21 New Things to Try in Bed (Break Out of Your Routine!)

If you want your love burning hot, you MUST find new things to try in bed. From sex toys and bondage to a change of dynamics and MORE, we’ve got it all covered here. Read on:

Just like any normal relationship, love starts off BURNING HOT.

However, it’s only natural that the excitement you feel initially will cool down over time. Eventually, you’ll simply find yourself going through the motions of everyday life together. 

So a piece of advice: bring some new spice into the bedroom. Reignite that fire and passion you have for one another. Keep yourselves evolving as a couple. 

Yes, it was easy to keep things exciting then. But life gets in the way sometimes. 

If you think about it, it probably takes more effort now to keep that romance afloat. 


Experiment a little. Explore newfound territory.

Here are 21 new things you could try with your partner in Bed: 

1. Dive Into Some Bondage

A study by Dr. Magliano (2015) concludes that about 2% to 62% of people in a relationship enjoy BDSM. 

Now, that may seem like a big gap. But in surveys, it’s all about the wording of questions. 

To be blunt, BDSM is broad. Lightly holding her down can be considered BDSM. Using ball gags, ropes, and handcuffs can be regarded as BDSM. It’s all about perspective. 

But before getting into it, let’s start with the basics:


Now, what makes this enjoyable for couples?

Well, for the most part, it’s all about the thrill. There’s just something about feeling helpless that makes it sexy. 

Usually, there are two roles:

  • the dominant one
  • the submissive partner

Couples can decide on what roles to take. But that’s the dynamic most of the time.

Though one piece of advice: don’t go diving head first. You might enter a state of shock. Worse, someone might get hurt in the process. 

Try something light first. Instead of handcuffs or ropes, try silk scarves. How about a blindfold?

Don’t surprise your partner with slipknots. The last thing you want to do is cut off some circulation in their body. Use bowlines or square knots instead. 

You can also do light teasing with several tools. A few examples include:

  • Food
  • Feathers
  • Your tongue
  • Your fingers

Now, let’s talk about using the ‘safeword.’

The safeword in BDSM is usually something not related to sex. It’s something unique to couples. Though, there are common ones like:

  • “peach”
  • “vanilla”
  • “red”
  • “unicorn”

So how do couples use the safeword? Simple. 

If the submissive partner says the word, the session stops. The dominant one stops what they’re doing. And all restraints are removed.

The safeword is what you can call a safety net. It lets a person say, “stop!” easily and quickly. 

Keep in mind that BDSM is just a fantasy. It’s all an illusion made between individuals who trust each other. 

Asserting unwanted dominance can lead to assault. Assault leads to trauma. And inflicting trauma leads to an end of a relationship. You don’t want that, right?

So when you do a little bondage next time, talk it out first.

2. Explore New Sex Positions

There are several different sexual positions available in the Kama Sutra. However, not every couple has the patience to do every single one. 

Men and women have different tastes. And it is no different when it comes to their preferences in bed. 

Realistically, you might just cycle through one or two sex positions. And your partner will most likely do the same. So it is all normal for you. But that can make a couple’s sex routine boring. You’re just playing it safe at this point. 

Why not live a little?

Try something new. Try out a different sex position. It’s not that hard. 

All sex positions have a starting point. So don’t worry too much about not knowing where to jump off. 

If you don’t know what they are, here’s a reminder: 

  • Standing

  • Face to Face

  • Doggie Style or Rear Entry

  • Lying Stacked

  • Lying Side by Side

  • The Man on Top

  • The Woman on Top

And that’s it. Any other starting point could be a variation of one of these. 

Just start from any of the choices. And you’re good to go. You can go as crazy and wild as you want afterward. 

To give you some ideas, here are a few suggestions:

Modified Reverse Cowgirl

  • Have your shoulders raised on an ottoman.
  • Next, raise your hips to a bridge pose. 
  • Then have the woman mount you with her facing the same direction as your legs.

Modified Reverse Missionary

  • Lie on your back.
  • Then raise your legs back as if being penetrated. 
  • Then have the woman thrust her vagina into your erect penis facing you. Help her by using your two hands as support to hold up your legs. 

