How To Be Good In Bed: A Sexual Alpha Male’s Guide

Becoming a better lover takes time and effort, but it shouldn’t hurt if you learn how to be good in bed now. And we’ve got just the right tips for you here – Sexual Alpha style. Read on:

Are you tired of having unsatisfying sex with your partner?

Do you enjoy the sex you’re having but wish it was even BETTER

Well, look no further! 

This article’s got you all the tips you need to have your girl ORGASM like there’s no tomorrow. 

But first, let’s cover one basic understanding of sex. 

How To Be Good in Bed: A Perspective on Sex

Not many people are open about their desire to improve in bed.

Is it shyness? Is it a shame? Or could it be something else entirely?

Whatever it is, this needs to change. 

First and foremost, people have this perception that men can either be naturally good or bad behind the sheets. It’s like saying they either have the talent or they don’t. 

But, that is all just a false view of things. 

Men are different. We are different from one another. Our sex lives are not the same. 

Yes, sex is one of life’s great joys. But it’s also something people could put effort into working. With enough time and dedication, performance will improve. So, just be patient.

You’ll get there eventually.

Believe in Yourself

Again, patience is a virtue

All you got to do is believe in yourself first. 

Don’t convince yourself that you’re all out of options. You’ll just push your motivation out of the way.

Sex with your woman may not feel good today. But it doesn’t mean it won’t get any BETTER. 

Telling yourself “it’s bad” will just make it worse. So, get that way of thinking out of your head. Instead, take each step little by little.

You’re bound to see some improvement sooner or later.

Remember, not giving up is an important quality a good partner should have.

Saying that you can’t do it means that you are quitting ahead. 

SO, DON’T GIVE IN! It’ll be eventually worth it. 

Why Are You Bad In Bed?

First of all, it takes balls for you to know the root cause of the problem. That’s because you’re exposing yourself to the truth. And nothing but the truth. 

So, how can you make a 180 in this regard?

Well, what makes sex great can be a complicated thing to discuss. The short answer: you have to take several considerations into account. 

Is it your technique? Is it your physical stamina? Is it your mental space?

Or, can it be the relationship itself?

Taking care of all this takes a lot of work. But you’ll soon find it to pay off. 

Just be open-minded about it. Don’t close out your options. There are many answers you can find. 

If you find what you’re looking for, then take a closer look. First, examine it from all corners. Then, try applying it to the bedroom. 

You might be disappointed now, but your hard work will soon have its worth. Just take your time.

You can’t go pro without being a rookie first. So always take on the challenge. Seek out new ways. Sharpen your skills. And expand on what you’ve already learned.

You want to please your girl, right?

So get yourself on the move. 

Be Realistic

Ground yourself to reality when it comes to sexual expectations.

The scenes you see in movies and on the Internet are NOT accurate. They’re all just FANTASY! 

Yes, it can be a turn-on. But, you shouldn’t base these scenarios on your real life. But unfortunately, there are still people that see it as reality. 

Is this what I should be doing to my partner?

Well, no. You don’t have to. 

What makes sex scenes bad is that it lets people set unrealistic expectations for their partners.

As a result, it will make relationships end in disappointment. And eventually, hurt feelings. 

Women have several unfair expectations and pressures on them. It’s not only sex. But also, standards stemmed from society’s views.

There are even studies that correlate a woman’s self-esteem to good sex. From there, it highlights how confident women can perform better in bed. 

So how can you separate fiction from reality?

Well, you could start by putting everything in order. First, the media you see is there for entertainment purposes. It is not for education.

Keep a balanced perspective.

You could still have an exciting time in the bedroom. But don’t just copy what you see in porn and movies. 

Make it unique. Make it an experience.

Put some work into it. Once you find your pacing, then you’re good to go. 

The secret to great sex is different in all couples. You just have to explore the possibilities with your partner. If you can, read what experts have to say. Maybe consider professional help even. 

It’s normal to struggle with these sorts of things. But you shouldn’t give up. 

