76 BDSM Punishment Ideas For Submissives [2024]: Sexual & Kinky For YOU To Experiment!

For doms with subs who need a great deal of discipline, this BDSM punishment list has it all.

Whether you’re a sub or a dom in the bedroom, new BDSM ideas are always exciting if you want to get more kinky.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re into extreme sex toy play or simple bondage, these punishment ideas below are helpful in conjunction with bed restraints and other accessories like BDSM sex toys to get the most out of your special time in the bedroom.

So, let’s get into our 76 BDSM punishment ideas below for both sexual and kinky fun ideas.

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Restraint Punishments

This is a more simple form of punishment. Restraint can be fun for the dom while being highly inconvenient for the sub.

1. Bondage

I’m sure you’re no stranger to bondage, so break out the handcuffs or ropes and tie up your sub during:

Activities

 

Meals

They’ll have to eat like an animal if they don’t already.

Sex

You control all the pleasure.

Chores

There are no benefits, it’ll just make chores harder as a punishment.

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2. Holding Objects

If you want a more annoying form of bondage discipline, get creative. Have the sub:

• Hold a book on their head.
• Keep a ping pong ball from falling, held between their nose and the wall.
• Holding one coin for each finger against a wall.
• Keeping their finger over a leak in a bottle or glass.

There are many options with this – use your imagination.

Your Sub is restrained from moving, and if the objects fall or the glass leaks, it’s time for a harsher punishment.

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3. Collar and Lead

Put them in a collar, attach a lead, and make them follow you everywhere. Tie their lead to something when you need to go out or do something private.

If you want this to fit in the humiliation category, make them crawl like animals instead of walking.

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These Kinky Bed Restraints Will Enhance Your BDSM Experience

Love sexual roleplay? Want to enhance your BDSM experience to the max? Then bed restraints are a perfect BDSM accessory to dominate your partner with and sexually punish them. 

Bed restraints come in various materials like leather or nylon and have different sizes according to your needs. 

The most important aspects to consider are the adjustability, cuff fastening, and durability to get as much fun out of them as possible for your money.

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Denial Punishments

1. Favorite Hobby

Games, reading, masturbation, or even watching TV. Deny your sub the right to engage in their favorite hobby for however many hours, days, or weeks you choose.

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2. Technology

Take away their phone, computer, or anything of similar value.

Or, take away their charger. Watch them start to use their phone or laptop less and less as the battery dies.

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3. Accessories

Does your sub wear a collar they love? Take it away. Or take away their lucky bracelet or ring or something similar.

However, be careful when taking away rings or collars. It’s not fair to take away a wedding band. And in some couples, a collar is like a wedding band so treat that with the same restraint.

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4. Waking Hours

Send your sub to bed early, possibly without food first.

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5. Clothes

No clothes are allowed at home for as long as you decide. If you need to go into the public, limited clothing is allowed – but perhaps with one of these rules:

• The sub has to stay in the car, with the windows open.
• No underwear allowed.
• Sub has to wear lingerie and revealing clothing, even if it’s a man.

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6. Speech

Disallow speaking. If you’re feeling generous, create a signal so your sub can ask for permission to speak.

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7. Attention

Completely ignore your sub. Tell them they’re not allowed to come and visit if you don’t live together. Add extra punishments for every text and call they make to you.

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8. Food

Make them last a little fast for a day. This won’t hurt them or make them ill but will be uncomfortable and annoying.

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9. Sleep

Denying sleep can be dangerous, so do this in moderation.

So you don’t have to stay awake too, set up a camera. If the sub plugs out the camera, they’re punished. If the camera catches them sleeping, they’re punished too.

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Orgasm Control Punishments

1. Chastity

Try a cock cage or chastity belt. Make sure you learn about chastity 101 and know how to wear the cock-cage safely.

Oh, and you can top it off by getting him to wear Crotch Rocket Strapon – he will be still with the cock cage, but can still please you 😉

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Consider These Chastity Cages That Are Best For Your Chastity Punishment…

Using a chastity cage as a male is the ultimate form of submission. It’s not for everyone, but this could be a major turn-on if you love being submissive.

Chastity cages come in different lengths according to what your penis needs and essentially stop you from being able to get an erection and have sex. 

