Using a Vibrator in Public? 6 Expert-Approved Tips [2022]

Does public play make you excited but afraid of getting caught? Try using a vibrator in public! Check out our tips on how to use a wearable vibe in public.

using a vibrator in public

Sex in public can sound very intriguing – the taboo, the danger of being caught, the naughtiness of it all … It’s adventurous and exciting….

And illegal. 

Honestly, ACTUALLY getting caught will really ruin your good times, and you might end up with a criminal record. Also, it won’t be fun explaining the public indecency charge to your employer.

But you know what’s just as fun and exciting but also WAY safer? Using a vibrator in public! 

Not just any vibrator – a vibrator specifically designed to be worn out and about. You can have all the naughty taboo fun with a much lower risk. But how should you go about it? Well, if you’re new to public play, this article is just what you need. 

You’re in luck because I’ve used vibes in public on more than one occasion (what can I say? I’m freaky like that) and have plenty of friends that have done the same. So you’re in good hands – I will tell you a bit about public play, share some tried and tested tips, and even recommend some awesome wearables for you to try. 

Ready? Let’s go. 


Why Do People Engage In Public Play? 

A lot of people are turned on by the taboo aspect of publicly engaging in sexual activity. There is always the possibility you will get caught, which ups the adrenaline and makes the whole experience very exciting. 

A lot of people like to give up control of their pleasure over to their partner. Public play adds to the power dynamic when one person wears the toy, and another holds the control. 

The party that wears the vibrator is left even more “helpless” because they’re trying to hide the fact they’re being pleasured and have no idea when their partner will “strike” next.

This kind of roleplay should all be entirely consensual, of course! 

Yet, despite all of the perceived danger, public play when using wearable vibrators is actually quite safe. Vibrators made for public play are small and extra quiet, and since you and your partner are not naked and on top of each other, the chances passers-by will catch on is minuscule. 

Public play with toys offers you a lot of adrenaline but almost no real risk, so you’re left with the fun part and won’t have to gear a public indecency charge. 


Types Of Public Play

Solo play

We all know that masturbation is perfectly healthy. It makes your brain produce happy chemicals to lift your mood and helps you relieve stress.

FUN FACT

The late Betty Dodson, a wonderful sex educator and patron saint of the female orgasm, once sat on a bullet vibe to calm her nerves before giving a lecture to a packed auditorium (because wearables were not a thing in the 80s).

Masturbation is also just plain FUN. It could be even more fun if you kick things up a notch by doing it secretly in public. 

You can stimulate yourself externally or internally. 

External stimulation most often refers to clitoral stimulation but can also include stimulating other erogenous zones like the nipples. During external public stimulation, the sex toy you use will sit on top of the stimulated area. 

Internal play means your toy will be put inside your vagina or anus. 

There are even some wearables that can offer you dual stimulation. 


Partner play

Giving up control to your partner is a HUGE turn-on for many people. It’s exciting when you don’t know what’s coming next. You can also just “lay back” and enjoy your partner’s moves. 

Well, public play adds a new angle to power play. Your partner can have the remote control for your wearable toy and surprise you with pleasurable vibrations at any moment or even make you cum in a public place.

You just have to make sure no innocent bystanders catch on to your little game. It’s fun trying to keep your poker face when you’re pulsating with pleasure. 

You can also play externally or internally with a partner, depending on what you are into. 

You don’t have to be in the submissive role – think about flipping the script and controlling your partner’s toy – there are plenty of wearables for both girls and guys. 


Some Tips On Vibrating In Public 

Like any other activity, public play must be thought through to go smoothly. This is especially important if you’re a newbie and aren’t sure what to expect YET. You should do what you can to ensure a positive experience for yourself and your partner.  

1. Try your toy out beforehand

Don’t go out with a toy you have never used. That’s a recipe for disaster in more than one way. 

First, you must make sure you like how the toy feels. Even the most expensive and luxurious toy might just not do it for you. Or worse – it might cause you pain and discomfort. 

Trying out the toy at home will spare you from nasty surprises. Also, if you don’t like it, removing it at home is way easier than removing it in public places.

A trial run will also make you familiar with the toy’s controls. You’ll be able to check how stable the connection between the remote and the toy is. You’ll also save yourself from any mishaps that might lead to public embarrassment.