Modified Doggie

  • Have her bend over on the edge of the bed.
  • Stand behind her. Then start penetrating her from the rear. 

If you’re not into it, then don’t do it. Simple as that. No one is forcing you. You could always stick to what you know. And that’s fine and understandable. 

But trying out new stuff could help you discover new sensations in your body. It could help you discover new pleasure points.

As long as no one gets hurt, you’re all good. So why not give it a try?

Even if experimenting turns out to be a comical disaster, it’s not a total trainwreck. Keep that in mind. It could be something you and your partner could share a good laugh with and bond over. 

In the end, just have fun. Sex is not all serious. Have a few good laughs in between. 

It’s all good for the soul.

3. Your Choice: Lights On Or Lights Off?

Studies say that most single men and women prefer having sex with their lights on. On the other hand, those in a relationship are most likely to prefer darker and dimmer setups. 

WHY IS THIS? Well, here’s a brief explanation. 

Yes, preferences vary from person to person. But turning the lights on during sex can allow you to see your partner in all their glory

It doesn’t allow the brain to go WILD with its imagination. Instead, it allows individuals to ADMIRE what’s in front of them

Additionally, a separate study concludes that men exposed to bright lights have a higher sex drive. There is no definite cause as to why this is. But one theory states that visual presence increases the triggers of libido in men. 

There is also an increase in testosterone production in the body. Thus, making it a likely outcome for men to prefer to keep the lights on behind closed doors. 

However, don’t you want to make your sex life more exciting? Then try doing the opposite of what you usually do.

Are you used to having sex with your partner in the dark? Then switch it up. Keep the lights on. Give it a go.

Men are visual creatures. So you may want to excite yourself a little. Look at what she’s doing to you. Look at all the naughty things she can do.

Are you used to having sex with the lights on? Then try doing it in pitch darkness. Sometimes, all you need is the sensation of touching one another. 

Women are more imaginative when it comes to any activities in bed. So stimulating her brain in the dark helps her live out her fantasies. It helps her tap into her deepest and darkest desires. 

And it helps her be more responsive to your touches. 

There’s just something about the unknown that makes it sexy. Mysterious. Alluring

4. Have Rough Sex

Being rough in bed can get intimidating. Yes, you love your partner. But you also don’t want to see them get hurt. 

So, what should you do?

First of all, don’t worry too much about it. Women like to have rough sex sometimes. Secondly, you don’t have to be intense throughout. Give a few acts of roughness here and there. 

Keep things interesting by switching from gentle to hard. 

Sprinkle in a few of these actions: 

  • Spanking
  • Pulling their hair
  • Biting
  • Scratching
  • Holding them down
  • Light choking
  • Slapping their face
  • Taking charge of their body

All of these may seem like acts of force.

But with consent, it could mean the difference between having fun and experiencing sexual assault. 

If you do intend to have a rough play, then make sure you trust your partner. Know their limits. Know how rough they can get.

You also don’t have to be physical with it. Sometimes having verbal play can also work out for both of your interests. 

Call them a ‘slut.’ Verbally abuse them. Let them hear what they want to hear. 

Starting it with words is one way to ease them into rough sex. 

If they don’t like it, then stop. Move on. There are other ways to have them enjoy the experience.

5. Share Your Wildest Fantasies

If you want to try something new in bed, just go straight to the source. Talk to your partner. It’s as simple as that.

Sharing each other’s sexual fantasies should not be shamed in the first place.

Yes, some fantasies can be a bit excessive. And some can just be outright offensive. But having a conversation about these things is a good step in the relationship. 

Make your relationship a safe space. Talk to one another about your deepest desires.

Are you into this? Is she into that?

Yes, this is risky advice. But it’s better to know about these things about your partner. Even if you’re not into it, learn to be more open-minded. Keep yourself open to the possibilities. 

It’s better to know of her fantasies now than later

Who knows, trying out new stuff may turn you on. You may even orgasm like never before.

6. Keeping It Hot With Dirty Talk

Some couples are unsure about incorporating dirty talk into their sex life. 