It’s for you and your partner’s benefit in the long run. So best take in those strides right here and now. 

Be Kind

How you treat your partner outside the bedroom can affect your sex life. According to research, people are looking for two traits in a partner:

  • Honesty
  • Kindness

These traits apply to both men and women. 

Generally speaking, people want partners that treat them well. So be considerate to her. Be an understanding individual in the relationship.

It’s all fine to argue sometimes. But there’s no better feeling than having a happy and healthy relationship.

Something to note

If you have a positive relationship, then the better the sex life. 

Being kind keeps your love life in a good place. That’s because relationship issues are one thing that can hinder you from having amazing sex. 

Having all that said, DON’T FAKE IT as well. Be genuine about it. 

It is a turn-off for women to be with guys who are faking their kindness. First, it makes the man look desperate in their eyes. It makes them look like a fool. 

Remember, it’s all about being honest. So make it real. Commit to it!

The Art Of Dirty Talk

Most women get turned on by dirty talk. They’re not like us guys who get horny by just seeing something attractive pass our eyes.

There’s more to it to the ladies. But there are exceptions as well.

Guys, on the other hand, operate on a smaller scale. We are visual creatures.

Put something beautiful in front. And voila, you get a boner! You get a boner! Everbody gets a boner!

Simply put, it’s all about physical appearances for the men. 

As for women, it also matters. But they’re more into the emotional attachments they share with their partners. 

Erotic novels are more of their forte. They stimulate the mind. And they can also unlock their deepest desires within their imagination. 

You don’t see women ogling often as much as guys. But that doesn’t mean they’re less horny. It just means their focus is elsewhere. 

Men are way into the physical stuff. Not only on the surface but also when it comes to sex. 

For girls, it’s more about having value.

How much does the guy care for her? Is he as invested in the relationship as I am?

All of these questions are present in a woman’s mind.

Taking into account these differences makes an impact on your sex life. Focusing only on your perspective can leave her high and dry. So make sure you can activate her sexual triggers as well. 

Compliment her. Admire her talents. Congratulate her on her accomplishments. Tell her she’s beautiful. 

Something to note

If you want the best results, then give her affirmations.

Do it in and out of the bedroom. You could even do it at her workplace. It doesn’t matter where she is. Let her feel valued. 

If you compliment your woman during intimacy only, she may have doubts. She’ll start to wonder if the only thing you appreciate about her is your intimate experiences with her. 

So what you can do is reassure her. Tell her that you’re in it for HER. 

Sexual Enhancers

For Men

Having to climax early can be frustrating for your woman. If it means the end, then she’ll be leaving unsatisfied. It can even put her in a foul mood. 

So if this continues, then the more damage it can do to a relationship. 

It could be a red flag to her. As a result, she’ll lose interest in having sex with you. But, on the other hand, not meeting her needs can be just as much of a turn-off. So, make sure you get to satisfy her the best you can. 

One good way to solve this issue is to use a sexual enhancer.

For example, delay sprays help men have better sex. They will help you last longer in the bedroom.

According to research, this type of product can work wonders. By using this, you can give your girl a full-blown experience. You’ll have an increased performance. And you can make your sessions last as long as you can hold out. 

It would be the perfect opportunity to try a lot of things. So have fun. Maybe experiment a little. You’ll for sure have a blast. 

For Women

As for women, there are products such as female arousal gels. These products help to stimulate the flow of blood in the body. In addition, they can give a tingling sensation to the clit. As a result, they can help women orgasm better. 

Make sure that you look at the ingredients and choose paraben-free arousal products.

What’s paraben-free? You ask.

Well, what this generally means is that it doesn’t contain any hormones. So the likes of progesterone, estrogen, and even testosterone are not present in the ingredients. 

Don’t Compare Relationships

It’s common for humans to compare themselves to one another. It’s all part of human nature

Is he more good-looking? Does he have more cars? Is he rich?

All of this can stem from one person’s mind. And that’s just normal. 

According to social psychologists, people evaluate themselves through comparison. It is the basis of how humans generate their self-esteem. 

