Beginner’s Guide: How To Choose A Butt Plug [2023]

In this guide, you’ll learn how to choose a butt plug, from its shape, size, and material, so you don’t get deep (and lost) in never-ending options. Read on:

bag with beauty products and princess butt plug

Photo by SexualAlpha team

It’s easy to get sucked in a whirlpool of butt plug options if you have no idea what you’re looking for. Yup, I’ve pretty much been there.

But just like inserting your very first butt plug, choosing one is better if you relax.

Breathe in, breathe out…

In this guide, I’ll get down to the nitty-gritty of butt plug selection, so you can short-list your choices and find the right one (or two) for you.


How to Choose a Butt Plug

Butt plugs are seemingly such simple sex toys. But the same as the world of dildos, you need to learn quite a bit to get started.

To make sure your desired outcome aligns with reality.

For example, in each of the cases, you’ll want a different anal plug:

  • Looking for a comfortable butt plug to wear during the day at work?
  • Do you want to stretch yourself to prepare for enjoyable anal sex?
  • Do you want an anal plug to be worn during sex? (Hello, double penetration!)
  • Want to specifically stimulate the G- or P-spot that has lots of nerve endings?

But on top of that, there is the foundation of what you know about butt plug designs.

The design of a butt plug may be subtle, but it will affect how you will feel when putting it in and having it in.

For example, you must know the safe materials for your sex toys. Or what is the safe shape of the base to ensure the anal plug doesn’t get sucked in the butt.

And avoid those that create unnecessary danger to yourself.

So with that being said, what are the qualities of a great butt plug?

The Anatomy

The Base

Let’s get started with safety first.

The size of the base matters. The last thing you want is to have the butt plug sucked in during passionate play and not get it out.

Generally, a T-shaped base and a flared base would be good choices.

The jeweled princess butt plugs are the most famous for having these issues.

These sex toys look beautiful, but their base is too small. 

On top of that, the cheap knockoffs (anything within the $20–$50 range) are not made from stainless steel.

You’ll see chrome-plated plugs. And they are not safe to wear as chrome wears off over time (and get stuck in your butt hole).

Princess butt plugs look gorgeous. But expect to pay more for quality and body-safe stainless steel options.

Haka Pretty Plugs

Silicone toys are much cheaper.

Blush Luxe Wearable

These anal plugs are great for presentation but not so great sex toys for long-term wear or comfiness.

The main reason is the butt plug’s round shape. It will squeeze in your butt cheeks and not be pleasant.

That is why T-shaped bases are a lot better. They snugly fit between the cheeks, and anatomy works in our favor.

Some may prefer the flared base. But it really comes to individual preference.

But then again, steel is rigid. That’s why many favor silicone which is lighter and softer. It simply feels comfier inside and outside, sitting between the cheeks.

The Shape Of The Tip

If you’re a beginner, the pointier, smaller the initial size of the tip, the easier it will be to insert the plug.

But you can also use your fingers to open up your butt a bit and start with a more rounded plug.


And you can save some money on not getting a super low entry beginner’s plug.

The main con with pointy tips comes if you decide to sit on it. It’s gonna stab your rectal wall.

Walking around, having sex is all fine, just sitting won’t be pleasant.

This is something to consider if you’re looking for a plug that you’ll wear more often during the day. 

I highly recommend a more rounded tip.

Gradual Increase And Decrease In Size

After the tip, there is a gradual increase. And after reaching the widest point, there should be a gradual decrease in size until you reach the plug’s neck and the base.

This is the main problem with most ace-shaped or jeweled princess butt plugs.

A big bulb slowly increases in size, and then there’s a sharp drop that snaps the plug in place.

Yes, it’s all fine on insertion, but removal will be a pain.

The girthier the plugs you use, the more you’ll feel this sharp drop-off.

Watch out.

Length And Width Of The Neck

First of all, watch out for toys with short necks. Anything less than 1″ in length is a red flag. 

This is because we have two anal sphincters.

One external that we can control and second that’s more internal that we cannot control, but we can relax.

