Bondage For Beginners: Your 101 Guide & Pro Tips

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Bondage can be a very exciting way to bring in some fresh air into your bedroom.

When my partner first suggested we try bondage during our anniversary, I was doubtful at first. 

But I let her introduce it to me nonetheless, and let me tell you something:

It has been something that we regularly practice when we want to connect and have more time for some naughty play.

So, today let’s talk about all the important things you need to know and how to do it right. 

Let’s dive right in!

What Is Bondage?

Bondage is a part of BDSM sexual play, and it involves restraining your partner for heightened pleasure.

There can be some other aspects of BDSM involved like role-playing or punishment, but it’s mostly about giving away your power over your sexual pleasure. 


Why Should You Be Interested In Bondage?

For a wide array of things!

Bondage can be very fun and pleasurable, and it doesn’t have to be as cheesy as 50 Shades Of Grey has portrayed it. 

Bondage is a great way to increase your pleasure, get to know your partner and their pleasure more, and explore new sexual sensations. 

You can enjoy it whether you’re submissive or dominant one in the relationship, and it doesn’t have to mean that there is something wrong with you!


Get Consent & Talk about it First

Now, let’s talk about the most important thing when it comes to bondage for beginners:

Communication. 

You can’t just wake up one day and decide that you’re going to tie your partner up and pleasure them. 

Bondage must be consensual, just like in all other sexual activities you have to talk about your preferences first. 

You both have different things you enjoy, maybe bondage is OK, but nasty talk is a big no-no for your partner. 

It’s important that you both have an honest conversation and share your wishes and things that you don’t like when it comes to bondage play. 

This will make the whole experience so much better, and once again, it gives you a new way of connecting with your partner. 


Safety Precautions

The next thing you need to take seriously about bondage as a beginner is safety. 

If you want to have only the best experience and truly enjoy bondage, you’ll need to be aware of things that can go wrong. 

It’s important that you come up with the safe word for bondage play with your partner. 

This safe word will be something that will ensure that both of you are comfortable, and if something is bothering one of you, it’s an easy way out. 

You can come up with your own word, preferably the one that won’t casually slip out of your mouth during play.

You can also use a traffic light system, where green stands for “continue, I am OK”, orange is for slowing down and red means “stop immediately”.

Second, always be mindful of restraints and not harming your partner.

Some people do enjoy the combination of pain and pleasure, but you don’t want to tie their hands so hard that you cut off the circulation now, do you?

The same goes for the places where you tie your partner. Choose the location and item that’s not going to hurt your partner. 

For example:

Tying your partner to a heater or a radiator in the middle of winter might not be a good idea as it can be too hot, and they might end up hurt. 

Also, always prepare the easy way out for your partner in case they get triggered or things go too far. It means, keep the keys or scissors close.

Always make sure that safety comes first when it’s time to bondage play.


Getting Started

After you’ve had a conversation with your partner and you both decided that you want to try bondage and have a safe word, it’s time to get started. 

If you’re beginners in bondage play, I recommend getting a scarf or a tie from your closet as a way to tie yourself or your partner up. 

You really don’t need a lot to get started with bondage!

At this point, you should already know whether you’ll be the one restrained, giving your power away, or you’ll be the one taking it from your partner. 

There are people who are both, and they call themselves ‘switches’ because they enjoy the best of both worlds and switch between positions. 

If you’re new to bondage, you might not know which one you prefer, so I definitely recommend trying both ways before making the decision. 

Another thing you need to know about bondage is that there doesn’t have to be penetration or exchanging liquids during bondage play. 

You can simply enjoy teasing, rubbing, and some other stimulations play if you don’t want to engage in a sexual act tied up. 


Try Different Techniques

The best thing about bondage is the wide array of techniques you can try to make it the best experience possible. 

Even trying different restraining tools can make the whole experience so much more different!

If scarfs and ties are too boring for you, why not get some ropes and try restraining your partner with them. Why not take a Shibari (Japanese bondage art) workshop and learn to tie them in the rope?

Or maybe just use a bed restraint system, to spice things up occasionally? 

