How can I make a DIY anal douche? You’d be surprised by the sheer number of people who google that in a pinch every single day.
Some have received an unexpected booty call. Others are having a one-night stand. Or their long-term partner suddenly had a bright idea to try something new late on a Saturday night.
In any case, all those folks found themselves in a bit of a predicament: anal sex was on the horizon, but they had no equipment at hand to clean themselves up.
The solution? A homemade anal douche!
Is it possible to make one? Absolutely.
Is it the best option? Not really, but it can — quite literally — save your ass every now and then. Just don’t make a habit out of it.
How To Make a Homemade Anal Douche
To make a DIY anal douche, get an empty plastic water bottle with a nozzle.
Wash it and fill it with water. Lube up and slide the nozzle in your anus. Squirt a bit of water and pull out. Repeat until the water comes out clean.
Alternatively, use your shower hose to introduce water up to your anus.
#1 DIY Water Bottle Douche
Douching with a water bottle is one of the simplest alternatives to store-bought anal douches.
Here is how to make a homemade douche bottle:
Step 1: Get A Clean Water Bottle
You should use an empty water bottle made of soft, pliable plastic that’s easy to squeeze. Don’t use soda or any other kinds of bottles.
They may have residue that you definitely don’t want to introduce in your rectum.
Step 2: Wash The Bottle
Just to be on the safe side, it’s always a good idea to wash the bottle with soap and warm water before use.
Make sure to rinse it thoroughly to remove any soap residue, as soap can damage your delicate gut flora and pH balance if it makes its way up to your butt.
Step 3: Fill The Bottle With Water
For a traditional anal douche, fill the bottle with pure distilled water or a saline solution.
Step 4: Insert The Nozzle
Using a nozzle is vital (which is why you want to get one of those sports water bottles that come with one).
Because you don’t want to slide the mouth of the bottle straight into your anus. First of all, it’s probably going to be uncomfortably wide.
Second, the screw ridges can be rather sharp and may tear your skin or the inner lining of the anal canal (and you can bet that’s going to hurt).
Oh, and don’t forget to douse the nozzle in a water-based lubricant.
Step 5: Insert The Nozzle And Squirt
As with any anal douche, remember not to insert the nozzle too deep into the rectum. It’s best to keep it at about an inch from the anus.
Once you get the nozzle in, squirt a bit of water and then remove the nozzle right away without releasing the pressure on the bottle.
Otherwise, you risk getting dirty water sucked back into the bottle — and you’d have to refill it.
Squirt the water out of your butt. Repeat the steps above until the water comes out clean.
#2 DIY Shower Enema
If you are looking for a deeper clean, you can make an at-home anal douche using your shower. Here is how:
Step 1: Unscrew The Showerhead
First, you should remove the showerhead from the hose.
Step 2: Clean The Hose
Before getting that hose anywhere near your butthole, wash it thoroughly using soap and warm water.
As always, rinse it well afterward to ensure that there is no soap residue.
Step 3: Adjust The Water Pressure And Temperature
It’s extremely important to set your shower at the lowest possible setting. If you introduce water up your butt at too high pressure, you could end up with serious injuries.
Next, turn the shower on to double-check the pressure and to ensure that the water is lukewarm. Hot and even warm water can scald the delicate lining of the anal canal.
Step 4: Place The Hose On Your Anus
Yes, you read that right. You don’t want to insert the hose in your anus.
Instead, position the hose right next to your butthole. This way, you can get the water inside without risking any sudden changes in the pressure or temperature.
The pressure and temperature of the water in household pipes often vary and cannot guarantee consistent performance.
If you want to decrease the water pressure even further, you can cover the end of the hose with a condom or a balloon with holes in it.
Alternatively, simply use the shower without removing the showerhead.
Step 5: Squirt And Repeat
After about five seconds, remove the hose from your butthole. Try to hold the water in for a minute or two and then squirt it.
Rise and repeat the whole process until the water starts coming out clear.
