How to Use a Vibrating Dildo Solo and With a Partner [2022]

Get the best of both worlds from a sex toy that vibrates and penetrates you at the same time. But first, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of how to use a vibrating dildo solo or with a partner. Ready?

So you just got your vibrating dildo, but you’re at a loss on how to use it.

First of all, congratulations on adding a new toy to your collection, sexplorer!

When using a vibrating dildo for the first time, you need to know its ins and outs. And figuring out what you like takes time and a willingness to experiment.

Vibrating dildos are great investments. Penetration and vibration in one? It’s a win-win! Now let’s put that toy to good use.


What Is a Vibrating Dildo, Exactly?

First things first. Let’s get to know what, exactly, is a vibrating dildo.

As the name suggests, it’s a dildo… that vibrates. Or a vibrator shaped like a dildo.

Dildos are phallic-shaped toys intended for insertion, so it suits anyone who enjoys penetration or wants to simulate penetrative sex. They are usually designed and shaped like a real-life penis with a bulbous or tapered tip, veiny shaft, and some even have balls.

Dildos are fun to use on their own. But when you add vibration in the mix, you get the best of both worlds. Vibrating dildos often come with multi-speed functions, so you can vary the intensity and sensation that suit you best. 

There are two types of dildo vibrators to choose from:

  1. Dildos with a built-in motor in the shaft.
  2. Dildos with an opening in the base where a bullet vibrator can be inserted.

10 Tips on Using a Vibrating Dildo (for Solo Play)

Now off to the fun part: actually using your vibrating dildo!

1. Make Sure It’s Juiced Up

It’s slowly building. You can feel the tingles and sensations. Your eyes roll, your back arcs, your toes curl. You’re on the verge of the big O. But then, your toy dies down.

Nothing is a worse mood killer than a dead battery.

Avoid such horror by making sure your vibrating dildos are all juiced up. If it’s battery-operated, use fresh batteries. And make sure it’s the right kind! Batteries from a TV remote control usually won’t be sufficient to power up your vibe.

If it’s rechargeable, ensure it’s fully charged before you embark on your self-pleasure journey.


2. Get to Know Your Vibrating Dildo Intimately

Like many things, preparation is key.

It’s important to get to know your toy inside-out before putting it to good use. Even if it’s not your first toy, it’s still helpful to get to know it the first time you use it.

A vibrating dildo is just one of the different types of vibrators. Toys have different settings they are designed for.

We know it’s boring, but take the time to read the user’s manual and learn the vibrating dildo’s vibration settings, pulsation patterns, and whatnot.

Even though your first few times are meant to explore the toy, it’s still a mood killer to fumble around the buttons not knowing what they’re exactly for.

You may try the different settings on your hand or arm first. This will give you a feel of how intense the vibrations or pulsations are, so you won’t get surprised when it’s already inside you. 


3. Clean It First, Please

“I just bought it! It’s never been used, so why should I clean it?”

Sex toys are not sterile. Dust, lint, dirt, and bacteria could accumulate on its surface even when it’s brand new.

Follow the cleaning guidelines for the toy. 

But generally, you can clean porous and nonporous toys with any gentle soap and water. You may also use your toy cleaner (you can get one here).

Lovehoney Fresh Toy Cleaner

Of course, if your vibrating dildo has a built-in motor, be careful in washing it. Remove batteries, if any.

Since you will be inserting the toy into your body, opting for toys made from nonporous materials like silicone, glass, and steel is better.

Meanwhile, if it’s made from porous materials like rubber, jelly, latex, and realistic-skin material, you should know they can still harbor bacteria even after cleaning because it has pores. So to be extra safe, you may use a condom on them.


4. Set the Mood

Finally — it’s time to start heating things up.

Foreplay is important and shouldn’t be neglected, even when you’re alone.

Start by setting the right atmosphere – which goes a long way. Light candles, wear sexy lingerie, take out your satin sheets.

Next, get yourself in the mood. Maybe read erotica, watch porn, or play some good sex playlist and let your fantasies run wild. 

Just loosen up and get some natural lubrication going. After all, it can be hard to get off when you’re tense.


5. Lube Up

With any insertable toy or sextivity that involves penetration, lube is your best friend. This is also where getting to know your toy comes important: not all types of lube work for all types of toys.

In most cases, water-based lubricants like Lovehoney Enjoy work best. Just make sure it’s designed for toys. Usually, silicone-based lubricants are not safe for silicone-based toys, so double-check with your own dildo vibrator.

Lovehoney Enjoy

Lube makes the toy glide easily against your skin without tugging and stretching (which can be uncomfortable and even painful).


6. Take It Slow

Turn on your vibrating dildo to its lowest possible setting. You can always increase the intensity as you go, so it’s better to take your time and start slow.

Using a basic pattern like a constant, rumbling vibration is a good setting to start with.

What’s great about a vibrating dildo is it’s similar to how you use your vibrator. And it’s not just for your genitals. Run it on different parts of your body – stimulate your nipples or press it around your breast. 

Then, press your dildo vibrator on your clitoris – gently.

The clitoris, or “the pleasure center of the vulva,” is not just the pea-sized nub at the top of your labia. In fact, it’s actually shaped more like a wishbone (or an upside-down flower). Meaning, clitoral stimulation isn’t just external but internal as well.

