Get access to DIY Monkey Rocker plans, and other ideas on how to get this sex glider, rocker type machine at an affordable price…
If you want a hands-free masturbation experience that ALMOST mimics actual penetrative sex, then you need a sex machine.
They are awesome!
…And often ridiculously priced.
Not everyone can get their hands on a luxury like a fuck machine, especially if they’re on a budget.
Luckily, there is a DIY version for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, even sex toys!
But aren’t sex machines insanely intricate? They look impossible to DIY.
Well, there are indeed some automatic sex machines that are best bought from a licensed manufacturer.
However, there is also a simple and fun machine that’s safe to make yourself – a Monkey Rocker.
Table of Contents
What is a Monkey Rocker?
A monkey rocker is a sex machine that is hands-free AND works without electricity.
The concept behind it is similar to the Sybian sex toys – a penetrative sex toy you can ride. But unlike Sybian, monkey rockers don’t use vibrations but movements.
As you rock back and forth on your toy, the rocker’s dildo moves in a thrusting motion. The faster you move, the faster the dildo thrusts.
Even though the design is analog, these types of devices can be rather pricey. They can cost as much as $1000, so it’s no wonder many people are looking for ways to DIY their own monkey rocker.
How Do You Use a Monkey Rocker?
It’s very easy to use a Monkey Rocker, as long as you’ve had some experience with penetration.
And, because it doesn’t use ANY electricity, you don’t have to deal with battery charging or cables.
It’s ready whenever you are—even in a blackout.
- First, put some lube on the Rocker’s dildo. It will make your experience safer and more pleasurable.
- When you sit down, make sure the dildo is able to penetrate you.
- Finally, start rocking back and forth. This will make the dildo thrust into you.
You can change up the speed and the swing of the rocking motion to control the thrusting.
The whole process is very intuitive – just relax and go at your own pace.
Where Can You Find a Good Monkey Rocker Blueprint?
Seems like the most popular place for these plans and blueprints is this FunkyRocker website.
They sell the plans for $10 + there is another plan for $9 if you want to upgrade the glider for double penetration.
Their design is powered by using Vac-U-Lock attachment so you can attach any dildo that has a hole for Vac-U-Lock.
You can adjust the angle of dildo, the depth of it, and even the height of the rocker itself.
How Do You Make A Monkey Rocker?
You’ve got your plans, your materials, your tools – now it’s time to build your own Monkey Rocker.
Be patient – building something takes time, so you won’t be able to use your rocker right away.
Step #1: Prepare What You Will Need
Careful preparations will ensure faster and mishap-free work.
Organize your work area and make sure you have space for all your materials and tools. They should be easily accessible when needed.
It’s best if you work on a large table or similar surface.
Don’t forget that your blueprints have to all be sized properly before you get started on anything!
Step #2: Set The Blueprints
Get your fiberboard and place the blueprints on it.
Use a temporary adhesive so your template doesn’t move around all willy-nilly.
A simple glue stick or a few pieces of scotch tape will probably do the trick.
Make sure you have enough space on your board for all of your pieces, especially if you have multiple pieces that only need one template (double-thickness or left and right versions of the same piece).
Step #3: Cut Them
Make your cuts as clean as possible by using a proper cutting tool.
Sharp tools might be intimidating, but they’re actually safer than dull ones. Make sure everything is sharpened, work carefully, and wear gloves to avoid injury.
Step #4: Sanding The Pieces
Sanding makes everything smooth, so you don’t get nasty splinters during playtime.
Work extra carefully on any parts of the monkey rocker that will rub against your skin.
Sanding by hand is tedious and will tire you out pretty quickly, so think about buying or borrowing an automatic sander.
After everything is super smooth it’s time to paint your pieces. Make sure you glue together any double pieces before painting them.
Step #5: Drilling
After the paint is completely dry, it’s time to make some holes.
Double-check your blueprints before drilling, so you can be absolutely sure about the size and placement of the holes.
Keep in mind you might have to drill holes with different depths – don’t just go right through the fiberboard without checking if that’s what you’re supposed to do.
Step #6: Assemble The Pieces
It’s all starting to come together – literally.
Start assembling your monkey rocker following the blueprints you have. At this stage, you’ll also include the bearing arms, fasteners, and Vac-U-Lock adapter.
Carefully test the rocking motion to check how smoothly it moves.
You can rub some carpenter’s wax where there is any unnecessary friction.
Step #7: Padding
Add some padding to the seating area so nothing nudges you or causes you discomfort when you’re rocking.
As you’re adjusting the padding, sit down to check the comfort level. Add or trim the padding as needed. Secure everything in place when you’re done.
Step #8: Cover It Up
Add some coverings that match your chosen paint color.
Fold the fabric beneath the seat and secure it in place with some heavy-duty staples. Make sure you unfold all edges of the fabric, so no loose threads stick out.
Step #9: Add Your Dildo
You’re almost done!
You just need to add the most important piece – the dildo.
If you want to kick things up a notch, you could possibly even add a vibrator.
