How To Be A Freak In Bed With Your Woman & Drive Her Wild

Slow, gentle sex is fun, but don’t you wanna let your primal side out sometimes? If you want to know how to be a freak in bed with your woman, read this NOW!

Men want a “lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets,” right fellas? Well, guess what? 

That saying goes both ways!

It turns out that, get this, women are ALSO looking for some wild/ kinky/ freaky action in the bedroom. And they sure as hell appreciate a partner that provides that. 

But HOW to be a freak in bed? Maybe you’re a bit shy and need some guidance on letting loose. Maybe you’re just inexperienced and need to read up on tips and tricks. Either way, I’ve got you covered.

As your friendly neighborly freak, I will gladly help you out on your quest to drive your girl wild with some not-so-vanilla techniques. I’ve tried all of them out with different partners and am sure they work for most people interested in some freaky fun. 

What Does It Mean To Be “A Freak In Bed”? 

This is a tricky one. Honestly, there’s no single way to be a freak. 


Because what’s considered freaky or kinky will vary from person to person. After all, all have different sexual preferences and levels of experience.

For example, some people think anal sex is freaky. Fair enough, it’s not the “classic” way of having sex, not all people enjoy it, etc. That said, not everyone will consider you a freak for liking anal. Furthermore, not liking anal doesn’t mean you are not (or can not be) a freak.

Freaky can be anything that’s out of the ordinary.

WHAT the ordinary IS is entirely up to you (and your partner). Think about what you consider vanilla, classic, ordinary, everyone-does-it stuff. What are the things outside of that which you are still willing to try? 

When talking about being freaky, it’s less about the specific things you do and more about your attitude toward experimentation! And what is the attitude of the freak? You should try everything at least once! 

Speaking of which….

Sexploitation Is Fun!

Believe me, it really is! You won’t know if you like something until you try it out. 

Of course, everyone has some hard boundaries – that’s a good thing.

Something to note

Sex should be fun, not bring you stress or shame.

Don’t feel pressured to do something you absolutely don’t want to do just because you want to fill some “freak quota.” I’m not talking about crossing your own hard boundaries.

I’m talking about being brave enough to step a little bit out of your comfort zone. As a result, you might actually discover new things that turn you on! 

As a bonus, exploring with a partner is a great bonding experience. BUT! Make sure you have the right partner with you.

If you’re a sex-in-the-bedroom-missionary-style type of guy, experimentation might seem a bit unnerving. However, exploring with someone you trust and are comfortable with makes things much easier.

Being open to suggestions is the first step to being freaky in bed.

But what about SOLO EXPLORATION?

Don’t try out new stuff JUST because your girl wants to. Instead, take your time when you play with yourself and explore the things that turn YOU on.

Experimenting through the power of imagination is risk-free! Think about different scenarios you want to explore. 

Don’t just limit yourself to the imaginary – you can even try out different kinds of stimulation when you’re alone. 

Confidence Is Key

When you’re exploring with a partner, act confident and stay collected. 

Everyone has hang-ups about their sexuality or their sex appeal. Maybe you have some body issues. Perhaps you’re afraid you won’t be able to “perform” as you would like… 

Something to note

A lack of confidence will dampen your mood and probably ruin sexual experimentation and pleasure as a whole.

That’s why it should be dealt with. 

Recognize that your eye magnifies your flaws.  Most people, if not ALL, do not see them at all. 

Maybe you’re afraid that your suggestions for freaky activities may seem too silly, weird, or out here and that you would be judged. 

Well, we DO NOT KINK SHAME here.

I hope you’re with a partner who doesn’t do it either because that’s not a sign of a healthy relationship (be it romantic or sexual). Speak slowly and be confident when you suggest something freaky, and there is a better chance your partner will be into the idea. 

Don’t lose confidence if your girl rejects some of your ideas. After all, everyone has a different kink. Just think of something else and move on to the next thing – a true freak always has new things to explore. 

Being Freaky In Bed Tips 

At last, we’re at the practical advice part.