2. Pick Out Your Clothes

Different wearables call for different outfits. 

If you’re choosing to use an external stimulator, tights might not be your thing because the outline of the toy would be very visible. Instead, stick to jeans or dresses, depending on your comfort level. Always look in the mirror before going out to ensure your toy is your little secret. 

With internal stimulators, you can wear whatever you want, even if it’s revealing. Some people even wear them to the beach or pool. A fun idea for anybody brave enough


3. Choose The Right Partner

Public play comes with a lot of adrenaline. It can be both exciting and kind of scary. There is a thin line between those two. If you want to include a partner, make sure it’s somebody you can trust who knows your boundaries and won’t cross them. 

That said, public play might not be the best choice for new partners – take your time to get to know each other first, so you can avoid any mishaps caused by not knowing each other’s limits. 


4. Pick A Location You’re Comfortable With

I know that the whole point of public play is to experience some danger, but you should be careful not to overdo it. After all, this is pretend danger, the fun kind, like going on a rollercoaster. However, that doesn’t mean you should neglect safety and comfort. 

Some popular locations for public play include restaurants, grocery shops, cafes, theatres, malls, and bars.

Start slow. You can up the stakes when you’re a bit more experienced. 

When trying public play for the first time, go somewhere close to where you leave – that will make you feel safer, and it’s easier to opt out and go home if you feel overwhelmed.

Restaurants are a great location for public play – there are plenty of people around, but they aren’t too close to you to hear any faint buzzing noises or notice any wincing. The waiter can come at any moment, which makes things very exciting. There is also chatter and music, so you don’t have to worry about being overheard. The sitting position will increase your toy’s vibrations, whether external or internal.

Another great idea is going to a bar. Strangers might be closer to you, which makes everything feel extreme. At the same time, the music is loud, and the atmosphere is very dynamic with people dancing and moving around, so the chances of anybody noticing what you’re doing are close to zero. 

Restaurants and bars have bathrooms, so you’ll always have a place to take off your toy if you become overwhelmed or if said toy becomes uncomfortable to wear. 


5. Lube Up!

Lubricant is a very important part of any type of play, especially when toys are involved, since they don’t have natural lubrication. It becomes even MORE important if your wearable toy is made for anal play. 

Lube will protect your insides from irritation, inflammation, injury, and painful sensations. The wetness will also make you more susceptible to pleasure. 

The best lubricant option for public play will probably be water-based lube since it’s completely safe for all toys (unlike silicone lube which will degrade and irreversibly damage silicone toys.) It also doesn’t leave stains and can be washed off with water (unlike oil-based lubes that will probably ruin your underwear and clothes). 

The downside of water-based lube is that it dries out rather quickly and can be too thin for your liking.  Make sure to get water-based lube with a gel-like consistency – it will last you longer and protect you better. 

Put a generous amount of lube on both yourself and the toy before going out. Bring some lube with you as a safety net – it’s always better to be prepared. 


6. Choose The Right Toy

Not all toys are suitable for public play. Your best bet is to get something designed specifically for this purpose. 

Your toy should be EXTRA quiet. The buzzing will alert the people around you that something is happening, and you don’t ACTUALLY want to get caught, do you?

Read online reviews to make sure you’re getting a quiet toy because many manufacturers claim their toys are nearly silent when that’s not the case at all. When you get it, you can always test how loud it is – if it’s still very noticeable while the TV is on at a normal volume, it probably isn’t the best option for stealthy fun.

Remember that internal toys are always quieter than external ones because your body cushions the sound. 

Make sure to get a vibrator that will stay where it should be – you don’t want a sex toy falling out of your clothes when you’re out and about, right? Or one that changes position and doesn’t hit your sweet spot anymore.  

Get a vibe that’s controlled either by a remote or by an app. Don’t make the mistake of getting a manually controlled toy, turning it on at home, and walking out. You won’t have any way of stopping it if the stimulation becomes unpleasant if you encounter a situation where you wouldn’t want a working vibe in you. 

Make sure you get something small and soft that would be comfortable to wear for long periods of time. 

When buying a wearable toy, silicone is the way to go. It’s very soft, which makes silicone toys comfortable to wear. It’s also non-porous so that it can be thoroughly disinfected. This will prevent you from any irritation or inflammation.