But if you do, it sure gets the job done. It keeps the bedroom hot and heavy. And it also adds an element of roleplay. 

Don’t be afraid to sound ridiculous. Be in the moment. Immerse yourself in the experience. 

She may get a few giggles here and there. So say it with as much gusto and enthusiasm as you can. 

Something to note

The key to a good “dirty talking” experience is commitment.

Commit to the role. Put some emotion into it. Don’t be afraid to share the dirty things you want to do with them. Let them know. Let them hear it with confidence.

Sometimes, it’s nice to get a little aggressive in bed. You don’t have to make it sweet all the time.

Try making it rough for them. Surprise them. Maybe make them beg a little.

7. Masturbate In Front of Each Other

Paying attention to your partner could help you learn a thing or two. And when it comes to masturbation, well, you know the drill.

Several people feel secretive when it comes to their masturbation habits. And who can blame them? It’s something we all learn as we grow up. 

But, adults have come a long way since then. 

Research shows that masturbation is more gratifying than actual sex. Yes, sex with your partner is still more gratifying emotionally. But, nothing still beats the pleasure you inflict on yourself. 

Why is this? Well, there could be several reasons. 

Maybe it has to do with our focus. We’re only paying attention to what we feel. What makes us feel good. What makes us feel stimulated. 

Maybe it’s just our body. Maybe we have specific triggers. Or maybe it’s just the mind.

Who knows? As long as you feel good, it’s enough, right? 

So why not try masturbating in front of each other. If you’ve run out of ideas, then there’s always that option. Please yourselves in front of each other’s gazes. 

You’ll see how your partner touches their body. The way they caress their sensitive spots. The way they put force in their erogenous zones. The way they make themselves lose in ecstasy. 

If you get the chance, copy what they do the next time you sleep with each other. Let them feel what makes them feel good. Let them experience their definition of PLEASURE.

8. Swallow, Don’t Spit!

Informal surveys say that most people swallow when giving blowjobs. 

If you and your partner haven’t done it, then why not give it a try? 

Swallowing may seem taboo to a lot of people. And some even see it as disgusting. But to some, they believe it to be intimate. 

So, in other words, a perfect way to spice up your sex life. 

If you’re health-conscious about it, here’s a quick breakdown of what semen is composed of: 

  • water (non-fattening) – 97%
  • sperm – 2%

That’s it. Not that complicated. 

Don’t worry too much about the metallic taste. It comes from a valuable mineral: zinc. If she doesn’t like it, there are ways to improve the ‘flavor.’ And that responsibility is on you.

Pro Tip

Consuming fruit or fruit juices are said to improve the taste of semen. Avoid smoking or drinking alcohol. That can make your juices taste bad. 

There are also certain foods you should avoid. These include: 

  • Dairy
  • Meat
  • Deep-Fried Foods
  • Caffeinated Drinks
  • Brussel Sprouts
  • Broccoli

9. Have Fun With Anal

Speaking of taboos, we also have anal. 

Some consider it a last resort. Some believe it is exclusive to gay men. Some say women don’t like it. And straight men certainly avoid it. 

But, in reality, the story is all too different.

Studies by the National Institute of Health report that 37% of women and 43% of men have experienced anal sex at least once in their lifetime. From that pool, 20% had anal sex in the year 2016. 

So from a broad perspective, the numbers are not that low. 

But why do some couples avoid anal like it’s the plague? Well, there are two common mistakes first-timers don’t want to experience again:

Having anal sex off the bat

Anal play needs some warming up.

Your anus can’t just open itself up as you want. It’s a muscle. You need to learn how to relax and loosen the area. 

You could start small. Maybe use a lubed finger first. Then, slowly escalate it. Move to small butt plugs. Then, larger ones. Then finally, why not have your girl try the real thing?

Not enough lube

The anus is tight. It does not lubricate itself like the vagina. 

That’s why using a lubricant is a staple in anal. First, however, you must know how to pick the right one.

Something to note

A good recommendation is to go for lubricants that are either oil-based or silicone-based. 

