In this Hismith review, you’ll learn EXACTLY what to expect from this sex machine, how good it is, what attachments to get & top alternatives (if any). It’s a fresh 2023 review:
All photos by SexualAlpha team.
Have you ever wanted to get pounded relentlessly by an unthinking, unfeeling robot that never finishes?
But enough about my ex-boyfriend, today we’re talking about the Hismith Premium Sex Machine.
Some say it’s as good as machines that cost twice as much.
So how good is it really?
Stick around and find out!
Or, just glance at the TL;DR. That’s fine too.
Powerful motors with controllable speed up to a more-than-sufficient 240 strokes per minute with a stroke length of up to 6 inches. It works from multiple angles, so there’s lots of variety to be enjoyed, not to mention the many customization options and attachments you can add to it.
The Not So Good
It’s bulky, pretty heavy, and takes time and effort to set up and store. The Hismith is pretty easy to set up, but it’s not effortless. And while it’s good value for a sex machine, it’s certainly not cheap, so it’s not a mass-market product.
Who Is It For?
- You’re serious about sex toys
- You already have KlicLock, Vac-U-Lock, or suction cup dildos
- You have money to spend
- You want hands-free penetrating pleasure
- You want to simulate threesome using a toy
Who Is It Not For?
- You’re looking for a cheap vibrator
- You don’t want to spend any time setting up a sex toy
- You’re low on storage space
Table of Contents
Hismith Fucking Machine Review: First Impressions
When I opened my front door, I was greeted by a brown box that was smaller than I had expected. Heavy, though, which is a good sign. You don’t want to order a proper sex machine and get a box you can lift with one hand.
Once I cut through all the tape, I found a surprisingly nice black carrying case containing the magic machine itself.
Alongside that, there are all of the accessories, dildo, power supply, cables, etc.
It comes disassembled for transport, so once it’s put together, it’s not gonna fit back in the travel case. You could keep it in a large gym bag, I guess.
Hismith Specs Comparison
Hismith makes a bunch of different sex machines, but there are three premium models that we’re going to focus on today. The wired-controlled and the app-controlled are the same design and motor, just with different controls.
How Does The Hismith Premium Sex Machine Look And Feel?
Many sex machines aren’t very stable in use. It takes a surprising amount of power to thrust a dildo 4 times a second, and it will move the whole thing around quite a bit.
So the weight of the base is super important to keep the Hismith in one place.
The whole thing feels premium. All of the parts are well machined and easy to put together.
And once it’s all in one piece it looks nice. Mine is a nice shade of red with awesome Ferrari energy, so that’s a good time.
I was expecting it to look like the other sex machines. You know, a big, scary, industrial engine-looking thing that sounds like a muscle car revving in front of a stop sign.
But the Hismith looks friendly. Not quite cute, but non-threatening in a good way.
So how does it work?
Setting Up Hismith Sex Machine
This fucking machine does require a minor assembly. But rest assured—if I can do it, you can do it.
The Hismith comes with straightforward instructions, and it only took me about 15 minutes to put it together. There are easy-to-follow diagrams, too, so practically anyone should be able to set this machine up.
It’s really just a matter of attaching the legs to the base and the motor to the legs. After that, you’ll attach the thrusting rod, and that’s it. You’re ready to go!
How To Use Hismith: Wired, Remote, And App Controlled Sex Machine
With Wired Controls
The wired remote is as simple as it gets. It’s a black box with a red on/off switch and a dial that controls the speed. To change the stroke length you twist the knob on the side of the machine.
With Remote Control
The remote control option is easy too. It has four buttons – UP to go faster, DOWN to slow down, a big H button to stop or start the machine, and a triangle button that goes through different programs at varying speeds if you want to shake it up.
With the App
Plug the wired remote control in and use Bluetooth to pair your phone to your machine.
Once that’s done, you have a few options:
- You can select a program for the machine to follow and hit play. Whatever your desired stroke length, intensity or pattern, you’re sure to find something that gets you off. Or program your own!
- Remote play: You can give someone access to your machine over the internet for long-distance play, where your partner can control the speed of your machine by making gestures on their phone.
- Cam mode: if you’re a cam performer you can set up the Hismith to work on tips from people watching your show. It takes a bit of technical know-how to set up but anyone should be able to do it.
How to Adjust Hismith Stroke Length
Despite the clear assembly instructions, it’s not obvious that there’s an option to adjust the stroke length. This is an awesome feature, though. Make sure you use it for the best experience with the Hismith!
To adjust the Hismith stroke length:
- Look for the screw knob at the back of the machine.