You’ll also find chastity cages come in different materials like plastic or stainless steel. A chastity cage should be comfortable, even if it’s designed for sexual punishment.

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2. Edging

Edging is one of many excellent femdom punishments. Bring him to the brink of orgasm, then walk away and put him in handcuffs so he can’t touch himself. Come back and keep repeating the process.

But edging for women exists too, it’s just not quite as well-known. The easiest way to do it is through stimulating the clitoris but using a toy to hit her G-spot works too. 

Try not to do both at the same time, though it may be harder to stop in time for her to be left on the edge.

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3. Forced Orgasms

Women are no strangers to multiple orgasms, so this doesn’t work for them very well. But men need time between sessions to reload and regain energy. And eventually, orgasms become painful – and possibly dry.

Keeping up sexual encounters until your man is dry is the perfect treat for you and punishment for him.

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Public Punishments

Let me preface this by saying that you should never expose the public to any kink, fetish, or even Vanilla sexual play. Only do these punishments if you’re certain you can be discreet.

1. Long-Distance Sex Toys

There are lots of Bluetooth and internet-controlled long-distance sex toys available today. Some are small and discrete and can be worn in public.

Put one on your sub and make them wear it on a date. Control the intensity with your phone. 

If your sub makes even a tiny noise, the punishment gets worse at home – one idea is to leave them without orgasm after hours of toy play.

Or put a toy on your sub, stay home, and make them do errands. Reward them by finally bringing them to the climax when they come home.

One of the best long-distance sex toys for couples is the Kiiroo Titan & Cliona. This sex toy focuses on delivering intense orgasms thanks to Titan’s manual stroke option and nine powerful vibrating motors.

The Cliona is also super compact and can be used discreetly under clothes with its head motor vibrator, and your partner can then control the strength of the vibration remotely to see just how far they can push your limits.

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2. No Clothes in Public

Send your sub on an errand wearing just a long coat or long coat and pants. 

This punishment doubles as a productive activity, so it’s extra impactful if it’s an errand for you, not one of their own.

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3. Ben-Wa Balls

Ben-Wa balls aren’t as much fun for doms as are controllable sex toys, so they’re not great for the date-night scenario. But making your spouse wear them during an errand can be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

Ben-Wa balls are vaginal exercise weights, usually used for Kegels. For the untrained user, they can be hard to hold in.

For male subs, use a weighted butt plug with too much lube instead.

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4. Silly Costume

Make your sub wear something silly in public. Have them wear a costume from a movie, paint their face like a cat or wear ridiculous, knee-high rainbow socks. Whatever you want! 

Don’t go overboard with this – you don’t want to humiliate them. You want to make them look slightly unusual.

You can put them in humiliating clothes… but that’s a thought for a different category.

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Painful/Unpleasant Punishments

1. Ice Bath

Fill a bath with cold water and ice, and make your sub spend a few minutes in it. For a more tame BDSM punishment, a cold shower works too.

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2. Spanking/Whipping

If your sub doesn’t enjoy spanking or whipping, then it’s an appropriate punishment – so long as you agreed on that flogger being used sometimes.

Pick how many hits and get beating. You could pair this with other punishments like being bound or not allowed to speak.

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3. Pinching

Pinch your sub or use clothespins/pegs, perhaps on the nipples or skin of the scrotum. Putting them on the nose, lips, ears, or loose body skin works too.

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4. Cold Dildo/Butt Plug

Get a glass or stainless steel dildo or butt plug. Soak it in icy water, then use it on the sub. Avoid putting ice inside your sub, as this can cause burns.

If you’re looking for a specific butt plug to try this BDSM with, the CalExotics butt plug is an excellent choice for beginners. This butt plug has an easy pump and tapered insertion for a comfortable experience, and the silicone materials let you put it in the freezer before use.

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5. Wax

Wax your partner’s body hair. The genitals and anus will be especially painful.

Use a variety of waxes and see which hurts more. Pre-made wax strips can often be much more intense than melting and applying the wax yourself, but it depends on the brand.

Be careful not to make the sub bleed, though (unless you’re into that), and use extra caution around sensitive parts.

 If you don’t feel you can wax the sub without damaging them, schedule an appointment with a professional.

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6. Soap Gag

Gag your sub using a bar of soap, taped/tied into the mouth.

