Becoming an oral sex pro gives both receiving and giving partners super pleasure power. If you want to know how to give a girl head, be sure to read our guide here.
The path to the female orgasm is a tricky one.
Most girls aren’t cumming all willy-nilly like guys can, at least when it comes to sex with a partner (masturbation is a different matter). Still, some ways make your girl’s journey to that big O much easier.
One of them is giving her some head.
Of course, you probably already knew that. And you might be worried you don’t know how to do it well.
Cunnilingus might seem a bit tricky, but it feels amazing for everyone involved if done right.
Your girl will receive toe-curling pleasure, and her moaning will make you feel like you have sex superpowers. And because I want that for you, I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned in my own head-giving journey.
Ready? Let’s begin.
The female genitalia is VERY sensitive and prone to irritations and infection. So if you don’t want to ruin the fun of giving head, you should always practice good hygiene.
Wash your mouth and make sure your gums aren’t bleeding and you don’t have any open sores. Wash your hands as well – you will probably use your fingers and your tongue. Use soap and warm water, don’t just rinse.
Make sure your nails don’t have any sharp edges. This can cause harm to the vaginal tissue if you decide to add on some fingering action. Instead, cut them short and smooth them out with a nail file.
Are you in a committed relationship, or is this a more casual hook-up? Giving head can be fun in both instances, but you should make sure you and your partner practice safe sex.
There isn’t much to worry about if you’re in a monogamous relationship and both have been tested for STIs.
Still, avoid giving head when with a sore throat – bacteria can travel to the vulva and cause problems. Your partner should also keep you safe and not let you go down on her if she has some issue down there, even if it’s not sex-related.
If you’re not sure about your or your partner’s health status, giving her head can be risky. In that case, and all other cases requiring protection, you can use a dental dam.
If you don’t have a dental dam, you can DIY a replacement – slice a condom in half or cut some material from a latex glove.
*Bonus tip: Watch this video from School of Squirt to learn how to tease and eat her right to give her the best orgasm of her life. Fair warning, you might get very, very wet in the process.*
Learn Where Everything Is
Female genitalia has A BUNCH of different pleasure spots, and if you want to become a master of giving head, you should explore them all. Which also means knowing where everything is and how to work with it.
The term for the outermost organ is “VULVA” and not the vagina. Please remember that!
THE VAGINA is located at the very bottom of the vulva, and it’s the opening to the internal part of the genitalia. The vulva also contains the LIPS or LABIA. And at the very top where the lips meet, you’ll find the CLITORIS, protected by the clitoral hood.
You’ll focus on that last one when giving head because it’s the most sensitive part of the privates.
There is another sweet spot you should keep in mind, although it’s internal – The G-SPOT. It’s a very sensitive spongy area on the front wall of the vagina, about 3 inches deep. You can stimulate it with your fingers or a toy as you’re going down on your girl.
Communication Is Key!
Communication during oral sex (or any other kind of sex) is more than just moans and heavy breathing.
Yes, part of it is paying close attention to body language. She is enjoying herself if she is relaxed, moaning, or stroking your hair while you’re down there. On the other hand, if she’s stiff or squirms, the sensation might be too intense for her.
Body language aside, DIRECT AND HONEST COMMUNICATION is most important for any type of intimacy, especially oral sex.
You can talk about your partner’s needs and your experience level before you get it on. Then, after you finish, you can discuss what worked and what didn’t. You can even talk WHILE you’re giving her head – dirty talking is a favorite of many people (and I am one of them).
Yes, your mouth IS kind of busy, but I’m sure you can squeeze some sexy questions in. It’s also a great excuse to let her do most of the talking and guide you through what makes her feel good.
In other words: instead of making assumptions, JUST ASK! To give great head, you should keep communication open.
Ask simple questions. “Do you want it harder? Should I slow down? Where do you want me to touch you? Do you like it like that?” Understanding what pleases the other person is very important.
I don’t want to sound like a PSA, but consent is sexy.
Make sure your girl is down with whatever you’re doing. Nobody wants something done to them that they don’t enjoy. Don’t be offended or self-conscious if she doesn’t like one of your moves or isn’t in the mood for something. Boundaries should be discussed straightforwardly.
Remember that every person is different and finds different things pleasurable.
Learn and discover with every partner. Encourage your girl to tell you what feels good. Experiment together. Talk about different scenarios like positions and techniques.
Don’t forget to share what you want to try out, what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with, what you’re familiar with, what you’re unsure about, etc.
Want to explore more tips? Check out our ultimate sex tips for men list here.
Let Her Relax
A relaxed partner is far more likely to enjoy themselves and achieve orgasm. Set the mood – put on your girl’s favorite music, remove distractions like phones, and make sure nobody will bother you. You can experiment with relaxing scents or even a massage.