It’s best to get a rechargeable toy. They’re quieter because no batteries are rattling around inside. They also last longer than any toy with standard batteries. 

That said, there are many vibrators out there, and you might get overwhelmed when trying to find something good. Don’t worry, because I’ve got you covered.

Here is a short list of toys I personally think are among the best for public play.


The Best Toys For Public Play 

SexualAlpha Top Pick

1. Lovense Lush 3

MATERIAL:
Silicone
Battery:
Rechargeable
Type of stimulation:
Internal
Features:
App-compatibility
PRICE:
$$
  • G-spot stimulation
  • Best connectivity
  • Control from anywhere
  • Endless possibilities for patterns
  • Up to 5 hours of battery life
  • High price

Lovense goes above and beyond when it comes to toys with a stable Bluetooth connection, which is very important for public play adventures. They also make some of the most luxurious high-quality toys on the market today. It’s no wonder Lush 3 is our top pick for a public play toy. 

Lush’s premium quality and design have made it an icon among sex toys. If you engage with adult entertainment, there is no way you haven’t seen it. 

The Lush 3 is a silicone penetrable wearable vibe shaped to target your G-spot. 

Doesn’t that sound fun? 

It will stay in place once you put it in, no matter how much you move about.  It’s rather small so that you can walk around comfortably. 

It has a fixed tail, which always sticks out, so the toy won’t get stuck in you. Then, after you’re done, you can just pull it out by the tail. 

The Lush is also rechargeable and waterproof so that you can play anywhere. (Wink-wink)

The Lush 3 is compatible with the Lovense Remote app and can be controlled with your smartphone. 

The Bluetooth connectivity you get is superior to virtually anything else you can find on the market, so your playtime will not be interrupted. 

The app lets you create your own vibration patterns so you can get off to any rhythm you like. Vibration modes are practically endless – you will never stop having fun exploring the possibilities!

 Lush’s vibrations can also sync up to any tune! A great feature for solo public play – you’re not doing anything naughty; you’re just listening to some music…

Lush 3 has an astounding battery run time – UP TO 5 HOURS… so your public play session can last THAT LONG. Oh wow. 

The motors are very quiet, so no one will overhear you having fun. 

Also, keep in mind that this is a somewhat expensive toy, but I guarantee that’s more than fair for the features and quality you’ll be getting.


Upgrade Pick

2. Lelo Lyla 2

MATERIAL:
ABS plastic, silicone
Battery:
Rechargeable, 2xAAA batteries for the remote
Type of stimulation:
Internal
Features:
Vibrating remote control
PRICE:
$$$
  • Premium quality
  • Internal and external use
  • Remote control
  • Both parts of the toy vibrate
  • Satisfying range of the remote
  • Expensive

If you want to splurge on a premium vibe, look no further than Lelo – the Gucci of the sex toy world. Lelo always has a luxury toy to offer, and the Lyla 2 is great for some discreet public fun. 

Lelo uses the highest quality materials for every part of the toy. Of course, this makes the products expensive, but the splurge is worth it!  

This toy includes an insertable egg with a pull-out cord and an oval remote control made from ABS plastic and body-safe silicone. The egg is perfect for internal stimulation when you’re out and about but can also be used externally indoors. 

Lyla 2 has 8 vibration settings, so you can adjust it to your level of sensitivity.

The remote ALSO VIBRATES, so your partner can also feel the vibrations you feel inside you. This makes for better communication while playing publicly. When alone, your partner can use it as a second vibe for double the fun!

The remote ranges up to 36 meters, a great range for playing in public. 

The motors are very quiet, so you don’t have to be at a noisy bar to get into some discreet kinky fun.

The remote can be controlled with buttons OR by MOVEMENT. Move the remote around and see the changes in intensity. Instead of struggling with buttons, you can just follow your intuition!

If you’re worried a significant investment will be worth it – the Lyla 2 comes with a 1-year warranty. So keep calm – you’re covered in the unlikely event this breaks. 


Best for Public Play

3. OhMiBod Esca 2

MATERIAL:
Silicone, ABS
Battery:
Rechargeable
Type of stimulation:
Internal
Features:
4 Manual Modes, App-Customized
PRICE:
$$
  • G-spot stimulation
  • Super stealthy motors
  • LED indicator
  • The app can track your orgasms
  • Programming your patterns
  • Motors could be stronger

Ohmibod Esca is an insertable vibrator, pretty similar in shape to the Lush 3 by Lovense.

