In this Hismith review you’ll learn EXACTLY what to expect from this sex machine, how good it is, what attachments to get & top alternatives (if any). It’s a fresh 2021 review:
Have you ever wanted to get pounded relentlessly by an unthinking, unfeeling robot that never finishes?
But enough about my ex-boyfriend, today we’re talking about the Hismith Premium Sex Machine.
Some are saying that it’s as good as machines that cost twice as much.
So how good is it really?
Stick around and find out!
Or, just glance at the TL;DR. That’s fine too.
Powerful motors with controllable speed up to a more-than-sufficient 240 strokes per minute with a stroke length of up to 6 inches. It works from multiple angles so there’s lots of variety to be enjoyed, not to mention the many customization options and attachments you can add to it.
The Not So Good
It’s bulky, pretty heavy, and takes time and effort to set up and store. The Hismith is pretty easy to set up, but it’s not effortless. And while it’s good value for a sex machine, it’s certainly not cheap, so it’s not a mass-market product.
Table of Contents
Hismith Fucking Machine: First Impressions
All Hismith products ship from Shenzhen, China, so don’t expect free next-day delivery.
They do ship for free and it will take 7-15 business days, or you can pay extra for expedited delivery, which is 3-6 business days.
I’m pretty sure I got mine in 11 days.
When I opened my front door, I was greeted by a brown box that was smaller than I had expected. Heavy though, which is a good sign. You don’t want to order a proper sex machine and get a box you can lift with one hand.
Once I cut through all of the tape I found a surprisingly nice black carrying case containing the magic machine itself.
Alongside that, there’s all of the accessories, dildo, power supply, cables, etc.
It comes disassembled for transport, so once it’s put together it’s not gonna fit back in the travel case. You could keep it in a large gym bag, I guess.
Hismith Specs Comparison
Hismith makes a bunch of different sex machines, but there are three premium models that we’re going to focus on today. The wired-controlled and the app-controlled are the same design and motor, just with different controls.
Which Premium Fucking Machine Should You Get?
The basic package is cheaper by about $80. It still has all of the other great stuff like the weighted base for stable thrusting, works with any of the other attachments, etc.
Connect your phone to the Hismith app and you can control it wirelessly over the internet. You can also create routines through the app that change the speed and stroke length at set intervals, or you can download routines made by other people. There’s also an online mode where people from all over the internet can control your machine! It’s more expensive but all of the extra options are worth the price difference.
- Hismith Quadruple Penetration
Have you ever needed to double penetrate two people at the same time? Me neither, but it’s cool to have a machine that can do the job. It’s more maneuverable and just as quiet and easy to use as the others. Comes in app-controlled or wire-controlled.
How Does The Hismith Premium Sex Machine Look And Feel?
Many sex machines aren’t very stable in use. It takes a surprising amount of power to thrust a dildo 4 times a second, and it will move the whole thing around quite a bit.
So the weight of the base is super important to keep the Hismith in one place.
The whole thing feels premium. All of the parts are well machined and easy to put together.
And once it’s all in one piece it looks nice. Mine is a nice shade of red with awesome Ferrari energy, so that’s a good time.
I was expecting it to look like the other sex machines. You know, a big, scary, industrial engine-looking thing that sounds like a muscle car revving in front of a stop sign.
But the Hismith looks friendly. Not quite cute, but non-threatening in a good way.
So how does it work?
How To Use Hismith Sex Machine
With Wired Controls
The wired remote is as simple as it gets. It’s a black box with a red on/off switch and a dial that controls the speed. To change the stroke length you twist the knob on the side of the machine.
With Remote Control
The remote control option is easy too. It has four buttons – UP to go faster, DOWN to slow down, a big H button to stop or start the machine, and a triangle button that goes through different programs at varying speeds if you want to shake it up.
With the App
Plug the wired remote control in and use Bluetooth to pair your phone to your machine.
Once that’s done, you have a few options:
- You can select a program for the machine to follow and hit play. Whatever your desired stroke length, intensity or pattern, you’re sure to find something that gets you off. Or program your own!
- Remote play: You can give someone access to your machine over the internet for long-distance play, where your partner can control the speed of your machine by making gestures on their phone.
- Cam mode: if you’re a cam performer you can set up the Hismith to work on tips from people watching your show. It takes a bit of technical know-how to set up but anyone should be able to do it.
Hismith have a whole ecosystem of extensions, adaptors, and attachments so you can use it with many of your favorite toys. Let me tell you about the most important ones real quick:
Standard Fleshlight Cover Adapter with Hismith Kliclok Connector
Want to use your machine with a Fleshlight? This adaptor clicks on to the end of the Hismith so you can fit your favorite sleeve to it and enjoy the hands-free fun!
Double Penetration Kliclok Adapter
Turn one thrusting dildo into two! You click it onto the metal bar and fit your dildos to each one, and you can enjoy getting railed twice as much.
Luxury Kit For Lovers: A good deal on a bunch of super-useful stuff, like:
Vac-U-Lock attachment for the bigger toys
Suction cup adaptor – stick on any suction-cupped dildo
30cm extension rod – convenient and give you more range. Handy if you’re a squirter (the Hismith isn’t waterproof).
Spring connector – bends and moves so you can enjoy more different angles without adjusting the machine. Also helps with heavier toys.
G-spot clamp – holds any small-to-medium size g-spot vibrator, eg. rabbits.
Male masturbator bandage – A strap so that you can attach a Fleshlight or other masturbator sleeve.
