024]: Train Your Asshole NOW!!

Want to learn how to gape your ass but have got no time to lose and read a long tutorial? Then let’s get right into the most important part!

How To Gape Quickly Answered

Start the anal gaping session by emptying your bowels. Follow up with an anal douche or a homemade anal douche. Relax and warm up using foreplay and oral sex. Then, insert a gaping toy or your partner’s penis. Use gentle circular motions and in-and-out movements to loosen the sphincters and produce a gape.

Why Learn How To Anal Gape, And What’s The Fuss All About?

Okay, let’s be honest here: gaping sex is not everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, it’s one of the more extreme forms of anal play out there — but many people (both men and women!) find it incredibly arousing. 

What Is Anal Gaping?

A “gape” is just what it sounds like: an opening of the anus caused by prolonged anal sex. Basically, if you thrust hard and long enough, the sphincters will loosen up to a point where they need an hour — or even longer — to tighten back up after you remove the sex toy or penis.

Why Are Some People Into Gaping Sex? 

Why do people engage in any kind of sexual activity? Because it brings them pleasure, of course. 

Why Are Some People Into Gaping Sex? 

For some, extreme gaping is a way to push their limits to the maximum. They get a kick out of inserting the biggest toys or experiencing the most intense feeling of fullness possible. 

Other people see gaping as a type of power play. Seeing just how much space your penis takes up in your partner’s anus makes you feel dominant like few other things can. And if you are more of a sub, gaping can be a great way to please your master and submit yourself at their mercy. 

How To Prepare For Gape Training?

Here is a list of the things you will need to make the most of your anal gaping session:

  • High-quality lube
  • An anal douche nozzle, a hand pump, or an enema bag
  • A saltwater solution (for the enema)
  • Towels — to keep potential messes to a minimum 
  • A selection of different-sized gaping toys (optional)

Dangers & Safety Precautions

Dangers & Safety Precautions For Anal Gaping

First things first. Before we get into the step-by-step tutorial, we should get one thing straight: as any form of anal play, gaping has its risks.

Tears and Tissue Damage

For one, you could tear or damage your anus, which is never fun. That’s usually the result of anal sex that’s a little too long, a little too enthusiastic, or involves gaping toys that are larger than you can handle. Or you just didn’t use enough lube. 

One thing to bear in mind here is that the muscles in your butthole are more delicate than those in the vagina. So, what may be business as usual when it comes to vaginal sex can be surprisingly painful — and even risky — in the context of anal play. 

The takeaway?

Go slow and gentle, use plenty of lube, and always start with smaller-sized toys and gradually build your way up.

If you do end up with a tear, stop immediately and give your asshole a break until it recovers fully. I’m sure you can come up with other cool ways to amuse yourself and your partner in the interim.

STIs and STDs

Because the anal muscles are so delicate and thin, unfortunately, it’s a lot easier to get sexually transmitted infections or diseases anally than vaginally. 

And if that wasn’t enough, gay and bisexual men — who tend to have more anal sex — are 17 times more likely to develop HPV-associated anal cancer than men who only have sex with women.

So, folks: please, practice responsible sex. It’s better to be safe than sorry. 

Source: WebMD

Prolapsed Anus

Finally, we have the joys of rectal prolapse. However, as of yet, there is no definitive proof that anal gaping is the cause of that condition. You can also get it as a result of childbirth or other causes. In any case, though, it’s something to keep in mind. 

Source: WebMD

How To Gape Your Ass: A Step-By-Step Guide

How To Anal Gape: A Step-By-Step Guide

Step 1: Empty Your Bowels

You should begin any anal gaping session by emptying your bowels. If you want, you can take a gentle laxative to help speed things up. You could take over-the-counter medication or go for natural alternatives such as Senna extract, castor oil, or prunes.

Sources: National Library of Medicine, National Library of Medicine, National Library of Medicine

Step 2: Give Yourself An Anal Douche or Enema

It’s also a good idea to give yourself an anal douche or an enema. That will minimize the risk of any smelly surprises that could ruin the mood.

Typically, a good old douche is all you need for standard anal sex. Simply attach a douche nozzle to your shower hose or use a hand-held anal pump to introduce water up your butt and expel any leftover fecal matter. 