It targets the G-spot with rumbly vibrations in 4 manual modes – just enough variety to get your heart pumping.

The motors are EXTREMELY quiet, so don’t be afraid of being overheard in public. That said, this toy is not the strongest on our list, but you should remember that stronger motors are also noisier.

This toy has a LED light that syncs to your vibes, but turn it off while you’re out, so don’t worry about your LED crotch giving your secret away.

The Esca also has an app, so you can control it via your smartphone. It comes with all other features you expect – programming your own patterns, syncing to music, etc.

The most interesting feature is the Oh!dometer, which tracks how many orgasms you’ve had in the past week, along with other stats. It’s very useful for all the ladies that have trouble finishing. 

Another amazing feature is that the Esca is compatible with Kiiroo sex toys which specialize in aiding long-distance play. You can sync the two products, and then they can react to each other.

It’s almost like your partner’s in the room with you!  


Best Vibe For Public Anal Play

4. Lovense Hush

MATERIAL:
Silicone
Battery:
Rechargeable
Type of stimulation:
Internal
Features:
App controls, ridges at the base
PRICE:
$$$
  • Comes in different sizes
  • Ridges at the neck
  • Strong and rumbly vibrations
  • Remote control AND app control
  • Customizable patterns
  • Girthy for beginners

Public play isn’t just about the vagina… the butt should have some fun too! And lovense HUSH is FUN!

Since this is a butt plug toy, it is suitable for both girls and guys. Who knows – maybe you’re a dude that likes to be controlled instead of control. 

There are different sizes, and I’d recommend you get the one that’s 1.5″ at the widest part since we’re talking about wearing it and walking around with it. If you want to go larger and can handle it for public play, there is a 1.75″ option. 

This toy has ridges at the neck. They hold on to lube AND provide you with extra stimulation.

This toy has some most powerful and rumbly vibrations of any butt plug on the market. Keep in mind that when using it as an outside toy, you should keep Hush at the lower settings, so you don’t hear the buzzing. 

You can control Hush via your smartphone, just like any other Lovense product. The connection is MORE THAN stable, and you can go wild thinking of patterns and playing with the fun features. 

The Hush might be a little thick for beginners – I mean beginners regarding anal play, not regarding public play. If it’s too big for you, look at the Hush 2, which comes in a 1″ wide version.


Best Panty Vibe

5. We-Vibe Moxie

MATERIAL:
Silicone
Battery:
Rechargeable
Type of stimulation:
External
Features:
App controls
PRICE:
$$
  • Comfortable to wear
  • Stays in place
  • Strong rumbly motors
  • App controls
  • Not stealthy enough for quiet places

We haven’t forgotten about external stimulation! One of the most comfortable options for public play is a panty vibe, and Moxie is the best out there.

It fits under any tight-fitting underwear, and a magnet holds it in place so it can target your sweet spot. It will even stay in place even if you’re jogging. Not to mention it’s comfortable to wear so you can have fun with some long play sessions. 

The vibrations are strong and rumbly, but the Moxie offers more of a BROAD type of stimulation – it doesn’t pinpoint your clitoris. That could be a good thing – a broader stimulation makes for more build-up and stronger orgasms! 

Keep in mind this isn’t the stealthiest in quiet places, but it’s great for a restaurant or a bar! I even have to say it performs pretty impressively in the ninja department for an external vibe. 

We-Vibe also has an app called We-Connect, very similar to the Lovense one. So you can connect Moxie to that app and have all the fun new technologies offer you – custom patterns and so on. 


Best For Solo Public Play

6. Vibease

MATERIAL:
Silicone
Battery:
Rechargeable
Type of stimulation:
External
Features:
Syncs to erotic audiobooks
PRICE:
$$
  • Syncs to erotic audiobooks
  • Gentle but rumbly vibrations
  • Stealthy
  • A bit bulky

Sometimes you want to indulge in a little public play by yourself. But you also need something to turn you on. Vibease has thought of you! 

It’s a  vibe that can be used manually or as a panty vibe. Vibrations are fairly rumbly but gentle, so it’s great for outdoor play. The soft motor also makes it very quiet and discreet, so nobody will know what’s happening. 

