How To Spice Up Your Sex Life: 12 Sizzling Tips That WORK

Sex doesn’t have to be boring or become a routine. If you feel you’ve lost your touch in bed, let our guide show you how to spice up your sex life in no time.

Nowadays, does your sex life feel different at all? Or have some things changed in your relationship? Well, this guide’s just for you.

It’s normal to have that excitement you have in the bedroom slowly fade out through time. 

For humans, it’s all about new experiences. Doing the same thing over and over can take a toll. It can get boring. 

Luckily for you, it’s not the end. You can free yourself from the cycle. Just put in a little effort. And you’re sure to reap the benefits sooner or later. 

How To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Here are 12 SIZZLING tips you could try to amp up your sex life: 

1. Create the Right Ambiance

Having a great sex life means creating a great atmosphere. The more comfortable you two feel, the more satisfying the sex is. 

According to research, people who set up the mood in the bedroom tend to have greater sexual gratification. So, why not incorporate a new vibe with your partner. 

Change up the mood behind closed quarters. 

Create your new ambiance.

Use Dimmer Lights

Sex in the dark can be off-putting. You can’t see your partner. And you can’t see all the sexy visuals of their body. But sex in total brightness can also make you feel self-conscious.

So what should you do?

A good piece of advice is to make the room dimly lit. Then, strike a balance between the two. Use some candles if you want. 

Make the room manageable. Yet, make it mysterious at the same time. 

Additionally, if you want to add some flair, try using scented candles instead. You want to heighten up both your senses as much as you can.

So, make little changes here and there. See if anything changes. 

Clean Up Beforehand

Having dirty sheets and a messy bedroom is a definite turn-off. 

Being comfortable with one another can make you and your partner lazy. It may even have you put less effort into your sex life. As a result, you may not even have the urge to create an inviting sexual atmosphere.

So, make some effort to put in the work. Do it like when you were in your bachelor days. Make things exciting again.

Yes, you’re in a relationship right now. But it doesn’t mean you have to stop being romantic.

Indulge your partner. Make them feel those butterflies again. Make them feel happy. 

Use Your Senses

Having sex involves the use of many senses in the body. So it’s not limited to physical sensations. 

It’s also about the smell, the sound, the taste, and the view

You can do a lot of ways to stimulate these senses. For example: 

  • the sense of sight – roleplaying with your partner
  • the sense of smell and touch – using scented oils for massages
  • sense of taste – using flavored lubes or edible underwear
  • sense of hearing – putting sexy music in the background

Now you don’t have to apply all of these examples at once. Instead, you could do it one at a time. Take steps little by little.

The last thing you want to do is overload your partner with an all-out sensory experience. So, make sure you ease them into it.

2. Try New Sex Positions

Want to hit other sensitive areas in your body? Then try changing it up by using different positions in bed. 

Want to adjust how deep you can go? No problem. 

Want to adjust how fast you can get? Then no problem. 

Switching up sex positions isn’t all for the sake of intercourse. You can widen out other horizons as well. 

Do you want to make oral more exciting? Then get to some experimenting with your partner ASAP. 

Thankfully, we’ve got you covered on some of the basics: 

  • The Standing Position

Having sex while standing up opens a lot of possibilities. 

Yes, it does seem challenging at first. Of course, you and your partner must know how to maintain balance. And any one of you needs to know how to compensate for the height difference. But you can get creative and resourceful with your surroundings. 

Take advantage of what you can see around you. Some examples include: 

  • Bending over or sitting on a countertop
  • Sitting or laying on the hood of a car
  • Leaning against the living room wall
  • Having your partner kneel on a counter or kitchen surface

What’s great about standing up is that you have your hands free. You or your partner could use them however you like. 

Want to try new angles? Then go on ahead. Find the right spot.

You get to feel a whole new palette of sensations with this sex position. Some, you may not even get from lying in bed. 

  • The Doggy Style

The doggy style is one of the most common sex positions out there.

A lot of couples enjoy it due to how deep penetration can occur. But seeing a sexy view of your partner’s back is a nice plus. 

Being the one on top also makes it easier to stimulate yourself. You have much more control. And finishing just seems easier to do throughout. So, it’s all a win in your book. 