To sum it up, anal sex is not for everyone. But, a noticeable amount of people like doing it. So, it has to be worth a try. 

Maybe do it once with your partner. Give it a whirl. See if any of you like it.

10. Change Dynamics

Power roles in relationships tend to stay constant. But it’s good to change thing’s up a bit once in a while. 

Are you used to being the dominant one in bed? Then try being submissive for one night. Have a change of pace in the bedroom. 

If you’re not into or she’s not it, then have things go back to the way they were. Easy. 

Yes, exchanging roles gives you a new view of things. But being uncomfortable with your partner is just not worth it. 

So, learn to set up boundaries beforehand.

11. Give One Another Massages

Sometimes, having sex is just not on the menu. So, why not enjoy a massage as an alternate option?

Take out those freshly-scented oils. Turn up some soothing sounds. And bring out those silky sheets from the cabinet. 

Massaging one another is a great way to relax. It’s sensual. You’ll both feel good. And it doesn’t require you too much effort. 

You and your partner get to loosen up. And if everything goes too well, you might even have sex. 

So, it’s a win-win if you think about it.

12. Try Roleplaying

Got used to looking silly by now? Well, here’s another one for you.

Try sexual roleplaying with your partner. Let the fantasy run wild. Explore those kinks. Embracing each other’s fetishes is one way to add flavor to the bedroom. 

Have you ever wanted to be a doctor? Then here’s your chance. Kill two birds with one stone. 

Do a little acting. And at the same, gratify your sexual urges. 

There are many ideas you could try out with your lover. A few suggestions include roleplaying as:

  • Boss and employee
  • Teacher and student
  • Royalty and peasant
  • Coach and cheerleader
  • Tarzan and Jane
  • Rock star and groupie
  • Hollywood actor and publicist
  • Solicitor and prostitute
  • Physical therapist and athlete
  • Guard and prisoner
  • Doctor and patient
  • Old and young
  • Knight and damsel-in-distress
  • Spiderman and Mary Jane 

13. Get That Lube Out

Lubricants aren’t limited to anal play. There are other uses for them as well. 

They can make handjobs easy. They can make sex toys slide easier. And they can even make vaginal sex more stimulating than it already is.

Lubes should always be essential to couples.

It doesn’t matter if they’re into roleplaying. Or if they are using toys. 

Dry sex can do damage to the body. It can cause tearing. And it can even cause chafing. 

With lube, you can do it all. It makes sure you get to experience sex as pleasurable as it can get. All you need now is to know what type of lube to pick.

To help you, here’s a breakdown of your choices:

Water-based lubricants

  • can be safely used on toys and condoms

Oil-based lubricants

  • last longer
  • have a silky texture
  • great lube for masturbation
  • can be safely used on toys, but not condoms

Silicone-based lubricants

  • last longer
  • have a silky texture
  • great for anal and water sex
  • can be safely used on condoms, but not toys that are also silicone-based

Organic lubricants

  • pH balanced
  • have a smooth texture
  • can be safely used on toys and condoms
  • use all-natural ingredients

14. Have A Change Of Scenery

If you want to get out there, then GET OUT THERE. 

Have sex other than in the comfort of your bedroom. 

If you and your partner are confident, try taking your sex escapades to other places. A change of scenery is always a good thing. It can even be more exciting.

So take your sessions elsewhere. A few places you could try include:

  • On the dining room table
  • On the home office desk
  • On the kitchen table
  • In a walk-in closet
  • On the kitchen counter
  • In the shower
  • On the sofa
  • In the back seat of your car
  • On the floor
  • On the balcony
  • Against the living room wall
  • In the jacuzzi or swimming pool
  • On the hood of the car
  • On the toilet

There’s just something exciting about doing it in other places. It’s like reliving your younger life all over again. 

Are my parents still asleep? Is my brother or sister there? How about we do it here instead?

That feeling of impulsiveness gives out a rush in your body. You’ll feel more wide-eyed than ever. 

And more importantly, you’ll feel satisfied.

