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So what does this all mean? Well, kinks and fetishes are totally normal… and while you might find some of your results surprising (especially if you’re new to the world of BDSM), they shouldn’t worry you! We all have fantasies, and they’re generally a mixture of things you’d love to enact in real life, and those you prefer to remain in the fantasy world.

You’ll find that most kinks and fetishes have an aspect of power play, and that’s because as humans it’s a fascinating subject for us. Power imbalance, social hierarchy and control are what govern our lives… playing around with those dynamics can be thrilling material for our sex lives! The most important thing before any kind of kinky or BDSM play with a partner is negotiation. This means clearly communicating what you do and do not want to happen together. This might sound very official but this can be a supremely sexy process! Ask each other detailed questions about the activities you’re planning and how you feel about them before diving in. Make sure you agree safe words! Yes this is a real thing and not just from the movies. This can be anything you like, but a traffic light system works well. Red for stop immediately, orange for slow down, green for go.