Clean Stream Deluxe Shower Enema Set

Clean Stream Deluxe Shower Enema Set

However, as gaping is a bit more extreme and you will be diving — and probably staring — quite deep in there, you might want to be more thorough and give yourself an enema. All you need is an enema bag and a saltwater solution that you can normally purchase from your local pharmacy. 

Head over to your bathroom, pour the solution into the bag, and ensure that the clamp is shut. Then, hold the bag with the hose pointing downward and open the clamp briefly to let out any air bubbles — you do not want these introduced into your colon. 

Lube up the end of the hose and gently insert it up to four inches into your rectum (but no more!). To help the hose get in more easily, push your anus out as you insert it.

Next, lie on your left side and hug your knees to your chest. Breathe in deeply and slowly as you feel the fluid entering your rectum. Once the bag is empty, remove the hose gently. At this point, you might want to move to the toilet, as you will probably feel a strong urge to poop.

Step 3: Relax and Warm Up

Now, onto the more pleasant part of the experience. 

To get your sphincters all nice and loose, make sure you are as relaxed and aroused as possible. Use whatever floats your boat: music, a glass or two of wine, or a heart-to-heart talk. Some foreplay and oral sex should definitely help too. 

As a rule of thumb, the more at ease you are, the more relaxed your anal muscles will be. 

Step 4: Lube Up — A Great Deal

When you feel ready to take things up a notch, reach for your favorite lube and apply a generous amount onto your anus and whatever it is that you will be inserting up there: your partner’s penis, your fingers, a dildo, or your preferred gaping toys.

Make sure to keep the bottle of lube within easy reach at all times — the chances that are you will be needing a lot more than you think, especially if this is your first gaping session. 

However, even with plenty of lube, you may still feel some pain and discomfort. That’s normal, as you will be engaging in one of the most extreme forms of anal fun out there. Just be on the lookout for any potential signs of injury.

Almost forgot: if you plan to be using sex toys during your gaping session, use water-based lube only (as opposed to silicone-based). Silicone lube may damage the surface of toys that are also made of silicone. 

Pjur Back Door Silicone Anal Lube

Pjur Back Door Silicone Anal Lube

The Pjur Back Door Silicone Anal Lube is a dual-action lubricant that helps relax your sphincter for deeper and more forceful penetration. Its formula comes from natural ingredients like jojoba extract and contains no desensitizing chemicals.

It has a silky, long-lasting sheen that is both smooth and airy. And it’s just as slick when you apply it, complete with a relaxing effect that’ll provide you with all the relief you need during your anal training.

You can feel secure using a latex condom with this anal lube. It’s not sticky like other silicone-based products, which is another plus in my book. However, the cost is a little high. Though overall, the benefits exceed its costs.

Step 5: Insert Your Preferred Gaping Toys

Next, proceed with the insertion. You may find it easier to get down on all fours doggy-style in the beginning. 

Don’t rush it, or you risk ruining the experience and even injuring yourself. Go slowly and gently, using gentle circular and back-and-forth motions to stimulate your butthole.

These movements fool your sphincters into thinking that your bowel is full and cause them to open up in anticipation of the elimination. 


The longer your anal session, the larger and more long-lasting your gape will be. 

However, don’t get fixated on that goal. If you are a novice, your sphincters may not be sufficiently loosened up to achieve a gape. That’s perfectly fine: it’s all about the journey and not the destination. 

Oh, and one more thing — if you will be using gaping toys or dildos (see more anal dildos), always start with the smallest ones and gradually work your way up the size chart.

I know that I mentioned it earlier, but it bears repeating. The last thing you want is to end up in pain or with tears in your anus. 

For The Best Toys To Gape Your Ass…


Tantus Large Cone Super Sized


SquarePegToys Egg Plugs


Tantus Ringo

Tantus Ringo

3.5” – 8”

Step 6: Insert Your Preferred Gaping Toys, Remove The Penis Or Sex Toy And Enjoy The View

After a long and satisfying anal play session, slowly take out your sex toy or your partner’s penis.

If your anus is well-trained (and if you spent a decent amount of time thrusting), you should end up with a nice wide gape.

Best Tips On Anal Gaping

Practice Makes Perfect

You should warm up with toys before playing with a partner. This way, you won’t have to worry about feeling rushed and can take things at your own pace.