  • The Missionary

Another common position is the missionary. 

If you want to experience intimate moments that are much deeper than usual, then this one’s for you. You can:

  • Kiss each other
  • Have skin-on-skin contact
  • Stimulate your partner’s clit
  • Look into each other’s eyes

So try giving missionary a go. There’s no harm in testing it out. Who knows, you might like it more than you care to admit. 

  • The Cowgirl or Cowboy

Here’s a short rundown of how to execute this position. You simply lay on your back. And have your partner kneel on top of you as if to ride a mount. 

Easy as pie, as they say. 

Many couples find this position to be incredibly sensual. Like the missionary, you can still kiss and look at each other’s gazes. But, you can touch your partner in many different ways. 

This position puts the one on top in control. They can go as deep as they want. 

And they have the authority to dictate how hard of a thrust they can muster. 

If you like, you could even perform oral with your partner. Face-sitting is quite common than you think it is. So don’t shy away from it. 

Embrace every asset your partner has to offer. 

  • The Classic 69

Want to enjoy oral sex together? Then 69 is the right match for you. 

Yes, this may not be for everyone. But it’s sure to give you a good time with your woman.

Are you easily distracted? Are you not flexible enough? 

Well, don’t worry too much about those things. 

The secret to a good 69 experience is multitasking. It’s all about finding the right balance.

Know how to let your woman feel good. Learn how to let yourself feel good.

All it takes is practice. And you have all the time in the world to work on those mouth skills. So don’t pressure yourself too much.

3. Incorporate Sex Toys And A Healthy Lifestyle

Firstly, using sex toys doesn’t mean you’re less of a man. It’s more of a novelty couples get to enjoy. 

According to studies, there’s much more sexual gratification in couples who use sex toys than in those that don’t. 

Could it be from trying something new? Or could it be from something else? Who knows. 

Sex toys are sure to liven up your bedroom in no time. So if you want to test new ways to stimulate each other, here’s your answer. 

A sex toy can do so much in adding a little spark to the relationship. 

How about orgasms? Well, that shouldn’t be a problem either. Again, there are a variety of options you could use. 

But to make things quick, here are a few essentials to keep in mind. 


There are two classifications of sleeves:

  • Penis extenders
  • Masturbation sleeves

Penis extenders are straightforward. It’s all in the name. But, there are a few variations you should take note of:

  • Vibrating sleeves – these are great for men experiencing erectile dysfunction. It not only pleasures the user. But it also maximizes the stimulations women feel during sex. 
  • Textured sleeves – on the other hand, have several combinations. You can have inside texture. You can go for an outside texture. Or you could have both.

It all depends on you at the end of the day. 

  • Ball straps – some penis extenders have ball straps. Though, it’s actually for reasons that are different from what you’re thinking. 

Ball straps act as more of a support. They are there to keep the device safe. And not have it slip off out of nowhere.

Masturbation sleeves, on the other hand, are just as advertised. They’re soft silicone sleeves that go over the penis. Men use it for masturbation. And in some cases, women use it to stimulate blowjobs. 

Delaying Spray

What can delaying sprays do? Simple. They make the penis less sensitive. So it makes you last longer in bed.

Doesn’t every man want that?

Increased stamina is a bonus when it comes to sex. 

If you’re worried about possible allergies, then don’t be. Most sprays are composed of benzocaine and lidocaine. So, they tend to be well-tolerated in that regard.


Lube is your go-to friend in the bedroom.

Not lubricating enough can make the experience uncomfortable. It can even make it painful. So invest in some good lubricant right now. 

Women can experience vaginal dryness for a variety of reasons. So, having a good lube by your side can be the solution you need in such situations. 

You don’t want your partner to feel pain, right?

So get your trusty companion in tow. You could choose a lot of variety from these lubricants.

Want flavored ones? No problem. How about those that give you that tingling sensation? Check. It’s all checked. 

There are other choices as well. You could go for:

  • Water-based lubricants
  • Oil-based lubricants
  • Silicone-based lubricants
  • Edibles
  • Organic lubricants
  • And even CBD

Just explore your options. Experiment a little. And most importantly, have fun. 