15. Introduce Something Tasty

Why not incorporate food play into your bedroom routine? Try chocolate sauce. 

How about marshmallows? Strawberries? How about drinking and eating food off of each other? 

Some good champagne can liven things up a little. Or if you want something fancy, why not try sushi? Go as crazy as you want.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to food. 

Some edible lubricants or underwear could also be a good choice. Again, it’s all up to you and your partner. So talk to them about it.

16. Keep It Spontaneous

Having a routine in your everyday life is a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, it keeps you organized and on schedule with your day-to-day tasks. But on the other, it could get boring in the relationship.

So what should you do? Well, you could always try to keep it spontaneous from time to time. 

Is she cooking dinner? Then sneak up behind her and have her bend over. 

Are you on a road trip together? Then take a turn at the nearest motel and get busy. 

Do whatever you want. It’s your relationship at the end of the day. As long as you two agree on it, then you’re good.

17. Do Bar Pickups

Relive your single life again. But, this time, you don’t have to worry about rejections.

Dress up for a night out with your partner. The only catch is you have to go out as separate individuals.

Flex your acting chops and do a little pretend play to keep things spicy. 

Go to a bar and pretend like you two are meeting for the first time. Bring out all the cheesy pickup lines you could muster. 

It doesn’t matter if they’re good or not. You know very well that you two would end up in the same place one way or another. 

So embarrass yourself a little. A little tease here and there might bring your chemistry with your partner to a new high.

18. You Can’t Go Wrong With Sex Toys

Many long-lasting relationships incorporate toys in their sex life.

Yes, you may satisfy your woman in bed. But that doesn’t mean they’ve given up on their favorite go-to vibrators. 

So try taking a trip to a local adult sex shop. See other possibilities you two could try to explore. You have a ton of options to choose from on your plate.

Want new vibrators? Check.

How about cock rings? Check.

Give anal beads a go? Why not

We’ve got a smorgasbord of sex toy recos on our website!

Experiment as much as you can. Don’t limit yourselves.

Remember, it’s all about finding new stuff that works in the relationship.

So if penis sleeves or butt plugs work out for the two of you, better keep it coming. Get out of your comfort zone once in a while.

Explore a whole mountain of chances.

19. Invite Other People

When it comes to adding more people to the bedroom, it tends to be a touchy area. 

So, try to open up a conversation with your partner. Don’t be shy about it.

Are they open for a threesome? How about an orgy?

Check how they react to the question. If there’s hesitance, then suggest other options. You don’t have to force them if they don’t like it.

Again, this is a sensitive subject. Not everyone can separate the physical from the emotional. So best widen out your choices in the end.

20. Have Public Sex

Now, this may take a bit of convincing. 

Public sex isn’t for everyone. Likewise, not everyone is comfortable with having potential spectators peep at their most intimate moments. 

So talk with your partner first and foremost. 

Are they comfortable with it? Are they willing to do it in this particular place? Are they ready to run in case things go south?

All of these should be talked about beforehand. There are a lot of potential cruising spots to do it with your partner.

Some examples include:

  • Public beaches
  • Parks
  • Alleyways
  • Parking spaces
  • Bathroom stalls
  • Airplanes
  • Boats

The places are all yours to pick. It’s your choice. What’s the most comfortable spot for you?

21. Go Old School With Sex Tapes

The thrill of performing it in front of an audience can get exciting. 

So why not make a sex tape with your partner. It was all the rave back then. And now, more couples are into it. 

Make the bedroom an exciting place. Then, liven it up with a few cameras. 

Homemade porn is one of the top searches on any porn website now. So if that gets you excited, making it yourself would be a blast. 

So get those cameras ready. And embrace your inner porn star roots.

Final Thoughts

Putting some effort into your sex life is worth your time. Trying out new things with your partner is normal. It comes with being in a relationship. 

You don’t want to see that ‘spark’ go away, right?

Then make the bedroom an exciting place by experimenting with them. Tease them. Embrace their fantasies. Don’t just sit there and wait for them to speak up. GET A LITTLE SPICY!

Blow their minds out with mind-breaking orgasms right now!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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