Before getting fucked, it’s a good idea to get familiar with your hole because knowing what you want will make you more assertive and proactive rather than passive.

Toys help you get in touch with yourself when you play with them regularly. And eventually, you can push your limits and have yourself get to your set goal.

Read On The Anatomy Of Your Butthole

Becoming a professional bottom involves study in addition to anal practice. Learn more about the inner workings and limitations of your anus by reading up on its anatomy. So once you’ve got the fundamentals down, you can look inside on your own.

After knowing all the ins and outs, get to know yourself more personally through touch. For example, some people’s exterior sphincter stretches easier than their interior. And to your surprise, you might be one of them.

Take Your Time On Training

Take Your Time On Anal Training

You can avoid Injury and trauma with the use of anal training. This is true at all skill levels, from novice to seasoned pros wishing to upgrade. Generally, anal training requires no more than five to ten minutes of your time.

Training toys should be inserted deeper into the body, about an inch and a half. This is the place where most people feel pain because it houses both the internal and external sphincters.

Four or five sets is a good goal, as it is with most exercises. If you’re training the muscle twice to four times a week, you should wait another week before moving up to the next size.

Don’t give up if, at first, you’re having struggles. Simply remove the toy, apply the lube, and give it another go. As you slide the object in, push out with your hole as if you were having regular bowel movements.

If you’re in pain, rest and return to training with a smaller toy once you feel refreshed.

Be Careful When Deep Cleaning

The problem with shower douches is that they are lengthy and can travel further into the colon than is desirable. Most shower hoses do not control water pressure; thus, it is easy to introduce too much water to the area, expanding the rectum and causing discomfort.

If you insist on using a shower douche, use it sparingly and scrub gently.

Do Anal Kegels

You can perform Kegels by inserting a toy in your anus and flexing the surrounding muscles with the same repetitions as your anal training.

To wow your sexual partner, demonstrate your skill by flexing onto their dick as if you were massaging it.

Other People’s Tips & Experiences 

Curious to see what other anal enthusiasts have to say about gaping? Here are some of the most insightful comments on

Remember, everyone’s experience and body are different, so take everything with a pinch of salt.

I had an extremely large boyfriend, and we both got off on the intensity and brutality of it on an occasional basis, because it does require preparation and, uh, endurance — physically and mentally.

I considered it part of the more hardcore BDSM sessions we engaged in, not the stuff of spontaneity.


Reddit user

First and foremost, do you even like anal? If you don’t, then don’t do it. I’m a huge advocate for boundaries. Operate in the parameters that you are comfortable with. That isn’t to say that experimentation isn’t healthy, because it is.

However, if you don’t like something, don’t do it… your partner should respect that.”

“Personally, I found that, in the beginning, laying on your side in the fetal position is [the] most comfortable, because it is a natural position for your anal tract. Essentially, it straightens it out.

At initial entry, bear down like you’re trying to poo. […] Breathing techniques are also necessary. Slow, deep breaths. It helps your brain control the pain receptors in your brain. AND GO SLOW. You’re in the driver seat. Personally, I tell my partner to just sit still, and I will back up as I relax and am ready.”

“As far as techniques or tips for gaping, keep in mind your sphincter is a muscle and you essentially have two of them, one on the exterior and one internal.

Over-[gaping] either can have permanent consequences, so slow and steady and listening to your body is the best course of action to avoid possible issues.


Reddit user

The second you withdraw a bigger dildo from your ass, you’ll gape if you’re spreading yourself. Even if just for a few seconds naturally.”

“Try pushing like you are having a [bowel movement].”

“In my experience, it’s 20% being [wide] enough (without going crazy) and 80% being relaxed enough. […] It tends to happen much more easily if we’ve had anal sex recently (that day/the day before), as she is usually much more relaxed.”

“You’ll need bigger toys […]. The bigger the thing in your ass, the bigger the gape.


Reddit user

Anal Gaping: Final Thoughts

If you get off of extreme anal play, you should definitely give gaping a try. It may be a bit uncomfortable at times, and you might not be able to achieve a full-on gape at the first attempt.

Once you get there, though, you will finally see for yourself what the fuss is all about!

If you enjoyed this how to gape tutorial, make sure to let us know in the comments section below. And if you have any other handy tips on how to gape your ass, feel free to share them!

We are always happy to learn — and try out — new things.

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

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