The most important thing is that your partner feels safe with you and isn’t self-conscious about any part of their body.
If you have a problem like that, make sure to tell your girl how much you like her taste, her smell, and the shape of her privates. You can slip that in during some dirty talking.
Fast And Slow
Should you go slow, or should you go fast? That is the question.
Unless she has told you otherwise, it is best to start slow. That doesn’t mean that fast pace is bad or unwanted. It just means you have to build up to it.
“Start slow” doesn’t only mean lick her pussy slowly. (Although that really is a good idea).
It also means starting with less pressure, so it is not “too much too soon.” After all, the clitoris is a VERY sensitive organ. You don’t want to overstimulate it because it might be unpleasant and even painful for your partner.
Don’t directly touch the clitoris at first – the clitoral hood is there for a reason
If your partner is comfortable with soft stimulation, try out more pressure or even direct contact with the clitoris, but TREAD CAREFULLY.
Sometimes, going slow also means taking your time to get to the actual cunnilingus part. Pay special attention to foreplay. Try out some teasing (see more here).
It’s always a good idea to start things off with kissing, which feels fantastic and can create an emotional bond between you and your partner. You can also try giving your girl a massage – it’s not only relaxing but also an incredible turn-on for many people.
Caressing is also essential – run your fingers wherever she likes to be touched – after all, stimulating the vulva is not the only way to pleasure your partner. Stimulate all your girl’s sensitive spots. Try kissing her neck and wrists, nibbling on her earlobes, caressing her breasts and butt, stroking her hair…
Teasing can also make your girl’s juices flow.
Good examples are caressing or licking her really close to her private parts without touching them, like her inner thighs or the lower part of her belly. Maybe brush against her clit “by accident” and then continue to stay close but out of reach.
Doing all of this will build up arousal, which often takes some time with women. An adequately turned-on girl will be more sensitive and receptive to pleasure when you give her head.
Most women can’t cum without at least some clitoral stimulation. That’s why giving your girl head is one of the best ways to get her the big O.
But what to do with the clit?
There are many ways to play with the clitoris, and you should explore what works best for your partner at the moment.
First of all, make sure your tongue and lips are moist. If your mouth is too dry, things might feel a bit harsh on the clitoris.
Licking is, of course, the most popular oral technique out there.
You can try out a fast tongue flick technique. It’s like you’re tickling the clit and labia with your tongue. Don’t apply too much pressure. Keep it quick and light.
Another favorite technique is what I call the “ice cream lick.”
You have to keep your tongue flat. Then just lick up and down. You can mix it up by licking it side-to-side. Moving your head instead of your tongue will let you apply more pressure.
Try drawing little circles with your tongue around the clit.
This is a popular technique, and it may work great for you and your partner. One side of the clitoris is often more sensitive than the other, so that way, you’re making sure you’re hitting the sweet spot.
You can also try sucking on the clitoris. This technique is often overlooked, but many women actually love it. Just make sure you don’t go overboard with the level of suction.
Try combining sucking and licking. Suck the clit into your mouth, hold it there, and lick in whatever motion works for you and your partner. Release and repeat OR keep a steady suction.
Nibbling on the clit is also an option, but bear in mind that it’s kind of risky. It’s a pretty intense sensation and might be painful for many people. Definitely talk about it BEFORE you try it out. When you try it, make sure it’s a LIGHT nibble.
Use Your Whole Mouth And Face
Don’t let your tongue do a “one-man show.” It does a lot of work when it comes to going down on someone, but constant licking can be pretty tiring for that little muscle. The good news is it’s not your only way to pleasure a woman when giving head.
We already talked about how you can get your lips and even teeth in on the action by sucking and nibbling. Don’t just focus on the clitoris – suck and nibble on the whole vulva. You can also kiss it all over.
Why the whole vulva? Because what you call the clit is actually just the clitoral glans.
There is a whole clitoral network, with most of its parts inside the body. However, they can be traced down both sides of the vulva and in the vagina. Incorporating more of the vulva surface area and more ways to give pleasure will bring your partner closer to climax.
But it’s not only your mouth that you can use. What about your nose? It provides a different kind of sensation and can apply precise pressure. Also, it lets you take a whiff of your partner’s scent, which can be VERY arousing.
Don’t Forget The Vagina
Why are we making such a fuss about the clit? Is clitoral stimulation better than vaginal stimulation?
As I’ve said, many women can’t orgasm with intercourse alone. One can even argue that vaginal orgasms don’t actually exist!
What was that? That’s impossible!
