3 BDSM Scene Ideas & How To Properly Prepare For Them

If you’ve been dabbling in some BDSM play with your partner, you’re probably always looking to improve the experience.

And setting the right BDSM scene can really help you take things to another level.

So, in today’s post, we’ll discuss all the things you need to know about setting the BDSM scene, and I even have three spicy scene ideas for you!

Let’s jump right in:

Table of Contents

What is a BDSM Scene?

BDSM scene is basically a pre-planned space where your BDSM activities usually take place.

It can take place in various locations – your bedroom, a hotel room, or a dedicated BDSM dungeon if you have access to one.

A typical BDSM scene is usually discussed between the participants beforehand, including all the details like what will happen during and what are the limits.

A BDSM scene can include sexual activity, but it doesn’t have to.

How To Prepare For It?

Preparation for BDSM play is crucial to ensure the best possible experience for both parties.

Have An Open Discussion With Your Partner

First and foremost, before creating a scene, it’s important to communicate honestly with your partner.

It’s good to establish your goals, why you’re doing this, and what you want to achieve. It can be anything from sexual pleasure to stronger intimacy.

Also, this is the best time to discuss what are your fantasies for the BDSM scene, both from the dom and sub positions.

It’s important that you both are on the same page when it comes to understanding pleasure and what turns you on.

Maybe your partner wants to play out the rape scene, but that sort of roleplay is not something you’re interested in. Talk with your partner about it.

Of course, it might not be possible to discuss all the possible scenarios that can take place during the scene, so it might be useful to get a checklist for that.

Write down the activities your dominant partner can choose from, and it will ensure that everything goes smoothly.

Create A Safe Word

Before any type of BDSM play, it’s crucial to create a safe word, you both can remember and use in case something goes wrong.

It’s best if the safe word is easy to remember and something that you won’t randomly say during sexual activity, like ‘no,’ ‘don’t,’ or ‘stop.’

You can use the green/yellow/red system if you’re very new to this whole world:

Green – use it to indicate everything is going well.
Yellow – use it when you’re fine with the activities, but need to slow down.
Red – use it when you want the activity to end.

Some people might not be able to speak and express themselves verbally when distressed during the scene (especially if they’re wearing a mouth gag), so it might be a good idea to come up with non-verbal communication.

Some of the non-verbal communication includes:

Snapping fingers
Dropping an object
Touching an object

Establishing a secure way to communicate when things go south is important, do don’t dismiss it!

Know That Some Things Might Not Go As Planned

While you might want to plan every little detail and hope that nothing goes sideways, it doesn’t usually work this way.

And that’s totally fine!

Don’t be upset if the restrains get loose or if you mess something up; it doesn’t have to ruin your scene, so just go with the flow.

Also, some activities you have planned might not work out so well in reality.

Oh, well, shit happens!

Move on and focus on things that work well in the time being and then adjust the nest time.

How To Plan A Scene

It’s time to actually get to planning the scene, and there are three phrases for each BDSM scene you have to know about:

Before

Choose the best location for your BDSM scene and get it ready for the play.

If you’re new, simply performing the scene in your bedroom is great, or you can rent a hotel room if that’s part of your fantasy.

Setting up the atmosphere is important, so think about what activities you’re going to be performing on your sub and prepare the things you might need.

If you don’t have a particular scenario or fantasy in mind (which is totally fine, all doms are different!), you might want to get your whole arsenal of sex toys on display.

Make it easy for you to reach for things so that you don’t have to leave in the middle of the scene and go search for a particular dildo you forgot to gab before the session.

Regulate the temperature of the room you’re in, maybe make it hotter or cooler, depending on your preference.

Also, light up some candles which will allow you to have quick access to hot wax to use on your sub if you want to play with temperature during the scene.

You also should ask your sub to shower and make themselves presentable, the way you want them to be. Don’t forget to dress up and shower yourself.

Prepare for the scene like you would for a date!

It might also be a good idea to have some sort of indication that the scene is starting.

This could either be as simple as you issuing the command to your sub, like ‘get naked’ or ‘kneel.’

Or it can be something like putting a collar on their neck, indicating that you’re the one in control.