But it doesn’t stop there. People also put comparisons in their relationships.

Did they go on a date? Did he propose already? Did they move in together?

All of these can also be thought of by couples. 

Yes, comparing ourselves can make us feel better. But it can also have the opposite effect. It can make us feel worse as well.

Focusing on another relationship besides yours is a double-edged sword. It doesn’t matter if it’s from friends. From family. Or even from fictional couples on your TV.

It can be tempting to have such relationships be your standard. 

Are they romantic? Are they more sexual? All these questions leave you with a lot of things to think through. 

According to research, comparing a lot about relationships can make a person feel bad about their own. It can lead to doubts. It can lead to insecurities. It can even lead to mistrust. 

Sooner or later, you’ll have a lot of things going through your head. 

Can you do this better? Can you do that better?

And it’ll consume you at one point. But, having that said, don’t just set limits on a relationship. It holds back your growth. 

And it holds back your partner’s growth. 

Something to note

Learn to be content. This way, you can fully enjoy what you have. 

Comparing relationships is a detriment. It not only affects your connection but can also affect your sex life. You want to have contentment in your life. You want to be content with the woman right in front of you.

Don’t settle for less when it comes to your relationships. And don’t expect too much as well. 

“The grass is greener,” as they say. But why not make it ‘green’ by yourself?

Experiment A Little

The human body has several erogenous zones. However, you may not have found every single one your partner has. 

Both men and women have numerous pleasure points in their bodies. It’s not only limited to those below their waists. 

To some, getting caressed on the back of their neck feels good. It could even be a turn-on if a partner massages that particular area.

Others? Having their ears licked or nibbled can make them go crazy. 

Some even like it on the lower back. Or even at the back of the knee and so on. The list is endless. 

A study suggests that women are all unique in their sexuality. 

The nipples, for example, can be sensitive to a few women out there. Some even reach orgasm after their partners stimulate that area. So it all just depends on a woman’s preferences. 

Here’s the deal, it’s easy to assume that a woman’s pleasure point is between her legs. But that is not accurate at all.

So explore her body. Find new pleasure points. Experiment with her a little.

Both of you will surely like it. 

Additionally, you have to pay attention to her special requests. What about her special interests?

Many women can have stronger orgasms with clitoral stimulation. But to some, they much prefer penetration instead. 

Whatever the case is, just ask your girl. There’s no harm in having her open up about these things. 

Also, don’t force her to open up to you. Let her take her time. Tell her that you’re willing to listen. Keep yourself open-minded. 

There are many ways to please a girl’s body. So in the meantime, do a little exploring. 

Yes, trying new things can be fun. But it can even be more fun if you’re doing it with someone else. So, be a man and have that conversation with her!

Don’t Be Upset With A Bad Experience

You and your partner may be pros by now, but there are times wherein sexual frustration kicks in. 

Sometimes you may be in the mood. But it could be different for your girl. 

For example, she might’ve gotten a cold that night. Or it could be from the stress of her work. Or maybe she’s just not feeling it at the moment. 

Sexual urges are complicated. There are a lot of factors to consider. That’s why you have to be understanding and sensitive when it comes to such stuff. 

If this scenario ever happens to you, then don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world.

Your relationship is not doomed. And it surely doesn’t mean that they find you unattractive. However, there could be some other lingering issues that they need to sort out. 

So don’t take it too personally. It could just be the body going through some hormonal changes.

Something to note

A good relationship sometimes has one put the other’s needs first.

It’s not that they’re selfish. It’s just that sometimes one’s needs have to have one’s full attention. 

If you think about it, this dynamic is healthy for the relationship. Couples who do this can have a better quality of life as partners. And it can also increase one’s attachment to the other. 

You see, it’s not all about intimacy. Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of care. Show some appreciation. Show some encouragement. 

Now, don’t get angry if your partner says no to you. Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable for her. So when she says no. Then take it as a NO. 

You’ll have a hard time getting laid if you become upset. So don’t be too hard-headed about it. 