#3 DIY Anal Douche With A Syringe
Last but not least, if all else fails or is unavailable, you can use a syringe to get the job done!
Step 1: Get A Clean Syringe
Raid your first-aid kit or head out to the local pharmacy and grab the largest syringe you can get your hands on. A 2 oz syringe should do for most people, but you can also use a smaller one and refill it as needed.
You’ll only need the plunger and the nozzle, so make sure to safely dispose of any needles and keep them out of the reach of children, animals, and absent-minded adults.
Step 2: Fill It With Water And Spray It Up Your Butthole
Next, fill the syringe with water and insert the nozzle in your anus. Don’t forget to prep your butthole with lube and a bit of stroking first.
Once you push the nozzle in, press the plunger slowly and gently. You don’t have to get all the water in one go. If it feels too much, stop and pull the nozzle out.
Step 3: Hold It In, Squirt, Repeat
If you can, hold the water in for a minute or two. Try jumping around in your bathroom (on a dry, non-slippery surface!) to get the water as far up your butt as you can.
When you’re ready, squirt the water out. Repeat the process until the water starts coming out clean, and you’re good to go!
Dangers & Safety Precautions
A DIY douche bottle or a shower hose may do the trick for when you are in a pinch, but you should treat them as one-off solutions only.
Cuts And Micro-Tears
Both the anus and the lining of the rectum are super sensitive and highly susceptible to cuts and micro-tears. Homemade douches are often not soft and flexible enough, which can result in compromising the integrity of the rectal lining.
Not only is that painful, but it can also increase your likelihood of contracting STDs and STIs.
What’s more, DIY anal douche equipment is usually difficult or impossible to fully sanitize.
That makes it prone to bacterial build-up and increases the risk of infections.
Another thing to keep in mind is that disposable water bottles are only meant to be used once. One of the reasons for this is that many plastic bottles contain toxic chemicals that can get released into the water over time.
And if you don’t want these introduced into your body through your mouth, you don’t want them introduced through your butthole either — they are likely to be just as harmful to your health.
Find The Best Anal Douche For You
After your homemade anal douche session is over (and you’ve had your sexy time), do yourself and your butt a favor. Go online and check out our guide on the 5 Best Anal Douches & Best Ways To Clean Your Asshole.
There, you’ll find many useful tips on how to find the right anal douche for your needs — so you never have to wing it at short notice again!
Other People’s Homemade Douche Tips & Experiences
Are you curious to see what DIY anal douching solutions other people have come up with? Here are some of the most original ones on the Internet:
“Get a rubber squeeze ball for cleaning ears and such, they’re like $5 at a Wal-Mart.”Source: Reddit
“Those bulb things used to clear sinuses work too. All pharmacies carry them.”Source: Reddit
“Is douching really necessary or even natural? […]
I’m (mostly) a bottom, and I have never used a douche in my entire life actually. Instead, I follow these simple rules:
1. Don’t bottom until after you’ve taken your routine sh1t for that day.Source: Reddit
2. Don’t bottom if, within the past 6 hours, you’ve consumed coffee or any other food/substances that have a stimulating/irritating effect on the bowel.
3. Before bottoming, don’t consume foods outside your normal diet or foods that lead to gas/bloating/irregularity (such as double bean burritos lol).
If you follow these super-easy rules, you’ll already be clean when you’re ready to have sex. Also, when you get experience as a bottom, your anatomy and reflexes automatically learn how to keep you clean and intact naturally.”
How To Douche Without A Douche: Final Thoughts
Anal sex is great! But it can be even better when you don’t plan it for once, and it just happens naturally.
In such cases, you can resort to a DIY anal douche. Better still — skip the douching altogether.
If you’ve had a regular bowel movement earlier that day, you probably have nothing to worry about.
But if a bit of poop sees the light of day, don’t panic, and don’t let that ruin the experience for you and your partner. It’s all perfectly natural!
Plus, if your significant other is mature and open-minded enough to engage in anal sex, they should be just as mature and open-minded at the sight of a few brown specks.