Any toy you choose should be able to be secured in the Vac-U-Lock adapter.
Average-sized dildos work best with Monkey Rockers – a thrust between 4 to 7 inches is ideal and will also perfectly mimic real-life intercourse.
Put off experimenting with any larger-than-life toys – you need some experience with your new machine first.
Step #10: Ride On!
You’re all done! Congratulations.
Make sure everything is clean before using your DIY monkey rocker for the first time. Put on some lube on the dildo, sit down, and ROCK ON!
Here’s another example of homemade rocker showing the progress using FunkyRocker site plans.
But he also commented that parts are expensive together (if you want a sturdy design):
It is most definitely not a build for a beginner and the parts are FAR from cheap. I always wondered why the Monkey Rockers cost so much, now I know. That being said, the plans are excellent and even include a BoM with McMaster-Carr parts.
Make Your Own Monkey Rocker With 3 Standalone Sex Toys
Finally, here’s another idea on monkey rocker “hack” that would consist of three sex toys:
Here’s how this setup could look like:
The idea is that you place the dildo that you want into toy mount, sit on the chair, and simply bounce back and forth.
But the coolest thing of this setup is that you can use it standalone.
Bouncy position enhancer chair can be used to make some sex positions easier.
And Bonbon toy mount can be used with Magic Wand and suddenly you get a Sybian type vibrating saddle!
This kind of setup would set you back around $200 and requires no time to make.
Check out other great toys in our best monkey rockers guide.
Other People’s Tips On Making A Homemade Monkey Rocker
Hmm… well, keep in mind that I was sort of learning as I went (and there were breaks to wait for new bits/blades/parts/tools), but here’s my best recollection….
#1 – First you need to order all the parts.
This took a good couple of hours; you get to punch in all of the McMaster-Carr part numbers while looking at the PDF, chase down the bearing arms, etc. You need to go to the local supply place and haul the MDF home, etc.
#2 – You need to print out the plans.
For me, this involved sorting the pages by size, then printing them (“posterized”, or in overlapping chunks that fit on a single piece of paper), cutting them out, etc. so that I wound up with a set of actual-size paper templates.
I had much better luck when I got a pair of scissors and cut them relatively close (1/8″ or better probably) to the outer line, since then there wasn’t a bunch of paper getting in the way of me seeing the line as I cut. Like I mentioned, this took me ~5 hours, but if you went to Kinko’s like a smart person, call it an hour.
Some parts should be cut from one thickness of MDF and some from the other; I separated those out first. Then I laid them all out on the MDF with some supposed-to-be-temporary 3M spray adhesive. Extra guessing was required so that the leftovers would be in the right shape to make duplicates of the parts that would need to be double-thickness or that need left and right versions. Call it an hour or two of planning.
#3 – The actual cutting process
It isn’t so bad. It took me a long time (~8 hours?), but I was cutting the thick material directly (instead of using very thin templates and a flush-trim bit) and I did not have proper work surfaces.
There was lots of figuring out how to clamp a part so that it was far enough off my flimsy portable workbench, the portion I wanted to cut wasn’t near a clamp, the jigsaw blade wasn’t going to hit the bench, etc. etc. I bet you could do it all in three hours or so it you knew what you were doing.
There are three or so parts (if memory serves) that are double-layer, and a few more that are paired (in left/right versions).
For these you now need to trace the first part you’ve already cut, rough-cut the second part, and then flush-trim it so that the parts are actually the same.
For double-layer parts, rough-cut, then glue/clamp, then flush-trim once the glue is pretty well dried. This probably takes an hour or two if you know what you’re doing, plus some waiting time depending on your glue.
#4 – Then you will need to drill a bunch of holes.
You will need a set of 1/64th drill bits (plus some Forstner bits). Again, since the plans don’t do the work for you, you get to go through each page and figure out which size each hole is supposed to be (which is usually marked somewhere on the page… usually… but not on every hole). There are four (?) different drill sizes, although some of them are to different depths (and some are through holes). Probably an hour or two to page through the plans and understand exactly what’s going on, and come up with a plan for drilling holes of X size to Y depth, etc., and then another three or four hours of drilling. (I was also tuning my drill press and was very nervous about the holes lining up, so you might well be faster).
#5 – Time to smooth over the edges of all the parts.
Fun, fun. Probably an hour or two if you have a router table.
#6 – Time to smooth, sand, prime, and paint.
Haven’t done the painting yet, and I smoothed curves as I was going, but the sanding probably took an hour or two; it’s not hard.
I haven’t done the upholstery or final assembly yet. It took me a good hour or two to get the test-assembly done, although there was lots of squinting and fixing small problems while I went.
All told, you could probably knock this out in a solid weekend if you weren’t as useless as I was.
Bringing It All Together
With the monkey rocker plans in your hand it’s all about just putting in the hours. I suggest you join communities like BDSM DIY subreddit where people discuss their DIY projects and you could get feedback on your own DIY monkey rocker making progress.
Also check out other fucking machines you might like here.