Self-Care is Better Care in Sexual Health

Not taking care of yourself outside of the bedroom can make just as much of an impact. Most of the time, your overall health can make a difference in your performance. It doesn’t have to be all about sex toys. 

Your general lifestyle can create waves in all aspects of your life. Whether from diet or exercise. Or from habits such as smoking and alcohol consumption. It can all make an impact on your health one way or another. 

Erectile dysfunction can happen to anyone out there. 

However, changing lifestyle choices may help you prevent yourself from encountering such hardship. It can even give you stronger erections.

So make small steps right now! Change for the better.

Losing weight is said to reverse erectile dysfunction. So that should give you some motivation to keep in mind. 

Additionally, you might want to take a look at some supplements as well. Improve your cardiovascular functions. You want to be active, right?

So make sure you get all the support you need. Don’t let your body tire out on you first. Have yourself take action beforehand.

4. Be More Daring With Your Sexcapades

A lot of people like to be sexually adventurous. 

Yes, having public sex is a common fantasy. But, keep in mind, it’s illegal in several places out there.

Don’t worry about it, though. There are always other ways to spice things up in your sex life. 

For example, how about using remote-controlled vibrators? You want to keep things interesting, right? Then use these toys for some discreet play with your partner. Go out in public with them. Give them little surprises here and there. 

If you like staying at home, then how about some light bondage? Maybe roleplay a bit. Get as inventive and creative as you can. 

The sky’s the limit when it comes to these things.

As long as everyone’s consensual, then you’re good to go. Enjoy the thrill of it all. Embrace the unexpected.

5. Flirt Like Singles

Has flirting become stale between you and your lover?

If not, then great!

If so, then better bring those cheesy pickup lines back. It’s time for you to reignite that passion burning inside. 

Showing That You Do Care

The art of flirting isn’t all about exchanging sexual innuendos with one another. It’s also about showing interest. It’s about putting in the investment. 

It doesn’t have to be sexual all the time. It could be random acts of romance. For example:

  • Going on spontaneous road trips together
  • Having a date night
  • Surprising them with flowers
  • Giving them candies
  • Enjoying a spa day together to unwind
  • Comforting your partner in times of stress
  • Etc.

There are a lot of things you can do. 

Staying connected physically isn’t enough in a relationship. There has to be some emotional investment as well. 

So appreciate your partner for what it’s worth. They have always been there throughout all the hardships. So, make sure they know you’re on their side too.

6. Talk About Your Deepest Fantasies

Everyone has their sexual fantasy.  But not many couples like to share it. Much so, act on it in the bedroom. 

So why all the hesitance? Is it because the fantasy is too taboo to share out loud? Or is it something far darker than what one could muster?

Who knows. Sexual fantasies vary from person to person. So everyone has their preferences. 

What’s important is knowing how to open up that conversation.

Talk to your partner. Ask them the wildest ideas in their imagination. Can you apply it to the bedroom? If you can, then give it a whirl. Try it even if it’s just for one time.

You’ll never know if you like it unless you try.

7. Leave Love Notes Behind

Everyone has gone through the phase of sending anonymous love notes to their crushes. And at some point, it does get embarrassing to think about it now. 

However, the age of social media has changed all that.

Today, texting and sending DMs are the norm. But, this doesn’t mean that love notes are a thing of the past. You could still write love messages in your relationships.

If you live together with your partner, try leaving some notes around your home. 

Is this creative enough? Will this make her smile? Will this make her horny?

Show your inner appreciation to them. True, this is a simple thing to do. But, it can sure leave an IMPACT on your partner one way or another. 

You Have Mail!

You could always get creative when it comes to leaving love notes behind. For example, instead of scattering your messages, put them all in the mail instead. 

Send them to your woman. 

If you want, you can add in some extra sexy gifts as well. So, do as much as you can. But, you don’t have to spend too much.

In the end, it’s just the thought that counts. So, make it sincere. Make it genuine. A heartfelt letter can already go a long way in rejuvenating a relationship.

8. Book A Hotel Room

Maybe switching up locations is the right call. Sometimes, you want a change of scenery once in a while.

Book an Airbnb. Or, how about a hotel room. The decision is on you. 

