How To Have Passionate Sex? 13 Tips For Every Couple

There’s more to slow, romantic sex with your partner than just hitting the big O. If you want to know the secrets on how to have passionate sex, it’s ALL here.

How can you spice up your love life?

That’s probably one of the questions couples think about in their spare time. 

If you’re one of them, then congrats. You are a normal functioning human being.

No matter what you’re into, intimate sex can bring out the intensity between you and your partner. You’ll not only get mind-blowing pleasure out of it but also become more intimate and close with your SO.

Do you like to have a bit more oomph thrown into your relationship? Then why not give passionate sex a try.

Lucky for you, this article’s got you covered. You want to take your game to a whole new level, right? Then here are a few tips and tricks you could try to get the MAXIMUM impact. 

But first, what is passionate sex?

Passionate or Slow Sex Defined

Sex can be fun. It can be experimental. It can be out-of-this-world. 

You can go as wild as you want. Make it as intense as you want. And, you can even make sex as kinky as you want it to be. 

There’s no judgment here

Sex is an experience. It’s you and your partner that make the rules.

Do you want to make it casual? Then go on ahead. How about making it more romantic and intimate? Well, it’s all up to you. 

Either way, you get to choose what you want.

Do you like to pant from exhaustion or have a cuddle session? It’s your choice. 

Passionate sex, in this case, is not defined as having sex in a slow pace. It’s more than that. It’s about having mindful and conscious sex with your partner. It’s about having that special connection

It’s about YOU being PRESENT!

Explore as much as both of you can on each other’s bodies. Don’t rush the process. 

Passionate sex is about lovemaking. It’s about being sensual. It’s about embracing each other on a deeper level. 

If you want a more romantic sex life, this is for you. 

Slow sex involves trust, intimacy, and a whole lot of exploration. Yes, couples can be passionate outside of the bedroom. But, this is on a different scale than that. The connection you make is more than what’s on the surface.

It’s about being together sexually, physically, and emotionally

What Makes Passionate Sex Different From the Others?

Almost every kind of sex has the purpose of providing couples sexual satisfaction. But slow and passionate sex aims to have individuals in the relationship be MORE MINDFUL. 

It enables people to be more conscious about their partners. 

The main goal is NOT focused on having an orgasm. It’s about making two people be in sync with one another. If you think about it, there is less pressure to climax when couples engage in some passionate lovemaking. 

Don’t get me wrong, having intense and wild sex is fun. But there is less time spent exploring a partner’s body. You don’t even have the chance to practice foreplay as much as you want.

What about your fantasies? Well, it depends. Some partners like it quick and to the point. But others do want to take their time talking about their sexual kinks and desires. 

It’s all a gamble depending on your partner’s mood and preferences.

To sum it up, passionate sex makes time for more intimacy, connection, and lovemaking.

If you’re more into the steadier pace of things, here’s your answer: SLOW SEX IS FOR YOU!

Don’t avoid it. Don’t run from it. EMBRACE it instead.

Couples that do engage in some passion behind closed doors have received many benefits. And these said benefits do not only affect one’s sex life. But their relationship as a whole as well. 

6 Benefits of Taking It Slow and Steady

Passionate sex is one good way to try something new in your relationship. 

Are you looking to make a change on your usual bedroom antics? Then give slow sex a try. You can get a range of benefits out of it. 

Luckily, we’ve broken down some of them here. So get comfortable. There’s more reading to be done. Here are six benefits you should know about engaging in passionate sex: 

1. Builds More Trust in the Relationship

Having fast sex gives a small amount of time to discuss limitations and boundaries. By moving at a slower speed, it’s more likely for you to converse with your partner.

What are their likes? Their dislikes? How about their triggers? What are their limits?

Having all these questions answered can give you a better understanding of your significant other. It makes it less likely for them to cross a line. It makes it less likely for you to get uncomfortable and awkward. 

If you want a respectful and safe relationship, then sexual trust has to be built. 

After all, feeling trust helps couples experience a harmonious sexual passion that elevates their overall experience. 

2. You Get Stronger Orgasms

Quickies tend to lead to faster orgasms. But passionate sex can have you last longer in bed. 

Why? You ask. 

It’s because most of the focus is on foreplay. It’s about building up that pleasure swelling inside your lover. You don’t have to rush to have yourself orgasm. You can take as long as you want

Orgasms from slow and passionate sex are MORE INTENSE. MORE pent-up. It can even lead to multiple orgasms. 

