Get access to DIY Monkey Rocker plans, and other ideas on how to get this sex glider, rocker type machine at an affordable price…
So what is a monkey rocker?
A monkey rocker is a mechanic sex machine that you can ride by the natural rocking motion of your body back and forth.
You don’t even need hands to use it, it’s just like riding a rocking horse.
On top of the machine you place a dildo that can thrust from 4″ to 7″ deep (the depth of average penis).
Because these rockers get so expensive ($500-$800) naturally people are looking for cheaper venues.
So where can you find a good Monkey Rocker blueprint?
Seems like the most popular place for these plans and blueprints is this FunkyRocker website.
They sell the plans for $10 + there is another plan for $9 if you want to upgrade the glider for double penetration.
Their design is powered by using Vac-U-Lock attachment so you can attach any dildo that has a hole for Vac-U-Lock.
You can adjust the angle of dildo, the depth of it, and even the height of the rocker itself.
So how do you make a monkey rocker?
Here are simplified steps:
- Find a monkey rocker plan online, or buy the one online
- You’ll need to get a medium-density fiberboard that is easy to cut, coated steel bearing arms, fasteners, and foam, vinyl, or leather to cover the seat. Finally, you’ll need Vac-U-lock attachment and the dildo of your choosing.
- Once you have the ingredients and basic woodworkers power or mechanic tools you just print out the plan, measure correctly all details on fiberboard, cut them, and assemble it all together.
- Let the games begin!
Here’s another example of homemade rocker showing the progress using FunkyRocker site plans.
But he also commented that parts are expensive together (if you want a sturdy design):
It is most definitely not a build for a beginner and the parts are FAR from cheap. I always wondered why the Monkey Rockers cost so much, now I know. That being said, the plans are excellent and even include a BoM with McMaster-Carr parts.
But when you create it… It’s durable and silent since there are no mechanics involved.
But this can also be a downside, if you prefer vibrations…
Though hances are since you want to make monkey rocker, you’re sucker for thrusting motions anyway!
Make Your Own Monkey Rocker With 3 Standalone Sex Toys
Finally, here’s another idea on monkey rocker “hack” that would consist of three sex toys:
Here’s how this setup could look like:
The idea is that you place the dildo that you want into toy mount, sit on the chair, and simply bounce back and forth.
But the coolest thing of this setup is that you can use it standalone.
Bouncy position enhancer chair can be used to make some sex positions easier.
And Bonbon toy mount can be used with Magic Wand and suddenly you get a Sybian type vibrating saddle!
This kind of setup would set you back around $200 and requires no time to make.
Other People Tips On Making A Homemade Monkey Rocker
Here’s what other people say about making monkey rocker that might be helpful
I have been following this design for awhile. Over the years there have been a lot of discussions and examples online. Your project is the first that I have seen that uses laser cut templates!
I strongly suggest you consider selling your laser cut templates either directly or in association with FunkyRocker.com. I know I would be interested in buying a set!
Another problem has been hardware. As you found out there are limited sources and pricing is high. I see another opportunity for bundling the plans, the templates and the hardware in a kit. Again I know I would buy it.
Here’s more feedback on the plans itself from FunkyRocker site:
I too bought the plans (a few years ago now) and have yet to built it.
I got the optional dual version as well. Need to go through the parts list and order stuff up. Should totally make two, because that’s how I roll.
I like the laser cut templates (that I didn’t see the first time), could totally do that with my cutter. Probably easier than dealing with paper. Did the PDF translate into the vectors nice and easy?
Finally, here’s a great story of a guy who shared how the process of making his own monkey rocker went:
“Hmm… well, keep in mind that I was sort of learning as I went (and there were breaks to wait for new bits/blades/parts/tools), but here’s my best recollection….
#1 – First you need to order all the parts.
This took a good couple of hours; you get to punch in all of the McMaster-Carr part numbers while looking at the PDF, chase down the bearing arms, etc. You need to go to the local supply place and haul the MDF home, etc.
#2 – You need to print out the plans.
For me, this involved sorting the pages by size, then printing them (“posterized”, or in overlapping chunks that fit on a single piece of paper), cutting them out, etc. so that I wound up with a set of actual-size paper templates.
I had much better luck when I got a pair of scissors and cut them relatively close (1/8″ or better probably) to the outer line, since then there wasn’t a bunch of paper getting in the way of me seeing the line as I cut. Like I mentioned, this took me ~5 hours, but if you went to Kinko’s like a smart person, call it an hour.
Some parts should be cut from one thickness of MDF and some from the other; I separated those out first. Then I laid them all out on the MDF with some supposed-to-be-temporary 3M spray adhesive. Extra guessing was required so that the leftovers would be in the right shape to make duplicates of the parts that would need to be double-thickness or that need left and right versions. Call it an hour or two of planning.
#3 – The actual cutting process
It isn’t so bad. It took me a long time (~8 hours?), but I was cutting the thick material directly (instead of using very thin templates and a flush-trim bit) and I did not have proper work surfaces.
There was lots of figuring out how to clamp a part so that it was far enough off my flimsy portable workbench, the portion I wanted to cut wasn’t near a clamp, the jigsaw blade wasn’t going to hit the bench, etc. etc. I bet you could do it all in three hours or so it you knew what you were doing.
There are three or so parts (if memory serves) that are double-layer, and a few more that are paired (in left/right versions).
For these you now need to trace the first part you’ve already cut, rough-cut the second part, and then flush-trim it so that the parts are actually the same.
For double-layer parts, rough-cut, then glue/clamp, then flush-trim once the glue is pretty well dried. This probably takes an hour or two if you know what you’re doing, plus some waiting time depending on your glue.
#4 – Then you will need to drill a bunch of holes.
You will need a set of 1/64th drill bits (plus some Forstner bits). Again, since the plans don’t do the work for you, you get to go through each page and figure out which size each hole is supposed to be (which is usually marked somewhere on the page… usually… but not on every hole). There are four (?) different drill sizes, although some of them are to different depths (and some are through holes). Probably an hour or two to page through the plans and understand exactly what’s going on, and come up with a plan for drilling holes of X size to Y depth, etc., and then another three or four hours of drilling. (I was also tuning my drill press and was very nervous about the holes lining up, so you might well be faster).
#5 – Time to smooth over the edges of all the parts.
Fun, fun. Probably an hour or two if you have a router table.
#6 – Time to smooth, sand, prime, and paint.
Haven’t done the painting yet, and I smoothed curves as I was going, but the sanding probably took an hour or two; it’s not hard.
I haven’t done the upholstery or final assembly yet. It took me a good hour or two to get the test-assembly done, although there was lots of squinting and fixing small problems while I went.
All told, you could probably knock this out in a solid weekend if you weren’t as useless as I was.”
Bringing It All Together
With the monkey rocker plans in your hand it’s all about just putting in the hours. Yes, finding hardware might be a challenge unless you’re handy with woodworking already.
Additionally, I suggest you join communities like BDSM DIY subreddit where people discuss their DIY projects and you could get feedback on your own DIY monkey rocker making progress.
Also check out other fucking machines you might like here.