Plenty of women have orgasmed because of penetration. But there is a catch. The G-spot is actually part of the clitoral network we talked about earlier. So this basically makes all orgasms clitoral orgasms!
Fun facts aside, vaginal stimulation is highly appreciated, even if the reason it feels good has mostly to do with the clitoris. So it’s a good idea to incorporate it into your cunnilingus routine.
Of course, you can lick around the entrance of the vagina, and that feels amazing.
But you will really elevate your experience if you combine clitoral stimulation with PENETRATION. You can use your fingers, sex toys, or even your tongue.
Like I already said when we talked about licking: Don’t rush things! Even if you and your girl are into some rough play, getting to penetration too fast might cause pain or just turn
Whether you’re using toys or fingers, it’s essential to make sure you’re not going in dry.
Some girls get wet pretty quickly, so you can get by without any synthetic lube (especially if you did your part during foreplay). Sometimes, your girl may not get very wet even if she is already aroused. In that case, you can lick your fingers or the toy to add some moisture.
Another option is to use lube. Water-based lube is the most versatile option – it works great, is available everywhere, and won’t damage any toys or condoms.
Some lubricants have a cooling, warming, or tingling effect, adding to your girl’s pleasure.
Start slow with the penetration and build up as you go. Find your rhythm. Don’t forget to lick and suck the clit at the same time. For bonus points, find the G-Spot and stimulate it with a “come hither” motion. You can also use a toy specifically designed to stimulate the G-spot.
Double stimulation is VERY intense and can deliver some mind-blowing orgasms. If you pleasure the G-spot right (and with some luck), you might even give your girl a SQUIRTING orgasm.
Mix It Up A Little
The most popular position for a guy giving head is when the girl lays on her back and the guy’s face between her legs. It’s basically the missionary position with a twist.
This position has its benefits: it lets your partner relax and gives you access to all of her nether region parts to stimulate. Penetration is also easy.
But isn’t that a bit BORING? Why not explore other possibilities? Different angles deliver different sensations.
Here are some suggestions:
Perform oral from behind. When the girl is on all fours, the vagina opens up and allows you to really get in there. You also have access to her anus if you decide to do some rimming.
Let HER stand and get on YOUR knees. The power dynamics alone can be very arousing for both of you. Also, it’ll be fun to watch her try to keep standing while she shivers with pleasure.
Lay on your back while she straddles your face. Your neck will be less tired. She’ll grind on your tongue and have more control over the rhythm and pressure. You can also penetrate her vagina with your tongue more deeply.
Try 69ing. This allows you to both give AND receive. You can also synch up your rhythm.
Keep A Steady Rhythm When She’s Close
When your partner gets close to climax, it’s a natural reaction to try and stimulate her BETTER, FASTER, AND STRONGER. After all, that’s how climax works for most men – they go harder just before orgasm.
The female orgasm, however, has different mechanics.
I hate to break it to you, but changing ANYTHING in your technique just before the moment of the big O will most likely ruin things. That’s not to say you can’t incorporate edging into cunnilingus.
Edging is when you slow down just before the climax to postpone it. This way, you can build up tension multiple times before the fireworks. This is an awesome turn-on for a lot of women. Not only that, but the edging can also give you MORE POWERFUL orgasms.
So deliberately slowing down to postpone your girl’s climax can be fantastic if done right. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about getting overly enthusiastic and going harder.
Most women need a steady pace and pressure to achieve orgasm. So after you try out a few things and explore what works for your partner, you should find and keep a rhythm.
Be extra mindful to keep doing exactly what you’re doing as your girl approaches the finish line. This might be hard because you’re probably getting extra aroused. Focus on your partner!
Keep going as your girl reaches orgasm. Continuing the stimulation at the moment of climax will be a powerful and delightful sensation and will probably prolong the orgasm.
Go faster ONLY IF your girl indicates she wants more speed!
Show You’re Having A Good Time As Well
Women love nothing more than a devoted lover. Actually, it’s the same for guys.
You know how getting an enthusiastic blowjob is a billion times better than getting one by a girl that’s doesn’t seem really into it? I’m SURE you do.
Well, it’s the same for girls. If you show your enthusiasm while giving them head, they will have a better time.
Make your girl feel sexy and desired. Talk dirty to her. Compliment her on her body and even her taste. Tell her how much she turns you on and how much you enjoy giving her pleasure.
You can even touch yourself while licking her to show her exactly what a good time you’re having.
Well, those were pretty much the basics you needed to know before diving headfirst between your partner’s legs.
These tips are based on my experience, so make them your own. After all, everyone experiences pleasure differently. Don’t be afraid to experiment and explore!
One last thing: practice makes perfect. You might not hit the bullseye on the first try, but you have to keep going. I’m sure you’ll have a blast learning.