Before you take the soap out, add some water to make it foam and taste worse. Ensure the sub doesn’t accidentally swallow – keep a glass of water for rinsing the soap out nearby.

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7. Ball Gag

Find the largest, most uncomfortable ball gag you can. Force it on your sub for a few hours. 

Make sure to give them 5-10 minute breaks to relax/flex their jaw every hour to prevent lockjaw or spasms.

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8. Open Mouth Gag

Keep your partner quiet but open-mouthed with an open mouth gag. Use their open mouth to feed them unpleasant food, or semen, or just use it as a hole you can fuck.

Another type of open-mouth gag is the Jennings Gag. This gag has a fully adjustable ratcheting feature to open the mouth as wide as you like. It stays secure thanks to its rubber coating, allowing you to focus on the fun.

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9. Holding Urine

Make your partner drink tons of diuretics (coffee, tea, soda), and don’t let them use the bathroom for an hour or two. 

Adjust this time to make it fairer on your partner if you need to – or less fair if you want the punishment to be severe.

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10. Weights

Add weights to any genital or nipple piercings your sub has. Be careful they’re not too heavy, or they’ll rip the piercing out.

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11. Step On Painful Surface

Have your sub-step or walk over a painful surface. Here are some painful things to walk on:

• Seashells and sharp pebbles.
• Uncooked fusilli, gemelli, rotini or cavatappi pasta.
• Broken eggshells.
• Legos.
• Hard hairbrush spikes.
• UK-style plugs, prongs up.

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12. Kneel On Rice

Kneeling on uncooked rice is painful and annoying. Bonus punishment: cleaning up the rice.

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13. Eating On The Floor

Give them the pet treatment and have them eat on the floor. You could even “force” them to act like your dog or cat and have them obey your commands before giving them food.

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Humiliating Punishments

Humiliation punishments often crossover with public punishments. But you can do these BDSM punishments out in the open or with other BDSM couples visiting.

Again, be sure you cover any suspicious behavior with an excuse so you avoid involving the public in your kink.

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1. Public Masturbation

Force your sub to masturbate in public, but somewhere nobody can tell. A movie theatre works. 

Or, have willing-to-watch guests come and watch at home.

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2. Temporary Tattoos

Give your sub temporary tattoos. This could be an embarrassing face tattoo of a naked person or insults scrawled in sharpie. 

“Cum Slut,” “Ass Eater,” and “Cock Chomper” are some humiliating phrases you could put on their forehead.

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3. Go Nude

If your sub is not into being nude in public, take them to a nudist beach or gym. Force them to go without clothes.

Be careful to blend in – don’t reveal this is a punishment, pretend the sub is just a naturalist, and only do this around other naturalists.

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4. Wet Pants

Make it look like your sub wet their pants by splashing their genital area or pouring a glass of water down their pants. Make sure they’re wearing clothes you can easily see wet spots on.

To make it worse, walk around in public berating them for what they’ve done.

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5. Orgasm Alerts

Record your sub having an orgasm. Use this as their ringtone and call their phone in front of other doms/subs, at a fetish club, or at a sex party.

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6. Human Furniture

Use the sub as a footrest or chair in public – if anyone asks questions, tell your sub to laugh and say they lost a bet.

Or do this only in fetish clubs instead.

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7. Public Scolding

Act like the sub is a badly behaved child, and publicly scold them for their rule-breaking.

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8. Pet Dish

Make the sub eat from a pet dish. Bring one to a restaurant, and transfer their food to it. Avoid fancy/expensive restaurants, so you don’t get kicked out – fast food places are best.

Or if your sub usually eats from pet dishes at home, make them use a plate. Tell people the sub usually eats from a pet dish. Invite them to watch the sub use real crockery.

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9. Cum Dumpster

Make your sub walk around in cum-soaked underwear all day. Or, climax in their butt, place a butt plug, and make them spend the day like that.

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10. Cross-dressing

Make your male sub dress in your clothes all day. Go for a walk around your neighborhood, or venture out somewhere more public. And take lots of pictures.

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11. Showcase Spanking

Spank your female sub until she’ll be red for a while. Go to the beach with her in a revealing bikini.

Or spank him and take him out in a bikini…

12. Naked By A Window

Tie your sub up, legs spread and high, naked. Place them near a window. 