Keep in mind it’s kinda bulky, and steer clear of yoga pants and jeggings when wearing it.  

Vibease has all the Internet, Bluetooth control, and customizable vibration patterns you might expect. 

The most interesting feature is that Vibease gives you access to their library of erotic audiobooks, and the toy syncs to the story.

Now, if that isn’t great for some solo play, I don’t know what is! So put it on your underwear, wear some earbuds, and go to the park for some good times.   

There’s a wide range of stories suitable for every taste, so I’m sure you’ll find something for you.


FAQ

My partner is feeling shy about public play. What should I do?

You have to understand that public play is not for everybody, as is the case with any other sexual activity. Respect your partner’s feelings and don’t push too hard, or you might cross a boundary. 

Ask your partner to experiment with you on a small scale. Get a small vibe, put it on the lowest setting, and don’t go too far from your place – maybe walk around the building or, mostly, the block. See how they feel about that. If they enjoyed it, proceed slowly and take things step by step.

If they are COMPLETELY opposed to the idea, don’t push it – sexual activities should be enjoyable for BOTH of you. You can always engage in some solo public play if you want to! 


How do I know if my vibrator is quiet enough for public play?

Generally, a vibrator should be fine to use as long as its maximum noise level is lower than 50 dB.

Check toy reviews online, especially those left by customers, to check if the toy is as quiet as they market it.  You can test your toy at home by checking if the vibration is still heard, if there is music on or if the TV is running (both at a reasonable level).

If the vibrations are NOT noticeable, you are good to go.


Do men like it when they control their partner’s vibrator in public?

Of course, people have their preferences and like different things… but to answer your question – YES, many men like to control their partner’s vibe in public. 

Why

It’s a game about controlling and puts the partners in either dominant or submissive roles.

Some men like the dominant role and want to be the ones holding the remote. A lot of guys enjoy seeing how their partner is trying to keep it together while they’re pleasuring them. 

Of course, some guys prefer the submissive role and would like to wear a toy themselves and be controlled by their partner. That can also be a very fun scenario and deserves to be looked into, don’t you think? 

Public play is a fantasy for many couples regardless of gender and sexual orientation. However, if you’re into exploring power dynamics in the bedroom, you will probably also enjoy public play with a partner.  


What does “wearable vibrator” mean?

Isn’t it obvious

Wearable vibes are hands-free toys that you can … well, wear. They’re small enough to be either comfortably inserted into you or attached to your clothes. 

Most wearable vibrators have a remote control or can be connected to your phone, so you can play freely.  You can use them solo or with a partner.  

Most of these toys are designed with discreet public play in mind, so they are pretty quiet, small, and can be hidden under your clothes. 

Some wearable vibrators are designed for penetration (either vaginal or anal). Once you put them in, they STAY where they are supposed to be, and you can walk around with them inside you.

Other models are made solely for external stimulation and can be attached to your underwear, so they can massage the vulva. 

If you want the best of both worlds – there are wearable toys that combine external AND internal stimulation!


Bluetooth sex toys vs. Wi-Fi sex toys – which is better? 

You may have seen that some remote-controlled vibes have a Bluetooth connection, and others connect via WiFi. 

Bluetooth is a short-range connection that can be blocked by obstacles such as walls, while toys connected to Wi-Fi can be stronger. As long as you have a stable internet connection, that is. 

So which is better? 

It depends on your specific situation.

For public play, using a toy with a Bluetooth remote is just fine.  A lot of newer remote-control vibrators use both.

I promise you that for close-range public play, you can have a blast with whatever connection you have, as long as you use a quality toy. 


Conclusion

I hope this article was useful for you. Public play is a very achievable fantasy, as long as you know how to go about it. So go on and have fun – just be careful not to get all caught up in the pleasure and spook passers-by with loud moaning, ok

Aliyah Moore

Aliyah Moore

Aliyah Moore (she/her) is our resident sex expert at SexualAlpha. She’s a certified sex therapist with a Ph.D. in Gender & Sexuality Studies. Aliyah is a proud Black, bi-sexual femme passionate about empowering minority voices to embrace their sexuality and identity. She loves to write about everything sexual wellness and gives no-nonsense sex and relationship advice.

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.