Having sex in an unfamiliar place could get exciting. The feel of new sheets. New vistas. It’s all just enticing. 

Do you have kids at home? Then hire a babysitter.

Getting out of town for one night may be just the remedy you need to keep that passion alive. Pick a place where you and your partner are comfortable. 

Can I afford this place? How’s the soundproofing in this location?

Make sure you cover all your bases ahead of time.

9. Sexting

Sexting isn’t all about the nudes. Sometimes, it’s about sending hot and sexy messages to your partner. You want to improve on your flirting game, right? Then embrace the art of sexting. 

There are many topics you could cover. You could share:

  • Your fantasies with them
  • Your past encounters
  • Your anticipation of seeing them again
  • Your level of sexual urge
  • And so much more

Spicing up your sex life is often done mentally. And putting in that extra oomph could already go a long way.

So tap into your inner creativity and sext away. Let your partner know you want them. Be a little naughty for once. Stimulate your partner’s brain to the best of your abilities.

10. Have A Few Laughs

Nowadays, you can find a bunch of funny posts online. Just follow those meme-type threads and message boards. And you’re sure to get your daily dose of the internet there. 

But if you want to share a few quick laughs with your partner, send them some relatable memes.

Don’t be afraid of the humor. Embrace it. 

You’re the one who knows your partner well. So you must have an idea of what triggers their funny bone. 

Sharing a few laughs can keep things light in the relationship. In addition, it eases the tension between couples. 

So if you want to liven it up a little, go to the internet. There’s a whole treasure trove to be uncovered there.

11. Plan Out Your Sex Sessions

A calendar could be quite a handy tool to have. If you like to plan out a schedule for your sexual routine, then this is all you need. 

Remember, keeping things organized is a good thing. But, as adults, life gets in the way sometimes. So, you can’t have all the time in the world to enjoy. What you can do is learn to keep a schedule with your partner.

Make sure you two are free to fool around and have a good time. 

Having sex at least once a week is a good thing to keep your relationship alive and kicking. If you happen to be busy, then reschedule. It’s as simple as that. 

You don’t have to force yourself into the experience. Yes, sex isn’t mandatory. But don’t you want to keep that spark alive?

So talk to your partner. Ask them about their week. Ask them how their schedule’s going.

12. Give Out Small and Simple Gifts

Many new couples think that it’s all about giving expensive and fancy gifts. But in reality, not everyone can be well-off with money. That’s just a simple fact.

Not everyone can be fortunate enough to be born rich. 

However, thoughtful gifts can make just as much of an impact. You can send them as often as you want. And you can even get very creative with it. 

For example, a person once recorded a journal listing all the thoughtful things his wife did in the past year.

During their anniversary, the man gave his wife the journal. It was just a simple gift to her. She then started reading it. 

And once she went through the pages, she started crying. It reminded her of how much her husband loves and appreciates her.

Yes, it’s only a simple journal. But, there’s thought and deep meaning invested into it. 

The gift didn’t cost the man anything. Well, except for the price of the paper. But that’s it.

Plain. Simple. Yet, thoughtful. And impactful. 

Some things are priceless. And if you love your partner wholeheartedly, then nothing else matters.

What Are the Benefits of Having Fun in Your Sex Life?

A relationship could benefit so much from trying out new things. It doesn’t matter if it’s from the bedroom or outside. 

The more fun the sex is, the more likely you and your partner would want to do it again. 

Sex itself has several benefits. And if you spice it up, it’s sure to open a new realm of possibilities for your interest. 

Some pros of having fun sex include: 

  • Reducing stress
  • Increasing immunity
  • Building emotional intimacy
  • Relieving pain
  • Increasing blood circulation
  • Improving overall fitness
  • Reducing chances of depression
  • And improving sleeping habits

Final Thoughts

Remember, you don’t have to go too wild to experience new stuff. Sometimes, smaller ideas could also work. Keep this in mind: 

What works best for you may not work for others. All of us are different. 

It’s okay to want other things. It’s not a competition at the end of the day. What’s important is that there’s some effort exerted. It’s all about enthusiasm. 

Think happier. Live happier. Just have fun in your relationship and your sex life.

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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