- Turn it to loosen, then move it back for a longer stroke length or forward for a shorter stroke length.
- Make sure you’re only doing this when the machine is off!
Once you’ve found your desired length, screw it to tighten it, and then have fun!
Hismith have a whole ecosystem of extensions, adaptors, and attachments so you can use it with many of your favorite toys. Let me tell you about the most important ones real quick:
Standard Fleshlight Cover Adapter with Hismith Kliclok Connector
Want to use your machine with a Fleshlight? This adaptor clicks on to the end of the Hismith so you can fit your favorite sleeve to it and enjoy the hands-free fun!
Double Penetration Kliclok Adapter
Turn one thrusting dildo into two! You click it onto the metal bar and fit your dildos to each one, and you can enjoy getting railed twice as much.
A good deal on a bunch of super-useful stuff, like:
Vac-U-Lock attachment for the bigger toys
Suction cup adaptor – stick on any suction-cupped dildo
30cm extension rod – convenient and give you more range. Handy if you’re a squirter (the Hismith isn’t waterproof).
Spring connector – bends and moves so you can enjoy more different angles without adjusting the machine. Also helps with heavier toys.
G-spot clamp – holds any small-to-medium size g-spot vibrator, eg. rabbits.
Male masturbator bandage – A strap so that you can attach a Fleshlight or other masturbator sleeve.
All the same as for Lovers, excluding the g-spot clamp
All the same as for Lover, excluding male masturbator bandage
Hismith Dildo Attachments
Hismith 8″ Silicone Dildo
I’m ecstatic that all the Premium models come with high-quality silicone dildos, even though they’re quite affordable.
They’re soft but not too soft, offering just enough give to be realistic without feeling like they have no strength to them at all.
The veins on this bad boy can be a bit intense at higher speeds, so I’d recommend slower speeds if you’re sensitive to that.
On the other hand, the ridge around the head of the dildo protrudes enough that it gives some delightful G-spot stimulation or P-spot stimulation.
Hismith 10.2” Vibrating KlicLok Silicone Dildo
If you’re really into bigger sizes and want a little extra buzz in your Hismith experience, you can get this monster vibrating dildo to spice things up.
Made from the same high-quality silicone as the 8-inch version, the 10.2-inch dildo is soft but still intimidating. The vibrations add a totally new dimension to this sex machine.
The slight curve does a lot to intensify G-spot or P-spot stimulation too.
You can control the vibrations through a small remote, and the dildo is rechargeable.
Other Dildo Options
There are plenty of dildos that are compatible with the Hismith since it uses the popular KlicLok attachment.
One of my favorite compatible dildo options is the NS Colours range. Firstly, I love these dildos because of their vibrant colors, plus they’re very nicely shaped with a bulbous head and nice veiny texture.
If you want even more range, you can get the additional Vac-U-Lock adapter. This allows you to add dildos with a 2-inch base (or larger) onto your Hismith. Some of my favorites for this are SquarePegHole toys, Hankey’s Toys, and any of the Ubberrime range that include an attachment hole.
You can also buy a suction cup attachment for the Hismith, which is perfect if you already have your own suction cup dildos (or if you want to expand your collection).
How to Attach to KlicLok
The Hismith KlicLok system is a little bit finicky. But once you get used to it, it’s a breeze.
It’s also very sturdy, which is exactly what you want on a fucking machine.
- To attach your dildo, push back the moveable cylinder on the end of the thrust arm.
- Then, click the dildo attachment in place.
- To remove the dildo, pull the cylinder forward.
My Experience With Hismith
It took me about 15 minutes to get the whole thing working, which might sound like a lot but keep in mind I can barely change a lightbulb.
Everything fit together easily with just an Allen key (provided!) and there weren’t any hiccups except when I forgot which way you’re supposed to turn the screws.
Connecting it to my phone was easy too. Some toys and sex machines have janky apps or bad Bluetooth connections, but the Hismith is good-quality. Simple to connect and didn’t drop out once the whole time we’ve used it so far.
I LOVED giving over the controls to my partner and letting him control what happened via the app. Using it solo I kept it on the slower to medium settings, but he wanted to see it closer to full power with a shorter stroke length.
It was quite an experience combined with a clitoral vibrator! Welcome to orgasm city, especially when we got the angle to hit my g-spot.
The dildo that comes standard with the Hismith is good too. About 8 inches long (6ish insertable) with a nice diameter and a skin-like feel. It also has lovely veins and ridges all throughout its length.
It’s quite flexible and has a little give to it too. This comes in handy – I wouldn’t use the Hismith with a very rigid dildo. That said, I do think it needs more lube than usual.