Luxury Kit for Him — all the same as for Lovers, excluding g-spot clamp
Luxury Kit For Her — all the same as for Lover, excluding male masturbator bandage
My Experience With Hismith
It took me about 15 minutes to get the whole thing working, which might sound like a lot but keep in mind I can barely change a lightbulb.
Everything fit together easily with just an Allen key (provided!) and there weren’t any hiccups except when I forgot which way you’re supposed to turn the screws.
Connecting it to my phone was easy too. Some toys and sex machines have janky apps or bad Bluetooth connections, but the Hismith is good-quality. Simple to connect and didn’t drop out once the whole time we’ve used it so far.
I LOVED giving over the controls to my partner and letting him control what happened via the app. Using it solo I kept it on the slower to medium settings, but he wanted to see it closer to full power with a shorter stroke length.
It was quite an experience combined with a clitoral vibrator! Welcome to orgasm city, especially when we got the angle to hit my g-spot.
The dildo that comes standard with the Hismith is good too. About 8 inches long (6ish insertable) with a nice diameter and a skin-like feel. It also has lovely veins and ridges all throughout its length.
It’s quite flexible and has a little give to it too. This comes in handy – I wouldn’t use the Hismith with a very rigid dildo. That said, I do think it needs more lube than usual.
I really love the fact that the dildo comes free with the machine AND it has a strong suction cup. So you can even use it separately from the machine.
What About Noise?
It’s surprisingly quiet.
Like, really quiet. Quieter than a lot of my vibrators.
When I saw that Hismith claimed it was no more than 50dB, I thought “no way. It’s gotta be at least 60.”
But damn, they were being honest. It was quiet enough that me and my partner could have a normal conversation and hear each other perfectly without having to raise our voices at all.
It’s not like you could hide the Hismith under a duvet, but the sound is easily covered up by some light music.
The sounds I made, however… well, you’d need a rock concert to cover that up!
Pro Tips: Getting The Most From Your Hismith
This fucking machine is super user-friendly, but it’s still a sex machine. And those can take some getting used to.
Here are some useful tips to getting the most out of this beast:
- Use A LOT of lube. The machine won’t stop just because you’re a bit dry, so if you’re not careful you’re gonna chafe.
- If you want to use bigger dildos, get the spring attachment. It makes everything so much easier.
- It moves around less on carpet than on tile or wood floors. It’s pretty secure everywhere but it does slip a bit on harder floors, so throw a rug or towel down.
- If you’re using a big dildo or want maximum speed, put some extra weight on the base like a sandbag or a kettlebell.
- Don’t adjust the machine while it’s still on. Always turn it off before changing the angle.
Maintenance And Cleaning
The machine itself isn’t too hard to keep clean and operation-ready. It shouldn’t get much dirt on it, but if it does just wipe it down with a microfiber cloth or a VERY SLIGHTLY damp cloth.
Why very slightly damp?
Well, the Hismith ISN’T waterproof. Not at all. So no washing it and no taking it anywhere near the bathroom. You’ll also wanna avoid squirting on it as much as possible.
Hismith’s dildos are silicone, so you can wash them with mild soap and water and leave them to air-dry. Or you can use a toy cleaner.
Any other dildos you use will need to be cleaned in the appropriate way. Check with the manufacturer or look it up.
You should also keep the thrusting arm dry after use. I don’t know if it rusts, but you don’t want to find out the hard way.
Where To Buy + Price
The wired-controlled Hismith is $430, which for a machine of this quality is a bargain.
But if you’ve got an extra 70 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you should opt for the app-controlled version.
There are just so many more ways to enjoy getting fucked by a machine with the app.
Both versions come with a 1-year warranty, which is extended to 2 years if the problem is the motor. I’d be surprised if anything went wrong with the Hismith inside a year, but that extra insurance is always nice to have.
You can use the discount code HSM10 at checkout to get 10% off AND a free spring attachment (worth $30) for your machine.
What Do Other People Think? (Reddit)
It can save you lots of time, money, and heartache from making bad decisions with shitty people just because you wanted a good pounding. I use a machine daily, so if the Hismith breaks in one year (no reason to think it will), it will have cost a buck a day. Bargain.
The Hismith is a great sex machine, but it’s not exactly portable. If you want something that you can throw in a suitcase and still have room for your clothes, the Velvet Thruster Prime is a self-thrusting dildo with up to 3.5 inches of stroke length and 140 strokes per minute.
The rechargeable battery lasts for up to 8 hours which is incredible for a rechargeable sex toy, and there are some great customization options like a long reach handle and a suction cup.
And all that in a handheld package!
It doesn’t compete with the big boy sex machines, but it’s not really meant to. If you want the thrusting experience from a toy you hold in your hands, the Velvet Thruster will cost you around $250 (depends on your customization options).
And if you want an upgrade from the regular Hismith – the real cream of the crop – go for their Hismith Quadruple Penetration Fucking Machine. It looks like a machine gun and has about the same intensity.
It’s designed for double or even quadruple penetration (if you have two women on either side of the machine) and clocks out at a ludicrous 280 strokes per minute.
It’s incredibly easy to adjust and rotate, so it’s more versatile than the regular Hismith Premium. PLUS it has enough torque to bang two asses at once.
The best they have to offer is $690 for the wired-controlled version and $790 for the app-controlled (which you should get if you can).
Not cheap, but a much lower price than comparable sex machines. For a high-quality American-made DP fucking machine, you’d be looking at $1000+ and that’s still no guarantee of a better experience.
Sex machines are a serious investment for people who want to get seriously sexed. If that sounds like your thing, the Hismith Premium fucking machine is easily the best bang for your buck and competes with sex machines that cost $1000 or more.