During

The BDSM scene is all about you connecting with your partner, having fun and pleasurable time!

It’s best to forget about the outside world when you’re in the middle of the scene, detach yourself from your usual dynamics in the relationship and give in to the desire.

Each dom is different, so you choose whether you want to be loud and issue commands often, or if the scene is more quite and non-verbal.

Don’t be shy, and let your imagination guide you, do all the activities that turn you and your partner on.

If you’re a sub and feel like something is not comfortable during the scene, or you’re getting stressed, be verbal about it.

While the mild feeling of being uncomfortable is part of the play, if something doesn’t feel right, tell your partner.

Also, remember that just because you or they used the safe word, it doesn’t mean that the scene was a failure, and it’s a disaster.

Talk with your partner, adjust and get back into the swing of things if you feel like it, and finish of the scene, just at a different pace.

Most people think that sexual activity is a given during the BDSM scene, but it doesn’t have to, and it depends on you and your partner entirely.

After

After the scene is over, the restraints come off, and it’s time for some aftercare.

It’s important to really relax and take care of yourself and your partner during this time, as BDSM can leave some unsettling feelings even when everything is safe and consensual.

Have a shower, get some tea or coffee, put some cream on places that are sore after the scene.

Pro Tip

Spend some time cuddling with your partner, talking about your emotions and experiences during the scene, what you liked, and what you didn’t.

Having that calm winding down after the exhausting BDSM scene is part of the whole experience, so don’t neglect it!

3 Common BDSM Scene ideas

Want some spicy scene ideas for your next BDSM play session?

Well, I’ve got you!

Here are three scenarios perfect for the beginners:

Scenario #1: Roleplay

The most popular BDSM scenario, hands down, is roleplay.

It can be great to establish different power dynamics by choosing to play different roles.

Maybe one of you can be a librarian, and the other can be a student?

Or a pirate and an innocent girl stolen from her land?

There are plenty of different role-play scenarios to choose from, and everyone can find something for their taste.

Scenario #2: Orgasm Denial

Another popular BDSM play is denying your partner their pleasure culmination.

You can either do that by teasing them, but never letting them finish. Or it can be that you only let them orgasm once you reach your third one.

It can be a great and easy way to get started in the BDSM and doesn’t require too much of your imagination.

Scenario #3: It Doesn’t Have To Be Sexual All The Time

As I mentioned a few times before already, BDSM doesn’t have to involve sexual activity.

Sometimes it’s all about mental power exchange.

You can make your partner dress up with silly clothing and clean the house, or you can chain them on top of silly clothing as well.

Another idea would be to let them be your stool, kneeling on all fours while you watch TV and sit on the couch.

This Dominance/submission dynamic is a turn on for many people, and it doesn’t have to involve any sexual activity if you don’t want it.

Other People Scene Ideas & Experiences

And now, let’s take a look at what people on the internet are sharing about their experience setting the BDSM scene:

“I’ve always found massage sessions and spa days my favorite to play out.

Laying down naked under the white sheet waiting for the person to come massage your body and then massaging in oils and getting lower and lower.

Eventually they take advantage of the situation and are forcing you to bend over while they fuck you.”

Anonymous

Reddit user

“My advice would be to set an end goal. Let’s say for example you two want to do a bondage scene again, set the end goal as he denies you 5 orgasm for every orgasm (I don’t know if that’s too much, too few, adjust how you need to have been satisfied when it’s over) and work to that goal.

He’ll be more dominant cause the goal is for him to take charge of you even though it might not seem that way.”

Acurnss

Reddit user

“I built a random generator in Excel with our toys, costume and scenario ideas, and general mood.

It’s not something I use every time we play, but I give it a spin or two when we’re going to an event to kickstart the creativity.

Another option is to pick up Kinkstarter cards and sit down for a talk.”

Bass_Instincts

Reddit user

Conclusion

And here you have it – everything you need to know about preparing for the BDSM scene, what to do before, during, and after, and some spicy scenarios for beginners!

BDSM is a great way to explore a whole new sexual pleasure world and a great way to connect with your partner even more.

So, don’t be shy and get to planning your first BDSM play!