So don’t just place it directly on your clit (or you will just be stimulating the tip of the iceberg). Experiment by pressing it on areas around the clitoris as well and letting the vibrations rumble inside you.


7. Thrust the Vibrating Dildo In

When you’re ready (translation: wet enough), gently thrust the vibrating dildo inside you. 

Insert it tenderly, starting with just the tip. And then, move it in and out of your vaginal opening. 

If you enjoy the sensation, you can start playing around with the settings to increase the intensity, vibration, and speed.

Pro Tip

Rub your clit as you insert the dildo vibrator in and out of you. The dual stimulation will feel great – trust us!

Flatten two or three fingers on your clit and rub it in a circular motion. You may also make a gentle tapping motion on your clit, softly pinching your clitoral hood with your two fingers or tracing slow circles around your clitoral hood and labia.


8. Explore and Experiment

There’s so much you can do with your vibrating dildo. If you don’t know where to start, explore and experiment with different thrusting techniques.

First, deep thrusts. Push the vibrating dildo all the way in and all the way out of your vaginal opening. You can do this slowly and then work your way to a faster speed. It feels fantastic as you stimulate your G spot and A spot with it (here’s how to find it).

You may also do shallow thrusts or combine deep and shallow thrusts. Shallow and fast thrusts feel good on your clitoris, especially in the right position.

You can also use the “milking” motion with your dildo vibrator. Press your vibrating dildo on the upper wall of your vagina (like a come hither motion) and thrust it deep enough to reach your G spot.

Repeating this motion in short, sharp bursts could lead to squirting.

Another great internal stimulation you can do with your vibrating dildo is by rotating it. Push it inside you normally, and then start twisting it as you go deeper. 

Of course, vibrating dildos are not just for vaginas. They can be used for the anus as well. Just make sure it’s designed for anal play.

The anus doesn’t have an “end.” Thus, it should have a flared base so it doesn’t go deep to the point of no return.


9. Play Around with Positions

Using a vibrating dildo for your solo play lets you explore different positions. Find what’s comfortable or sexy for you to lead you to a great big O.

The comfiest position is by lying on your back. It’s the most basic, but it’s also the best position to use a vibrator dildo when you’re still experimenting. 

Lie down, bend your legs, lean forward, and thrust the vibrating dildo inside you. If you like a filling sensation, lie down on your side (like spooning) as it makes your vagina feel tighter.

If you’re ready to be more adventurous, go down on all fours. This position makes it easy for you to reach your clitoris, but only when you can mount the vibrating dildo on a wall. Choosing one with a suction-cup base makes this possible. 

A sitting position with your legs slightly bent is also great because it lets you easily reach your G spot. If you’re visual, you may even prop a mirror in front of you and look at yourself as you masturbate.


10. Clean and Store Properly

Cleaning your toy after every use is a MUST. Cleaning it before using it (the next time you use it) is a suggestion – as long as you store it properly.

Genital tissues are sensitive. And the vulva and vagina are highly absorbent, making them prone to urinary tract infections, yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis flare-ups.

Wipe down your dildo vibrator and dry it off completely before storing it to prevent damage issues. 

Finally, safely store it in your sex toy storage containers. You can also get creative and use household items like a sock, nonplastic container, makeup case, or lint-free fabric bag.


Advice on Using a Vibrating Dildo with a Partner

Using a vibrating dildo is already hot on your own. Imagine how hotter and sexier it would be to use it with your partner. But first, there are additional steps to take:

Let Your Partner Know

When you’re introducing a third “friend” in your sextivity, your partner should be aware of it beforehand to avoid any awkward tensions and hurt feelings.

As much as possible, have the talk while you are both still clothed.

Sometimes, people might be uncomfortable adding a sex toy to their sex life with their partners as it makes them feel “lacking.” Reassure your partner that it’s something you think is fun to explore together and add spice in your sexy sessions.


Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Remember: a vibrating dildo (or any sex toy) doesn’t have nerve endings. You or your partner might not notice it when you insert the vibrating dildo in too deep. 

Always communicate with your partner, like letting them know if it feels good, you prefer slower or faster thrusts, and so on.


Use Condoms

If you’re not in a fluid-bonded relationship, consider using condoms

Condoms

Sex toys are vectors for STIs (sexually transmitted infections). When sharing sex toys, cleaning them before using them on each other may not be enough to prevent the transmission of possible infections.


Conclusion

So, what did we learn today about using vibrating dildos?

First, preparation. Make sure the toy is fully-charged and well-cleaned (even if it’s brand new!). Don’t forget to read its manual to familiarize its settings and how it works.

Set the right mood and don’t neglect foreplay – even on a solo play. When you’re ready to thrust the vibrating dildo inside you, take it slow. Embrace the sensations that feel good to you. Then, experiment with various settings, vibration patterns, intensities, thrusting techniques, and positions.

When using a dildo vibrator with a partner, the unofficial mantra is: communicate, communicate, communicate. 

Aliyah Moore

Aliyah Moore

Aliyah Moore (she/her) is our resident sex expert at SexualAlpha. She’s a certified sex therapist with a Ph.D. in Gender & Sexuality Studies. Aliyah is a proud Black, bi-sexual femme passionate about empowering minority voices to embrace their sexuality and identity. She loves to write about everything sexual wellness and gives no-nonsense sex and relationship advice.

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.