Take a step back. Then put things into perspective. Don’t pick fights when you’re in the heat of the moment. It would only make things worse. 

Facing a sexual disagreement needs to be strategic. You have to be solution-oriented. 

All problems have their respective solutions. So don’t blame your partner. Don’t get upset. You don’t want to escalate the issue any further. 

What both of you can do is work together on a solution. Maybe even compromise. Remember that you’re a couple. The way you got into this mess is together. And the way you’ll get out of it is together as well.

Sex Can Have More Meaning

For guys, it can be hard to understand that sex is not about the physical stuff. Yes, you can argue with your girl. But in the end, it doesn’t affect your sexual urges too much. 

However, a woman’s mind works differently in this regard. 

Men know how to separate sex from the rest of their relationship. But on the other hand, women are more relational. They see their relationships as one full circle. 

What you can do when it comes to these things is to change your mindset.

You may not understand it at first, but you can learn to be more accustomed to it. Just believe and nurture it even.

Take a step back. You’ll soon realize that a woman’s perspective can make more sense. 

She wants to feel safe first. She can’t just dive right into it. 

Yes, some women can do it with no problem. That’s why they call it no strings attached. But to some, there’s considerable work for the relationship to progress. 

For example, you can view sex as the roof of the house of your relationship. However, focusing too much on it can have you forego other vital parts of the construction process. 

Don’t you need walls? What about the floors? What about a solid foundation?

The roof can’t stand by itself. It needs to have its proper support. That’s how women perceive sex in a relationship.

A good foundation is needed first. And as a couple, that takes time and trust. 

Not nurturing all aspects can make it much more difficult for you to enjoy great sex. That’s what you want, right?

Of course, you could always fool around to smooth things out with her. But, that can only depend if the girl chooses to accept your advances. 

Many guys like make-up sex. Girls like it too. But it may not give you the resolution you wanted.

Showing Affection

Is the sex over once you cum? Does it end all there?

It’s normal for guys to think about it this way. 

But in hindsight, there’s more that you can do. Getting yourself in the proper mindset allows you to think about aftercare. 

Aftercare? Yes, this might come as a shock. But there is aftercare in sex as well.

What you do after matters. It might not mean as much, but women like it. They like getting pampered. They like the intimacy. And they for sure like the attention. 

Getting affectionate afterward is an excellent way to BOND with your partner. It shows your intimate side. It also shows how passionate you can be.

So, work on your pillow talk!

You want to be closer to your girl, right? So, don’t be afraid to cuddle up once in a while.

According to studies, people who like to be affectionate after sex tend to get more satisfaction. Relationships can also be said to last longer this way. 

If she wants to spoon, then go on ahead. Give her a warm embrace. Make cuddling a habit between you and your partner.

Sex is not only a one-sided deal. It’s a bond. It’s a form of connection. 

Do you want your relationship to be stronger? Then, by all means, hug it out!

Stronger bonds make for lasting sex experiences. So it’ll sure be worth it at the end of the day. 

Sexual Compatibility

You can’t simply have sexual compatibility click. There has to be some maintenance involved in the process. You have to be willing to make changes later down the line.

Do you want to avoid having your relationship go downhill?

Then, make sure to put some sweat and effort. 

The most effective solutions for a better sex life involve several factors. These factors have to work together. 

If you don’t know what they are, then here’s a breakdown:

  • First, build an intimate communication network
  • Then, learn to reset expectations with your partner
  • And finally, TRY NEW THINGS

You could always contact a sex therapist for help regarding sexual compatibility. So, make sure to keep your options always open.

Final Thoughts

To put it simply, you can’t learn to be good in bed overnight. It takes time. And it takes a lot of work. 

Approach things the right way first. Don’t rush into it. Having a fulfilling sex life requires your full attention. You need to be constantly learning.

Yes, there can be hiccups along the way. But that’s just the standard when it comes to these things. What works one day may not work the next. 

Additionally, you can always try new solutions. Learn to adapt. A long-term relationship can change. It can evolve. So, make sure you evolve along with it.

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

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