The ULTIMATE Pegging For Beginners Guide [2022]

So you want to properly prepare for your first time pegging and avoid the most common mistakes? Let’s get started then…

pegging kits shown

Are you a man who enjoys the sensation of having something inserted into his anus? Or perhaps a woman who enjoys penetrating a man’s anus with a strap-on dildo?

If you are one of these people, then this guide is for you!

In this article, I will help you understand what it means to “peg” someone and how it can be done safely and pleasurably.

I will also teach you about the various types of pegging toys, how to choose the right one for your partner, and how to prepare for your first time.

If you’re ready, let’s jump right in!


What Is Pegging?

People tend to have different definitions of pegging based on how they’ve heard the term used before.

Pegging is commonly defined as an act of sexual role reversal wherein a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner’s anus.

However, the definition can get a little nuanced depending on context.

First off, pegging doesn’t always require wearing a strap-on toy. In addition, it isn’t actually an exclusive act for heterosexual couples.

For example, in the LGBT community, pegging can also refer to when a woman penetrates either the vagina or anus of another woman using a sex toy.

In this case, pegging isn’t just about female domination but also about the exploration of a wide variety of sexual identities—including those that fall outside the binary male/female divide.

Some may view pegging as a way to explore their sexuality and challenge heteronormative ideas, while others may be into it because of its orgasmic potential.

That said, whether you’re into it for the kink, the orgasms, or equality, there’s no question that pegging opens new doors of pleasure.


How do I tell my partner that I want to try pegging?

As with every sexual act, communication is key to ensuring that both of you enjoy your pegging session.

This means that you and your partner need to have a good discussion about why you want to try pegging. 

When you first bring up the idea of trying pegging with your partner, talk about what it entails, how it works, and why you think it could be fun.

Ask your partner specific questions about their preferences and fantasies, which may help you determine if pegging is right for you.

Most importantly, you need to ask if they’d like to be penetrated and how deep.

Discuss what type of other kinks or fetishes they’d like to try during your pegging session and what kind of toy they’d like to use.

Once you’re in the same boat, you and your partner can come to an informed mutual decision about whether you want to try it or not.


What accessories do we need to try pegging?

Dildo

A dildo is the most basic tool you’ll need to get started with pegging.

While this type of toy is primarily designed to stimulate the vagina, it can also be used for anal penetration to stimulate the prostate.

It’s the easiest toy to use for pegging because it allows you to penetrate at various angles with controlled depth and force.

Dildos come in various sizes and textures, so you’ll find one that fits comfortably into your anal cavity.


Vibrator

You can use a vibrator to add some extra “oomph” to your pegging sessions.

Why? Well, because vibrators are great for massaging the prostate gland.

This spot is a very sensitive area, so using a vibrator during pegging can heighten your pleasure.

Most vibrators have variable speeds and patterns, while basic ones offer steady vibrations. You can easily adjust the settings to find a rhythm that matches your mood.


Strap-on

A strap-on dildo is a toy specifically designed for pegging.

Some people prefer to use a strap-on dildo because they take the stress off of their hands. It also allows them to roleplay with their partner and engage in intricate sexual positions.

The most important thing about using a strap-on dildo is finding a harness that fits properly.

Straps that fit tightly allow for better control over your movements and penetration speed.


Lube

Since pegging involves anal penetration, lube is a MUST!

If you don’t use enough lube, pegging can hurt your partner’s anus, which will ultimately ruin the fun.

So, before you go any further, make sure you have plenty of lubricant on hand.

It’s always recommended to use water-based lube to avoid damaging the toy.


Cock ring

If you want to intensify your pegging experience, then you can put a vibrating cock ring on your sex toy.

A cock ring is a piece of rubber that is usually worn around the shaft of the penis.

By using it on a dildo, you can enhance your partner’s pleasure during penetration by simultaneously stimulating their perianal skin (the skin that surrounds the anus).

Pleasuring this erogenous zone can bring your partner to climax much faster than usual.