Your options here are limitless, really. 

Try different positions for tying your partner, maybe from behind or on the chair instead of your regular bed style. 

Also, try incorporating some gentle role-play (here are some ideas for you)

Some leather restraints and whips and even clothing can really help you play into fantasies. 

You might want to indulge in creating a power imbalance scenario like a professor and a school girl to make the bondage experience even more thrilling.


Try Bondage Toys That Are Easy To Use

If you try bondage and see that that’s something you and your partner enjoy very much, then it might be a good idea to invest in some toys. 

Apart from some basic toys like vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs, you can also look into getting specific restrains. 

One of them being a spreader bar, which is used to restrain your legs and keep them spread out. 

It’s very popular in the bondage play, and it’s a safe way to start your bondage beginner collection. 

You can use it to control your partner by not letting them stop you from pleasuring them by closing their legs. 

It can be thrilling; I encourage you to give a spreader bar a go!

Another option would be getting the under bed restraining set if you intend on playing mostly in your bedroom. 

It’s very comfortable, you can hide it easily until you need it, and it will allow you to restrain both the arms and the legs most of the time. 


Aftercare

Now let’s talk about another very important part of bondage play:

Aftercare. 

Giving your power away and surrendering to your partner can be amazing, but also distressing for some people. 

Also, BDSM and bondage can get intense, and while you might be into it while you’re doing it, once it’s done, there can be weird feelings. 

So, because of this, it’s important to create a safe and nice environment after bondage play is over. 

Care for your wrists and ankles if there are burns from restrains, cuddle with your partner, and spend time being gentle with each other. 

This will help to create only the best memories about bondage play, and it also allows you to connect even better.

So, don’t neglect this part of your bondage play if you’re a beginner. 

It’s totally fine to cuddle under the blanket and be cute even if just a few moments away, you were calling each other names and punishing for bad behavior. 

Balance is important!


Other People Tips & Experiences

And now, let’s take a look at what other people on the internet are sharing about their experience with bondage:

“Bondage tape is nice. It’s essentially like using thicker saran wrap, so you do fight the dreaded crumpling up on itself. But it’s rather foolproof, just be a safety nerd and make sure to have safety scissors to cut out the taped up person if an emergency arises. (it’s also a bitch to unravel if you get it folded on itself.)

Otherwise, my default staple is cuffs. Not police handcuffs. But individual wrist/ankle leather or nylon cuffs. Preferably with padded liners. It gives you a lot of flexibility and can be paired with rope or simply linked together to bind. And they’re very easy to undo in emergencies.

Rope is fine for beginners, just make a tutorial night. Get comfy, open YouTube, start learning ties and knots, and have fun. Also- safety scissors. Just in case.

Have fun and be safe. :3

Source: Reddit user, unknown

“Invest in some leather bondage cuffs. That way you don’t have to worry about knots on your joints and they are comfortable to wear for extended periods.

If you do metal handcuffs they suck for long term wear but get ones that double lock (they can’t tighten or loosen) and make sure you double lock them.

Don’t tie out anything taut or you will cause cramps or damage.”

Source: reddit user, gonewild9676

“If you’re just starting out, I advise not buying a lot and just using things you already own to see if you like the activities first. For example, you can easily use a belt for bondage (way more comfortable than handcuffs) or even a bed sheet to wrap someone up sort of burrito style.

Sleep masks work well as blindfolds. Balled up underwear work as a gag. You get the idea. If you’re interested in impact, spanking is a great place to start.

Once you figure out what you really like and want to do more of, you can buy more gear. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is a class BDSM book that explains how to do everything safely. I highly recommend it.”

Source: reddit user, Mimsy-Borogoves

Conclusion

And here you have it – your bondage for beginners and everything there is you need to know about it. 

If you’ve ever fantasized about being tied up or tieing someone else up, you might be into this sort of play.

So, I encourage you to go and have an honest conversation with your partner and go explore!

Bondage is truly an amazing way to spice things up, and it’s a great way to start with BDSM if you were ever interested in trying it.

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