I really love the fact that the dildo comes free with the machine AND it has a strong suction cup. So you can even use it separately from the machine.
What About Noise?
It’s surprisingly quiet.
Like, really quiet. Quieter than a lot of my vibrators.
When I saw that Hismith claimed it was no more than 50dB, I thought “no way. It’s gotta be at least 60.”
But damn, they were being honest. It was quiet enough that me and my partner could have a normal conversation and hear each other perfectly without having to raise our voices at all.
It’s not like you could hide the Hismith under a duvet, but the sound is easily covered up by some light music.
The sounds I made, however… well, you’d need a rock concert to cover that up!
Can You Play in Any Position?
Honestly, pretty much! The great thing about the Hismith is that it’s incredibly customizable. You can adjust both the height and the angle and it works well on any stable surface.
There are limitations. But with the lowest height being 3 inches and the highest being 1.5 feet, there’s a remarkable range of possibilities here. You can also angle the thrusting arm either up or down which gives you even more range.
It’s super easy to adjust the settings, just use the quick-release clamps until you find the position you want.
Usually, I’d recommend using the Hismith on the floor since it’s a nice stable surface, but if your mattress is relatively firm, you can certainly have some fun there too! Play around and see which positions are your favorites.
Just be sure to start at a slow speed to make sure the angle is comfortable.
Can it Simulate Threesome?
If you’ve ever considered a threesome (and let’s be honest, who hasn’t) but for one reason or another haven’t had that experience, a sex machine can be an amazing way to experience that without having to invite a third person into the bedroom.
You can be penetrated with the Hismith doggy style while giving your partner oral sex, or even receive oral sex while being penetrated in the missionary position if you can manage the angles!
There are also Fleshlight adapters for the Hismith if you want to experiment with different threesome dynamics.
Pro Tips: Getting The Most From Your Hismith
This fucking machine is super user-friendly, but it’s still a sex machine. And those can take some getting used to.
Here are some useful tips to getting the most out of this beast:
- Use A LOT of lube. The machine won’t stop just because you’re a bit dry, so if you’re not careful you’re gonna chafe.
- If you want to use bigger dildos, get the spring attachment. It makes everything so much easier.
- It moves around less on carpet than on tile or wood floors. It’s pretty secure everywhere but it does slip a bit on harder floors, so throw a rug or towel down.
- If you’re using a big dildo or want maximum speed, put some extra weight on the base like a sandbag or a kettlebell.
- Don’t adjust the machine while it’s still on. Always turn it off before changing the angle.
Things You Need to Know Before Buying Hismith
Which Premium Fucking Machine Should You Get?
The basic package is cheaper by about $80. It still has all of the other great stuff like the weighted base for stable thrusting, works with any of the other attachments, etc.
Connect your phone to the Hismith app and you can control it wirelessly over the internet. You can also create routines through the app that change the speed and stroke length at set intervals, or you can download routines made by other people. There’s also an online mode where people from all over the internet can control your machine! It’s more expensive but all of the extra options are worth the price difference.
Have you ever needed to double penetrate two people at the same time? Me neither, but it’s cool to have a machine that can do the job. It’s more maneuverable and just as quiet and easy to use as the others. Comes in app-controlled or wire-controlled.
Size and Weight
If you have mobility issues and you’re planning on using this toy alone, you may need to think of an alternative. This thing is bulky and heavy, so it’s not easy to move. At 25 lbs, it’s no bullet vibrator.
A sex machine isn’t something to buy flippantly. For most people, it’s the kind of thing you’ll need to save up for, so be realistic about whether it fits into your budget. If you need to, make a savings plan to make sure you can afford the cost.
Again, if you have any mobility issues, this might be tricky. There’s some set up required after you receive your Hismith, so you’ll need to be able to lift parts into place, and use both hands to assemble them.
Methods of Controlling the Machine
I love that you can control the Hismith by three different methods. You can use the wired control attached to the machine, the remote control, or the smartphone app. You’ll probably find you gravitate towards one after trying them all out.
Ease of Use
There’s no need to be intimidated by the Hismith because it’s incredibly easy to use. You can adjust the speed settings quickly and easily through any of the control options, and adjust the height or angle of the machine without the need for any tools.
The Hismith is made from stainless steel and ABS plastic – two quite sturdy materials and relatively standard for sex machines of this calibre. The food-grade silicone dildos are one of the things that set this machine apart from lower-quality options.
There is a little bit of rocking when it’s turned on that I didn’t like. The amount of power that this motor uses means that eventually, the slight rocking could turn into a problem. That’s in the very long run though. All-in-all, it’s a well-built machine.