How to Peg a Partner

Now that you’ve been informed about the essential tools you need for pegging, it’s time to learn how it’s done.

To begin, you’ll need to get yourselves ready. Make sure the receiver’s anus or vagina is clean.

If you’ll be using a strap-on dildo, I highly recommend shaving down your pubic region and your partner’s butt hair.

It’ll help you reduce friction during penetration and prevent snagging the toy on your pubic hair, which can lead to discomfort.

When you’re both ready, apply a generous amount of lube to the toy and your partner’s anus.

After that, you’ll need to insert your dildo into your partner’s anus. Make sure you don’t go too deep at first, as this could hurt your partner.

Once you’re in, slowly start rocking back and forth, using short strokes.

You should be able to feel your partner’s muscles squeezing around the dildo.

Repeat the process until you feel your partner’s muscles relax.


Pegging Tips & Tricks

#1 – Talk It all Out: Explain How You Want It To Go Down

It’s important to align his and her expectations.

He knows better what he might like – how deep, how hard to go.

Also, discuss if you want to go full-on power play – dominant/submissive play, or if you just want to experience pegging and not mix other things in.

If he doesn’t know what he wants – expect to talk a lot during the first time.

When you’re doing things – ask him:

  • Is this good?
  • Faster? Slower?
  • Deeper?

The key is to ask simple questions that he can answer with yes or no to avoid breaking the groove.

You don’t want to be thinking much during the pegging process, you want to experience it.


#2 – Find the Right Pegging toys For You

There is no shortcutting this step – it will take time to find the toys you like.

best strapon for pegging sizes and angles

For him – it’s all about the dildo.

The size, curve, and looks of it. The prostate location is a little different for each man, so just getting several affordable dildos and butt plugs is a way to go.

Get a simple non-realistic little curved Tantus dildo & harness kit if you’re new.

It’s a combo of vibrations, dildo, and harness for a good price, but it’s not the best quality harness.

It will give you a lot better idea of what you like, and don’t like so you can make a better choice the next time.

Spareparts Joque Harness

For her – it’s about the harness and how comfortable it is. Spareparts Joque is the most comfortable.

As for her pleasure, know that double or strapless strapons are advanced toys that are not advisable for beginners.

Yes, you can add a bullet vibrator, but start with a simple dildo and harness at first.

Read the full guide: Best Pegging Strap On Sex Toys That Actually Work


#3 – Find & Use The Right Lube

It’s that important. Bad lube will mess up the whole experience. A great lube will make everything better.

Astroglide is awful for most people.

Sliquid Sassy is the most loved water-based lube for pegging enthusiasts.

Many people like to use unrefined coconut oil (just warm it up) as it stays on for a long time and doesn’t dry as fast as water-based lube.


#4 – Put Down A Towel To Prevent Anything From Staining The Sheets

While you should take a shower ( with a soapy finger) and clean the ass ahead of time (enemas are an option, too), it’s a good idea to prepare for any potential excrements or liquids.

You could either use a towel or throwaway baby pads (no need to wash).

Also, Liberator makes a great machine-washable blanket that has a thin plastic sheet inside that will help with any mess from spreading.

It’s not cheap, but a great investment that will ensure that you never need to worry about mess ever again.


#5 – Stop Fantasizing and Just Do It

In the end, you just have to do it. Better prepare that the first time will suck and it will be better than expected.

It’s gonna feel weird – for him and her. It’s easier if one of you has done it before.

But thrusting for her won’t feel natural – it’s a new skill!

And exposing his butt to receive a dildo in his ass won’t feel natural to him – it’s a new world.

You can start things slow. Just have a butt plug and ask him to fuck himself in front of you.

See if you can get him to admit that he’s horny (for best results, he should abstain from ejaculation for a week).

The prostate is so much more sensitive and easier to find when it’s full.

Then just get strapped up (or ask him to strap you up for extra arousal).