So, what more could you want?

3. Inspires Body Positivity

Does your partner know your body well? Do you have confidence in them embracing every feature and flaw you have?

Passionate sex lets you get to know your partner’s body and vice versa. 

As a result, it can make you feel sexier. Have more confidence in your skin. And importantly, it can make you feel comfortable around them. 

4. Revitalizes Your Romantic Connection

Sometimes, your sex life could get stale from doing the usual routine. Switch it up with some slow and passionate lovemaking. It can make sex more intentional

Being married can quickly get you caught up in your day-to-day activities. Sooner or later, you’ll feel distant. You will feel the spark you have with your partner slowly flicker out. 

To keep that sexual passion alive, go for something far more intimate in the bedroom. 

Take things slowly. Reevaluate each other’s desires. There’s no need to rush. 

Passionate sex can keep that romantic connection burning. 

5. Embraces Being Mindful

Have you ever just spaced out after sex? Well, it typically happens when you do engage in some quick and intense fun. 

Yes, fast sex does feel amazing. But, it gets hard to notice the more intimate moments in between. 

Slow sex can help you be more mindful in this matter. It allows you to appreciate the experience more. It will enable you to admire your partner for who they are. 

It allows you to just be present at the moment

6. Fosters Greater Intimacy Between Partners

Engaging in passionate sex allows you to talk more to your partner. It will enable you to bring up important topics in the bedroom. From foreplay and fantasies to pleasure spots and boundaries, everything’s on the table for you and your partner to discuss.  

Having this line of communication present can lead to greater intimacy. It can improve your communication in the relationship. And overall, it can make your sex life worth its time. 

Greater intimacy translates to real passion. Real passion leads to better sex. Better sex leads to more happiness in your love life. 

What more do you need?

Passionate Sex: Tips Every Couple Should Know

Mixing it up in the bedroom can be one way to keep things exciting in a relationship. So how do you do this romantic kind of lovemaking?

Well, we’ve got you on this one. Here are 13 tips every couple should know about engaging in slow and passionate sex: 

1. Get Fun and Flirty

Not being playful enough can be a mood killer for sex. Some couples take it even further by being serious about it. 

LISTEN. The more you stress about it, the less enjoyable it becomes. 

Sooner or later, you’ll have performance anxiety. Then, it could lead to sexual dysfunction. 

You don’t want that, right? So pay close attention. 

Couples tend to play around by flirting. If you flirt, you want to be mysterious. You want to be coy. You want to be as CHEEKY as you can be. 

So get your seduction 101 textbook ready and get flirty. Tease your partner. Have fun. Let loose once in a while. 

Some Expert Tips:

  • Try adopting a flirtatious attitude. 
  • Each morning you wake up, ask yourself: “How might I enjoy more play today?”
  • Dress with more confidence. 
  • Allow yourself to think dirty thoughts about your partner.
  • Have some fun moments with your partner. Maybe tickle them here and there. Or, how about giving them an unexpected kiss?

2. Foreplay is Always the Answer

Passionate sex is not a sprint. It’s a MARATHON.

And what does every marathon require from a participant? Proper warm-up. 

The average time couples spend on foreplay is 20 minutes. When you have slow sex, it tends to last 16 to maybe 25 minutes. It all depends and varies. 

Now, you don’t need to get a timer to practice. But keeping tabs does give you an idea of how much you can have your partner be at their limit. 

Having said that, what tools do you need for foreplay?

One of the best ways to get ready for sex is to use a personal lubricant. It helps the both of you get warmed up. And it helps keep certain areas slippery for long periods. 

Incorporating lube can make foreplay fun and comfortable. And it seldom helps prevent accidents happen. If you want to know more, read below for more info. 

Of course, foreplay doesn’t limit itself to the bedroom. 

You can build a culture of appreciation with your partner using your words. 

You see, some people have a praise kink. They want to feel desired. They want to be sexually attractive. 

Have you complimented them recently?

If you haven’t, then there are creative ways to do so. All you need is to know what their love language is. 

Some Expert Tips:

  • Send random text messages to your partner appreciating them.
  • Leave love notes on places they usually use or pass by. 
  • Tell them you can’t wait to see them. Make them feel wanted. Make them feel like they’re your just rewards. 

3. Stay Mindful

The biggest sex organ in the body is the brain.

“If your mind isn’t fully present, your body simply cannot function.”