If you’re new to the whole freak idea, you may be struggling to figure out an activity you could do with your partner. Don’t worry: I have some suggestions prepared. 

1. Get Out Of Your Routine

Anything that has become a routine is the opposite of freaky.

As we mentioned, freaky things are things out of the ordinary. So if you want to be freaky, the first step is to mix up your routine. 

Have sex at different times and in different places. Try new positions. 

You’ll probably realize how same-y your sex life has become when you change things up, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. Breaking the routine will help you find your freaky side! 

2. Let HER Initiate Sex

Men often initiate sex, which gets boring after a while. Don’t always be the first one to make a move. Let her seduce you for a change. Show her you can be comfortable in a more passive/submissive role.

After all, you have to have a freaky partner to be freaky.

Let her unleash her freakiness as well – letting her initiate sex puts her in control. This can be very arousing for both of you, especially if you haven’t tried it before. 

3. Anal Play

Some people find anal sex freaky,  and it’s worth trying out. Just be sure to do it safely. 

Don’t jump into sex right away – start with fingering.

The sensation can feel a bit weird for beginners, so keep that in mind. If fingering goes well, you can move on to sex (although maybe not in the same play session).

To enjoy butt-play, your girl has to be absolutely relaxed.

Something to note

Don’t forget to use PLENTY of water-based lube to avoid painful sensations.

There are even some lubes specifically designed for anal play!

Be careful with the numbing ones – it might sound great for beginners. But it’s better if your girl feels what’s happening so she can tell you if something feels wrong.

Go slow so your girl has time to get used to the feeling. 

Always prepare for anal play – the receiving end has to clean themselves up, maybe even get an enema. Even so, it’s best to use a condom – the anal cavity is home to all sorts of bacteria, so you want to be protected. Plus, precum and cum can irritate the insides. 

Anal sex isn’t the only option for anal play.

Think about rimming – it feels fantastic on the receiving end, making the one performing it feel like a sex god. If you and your partner are adequately cleaned beforehand, there is nothing to worry about.

4. Prostate Play

This does sound too extreme for many guys, but trust me – I’ve tried it, and it’s AWESOME. Prostate orgasms are a thing! They’re real, and they’re STRONG. 

Consider using a toy, so your girl can stimulate your most sensitive spot. You can experiment with it solo beforehand to check if you’re into the sensation. 

If you’re unsure of what prostate toy to pick, the Lelo Billy is a wonderful choice for a beginner.

Lelo Billy

It’s a luxurious sex toy made of high-quality materials. The motors are strong, and the design lets you insert it and target your prostate fairly easily. 


If you (for some reason) don’t know what BDSM is, it stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. This term covers a lot of activities, and you don’t need to be very hardcore to be considered freaky. 

Try out spanking. Many women enjoy being on the receiving end because they like the power dynamics and the combination of pleasure and pain.

You can spank your girl with your hand. But if you want to kick it up a notch, you can upgrade to a wooden spoon or paddle. Keep your focus on the butt and thighs because other places may be the wrong kind of painful. 

Maybe SHE can ask to spank YOU? Go for it. Who knows – you might enjoy it. Also, dominant women are hot. 

Rough play like biting and scratching is also often regarded as part of BDSM play.

Bite her neck and shoulder lightly and avoid any major arteries. See if she likes it.

Play around with the intensity of the bite to find out what pressure works best for her. Then, if she’s really into it, you can try the same thing on the inner part of her thighs (but keep in mind it’s much more sensitive down there).

If you’re the one on top during sex, your girl is in the perfect location to scratch your back.

Ask her to do it lightly at first and get more aggressive as she goes.  Find out what level of intensity works for you. It’s worth a try – the animalistic behavior is VERY arousing.

Restraints are another popular light BDSM option.

Tie your girl up with a scarf or something similar to restrict her movement. Now she can lay back and relax, and you can play with her all you want! But, of course, being tied up so YOU’RE the one who receives all the pleasure is also a great option. 