Maintenance And Cleaning
The machine itself isn’t too hard to keep clean and operation-ready. It shouldn’t get much dirt on it, but if it does just wipe it down with a microfiber cloth or a VERY SLIGHTLY damp cloth.
Why very slightly damp?
Well, the Hismith ISN’T waterproof. Not at all. So no washing it and no taking it anywhere near the bathroom. You’ll also wanna avoid squirting on it as much as possible.
Hismith’s dildos are silicone, so you can wash them with mild soap and water and leave them to air-dry. Or you can use a toy cleaner.
Any other dildos you use will need to be cleaned in the appropriate way. Check with the manufacturer or look it up.
You should also keep the thrusting arm dry after use. I don’t know if it rusts, but you don’t want to find out the hard way.
Where To Buy + Price
The wired-controlled Hismith is $430, which for a machine of this quality is a bargain.
But if you’ve got an extra 70 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you should opt for the app-controlled version.
There are just so many more ways to enjoy getting fucked by a machine with the app.
You can use the discount code HSM10 at checkout to get 10% off AND a free spring attachment (worth $30) for your machine.
Hismith’s main warehouse is in Shenzhen, China. But they ship from their California warehouse.
They do ship for free and it will take 7-15 business days, or you can pay extra for expedited delivery, which is 3-6 business days.
If you don’t receive your order within 45 days, you can open a dispute and you’ll be fully refunded—no questions asked.
Both versions come with a 1-year warranty, which is extended to 2 years if the problem is the motor. I’d be surprised if anything went wrong with the Hismith inside a year, but that extra insurance is always nice to have.
However, this warranty only covers machine defects. That means if you accidentally break something through user error, it’s not covered.
For this reason, make sure you’re extra careful with the thrusting arm. If you get any cables caught in there, you’re on your own. If you’re using the wired remote, you’ll want to keep this in mind!
That also means you’ll need to be careful when cleaning it. Getting water inside the motor is a very quick way to turn your sex machine into an expensive doorstopper.
You’ll also want to oil the sliding rail every three months or so to make sure it keeps running smoothly. Use high-temperature wheel bearing grease for this.
What Do Other People Think? (Reddit)
It can save you lots of time, money, and heartache from making bad decisions with shitty people just because you wanted a good pounding. I use a machine daily, so if the Hismith breaks in one year (no reason to think it will), it will have cost a buck a day. Bargain.
The Hismith is a great sex machine, but it’s not exactly portable. If you want something that you can throw in a suitcase and still have room for your clothes, the Velvet Thruster Prime (in-depth review here) is a self-thrusting dildo with up to 3.5 inches of stroke length and 140 strokes per minute.
The rechargeable battery lasts for up to 8 hours which is incredible for a rechargeable sex toy, and there are some great customization options like a long reach handle and a suction cup.
And all that in a handheld package!
It doesn’t compete with the big boy sex machines, but it’s not really meant to. If you want the thrusting experience from a toy you hold in your hands, the Velvet Thruster will cost you around $250 (depends on your customization options).
And if you want an upgrade from the regular Hismith – the real cream of the crop – go for their Hismith Quadruple Penetration Fucking Machine. It looks like a machine gun and has about the same intensity.
It’s designed for double or even quadruple penetration (if you have two women on either side of the machine) and clocks out at a ludicrous 280 strokes per minute.
It’s incredibly easy to adjust and rotate, so it’s more versatile than the regular Hismith Premium. PLUS it has enough torque to bang two asses at once.
The best they have to offer is $690 for the wired-controlled version and $790 for the app-controlled (which you should get if you can).
Not cheap, but a much lower price than comparable sex machines. For a high-quality American-made DP fucking machine, you’d be looking at $1000+ and that’s still no guarantee of a better experience.
Kink Power Banger
Another small option is the Kink Power Banger from Doc Johnson. It’s significantly lighter than the Hismith, which could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
The lightweight body is easier to move, but it also makes it less stable.
The motor on the Power Banger is only half the strength of the Hismith and has a lower RPM, but somehow manages to be louder.
Finally, the Hismith is much more versatile with the height, angle, and stroke length all being adjustable. The Power Banger is only angle adjustable.
However, the Power Banger has a safer housing which ensures you can’t accidentally get something (like your fingers or the control cable) caught in the thrusting arm.
Take a look at the Hismith compared to the Kink Power Banger:
Sex machines are a serious investment for people who want to get seriously sexed. If that sounds like your thing, the Hismith Premium fucking machine is easily the best bang for your buck and competes with sex machines that cost $1000 or more.