Fuck him first with a butt plug, and when the time is right, ask him if he’s ready to be fucked with a dildo.

Go to town!

If whatever doesn’t work out, take a timeout, talk about it, and try again.

Maybe right away. Maybe a week later. It’s all about the journey.


Here are some more first-time pegging tips:

  • Start with a soft silicone dildo
    • If you’re going to start with dildos by hand and he isn’t quite used to them yet, stick with a soft silicone rather than a hard plastic. Afterward, let him work out which he likes, it is really just a personal preference. This will prevent the risk of getting pains in spots you never thought you would. If he decides he likes the hard plastic better, then so be it, but most men will like it softer.
  • Start slow and spend time in warmup
    • Have him face you so you can see what he likes and doesn’t like. Start with a small dildo first and increase in size as he becomes more comfortable. Communicate, communicate, communicate! It’s like all sex – good foreplay will make it all the better. On penetration, lots of lube and stroke him as you enter. Allow him to adjust to the sensation before progressing. Start with gloved fingers first.
  • Start with him riding you to give him control over the depth of penetration, angle, and speed.
  • Wait for at least 2 hours after the last bowel movement to do any pegging.
  • Locate the prostate by yourself first to know how deep you like it.
  • Get used to anal penetration
    • Try butt plugs, fingers, and small dildos.
  • Get to know male anatomy and how to find that P-spot
    • Trial and error is the same as with G-spot.
  • Rinse and repeat
    • Practice makes comfort.

Pegging Aftercare

After your pegging session, it’s always important to take some time to check in with your partner and process the experience.

They might have been enjoying the experience, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be hurting afterward.

It’s best to give them a chance to let you know.

Ask questions like: How did it feel for you? What was the best part of it? Was it painful?

These questions will help you understand what your partner experienced, so you can make sure they feel comfortable next time.

Also, it’s important to check your body for possible injuries.

If you notice anything untoward like anal irritation, bleeding, or bruising, it’s best to consult your doctor immediately.


Pegging Precautions

Poop

While it’s possible to have poop while being penetrated anally, it’s definitely very unlikely.

Anatomically speaking, the rectum is protected by “voluntary” muscles that prevent feces from escaping. This means there is no way for stool escape, not unless you intend it to.

As such, one would only have to worry about it happening on the occasion of diarrhea.

To get rid of any fecal matter, do a thorough cleaning of the receiver’s anus before the pegging session.

This means washing the anus and surrounding area with warm water and soap, which will get rid of any poop residue and bacteria that might cause unpleasant odors.


STI

Pegging does not involve the exchange of bodily fluids, so the chances of contracting an STI are relatively lower than, say, unprotected vaginal intercourse or anal sex.

However, as with any other sexual activity, it is still possible to get infected, especially if the toy isn’t completely clean or made of body-safe and non-porous materials.

Also, it’s imperative that you keep your toy and yourself clean before and after pegging since both can harbor bacteria.


Pain in receiving pegging

It is normal for beginners to experience some initial discomfort, sharp pain, or even spasms in or around the anal canal.

During this stage, the nerves are rewired, and the muscles readjusted to accommodate the new sensation of having something inserted into the anus.

That’s why make sure to apply lube and go slow with the initial insertion.

The pain should subside within a few minutes, and the receiver will eventually become accustomed to the sensation.

If you and your partner are new to pegging, it’s best to start with a smaller and softer toy to ease your transition.


Why Pegging Feels Amazing For Men & Women (Pegging Story)

For some reason, people are still not convinced that pegging feels amazing.

But ask yourself – would people do it otherwise? Hell no!

But here are a few reasons why people do it:

  • It’s an opportunity for a man to reach prostate orgasm, more intense penile orgasm, or even the mythical Super-O (similar to a woman’s full body orgasm)
  • Role reversal is hot
  • You’re connecting more with your partner, especially if you’re telling her to fuck you the way she would want to be fucked
  • For women, it’s fun, but then there are also double dildos that can give her pleasure while pegging him at the same time.