6. Dirty Talk

Not all people feel comfortable with dirty talking, but it can be very arousing when done right. 

You don’t need to get overly nasty if that’s what’s bothering you (although you totally CAN if that’s your thing). 

Be confident – speak at a slow and steady pace, and use a deep voice (girls ADORE that).

Try not to go too fast, so you don’t start to stutter and mix words up from the adrenaline.

Start light – tell your girl how horny she makes you, how hot she looks, how much you like the things she does to you.

Ask her questions like “Do you like that?” or “How do you want it?” Not only is this hot, but it’s a nice way to learn about what she likes and what she wants instead of guessing and relying only on body language.

7. Sex In Public

Okay, maybe not while crowds of people watch (this is a game for much more experienced freaks) but in public spaces where you COULD get caught.

The danger and the taboo are a turn-on for many people.

Try a secluded place in the park late at night. Maybe some teens dragged a bench behind the bushes? If not, you can drag one yourself.

Doing it in your car while in the parking lot is also a popular option. 

In any case, AVOID  doing anything that could get you arrested, and, for God’s sake, AVOID places where children usually are.  

If you want sex in public with less risk, just do it outside while on a hike.

Another option is using a remote-controlled sex toy like the Lovense Lush.

Lovense Lush

Your girl just inserts it inside of her, and you can activate it with your phone while you two are out and about. The motors are extremely quiet, so only the two if you will know what’s going on. 

8. Role Playing

Sometimes, role-playing can be part of BDSM, but not all role-playing games include bondage or stuff like that.

You two can choose whatever characters you want to.

A teacher and a student. A policeman and a pretty lady that was way past the speed limit. Two complete strangers?

The possibilities and scenarios are endless. Explore different power dynamics or just do things you wouldn’t normally do as “you.” 

9. Phone/Cybersex

Honestly, phone and cybersex are my favorite foreplay and edging games! They’re also great options for long-distance couples or when your girl is out of town for a couple of nights. 

If you want to keep it really freaky, you can start with phone sex while in separate rooms in the same house. Or maybe you can begin with sexting while you and your honey are still at work.

Describe IN DETAIL what you imagine doing to her and what you WILL do to her once you see her.  If possible, you can even send her some pics of you and ask her for pics back.

Phone and cybersex are a great way to warm up before the real deal. Once you see each other, you’ll already be so horny the sex will be mind-blowing. 

10.  Threesomes, Swinging, and Group Sex

This is definitely a freaky idea for the more advanced, but it’s still worth mentioning. 

Not every relationship can handle the complexity of adding more people to the couple. But for some folks, that’s EXACTLY what makes their relationship and sex life perfect.

New people can add a lot of pleasure to the bedroom by bringing new ideas, kinks, desires, and everything else you can think of. 

A few important distinctions:

Threesomes involve three people. Group sex or orgies involve multiple people. Swinging is when couples swap partners. 

Something to note

Be extra cautious before attempting any of these types of relationships.

You have to have a strong bond between you and your partner and make sure there is no jealousy or hurt feelings. But unfortunately, not every person and not every couple is equipped to handle such a thing. 

If you are trying to fix your relationship by adding more people, that’s DEFINITELY a mistake! 


It will most likely destroy the relationship instead of fixing whatever needs to be fixed.

On the other hand, if you and your partner both want this to happen, you can have the adventure of a lifetime! 

Final Thoughts

Everyone has a little something freaky in themselves – some have less, some have more, but it’s there. The most important thing is to be confident and freely express your desires and fantasies to your partner.

I hope this guide helped you decide where to start with your experimentation. There is so much more you can do – I’m sure you’ll get plenty of new ideas as you play. 

Explore with enthusiasm!

Dainis Graveris

Dainis Graveris

Over last 4 years Dainis have helped millions of people through his advice on this site (200+ guides and 1M+ visits/monthly). His work & advice has appeared on sites like: Healthline, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, WomensHealthMag, MindBodyGreen & more. Read More.

Got Questions? Ping me on Twitter.