Try to do it with an upstairs window so it’s not blatantly obvious, but it’s still visible. If it’s a downstairs window, place the sub in full view but on the other side of the room.

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13. Tongue Cleaning

Make the sub clean the kitchen or bathroom with their tongue. Give them a toothbrush for scrubbing stains. Invite consenting guests over to watch or film it.

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14. Write On Their Bodies/Clothes

Using a permanent marker, you could also punish your sub by writing their offenses all over their body. Have them walk around with it for the rest of the day. 

And then, have them face the mirror to let them remember how badly they acted before you. 

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Tame Punishments

1. Naked Footrest

Use your sub as a naked footrest while you watch TV or read.

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2. Naked Server

Have your subserve you dinner in the nude.

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3. Writing Lines

Have the sub write “I must not (broken rule)” 200 times or until their hand aches too much to continue.

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4. Cancel a Date

If your sub is excited for an outing or a sexual, kinky, or romantic date, cancel it until they learn to behave.

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5. Unpleasant Food

Cook your sub something unpleasant and make them eat all of it. Don’t go over the top, just make it something they dislike.

If you want to make it more unpleasant, make the sub do the cooking. 

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6. Melting Ice Cubes

Put your sub in two pairs of full-back underwear, then fill the outer pair with ice cubes. Make sure the cubes are slightly melted, not fresh out of the freezer, or they may burn the skin.

Wait for the ice to melt before letting the sub change.

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Mental Torture Punishments

1. Sensory Deprivation

Depriving someone of their eyesight and/or hearing can be a very uncomfortable experience. Try a blindfold and earplugs/headphones.

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2. Isolation

Lock your sub in a small room, like a closet, alone for a few hours. Just make sure they don’t have issues with confined spaces first. 

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3. Bad Entertainment

Does your sub hate a particular song, genre, TV show, movie, or podcast? Play it. Loudly.

To make things worse, have your sub perform an unpleasant task while it’s on. Maybe chores, or maybe make them do something difficult/pointless. 

Perhaps they should learn to fix cars, code websites, or stack cups.

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Boring Punishments

1. Counting Coins

Do you save spare change? Make your sub count it.

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2. Moving Rice

Have the sub move rice from one pile to another, then into a pot or bag. One grain at a time.

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3. Organization

Do you want to color-code your sock drawer? Create a new organization system for the kitchen? Make your sub do it.

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4. Mental Bondage

Make the sub stand somewhere as if bound. Don’t provide any entertainment. Don’t let them move for a few hours.

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5. Terms and Conditions

Find software like iTunes. Make the sub read the terms and conditions, making notes/summaries of it.

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6. Cutting Grass

Make the sub cut the front lawn with scissors to a specific height.

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Kinky Punishments

1. Rimming

Rimming is becoming more popular these days, so it’s not as kinky as it used to be. But forcing your sub to rim you or another dom is pleasureful and naughty.

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2. Foot Licking

Make your sub lick your feet clean. Step in something they don’t like first to make it worse – for example, ketchup if they hate it.

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3. Golden Shower

Is one of you into golden showers, and the other isn’t? Force the sub to have one if they don’t like it. If they prefer to receive and not give, force them to give you a golden shower.

If they’re the receiver and don’t like the golden shower, don’t let them clean up if you want to be harsher. Only you are allowed to clean them whenever you have the time.

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4. Hollow Butt Plug

Force your sub to wear a hollow butt plug, then start pegging. If they’re not trained to wear one large enough yet, finger them with cold hands instead.

To add some humiliation, taunt them for not being able to stretch wide enough for you to use their ass for pleasure.

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5. Have Sex With Someone Else

If you and your sub are in an open relationship, have sex with someone else in front of your sub. For extra humiliation, tell them they’re not as good as your current sexual partner.

This works very well if you have multiple subs, especially if all submissives are usually treated equally. It’ll hurt to be the least favorite.

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6. Panty Mouth

Make the sub masturbate in panties. For women, put their panties inside the vagina. For men, leave the panties on, then cum inside them.

Later, make them keep the panties in their mouth for 30 minutes.

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7. Food Ejaculate

Make the sub consume food with cum in it. Even better if it’s his own cum.

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8. Licking Cum

After a period of chastity, let a male sub orgasm over your feet or on the dirty floor. Have him lick it up.