This is a man’s anatomy, but sphincters don’t change for genders.

Plugs with short necks are uncomfortable. That’s because the inner sphincter cannot relax as it doesn’t sit on the neck.

It instead sits on the wider part of the plug, essentially wanting to push it outside.

The second thing to watch out for is the width.

Pro Tip

If you’re looking for comfortable wear — you want as thin a neck as possible.

So you don’t feel the plug on your sphincters but the pleasant sensations as it presses your G- or P-spot.

If you’re looking for something that stretches and prepares you for anal sex, you want to wear something with a wider neck… To relax the sphincters over time to take in something of the size of the penis, for example.

Which Material to Choose? Soft vs. Firm

The material is a big decision both from the standpoint of sensations you want and your budget.

There are three main body-safe materials that you can choose from:

  • Silicone Butt Plugs: Silicone is great for long-term wear as it’s softer and has more “give” to adjust to your anus. These plugs are also the most affordable. The downsides are that they don’t slide as easily. Their softness doesn’t put pressure on the G- or P-spot as much. And you cannot use silicone lube with them (you can use coconut oil, though). Oh, and no matter how they are easy to clean, they will retain some odor.
  • Borosilicate Glass Butt Plugs: Glass looks awesome. It is rigid and more affordable than its close neighbor steel and slides in easily. Plus, they are great for temperature play, meaning you can warm them up or cool them down before anal play. The downside is that most glass plugs have round bases. Or a flared base that is uncomfortable and will dig into your butt cheeks.
  • Stainless-Steel Butt Plugs (the real ones): These plugs are indestructible. And they will last forever. They are heavy, slide in easily, and easy to clean. You can use any lube with them, and a steel plug will hit the G or P-spot nicely & forcefully. The downside is that steel plugs retain temperature. They are cold at first, and later they become very hot after extended wear. Also, they are not as comfortable for long-term wear. And they are the priciest of the bunch (the real stainless-steel material).

→ It’s about answering the question: What is the desired outcome you want?

  • Silicone: The most comfortable for long-term wear. Also the most affordable body-safe option. It has vibrating options.
  • Glass: Has lots of qualities similar to steel at a very affordable price tag. Not so many shapes available, though (but look into Icicles).
  • Stainless Steel: Looks sexy, feels great for pressing the right buttons. Heavy. Expensive. Indestructible. You can use it with silicone lube that lasts for a long time. You can even bundle it with a lube shooter.

I recommend starting with silicone or glass as they are a lot more affordable.

Then you can later upgrade to a high-quality steel option once you know the size you like.

Avoid metal, chrome-plated crap, alloy metal butt plugs.

That’s NOT stainless steel. It’s an unsafe material that’s been labeled as body-safe.

If you’re thinking you’re getting a great deal, more likely you’re about to stick unsafe metal in your ass.

Many shops will specify their material as a metal rather than explaining more which raises red flags.

Stainless steel is expensive. Anything less than $60–80 is a knockoff.

Njoy’s smallest plug is made of 140 g of medical-grade steel.

How To Figure The Right Size For You?

This one is easy.

Start small, and keep in mind 0.25″ girth increments.

Play with your fingers first. Lube it up and insert one, then two fingers.

See what feels comfortable, measure the width or circumference and start from there.

The Pipedream Anal Fantasy line has five affordable gradual increases of silicone plugs.

Pipedream’s Anal Fantasy Silicone Plugs

It does not have a flared base but a T-shape base.

It’s also a good idea to buy anal training kits. And also several cheap different size silicone dildos that you can play with.

Even better if one of them has vibrations. Work your way by starting cheap first (but preferably still body-safe).

We didn’t even focus on prostate toys. But even if women don’t have a prostate, the curved toys still press internally on their G-spot nerve endings — giving tons of pleasure.

You can even use a butt plug as a hybrid prostate massager.


Finding the best butt plug for you takes time and pleasant self-exploration.

But at least now that you’re equipped with the right information, you can avoid common mistakes (plus wasted time and money).

And then work your way to make better rear-end decisions. 😊

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More

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