This saying applies to almost every aspect of your life. Your sex life included. Women won’t be able to lubricate. Men won’t be able to maintain their erections. And having to orgasm may not be as easy as it used to be. 

Thankfully, this is where being mindful comes in. 

Mindfulness deepens physical intimacy. It heightens our senses. And it can make sex a whole new experience. 

Regularly practicing a mindful life can get you the greatest of pleasures. You can improve both your physical and emotional intimacy. And you can get as much satisfaction as you want during sex. 

Some Expert Tips:

  • Use what professionals call “sensate focus.”

How do you utilize this? Easy.

Simply direct your attention to your physical sensations if your mind starts wandering around. Then, ask yourself: 

  • “What do I feel?”
  • “What sensations are arising within me?”
  • “Where does the pleasure reside?”
  • “Can I expand these sensations to my partner?”

4. Know What You Want

Every person has a sexual script. Think of it as a menu where you can have all your preferences laid out. 

Comfortable couples are more eager to share what’s on this menu, while others tend to be more reserved. So it varies from person to person.

Some people may not like to share their tastes. And that’s okay. No pressure. 

Intimacy is built through passion and being expressive. People have their wants and desires. And not everyone shares the same interests at the end of the day. 

What you can do is talk to your partner. Open up to them. And just share your kinks. 

No need to get shy. It’s for the betterment of your sex life. 

Some Expert Tips:

  • Visualize your erotic tastes. Then, set aside time to talk to your partner. Have an open conversation with them. Share your past experiences. And afterward, let them share theirs. 
  • Try taking an online sex quiz with your partner to break the ice. 
  • Finally, you could always seek out professional help if your partner still needs a push. 

5. Explore New Experiences

The brain rewards novelty in many ways. For example, trying something new can trigger what experts call “the reward pathway.”

What’s that? You ask.

To put it simply, it’s something that releases increased levels of dopamine into the body. As a result, it can give out a feeling of pleasure and euphoria.  

Additionally, the substantia nigra is also activated. This part of the brain helps people pay more attention. And can have them remember encounters longer.

So if you want to create lasting memories, try out new experiences. Live out your life. Embrace the unexpected.

Some Expert Tips:

  • Make a plan with your partner. You can have it once a month. Or you could schedule it a couple of times a year. Your choice. 

It doesn’t have to be associated with sex. Maybe a simple night out with the hubby would do. How about painting classes? A hike? Anything will do. 

  • How about introducing something new in the bedroom? A sensual massage? How about lingerie? If you’re up to getting wild, then try a little bondage. 

Get as experimental as you can be. You could try incorporating a jar of ideas if you and your partner are not up to the task as decision-makers. Just have fun with it. 

Remember, there is no pressure. And there are certainly no expectations. 

6. Have Your Rituals

The brain is also a creature of habit. It imprints both experiences and expectations in the human body. For example, whenever people get aroused, the brain sends chemicals all over their system. 

It triggers a sense of longing and desire. 

It triggers that feeling of excitement of anticipation.

Couples who incorporate rituals into their daily routines can draw from a whole can of intimate and anticipation familiarity. 

It helps them feel aroused. It helps them feel ready to go. 

Some Expert Rituals:

  • Make a habit of saying hello and goodbye to your partner. And make it as unique as it can be. 
  • Set your alarm clock right and enjoy coffee with your partner early in the morning. They’ll for sure appreciate your company. 
  • Cuddle or hold hands as you wake up and talk about your day together.
  • How about a lunch date? You don’t have to go somewhere fancy. A local food hub would do. 
  • How about scheduling your sexy nights? No need to go strict on the timetable. Just keep a playful mindset. You want to keep your excitement high, right? So, plan out those sexual adventures with your lover. 

7. Plan Ahead of Time

Romance doesn’t always start in the bedroom. Sometimes, it takes a few conversations here and there to turn up the heat.

Talk to your partner. Don’t give in to the anticipation. DRAG IT OUT. Have your sexual urge pile up inside of you. 

You want to build anticipation. You want to build mystery. And most importantly, you want to have genuine romantic moments

Book a dinner reservation. Plan a whole getaway with your partner. Have a stroll with them by the beach. Any little thing still MATTERS. 

The point is that you want to build up romance and excitement.

So plan early. Get everything sorted out. And eventually, you’ll get one memorable night ahead of you. 

8. Set the Mood Up

There is so much that you can do to keep a romantic atmosphere up. 