Experiences of Men & Women in Pegging

Here’s an honest pegging story from a 26-year-old man. Let’s call him Matt:

I’m a mid 20’s male who’s had his fair share along the road of the anal adventure. It all started in college where I live in my fraternity house for 3 years. I did have my fair share of hookups from those days and most encounters were bland sexual experiences. Drunk, sloppy sex with usually nothing remotely interesting in hindsight.

However, Bridget… girl you open my eyes to what prostate play could entail. I had met her a few times and she wasn’t the hottest girl on the planet, but she was flirtatious in ways most women aren’t. Somehow she always knew how to reel me into wanting to fuck her. I lived in a room (yes, a room) with 3 other guys and we spent a handful of very fun nights. She was kinkier than most girls I’d ever been with. Well one night after a house party we went upstairs and she was giving me head and started licking my taint. Noticing I have feeling very aroused from that, suddenly she grabbed my legs, pushed them in the ear, whispered to me “I want you to relax baby”, and started licking my ass. Holy crap it was so hard to prevent myself from moaning audibly loud with my other roommates in the room.

Since then, I’ve ventured down the anal path steadily. I had developed a strong desire to do pegging (taking a strap on as a man) and later after graduation found a craigslist that was seeking a sub to get pegged from two women. I ended up getting in contact with this guy who ultimately directed his subs to peg me in a BDSM encounter. I had always played a “dominant” role in sex, but as someone who lives life with an open mind and doesn’t I was interested in exploring my submissive side. To make a short story short, it was an interesting experience that even though it was quite painful, the feeling of feeling “full” was pretty exhilarating.

Fast forward to more present day and I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few years now. About a year into dating we started doing pegging. I brought it up to her and she was relatively open to the idea. Well now we probably have done it 30-50 times. We still have great amazing normal sex as anything else would, but pegging has opened up an entirely new avenue of sexual pleasure.

Source: Reddit

And here’s another quick story from a 34-year-old female,  “Kristy,” on her first successful pegging experience (to get you winded up):

“I had never been wetter in my entire life. It felt like when you’re a teenager and making out with your crush and you get super wet and swollen? I hadn’t felt that in a while, especially since we have struggled with a DB off and on since we’ve had our two kids.

I casually mentioned prostate play a few months back. He seemed a little leery of anal play but one night during a blow job he lifted his leg up a little bit and things haven’t been the same since.

I was surprised when he showed me the strap and dildo but SO fucking turned on. I got the strap-on on, we were on our knees on the bed making out while our cocks rubbed against each other. Pretty sure I was already dripping at that point.

I keep getting flashbacks this week of his ass, his moaning, the way he looked with his legs on my shoulders as he stroked himself. I’M HOOKED. I want to see him use a stroker or a Fleshlight on himself next time I fuck him this way.

So, guys.. I’m so excited this is a part of our sexual routine now.

P.S. my quads are sore ever since. I give you guys more credit for thrusting than I ever thought, lol. But, every time I get up and feel that ache I think about it!”

Source: Reddit

Yes, pegging can hurt, and it can feel amazing – it depends on you and your partner.

What I like most about pegging is that you don’t need to be submissive to peg (all that power play).

But the feeling when someone you love gently enters your butt with her dildo is so fucking hot.

It goes from feeling “omg, this is uncomfortable…too big” to “holy shit, I love it.”

Then she can take your penis, lube it up, and stroke it while she’s still fucking you.

You’ll experience the strongest orgasms of your life this way. It’s an explosion, and if you haven’t tried it – you’re missing out.

And if your woman is anything like mine, she will be super pleased with herself about how good she was at fucking me. Who knows soon you’ll be ready for round #2?


Bringing It All Together

I hope this pegging for beginners guide cleared your confusion and fear around pegging.

Little obstacles you see in your way are nothing compared to the pleasures, fun, and joy you’ll gain.

Try it, there’s nothing to lose.

…and then come here to share your story!

Cheers!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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