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9. Errands While Wearing A Sex Toy

Let your sub do some errands for the day. But have them use a sex toy while they’re at it. Maybe have them put on a vibrating panty or a vibrating butt plug. Then, play around with the controls.

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Sexual Punishments

1. Disliked Sexual Acts

Make your sub do something they don’t like. For women, she may not like giving blowjobs. For a femdom punishment, try pegging if your sub doesn’t like it.

Never force your partner to violate their limits, though. Don’t ignore safewords.

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2. Femdom Facesitting

Sit on your sub’s face and force him to pleasure you until you tell him to stop. Or, have him sit on your face while you wear a chin dildo.

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3. Nipple Clamps

Nipples are extremely sensitive, and having something on them is very distracting. Have your sub wear nipple clamps, and if you’re aroused, force them to go topless and tease you.

Nipple clamps need to be arousing, so as a beginner, the Entice Tiered sexy nipple clamps would be a good choice. These clamps aren’t too hard; they give more of a pinching sensation and are very flattering too.

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4. Double-Ended Dildo

Do you know another dom with a sub to punish? Or you have multiple submissives? Consider having both subs use a double-ended dildo together.

The Bondara Magenta silicone curved double dildo is a good choice, boasting a 10-inch size and dual stimulation thanks to the rigid edges.

But, if you’re looking for a double-ended dildo for your submissives that vibrates, the Fun Factory SHAREVIBE dildo could be a better choice, with a skin-touch feel and five different levels.

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5. Gang Bang

Invite other doms over to have fun with your sub.

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6. Tongue-Dry

After you take a shower or bath, have the sub lick you dry. Afterward, make them give you oral and fully clean up any orgasmic fluid/cum with their tongue.

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Things To Consider Before Punishing Your Sub

The Punishment Should Be Appropriate

Punishments should fit the “crime” committed by the sub.

When it comes to BDSM play, it’s easy for things to go too far off the deep end. And as a result, it may end up hurting your partner.

So, best to keep your emotions in check beforehand.

If your discipline starts to get too intense for the sub’s infraction, you may have done it out of anger. 

Take a step back and collect your thoughts. Calm yourself down first before heading back into the action. 

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Know Their Limits

BDSM is all about embracing a person’s inner kink and fantasy. At the same time, it can also be too much to handle at a certain point. 

So, when it comes to boundaries, it’s best to talk to your partner before engaging in any form of BDSM play. 

Come up with a safeword or action. Set up both of your limitations. 

If they say, they can handle it but start to show signs of distress, then re-evaluate. You can tone down the punishment. Or you could stop altogether.

Remember, if you push far too from their limit, then that could violate their trust. And as a result, it can ruin your relationship. So make sure you two are on the same page from the get-go. 

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No Surprises

Surprises are a double-edged sword in BDSM. 

Sometimes, they work and can improve the overall experience of the sub. And sometimes, they can ruin the whole thing just like that.

If you plan to engage in surprise punishments, then make sure your sub can handle it. 

Again, know their limitations first. Not everyone can quickly adapt to whatever situation is thrown at them while blind. 

So ensure you’re still within their boundaries when you try to surprise them. 

Avoid doing something risky without telling your partner as much as possible. 

Doms should do BDSM play purposefully. So, know that any out-of-left-field actions can easily damage a person’s trust in one way or another. 

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You Can Have Your Sub Come Up With The Punishment

Now, the dominant partner doesn’t always have to come up with plans. The sub can very much give their input as well. 

Have them list some ideas first. And from there, you can get as creative and experimental as you want. 

You could even ask your sub what punishment they would want during roleplay. Or you could go the “Jigsaw” route and give them some options. 

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Aftercare

BDSM play can get too intense and can put a strain on the body. So, proper aftercare is practically mandatory.

Now you don’t have to go overboard. 

A simple cuddle sesh can help put your sub at ease. Or, if you want to cater to your partner physically, you can also hand out an ointment or a warm blanket. 

Simple actions can make more considerable impacts. So don’t shy away from giving them quite a bit of special treatment afterward. 

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Conclusion

A BDSM punishment can be fun for both the dom and the sub or just pointless and power-asserting. 

Whichever way you choose to do things, make sure you discuss them in advance so you always remain Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

Get creative with your ideas, tailor them to suit your relationship, and there is no way to really go wrong.