Setting the mood just right can make you and your partner feel excited. It can make you ready to go all out on them. 

However, a proper setup takes some planning. It needs a little bit of brain power. It requires a little bit of your manhandling. 

So, what can you do? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Fix up the bed. Make it look clean and presentable.
  • Light some candles all over the room. 
  • Add some sexy scents to the air.
  • Put on a sensual playlist. 

Whatever you do, make it as comfortable as you can. And more importantly, make it inviting. 

9. Communicate as Much as You Can

Babe, do you like it here? Is it okay if I do this? Do you want me to go slow? Or fast?

COMMUNICATION is key to engaging in passionate sex. 

Again, it’s all about opening up. Talk to your partner. Ask them what they like. Tell them what you like. 

Proper communication goes both ways. 

Do they have boundaries? How about kinks? What sex positions do they like?

All of these should be gone through beforehand. Don’t surprise them too much in bed. Things can go downhill pretty quickly. 

A good communication network doesn’t stop itself in sex. Instead, it goes far toward the relationship of couples. 

10. Be Experimental

Doing a little experiment with your partner can get super hot. With passionate sex, you can take your time exploring your lover’s body. 

What are their erogenous areas? 

What are their sensitive spots?

You can explore as much as you want. Using the same moves during sex can help you forget to explore new possibilities. So get wild and freaky with it. 

Touch them as much as you can. Kiss them as much as you can.

Who knows, you may discover a new weak spot or two. 

11. Personal Lubricants

Using personal lubricants was touched on in the discussion of foreplay. However, it’s worth giving it a spot. 

The use of long-lasting lubes is crucial in passionate encounters. 

Why? Well, as the name implies, slow sex takes things SLOW. So, as a result, the whole experience takes longer. 

Yes, it sounds great. But there is an increased chance that the anus or vagina can dry out. 

So make sure you have lube by your side ready to go. You’ll never know what will happen. So, best prepare for the worst. 

12. Use Sex Toys

Passionate sex doesn’t have to limit itself to the human body. Adding a few sex toys in bed can be just the right amount of flavor you need to spice things up. 

You want to experiment, right? Then, introduce your partner to a few of these sex toys. 

From vibrators to dildos, you can try out as much as you want. Just make sure you have their consent. But, of course, not everyone can be comfortable with the idea. 

So if it comes down to it, make compromises. 

Yes, trying out new stuff can be fun. But having your partner feel awkward and in pain can kill the mood altogether. 

13. Embrace the Sexual Afterglow

After spending a hot and heavy session with your partner, it’s easy to call it quits there. But don’t let the intimacy stop.

Bask yourself in the afterglow. Make that positive feeling last. 

A sexual afterglow usually results from having satisfying sex with your significant other. As a result, oxytocin and dopamine reactors activate in the brain. 

As briefly explored, these chemicals play a part in intimacy and romance.  So, a little cuddling couldn’t hurt. 

Do you want to have a deeper connection with your partner? Then stay put.

Talk for a bit. Let the slow and intense session sink in. Let all your brain processes do the work. 

More Ideas You Could Try

Of course, you don’t have to limit yourself to the suggestions given above. There are more simple yet sensual ideas you could still try out:

  • Check In With Your Partner. Don’t leave your partner high and dry. Ask them how they’re doing. Do they feel good? Is their body feeling okay? Asking all these questions shows them that you do care for them and that you do take responsibility. 
  • Continue The Sex Conversation. Taking things slow and steady isn’t limited to closed doors. Keep the passion and flirt going outside. Make every day a tease for yourself and your partner. 
  • Try A Blindfold. Live out your fantasies. Do you want to roleplay? Then, by all means, go on ahead. The bedroom is your throne. 
  • Play With Food. Why not add a cherry on top? Like a literal cherry. Yes, adding food in the bedroom may seem out of the box. But it helps keep things interesting. It helps keep the romance fresh. 
  • Watch Porn Together. Sometimes a good watch-along is all you need with your partner. So, sit back and relax, and just enjoy the show. 
  • Masturbate With Them. If adult videos aren’t enough, then the next best thing would do.
  • Slowly Undress. Do a strip tease in front of your partner. You want to build anticipation, right? Then have yourself do a little performance. 

Final Thoughts

In the end, the secret to having a successful sex life is all about keeping it fresh. 


Having passionate sex is great. But sometimes, getting crazy and wild can be a fun experience too. So, learn to balance it out. 

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

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